Normal Fraternity in 3000 person Greek System w/o BIADS?
 

Hi-

Recently my fraternity has been told that we should not being doing biads or any other type of "party" with other houses because of the liability and possible danger it places with us of being with another house in a situation prone to problems (we aren't a dry house). While we've only been a chapter for about 6 months now and were a colony for about a year and a half before that. About a third of our members do not drink, and more than half could care less about partying, furthermore, we a significant amount of members over this issue last spring. Since that time, I've organized three different biads (after we chartered) and all have went fine. Nonetheless, I was told last night in an RM presentation by our BOG Pres., and with an e-mail I received this morning that we need to avoid these type of events and be more "creative."

My problem with this is, in our 3000 person greek system there are no fraternities who are socially accepted, who are dry and/or do not put on biads with other houses. Consequently, I fear that not participating in these events will in many ways make my house the outcast of the Greek system, thereby hindering its performance and viability. What are everyone's thoughts on this?

Joel

What is a biad?

-Rudey

Okay, random question to find out more. Is it your nationals or the school, that wants you to stop hosting parties?

If it is the school, could you set up an agreement with them, that you'll have security to check IDs (to curb underage drinking) and also use only third party vendors. So as to prevent any incidents.

If it is your nationals, get a copy of the policy, and follow it. See if they will allow parties if they follow specific guidelines.

Also, just because you can't have alcohol, you can't host dry events that can be just as fun. Just a little advice until I know the situation a little better.

BIAD is a fraternity "party" between 2 fraternities. Triads and Quadads are also common on are campus.

The push for this is coming from Board of Governors President, who also happens to be President of the Alumni IFC. We are on the West Coast so Nationals doesn't say too much to us (like all the other houses in our system) In many ways, our house is the "pet house" for him and the IFC advisor, to use as a model to reform our Greek system.

One more thing, we use wristbands to differentiate between under and over 21. Nonetheless, alcohol is served to all by and large, though we don't use chapter funds for booze (which is the norm in the Greek System here, so is serving minors).

Sausage fest?

-33
--Just relax Rudey, I got this one

LOL good because I think I'm more confused right now than anything else.

-Rudey

Oh My God...I'm so glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read this, because it would have been all over my monitor!!

I heart Sheila!!!

we dont really do them on my campus, but i have gone to biads and triads on the east coast. And trust me, there pretty fun. I mean if you have two or three of your favorite sororities come to your party, think how many girls would come if there where three houses throwing it. Plus its a great chance for your chapter to establish relations with a sorority that you other wise dont really party with. . .the guy2 girl ratio is still pretty good.

Re: Normal Fraternity in 3000 person Greek System w/o BIADS?
 

Did your vocabulary come from a really old Brittish movie? My guess is you use too big of words and the other houses are offended because they do not understand.

-Jess
-Never use an augmetitive word where a diminutive one will suffice.

P.S. - I can't believe I'm commenting on someone whose grammar is TOO perfect!!!;) ;)

Re: Normal Fraternity in 3000 person Greek System w/o BIADS?
 

OK Onto your point.

I have no idea what house you are in but if your national or regional officers are telling you that you can't do it, then you can't do it.

Whether or not you like it or what anyone else thinks doesn't matter.

-Rudey
--And I trust my brothers not your brothers, so I have no idea why any fraternity is willing to take a risk of throwing a party together with another house.

I feel that if your brothers don't care to drink or don't, try to find other stuff to do to be social. There was a colony on our campus who founded themselves based ont he fact that they were a dry group. The sororities loved hanging out with them. We did stuff like bowling and board game nights, etc. Pot luck dinners always rock. For me, it was an opportunity to actually get to know the guys and see them as more than just drunk assholes who are trying to get up on me.

I encourage you to try it. But also, if someone higher up tells you not to do it, listening is probably a good idea. It is only so long until you get caught. I don't feel its worth it, especially fro a group who don't need to drink to ahve a good time.

To me it sounds like this is coming from the school. And if you are the only group they are given this ultimatum to, there must be more to the story. So, I'm just wondering, why they are choosing your chapter to make an example of.

