Random Invite from a Sorority
 

Hey all,

I just recieved a random message today from one of the sororities on campus inviting me over tomorrow night to watch the baseball game. Is this a Rush invitation? If so, how does this kind of thing work?

Thanks, a newb

that's my guess. do you know if this group does cob? you could ask one of the girls or call your greek life office

Yup, their website says they do continuous open recruitment. Not quite sure exactly what that means, though.

That kind of happened to me after rush, too. I was dropped by all sororities during rush, and DZ was the group I wanted more than anything. The day after Bid Day, I received an email inviting me to Movie Night with the DZs. It turned out to be a COB invitation, too. I was ecstatic, and I went to the event. Two days later, I received my bid. I would've gotten it earlier, but they hadn't been able to get in touch with me!

If you're at all interested in the group, I suggest that you just reply to the email by asking some kind of question (like where you should meet them or something) to show your interest and to let them know you'll be attending. Chances are, if they know you want to come, they'll be looking for you, or they may even send someone to pick you up so you won't feel uncomfortable showing up by yourself. Good luck. :)

why would a group cut you during rush and then invite you to their cob event?

Sometimes they just didn't get a chance to know you during first round before they had to make cuts. A lot of good women can slip through the cracks that way.

This happens all the time. Groups have to cut down to a certain point using release figures and girls who didn't get "rushed" by a good rusher (sister) didn't get spoken FOR (as opposed to against) get cut. These are often amazing PNMs who did slip through the cracks!

Good luck. We hope you enjoy the experience in a much more relaxed atmosphere.

Denise

Not to get into what goes on behind closed doors during recruitment, but I second what Denise said. At least in our organization, most people were cut because they lacked anyone speaking FOR them, not because people actually spoke AGAINST them.

Many times our small Spring class was even better than our Fall formal rush class - more substance, less flash - they were great girls who had slipped between the cracks during the 2-week, 16-sorority insanity of formal rush.

I have to agree with the last two posts as well. I think many who are released just didn't meet enough women at the parties or the rusher was the greatest. The greek system I came from was only 5 houses so it wasn't so hard on the PNM, but still hectic for the houses. I have always had the personal opinion that almost nobody should get dropped and ALMOST every woman should receive a bid. There were always so many amazing women going through! There are always a few that were a little odd, but that's for a different thread ;)

Because I was incredibly shy during rush. One of the sisters really liked me and went out on a limb to give me an invitation to COB. I was much more talkative there, and I received my bid. When chapters are under total, they are able to do things like that. I'm always the girl in our chapter who advocates second chances for the quiet girls. I wish all chapters felt the same way.

It does happen especially on my campus. Alot of times, you can only invite so many girls back during formal recruitment. Some of the girl s that get cut, aren't girls you HATE, you just couldn't invite them back.

Random note: One of my sisters is a Phi Sig!:)

cob stands for continous open bidding. it is also known as cor or continous open recruitment.what that means is that there is no formal time line in which the sorority is holding recruitment events.

the sorority may have one or two open spots or more.this can be due to many factors including members graduating, members dropping out of school, members not being to afford the dues, etc.

the sorority is not at total. total is the maximum number of members each sorority on campus is allowed to have. that number is the same for every sorority. the only time that a sorority may go over total is during formal recruitment, when pledging quota(the maximum number of new members a sorority can extend a bid to during formal recruitment-quota is set at some point during formal recruitment and is basically the number of potential new members that attended parties on a certain day divided by the number of sororities on campus.)would put them over the number that is total.

give it a chance. as others have said, cob parties are way, way more relaxed than formal recruitment, and you will really get to see the sorority on a more realistic basis. have fun!!

Just got back from the event! The girls are so nice and it seems to be a pretty cool house. I also just got another invite for an event tomorrow! I guess we'll just see what happens.

Personally LisAlly, I think COB events are the way to go in general for a low pressure environment in which to get to know a sorority. I just joined AXO through a fall COB party (we have deferred rush) and the events were a blast. A huge part of why I dropped out of formal recruitment is b/c I was so tired and stressed that I felt like I really came across as insincere when rushing the houses. Nobody would ever describe me as fake in everyday life, but I just couldn't deal with the notion that I would get picked up by a sorority and I hadn't been "myself" and end up somewhere that I didn't fit! When I went to the COB events, I was really relaxed and I had an amazing time getting to mix with everyone in a totally casual setting. My face didn't hurt from smiling like it did during formal and everyone was so real and they didn't necessarily have their "game faces" on like most houses did during formal.

I know a lot of girls thrive on the craziness of formal rush so don't get discouraged from going through it in the future, but I personally went nuts!!! I'm so glad the sisters encouraged me to go to COB events in the fall even after I dropped out of spring rush. If you're a laid back kind of girl I think you'll really appreciate the environment of a COB party. Please give it a shot!!! :)

Oh and just as an aside, hi everyone! I'm Emily and I've been lurking around the boards for awhile (they're so entertaining) and I look forward to getting to know everyone. Okay I'm done hijacking the post. :)

Lol I'm sorry LisAlly... I guess I posted just a few minutes too late for you to get my rambling advice. I'm glad you had fun and I hope you have a great time at the upcoming events! :)

Good luck to you!

I was a COR'er too!

Thanks everyone for your help and advice! I'll keep you posted!

welcome to alpha chi emily!!

lisally, i am so glad you had a good time and that you have been invited to visit them again. best wishes!!

well...had the second event today.

I really like the girls, but I was only the only rushee there so it was slightly awkward, but it seemed to work out okay.

