Bouquet Toss
 

I have never been to a wedding where the bride hasn't had to plead and beg for her single girl friends to line up for the bouquet toss. Seems like this tradition is outdated. And then the garter being put on the toss winner-- painful to watch.

Thoughts?

A new thing I have been seeing is in lieu of the bouquet toss, there is a couples dance where one by one, you are asked to sit down depending on how long you have been together-- the couple who has been together the longest (usually the grandparents!) is left dancing and the woman is handed a bouquet.

Re: Bouquet Toss
 

I really like the couple dance and think it's a very nice alternative to a bouquet toss. :)

We did the bouquet toss at my wedding, but not the whole "garter being put on the toss winner" bit. The month before our wedding, we attended the wedding of one of DH's best friends. He threw the garter directly to DH since he knew our wedding was less than a month away, and the bride's sister caught the bouquet. DH had to put the garter on her leg, and the girl wasn't wearing any underwear! He got a view that he hadn't planned on getting. :eek: :eek: After that, we decided to forego the garter part at our own reception. ;)

I always see the garter land on the floor because no one wants it.

When I was little I caught the bouquet 5 or 6 times. There was always some woman who looked pissy because a kid caught it instead of her. :rolleyes:

These days, I'll paricipate but in it, but I don't ever try to catch it. I don't think it's stupid.... I just don't really care one way or the other.

I would have to disagree with it being the dumbest thing ever.... I think that prize goes to those weird people in the costumes with the big heads over in the dollar dance thread. :eek:

I wouldn't mind the bouquet toss as much if it wasn't for the garter toss. My parents, and the people at my table (all older) at a wedding I was at this summer tortured me for not going up. But when it came time for the put the garter on the leg thing, I simply said THAT'S why I don't want to do this.

I'm not a big fan of embarassing people, particularly guests, so I wouldn't subject anyone to that at my wedding.

At that wedding they also did the couples dance thing mentioned above, that was really nice.

At my sister's wedding, she aimed the bouquet my way, it was coming, and--my aunt pushed my arm down and grabbed the bouquet!:eek: (AGDAlum can guess which aunt.) And no one would believe she'd done it --they hadn't seen it and who would think an aunt would do that to her niece?

So the pictures came out and sure enough, there she was--shoving my arm down!:eek: LOL, vindicated!

I have a foolproof way to not catch the bouquet (my friends always make me go up there.) Just stand at the back of the group and then take one half step back. The only way u will catch it is if the bride has a super pitch. :D
I am a bridesmaid in one of my best friends weddings and I hope to once again get away with not catching the bouquet!

At the weddings I've been to (including my own), the bride usually aims for someone in particular. I made sure the little 6-year-old in the front row caught mine (and I think all my sorority sisters/cousins/etc... who participated were relieved).

Same for the groom--he aimed for his cousin. I'd never heard of the person who caught the garter putting it in the person who caught the bouquet.

At another sorority sister's wedding, a girl from my pledge class literally dove for the bouquet (knocking down a little cousin of the bride in the process).

We did the anniversary dance as well, but it wasn't connected with the bouquet/garter toss. It is a nice way to honor that couple, though.

We tossed the bouquet and garter, but didn't make them do the putting the garter on her leg thing. If a couple had caught both, we would have let them, but since two people who didn't know each other (and had significant others right there) caught them, we told the coordinator not to even think about it.

I've only been to one wedding where they did the bouquet toss. A five year old girl caught it. They didn't do the garter thing though. About a year or two ago, I read in a magazine that some brides are getting bouquets made out of glass flowers so that they don't have to toss them, and they can preserve their wedding bouquets forever.

Same here. I've never been to a wedding where they've done that. The garter toos, works exactly the same way. I don't think it's stupid. if it's some that's normal for your neck of the woods, then who cares.

This summer when I went to a wedding in Sudbury, they have this think called a sock dance. Apparently, it's where the oldest single girl dances around a pair of socks or something like that. I'd never heard of it, and I didn't quite get it, but it's a tradition up north.

Maybe I'm weird, but I kind of like the bouquet toss! I'm looking forward to getting married some day (hopefully within the next few years) and would probably have a more traditional (but westernized) ceremony and reception.

Hey guess what? I think the bouquet and garter tosses are both tacky, LOL. I'm sure that comes as a surprise to nobody.

I think almost all of the hoopla at wedding receptions is tacky -- receiving line, 900 scripted dances, introductions, making a big production out of cutting cake and especially shoving cake in faces (I've never seen that in person, but THE HORROR), tossing anything, having a head table, most toasts -- it's all lame.

I cross my fingers that one day when I get married that we can elope. All my girlfriends think it is weird... but hey I respect their decision to have big fancy weddings. No bouquets for me!!
I don't think its tacky to do those tradition... I do think it can embarrassing for the single person on the end of the tradition... but just like the cake in the face it is all in good fun!

I have the feeling that valkyrie will like this one:

When I planning my wedding, and COMPLETELY stressed out, my florist happened to mention a bride in Long Island (I don't know which part) who had warned her fiance NOT to shove the cake in her face. Well, you know men - tell them not to do something, and they consider it a dare.

Anyhow, the idiot groom shoved the cake in the bride's face, and she picked up the cake knife, stabbed and killed him! :eek: So, I turned to my then-fiance and said, "And let that be a lesson to you!"

In our wedding pictures, in the photos of the cake cutting, you could see me with a death grip on one of the cake knives - because I meant business!!

