Weddings - Dollar Dance
 

On the wedding message board that I'm on quite a bit, a raging debate happens whenever someone mentions the "dollar dance." Some people think it's beyond tacky and others think it's great.

Just wondering what people on GC thought of the "dollar dance" (where guests pay a dollar to dance with the bride or groom at the reception).

Never heard of the "dollar dance" before, but it sounds tacky to me. Maybe there is some tradition behind it that I'm missing?

I think it's very tacky. Never liked it at all and if I ever get married, I will not be doing it.

(Some of the weddings I've been to where they've done it...you only pay a dollar to dance with the bride, the groom is not a part of it.)

I never heard of the dollar dance until I saw it described on alt.wedding - I lurked there when I was planning my wedding a few years ago.

IMO, it's tacky, because it constitutes asking for money/gifts. The bride and groom and their families should not give the appearance of asking for money or gifts. It's one of those weird unwritten rules... you can't give the appearance of asking for a gift, yet your guests "know" they should give one. No, it doesn't make sense. :p

Ugh.

The last thing I want when I get married is for future Mr 33's gross uncle to grope me while we're dancing for a dollar.

It usually includes a shot, too. If people want to give me a dollar and do a shot w/ me I don't have a problem with that. :D

I don't mind dollar dances... you're there to wish the couple well and this gives them a little extra cash with which to start their lives together. Although I feel bad giving just a dollar. How much does everyone usually give?

I went to a wedding a couple weeks ago where you got a shot when you paid your money and then you danced with either the bride or groom.

And the DJ at the wedding I was at this weekend called it an apron dance. The maid of honor was supposed to wear an apron and the guests stuff the money in the apron.

Beyond Tacky.

As if weddings weren't already self-indulgent enough, couples have to go in and add another level of "Look at Me!"

Why not just have the bride do a pole dance for dollars?

Both of my best friends did them at their weddings recently (And have also been done at pretty much every wedding I've ever been to). I see nothing wrong with them. If you don't want to give them money, just don't do it.

The ones I've seen also had both the bride and groom doing it. I just gave a buck each time (cause I'm a poor 20-something), but I saw the grandparents and older guests giving as much as $50.

I think people worry too much about it. It's just fun.

My understanding is that the dollar dance is quite common in some cultures. However, I think it is just about the tackiest thing I've ever seen at a wedding.

I attended a wedding once where people actually PINNED the money to the bride's dress. But then, that same wedding featured an appearance by "Those Funny Little People" -- let me tell you, it was horrifying. I had to leave the room for a while.

http://pic12.picturetrail.com/VOL433.../113200255.jpg

Most of the local weddings that I've been to, and those in the Midwest in certain cultures, have the dollar dance. I was even at one where the bride used an apron that was something like 4 generations old. I didn't have it at my wedding, and the only time I participated was at the wedding of a dear friend, when you could dance with the bride OR groom.

Otherwise, I find it tacky.

What in the world is this?!? :eek:

I thought the dollar/money dance was when people pinned money on the bride and groom to wish them well in married life.

Most people these days don't actually pin it to them anymore. Would you want someone pinning anything to your $1000 wedding gown? :eek: Other than that, I think you are generally right.

I find dollar dances to be incredibly tacky. If you can't afford such a big wedding and/or honeymoon, you shouldn't have planned such an extravagant affair.

I don't know if it's the fact that I grew up in Texas or what.... But I just honestly don't find them tacky. I don't look at it as them saying, "We spent too much on our wedding, give us money." Not at all. I just see it as fun. Why the big deal?

Again, if you don't want to participate.... just don't. I promise they won't be upset. (If they are then they have bigger problems.)

They're, um, entertainment. They advertise quite a bit in the Chicago area, but I only had the misfortune of seeing them once. People dress up in these weird-ass people-with-gigantic-heads suits and sing and dance. We were eating dinner when they came in to do their routine, and I guess we were supposed to act like we thought it was cute and funny. WTF.

Dollar dances (with both the bride and the groom) are very common in our area/social circle. Most of the family/friends' weddings we've been to have the dollar dance, and the guests usually have a lot of fun with it; I went to one where the groom's brothers kept trying to up each other on the amount they gave to dance with the bride. It can be nice because sometimes, that's the only chance you may have to talk to some people one-on-one.

If I am a guest at a wedding and don't know the groom well, I won't do the dollar dance.

We had one at our wedding. People probably would have been surprised if we had not had one.

Ahhh...I remember those debates on Ultimate Wedding, The Knot and Wedding channel message boards. Boy the claws do come out! :D

I find it hella tacky but that is just me

Needless to say, we did NOT do this at our wedding

Are you KIDDING?!?!?!? That would NOT be at my wedding. Ok, no matter what you think of dollar dances..... THAT is tacky. :)

Hmm, maybe guests could pay a dollar to dance with the people in the "weird-ass people-with-gigantic-heads suits"? Would that be tacky?

:p

LOL. I think I would rather pay them to LEAVE and never come back!!! :)

I think they're tacky. If people want to give you $, they'll give it to you as a gift.

Why do people have to make it sound like such a bad thing? The dollar dance does not make the bride or groom a "5 cent whore". Damn.

It is not about "needing money". Why can't people just relax and have fun? Stop being so judgemental over what other people choose to do at their weddings. If you don't like it, don't do it at your wedding. It's as simple as that.

It's just another thing that may be perfectly common in one place, and thought of as tacky in another.