One thing that worries me is that I was asked to leave half an hour before the invitation said the event was to end; I was told the event was over. This may have been the case in actuality, but I haven't heard back from the house. Do you guys think I was released?

Unless you seriously got the vibe that things weren't working out at all between you and any of the girls there, I doubt you were released. Maybe they felt that since you were the only PNM there that they had ample time to get to know you and just decided to let you out early. From my experience (little though it may be), rush is really structured and everything is down to the minute, but COR is much more laid back and the actual time frame is pretty loose.
I just CORed into my chapter a couple weeks ago, and it took me more than a week to hear back from them after my COR event. There might be some paperwork technicalities, or maybe they're waiting to have a meeting to vote. Hang in there!:)

LisAlly, seriously don't worry about it. I don't know how it is at other schools, but at my school you can't be "released" from COBing. You either get a bid or you don't. If you were the only PNM it is entirely possible, IMO, that the sisters were just like "Okay well since there's only one girl here, we don't need the extra time to get to know multiple girls." I'm sure they appreciated that you had the interest to show up! That interest seems like it would only be highlighted by being the only PNM in attendance.

:D I hope everything works out the way you want it to! Please let us know... I'm rooting for you!

Oh one other thing really quick...after I went to COB events for Alpha Chi, I sent a "thank you" email to the VP recruitment (the president would have been appropriate as well) to thank her and the sisters for a great time. I also asked her to keep me updated on future COB events (note: all our COB events were open to all non-Greek women so this may not be a good idea if the COB events are all invite only at your school). Later on, one of the sisters told me that she was impressed by the old school manners and she could tell I was really interested in the house. If you think this house might be one you're seriously interested in joining, sending a thank you email might be something you can do to express that interest.

I agree with this. It can be so frustrating to chapters when they like a PM, but have no clue whether or not she'll really accept the bid if the chapter extends one. I would be impressed with this e-mail too and would "rest easy" knowing that she was interested in the chapter (as long as it's one e-mail and not 10... haha).

Yep, you can never go wrong with a thank you. Even if it's only a couple of sentences.

Thanks for the advice...i actually wrote back thanking her after first invite, and letting her know I'd be a couple of minutes late due to another meeting. I'm not sure if the COb period is over, so it may be weird sending that email.

I know this may be confidential, but how often does a chapter meet during a recruitment period? Would I be brought up at the weekly meeting?

Also, is one usually notified of a decision regardless of whether they receive a bid?

Not the answer you want, but I'm going to say that every chapter is probably different on both those issues.

Thank you all again for your helpful advice! I figured some of those questions may have had confidential answers.

Well, it's sunday and I haven't heard back since the last event on Friday. I was thinking of sending a little thank you email anyway, but is that weird considering it's two days afterward? Does the lack of further correspondance mean anything?

Sorry to keep bothering you guys, but you all are so helpful!

I wouldn't worry about not hearing anything as of yet, especially since it's a weekend and everyone else has a lot of other stuff going on... the sisters may not be around to update you on future events.

I think if you still wanted to send a note it would be okay, especially if you were just like "Oh, sorry this is a little late in getting to you but I just wanted to let you all know how much I appreciated the last event". I think they would appreciate the gesture, even if it's been a few days.

You asked earlier about how you would know if you got a bid or not...at least at some schools/sororities they only contact you if you receive a bid. So don't worry about the length of time that passes, they still may be in the process of COBing. Sometimes girls don't even find out that they didn't get a bid from informal recruitment (another term for COB) until they see new members walking around in the bid day shirts. So in your case, no news is really good news.

Oh and don't EVEN worry about "bothering" us. I think all the girls here remember how it felt to be in your shoes. I know it was hard for me because at least in formal recruitment you knew WHEN you would find out if you got a bid or not. With informal recruitment, you have no idea. It can be nervewracking! But please don't worry about asking questions, I know I really appreciated having people to talk to about the whole process. :D I really do hope for the best for you!

Just got another invite!!!:) Guess I was just being paranoid-thanks again greekchatters for all the advice.

I can't make the event though, and they said it was the last one. I guess I'll just send an email I have a conflict, but thank you anyway.

If you are interested in the sorority, definitely try to personally "regret with interest" if at all possible. As in "Thank you so much for the invitation. I would love to attend, but unfortunately I have to attend a guest lecture/be at practice/go to class/work that night/ect." This lets them know you are interested and not just blowing them off. Perhaps you would be able to leave early or get there late due to your other commitment? Good luck.

Yes, if you are interested, I would definitely let them know that. You don't want them thinking you have had enough of them so are turning down the invite because you don't want to pursure membership.

Good luck!

ditto. let them know that you would really like to attend, but have a conflict and can't. they will appreciate your honesty and might even try to do something else with you since you can't make the event.

I'm guessing that she got a bid since the signature in her name has changed to greek letters.

Congratulations!! :)

Um... I think that she has always had the letters in her signature, so I don't think that is the sorority that she is thinking of joining...

Edited to add: based on my "google"ing, Phi Sigma Pi is an honor society

:confused: I'm confused? The greek letters I see in her sig are the same ones that have been there for awhile (Phi Sigma Pi) which I believe is an honorary GLO.

The letters have always been there and they are for a co-ed honor fraternity. So, I think she still hasn't heard from the sorority.

By the way the LisAlly nice to call you a brother in PSP!

Sorry they weren't showing up for me before :(

But good luck to you LisAlly!

Well, tonight was the end of their open rush period. Thanks again to you all for your advice; I'll let you know if and when I hear anything. Wish me luck!


(Phigirl-always nice to see another bro out there :) )

Well good luck and let us know either way!!