Here are my reactions when reading this (in no particular order):
[list=1][*]Someone (whomever is telling you to stop) has noticed that you are doing "biads" (what an odd word to me!) with groups who aren't following policies and/or who are engaging in dangerous behavior.[*]Doing biads with groups who aren't following policies or who are being dangerous greatly expand your liability, especially if you know that they are doing something wrong and don't remove yourself from the situation or refuse to participate.[*]You never said how the alcohol gets to these "biads". You mentioned that chapter funds aren't being used, but what if one member takes a collection (or doesn't have to pay dues) and uses the money to purchase the alcohol. If something happens, your group could be in trouble.[/list=1]

Red flags from your post:
It doesn't matter if you wristband those who are of legal age...if everyone is served alcohol regardless of age, you are violating the law and many other policies (school, HQ, FIPG, etc). If you are doing a biad with XYZ and the XYZ members are serving the alcohol to underage people, you too can be held responsible because you are allowing it to happen at an event you are co sponsoring.

YOU may not use chapter funds for alcohol, but if XYZ fraternity that you are co sponsoring the biad with does, you can still be held responsible for violating the policies because you are cosponsoring an event where the policies are being broken. Not to mention that there's no guarantee where if you give XYZ fraternity $100 to pay for "refreshments" they aren't using your money to buy the booze.

Those are just my initial reactions based on the information you gave us. Of course, I think you should do more than just parties that involve alcohol. Get creative and do some dry events like others have mentioned. Alcohol does not have to be present at every single social event you have. It also sounds like to me that someone might be trying to give you a gentle nudge in the right direction because they either see a trainwreck coming down the tracks or they've been hearing stories and want you to keep your nose clean.

If all else fails, sit down and have a good long discussion with these people...ask them exactly what's concerning them, and ask how your chapter can safely host a biad.

PsychTau

read and reread what psychtau wrote. it is good advice. whether your fraternity is being encouraged by your national organization or by your campus administration doesn't really matter. our fraternities and sororities are on campuses at the pleasure of the administration-if they are the ones suggesting that you try some dry events and lessen your chapters liability risk then you should. they could ban you from campus anytime they want.

if your national organization is making the suggestion, again, you should comply. you are a member of whatever fraternity you are at your national's pleasure. slip up, don't follow rules and your charter can be pulled. your liability is , in essence, your local advisors liability and the national organizations and its officers,too. a lawsuit can go up the chain of command. don't think that it can't.

ask some of the girls you pal around with for "dry event" ideas. poll the sororities on what kind of non-alcoholic socials they would like to have with your group. give a prize for the most creative and successful idea. fun can be had without alcohol. be the campus trendsetters,

A lot of people are reading way too much into this. I'm not sure what Greek system you guys are in, but underage drinking at frat parties is a NORM in ours, we have 16 sororities, 28 fraternities with 3000+ members in total. The sorority girls want wet events, I used to believe a lot didn't, not so. Most of the girls that join sororities here do so to party and be in the social elite, just like the guys who join the fraternities. Bottom line is in our greek system, life for both fraternities and sororities revolves around booze. While the sororities can't have booze, they just go to the frats to drink, I can honestly think of 1 sorority and 3 fraternities that don't necessarily fit this mold, and they are both outcasts, and from personal experience, I can say their members are odd.

I should also mention that my fraternity is not being singled out by our nationals or our campus. Instead we are probably one of the most moderate houses in our greek system when it comes to drinking. In most houses here, at least 3/4, usually more, of the members drink, most likely in excess. My house is being used as an example to help reform the system here, nonetheless, reforms must be gradual, otherwise they will be too large for people to buy into them. In a lot of ways, it's like the frog in boiling water story: If you put a frog in a pan of cold water and let it heat up he won't notice, won't fight, and will just fall asleep and die, whereas he would fight if he was thrown straight into a pan of hot water.

The problem is the current norm is for this stuff to happen and to some extent around here have open parties, a lot of fraternities still even use Kegs, which are banned by our IFC. My house will not do either, but we do want to be able to fit into this environment and not be the outcasts of the Greek system, and at this time this means occasionally having a party where alcohol is served to minors. I also should mention the police here even have said they tacitly accept underage drinking, and use the JACKASS rule when it comes to giving out MIPS.

I completely understand that this is stupid. But to get a social fraternity experience here right now, requires a substantial amount of alcohol.

Keep the conversation going, lots of good comments so far.

BIADS makes me think of band-aids or bisexual athletic directors

I keep reading this and still do not understand where You are coming from?

To many variables and How You stand with So Called National? Are You The Flag Ship School? If You are, you arent in any league that We know of.

No, the Question is not What Greek System We are in, all You have to do is read some of the Sigs and You will know!

Still not sure after rereading this angain some more Over and Over.

Your Fraternity Condones underage Drinking? It is acceptable on Your Campus? Where the Hell are You in Outer Space?;)

Your GLO is agreeable, sorry Dude, think Not!

What do You mean Your Fraternity is not single out By Your National. Who is it singled out By?