I've also been at bouquet tosses where:
-women have fought so hard for the bouquet that they ended up rolling under the head table;
-women needed stitches from scratching each other on the bouquet;
-one man had a black eye from trying to catch the garter.

It's one tradition that I can do without!!

I think it's become antiquated and simply enforces the idea that women are nobodies until they're married. Everybody is supposed to be so determined to be the next one to get married?

Every wedding I've been to has had the garter catcher put the garter on the bouquet catcher, usually to very risque music (like the Stripper) with hooting and hollering for him to put it higher and higher. I'm not comfortable with it and therefore have always avoided catching the bouquet. I've had cousins fight over the bouquet though and injure themselves.

Smashing cake in each other's face is the other thing I don't like. You just vowed to honor, respect, love and cherish this person and you finish off the night with smashing cake in their face? You paid how much for that dress and tux to have it get frosting all over it? You paid how much to have your make up done that morning? You spend major time and money to ensure that you look your best that day only to have cake all over your face? I just don't get it.

Dee

I got a black eye cause of the last bouquet toss. Usually, I stand in the back. But it was my best friend, and she asked nicely before hand that I participate. So I did. And she throws it right for me. And I get lunged at by about 5 desperete women. As I was asking the bartender for another drink and some ice in a cup, I remembered why I don't like to participate.

Its a silly tradition and I don't plan to have it at my hypothetical wedding. But since I've never caught a bouquet, I guess I'm never getting married.

Honey you scare me.

I plan on tossing the bouquet at my wedding, and my sweetie can toss the garter. Never heard about the guy putting the garter on the bouquet girl though. :confused: That ain't happenin.

I mentioned in another thread that I tossed my bouquet, but we didn't do the garter thing.

Had I known about the longest couple contest thingy (aww!), I would've done that - it sounds really sweet.

...though the woman who caught my bouquet DID end up getting married less than a year after my wedding. ;)

Whoa, HC, that's a little scary!

My sorority sister who caught my bouquet ended up breaking up with her boyfriend a few months later :( Oops!

At my wedding, my father-in-law's girlfriend (a woman in her mid-fifties) knocked people out of the way to catch the bouquet. Thanks to my photographer, we have some lovely actions shots of it. She looks like a maniac with her arm clotheslining my grandmother and great-aunt to keep them away from the flowers. :eek:

My father-in-law caught the garter, and then spent the rest of the night wearing it around his head like a sweatband. :rolleyes:

I have tacky in-laws.

I certainly didn't mean to scare anyone, and it was somewhat of a joke. I would not have used the knife - but I wanted to make sure that he didn't get any cutesy ideas, either.

As long as your husband is normal, then I think you're ok. ;)

But yeah, that does sound just a wee bit.... :eek:

Yes, I consider myself lucky that DH doesn't seem to have inherited any of his family's quirks. :)

I like the bouquet toss, I normally run from it and then laugh at my sorority sisters try and maul each other for it.

Always hated having to stand there while it happened, so no way was I doing it at my own wedding! Hate the garter, too. I'm always so embarassed for the couple, the parents, everyong when the husband's head goes under the dress! :rolleyes:

My friend did the anniversary dance at her wedding last week. It was nice, but people didn't understand how to do it right and the dj was no help, so it was sorta dumb.

I figured, in the time it takes for bouquets and garters I can dance to least one actually fun song, so I didn't do them.

Re: Bouquet Toss
 

We did the bouquet toss, but no garter. After the bouquet toss, everyone just went back to dancing. We did all the rest of the stuff though (cake cutting, receiving line, etc.).

For me it's like anything else - your wedding you do what you want, and you don't judge how others conduct their weddings/receptions.

I have actually caught three wedding bouquets...all for the sake of "winning." I'm a tad competitive. ;) No black eyes, stiches, or injured six year old cousins in any of them. The first two were at family/friend weddings, and the garter was not put on the bouquet catcher. There was no tradition other than, you caught it. Whoo hoo! Go you!! I think I may have danced with the guy who caught the garter for like 15 seconds both times, but nothing really memorable. The third was where I learned about other traditions...

I moved and attended a wedding of a new friend of mine. I mentioned earlier to another friend that I'd catch the bouquet, and she said, "You can have it! I sure don't want it." I did indeed catch it with little effort since it landed in front of me (much to the chagrin of the bride's brother's girlfriend... aka:"Miss if I wear the same style and color of dress and hairstyle as your bridesmaids, are you sure that you still don't want me to be one??") I sat down pleased because I had caught my friend's bouquet. My friends at the table started chuckling and saying, oh what a shame for you. Huh? Don't I get to sit here and be happy? The garter was tossed, all the guys stepped back, and the brother of the bride was handed the garter. I was told to come back up the front. I looked blank and my friends started laughing. That's when I was introduced to the garter traditions complete with Stripper music. SUPER! :rolleyes: Needless to say, Miss Disgrunted (who now had a reason to be) was furious with me, and I was embarassed. I later asked the bride if she had wanted the girlfriend to have it and if I had messed it up. I was given a resounding NO! Apparently dressing up as a bridesmaid when you're not one doesn't win you points with the bride.

Long story short: my wedding = bouquet yes, garter NO!

At our wedding I didn't wear a garter, didn't even get one to wear. My boquet is hanging upside down in our basement dried out and still looking great. Most of our guests were married so it just made no sense to do it.







3 More days until our 1st Anniversary 10/16/05!! :D