I do not think they are tacky.

Can we have another thread about how tossing the bouquet makes girls look desperate? :rolleyes:

Dude, the point of this thread is for people to express their thoughts on the dollar dance. Many people find it tacky. If you don't, cool, but it's not really fair to hate on others for expressing opinions.

I think saying that the dollar dance makes someone look like a 5 cent whore is a little bit excessive. If I were ISUKappa, I would have been offended by that comment.

Um, hi. Thanks for essentially calling me a whore.

It doesn't bother me that you think it's tacky. I'm sure there were people who attended my wedding who thought it was tacky. But it is commonplace and tradition in our area. (In case anyone was wondering, I come from a solidly middle/upper middle class family and the majority of our friends/family come from a similar socioeconomic background.) I'm sure that more people would think it's tacky that we also **insertfaceofhorrorhere** had a cash bar (beer and wine were hosted, mixed drinks were not). I don't care about that either. All that mattered is we were able to have the wedding we wanted, on the budget we planned and every single guest that attended said they had a great time (those that can remember it, anyway). Two years later people are still talking about how much fun they had at our wedding.

Did I think it was tacky the wife of one of my husband's coworkers wore white platform sneakers for her wedding shoes? Hell yes, but I would never say that to her. It was what she wanted for her wedding, who am I to tell her that's wrong.

PS - I'm at least a $2 whore. :p

Never heard of a dollar dance. One of my coworkers had a money dance at her's. The bride and groom danced with each other and people stuff money in pockets, the jacket and down her dress. (Yeah I dunno about that.) And it was for any amount.

I dunno how I'd feel about some of my crazy relatives stuffing money down my dress...

But she made it sound like a tradition.

LOL on the platform sneakers.

And you guys, I think ariesrising's post was supposed to be a joke.


On the whole, I think it's tacky, but if it's traditional in your area it will probably not be perceived as "tacky," and that should matter more than what people on GC decide.

Besides, I think a lot of things are tacky. I think that a cookie table would be tacky, but those Pittsburgh kids sure seem to love it. ;)

Seriously, nice post!!! Thanks. :)

It's only tacky if you buy the cookies from Giant Eagle instead of baking them. That gets you exiled to, like, Delmont.

My mom & family insist that I have one b/c it's tradition in our culture do have the money dance where both the bride & groom participate.
His mom thinks it's insulting & tacky that we ask for extra money. (We're different cultures & religions btw)

I agree with his mom but have bowed to my family on having one b/c I have many relatives coming & they are already telling me that they are excited to give us all this money for us to start our new lives together. I figure that it's 10 minutes out of my wedding that won't hurt me. If his side doesn't want to participate, it's completely optional & they are more than welcome to sit back eat, drink free booze, & not dance w/me or him.
The way it works cultural wise is that since these people are giving you gifts of money during the dance, if and when you get invited to a wedding they throw, you reciprocate by giving them money. It all works out.

F.Y.I. In our culture, it's very common for the bride & groom to receive upwards of $3000+ in cash gifts from these dances. That alone would be incentive enough for some people to have these dances but for me, I'm doing it to get a chance to dance & talk w/relatives I otherwise wouldn't get to spend much time with b/c you're busy during the wedding.

Before reading the whole thread, I would have said "tacky." But it sounds like it can be done tastefully with tradition in mind, so I'll change that to "it depends." :p

Having the groom go for the garter with the DJ playing "The Stripper" for background music would still rate "tacky" though.

But don't go by me... the girl who caught my bouquet lost the top of her strapless dress in the process. The wedding may have been in Louisiana, but I didn't want it to turn into Mardi Gras! *sigh*

Wouldn't it just be easier to slip the cash in a card and put it in a mailbox of some sort on the gift table? You still get to dance with who you want. It's more discreet.

I've been to weddings with the dollar dance. It's still tacky to me. Live and let live.

The dancing bobble head people at a reception I have yet to see.

No. Nono no nononononononononono.

For some reason this is an acceptable thing to do in the midwest. If you want to give me money, you can put it in the card. M

My boyfriend hates this too - basically we figure we didn't go to professional school to have people throw money at us.

See, I'm from the midwest and only saw a dollar dance once. Chicago must be different -- we don't have cash bars either.

I have a particular theory on what cultures it has invaded. I am glad at moments like dollar dances and cash bars that my mom is a FIB.

LOL. In terms the weddings of close family members I've attended, I can say that at least in my family, most of those old wedding traditions are no longer traditional.

Oh my! :)

Everytime I hear dollar dance, I think of something else. See, all this is so brand new to me.

Maybe it's just the Filipino culture (and its Hispanic roots), but usually after the bride and groom's first dance, people line up with bills and place the money in either the bride or groom's mouth and then he/she passes it on to the other person by mouth. The second person then spits (for lack of a better word) it out and someone collects the money off the ground. People often get creative...placing the cash on the groom's neck, the bride's cleavage, etc etc. For hygenic purposes obviously more and more brides and grooms insist on putting the cash in little baggies that they provide to their guests before giving them the cash.

Filipinos call it Pasipit. It's tradition -- not a "OMG GIVE US MORE MONEY" THING. You can't go to a Filipino wedding without having it.

Thank You OTW! That's exactly how it is for Mexicans. You can't have a Mexican wedding without it. Though I'm not marrying a Mexican, it is still my cultures tradion. I'm not one to spit on tradition so I figure it won't kill me to do it.