I'm sure your brothers across the country will love their increased insurance rates and the increased risk in a total shutdown of the entire national fraternity if a lawsuit were to occur.

They will understand if you tell them it's all for the girls.

-Rudey

I'm addressing your last post piece by piece cause it has a lot of info in it.


Maybe so, but we only have so much info to go on at this point. We aren't experiencing this like you are, so of course our responses may be a little skewed. It's just the nature of the communication we have going right now.


It's probably the norm in a lot of places, but it's killing our organizations slowly but surely. I remember what it is like being an undergrad...but there are certain things the organizations can do (and should do) in order to not only change that norm, but ensure that everyone stays safe.

That makes me sad. To me, that's saying that life for a college student revolves around booze, and while that is probably true in a lot of situations, it still saddens me. I'd love to see someone go against that norm. Not saying you have to totally abstain from alcohol, but it's depressing to me that a lot of college students these days can't build a close relationship with someone else and enjoy their company unless some form of alcohol is present. I've seen and heard of so many events where the guys get obliterated and pee/puke on themselves, and the girls are crying of embarassment and anger because their special event/senior year is ruined due to stupid drunk behavior (and vice versa)...makes you wonder why groups should even bother spending the money to host an elegant, formal event.

You should be proud that your group is being used as an example to change the norms!!! That means someone sees some leadership within your group.

Norms are VERY hard to change...they don't change overnight, they don't change after one tragedy (reference Chico and Colorado here, among others), and there is no immediate gratification involved. Therein lies the problem. People these days can't see 10, 20, 50 years down the road. They think that the one small action they do today won't affect the future, so they don't do it. They procrastinate change. GLO's say "Well, no one will catch on to the dry mixer idea, we'll be the only ones and it will be a waste of time, so let's just do the drunk biad this semester and we'll work on planning a dry event for next semester." People do the same thing about diets..."I'll start the diet tomorrow/next week, so pigging out on the all you can eat cake buffet today won't make much of a difference. I'm still overweight. I'll start eating right tomorrow."


FYI...99.9% of the National Groups have banned not only kegs but also open parties. Universities have banned kegs on their property as well. It's not just your IFC. I'm sure you already know that, though.

I think that if you guys want to challenge the status quo, just don't attend parties where the minors are served underage. When people ask why your group isn't there, tell them that you choose to live your values, and that includes personal integrity and abiding by what you agreed to abide by. Just say that matter of fact, without "judging" the other groups, and without talking about how everyone else will get in trouble for violating policy. It's a choice you made...that's it. Continue to be fine, upstanding, honorable gentlemen on campus who drink alcohol (if you choose) but don't get crazy with it, and lead quietly by example. Use a guest list for your events, and treat the people on those guest lists as the most special people in the world because they have the honor of attending one of your parties. If someone gets obilterated and acts horrible at your party, they aren't welcome back. Host fun, non alcoholic events...show that you guys can have a great time with MODERATE alcohol consumption (instead of going hog wild with it like some groups do). Do some catering and sweet talking to the women too. They control the fraternity social scene WAAAY more that you think they do.

Think of this from a marketing perspective...you don't want to be screaming at the top of your lungs "ALCOHOL IS BAD!!!! REPENT!!!!", but if you go about it quietly, without a fuss, you'll begin to get people's attention. Especially when the other groups start getting busted for alcohol violations and are suspended (which I STILL think there's a reason why people are nudging you towards not having biads with groups who don't follow the rules. I'll bet they see the trainwreck coming and don't want you guys to get caught in the middle. You may want to consider what they are saying as a big HINT.)

Once again, all of this is based solely on the information you've provided for us in this thread. Take what fits, leave the rest.

PsychTau

reading many of these recent responses makes me so proud of greeks standin up against the stereotype of greeks as alcoholics! the future of greek life is looking a little brighter.




Seems to me that the problem here is not in the soial aspect but as far back as recruiting...."Most of the girls that join sororities here do so to party and be in the social elite, just like the guys who join the fraternities" . Maybe someone should look into their chapter's and organizations history. We are to be taking members who are morally, academically, and civically superior.....thus this should not be an issue if we didn't recruit for numbers. Its unfortunate, but I know it is what many nationals focus on. Luckily, mine were different as my chapter had 8 members for a while. I'm sure we could have recruited using alcohol or the promise of kick ass parties and frat boys, but we chose to live up to the standards we took a vow to hold true to. And with following the rules and respecting our organization, we had the largest new member classes the last two semesters on our campus and will have 20 members at the end of the fall.

I urge you all who are ont eh right track to step up and speak up...a little louder. you got it.