Boyfriends and Crushes
 

Completely random topic but I need some input on this....

I've been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years and we're talking about marriage and proposals and all that jazz for after I graduate in May. We like kind of far apart so we don't see each other all that often but when we do it's awesome. Now comes the bad part...I have a bunch of classes with this guy that I really think I have a crush on. I would NEVER cheat on my boyfriend but I'm just really wondering if it's normal to have these crush feelings for another guy or should it be a sign that my boyfriend and I aren't ready for the next step??

Crushes are completely normal. Now if you find yourself blowing off a visit from your boyfriend because crushboy asks you to study, that's another story and maybe you aren't ready for a commitment.

Physical attraction is a normal part of being human. I think people assume that when they find "the one" they will simply stop being attracted to members of the opposite sex, but that just isn't so. New people are always going to be interesting, and attractive people are always going to make your heart flutter, your palms sweaty or your cheeks flush.

As 33 said, the problem comes in when you act on those desires and feelings.

i need help
 

i know it's a bit out of subject but pleaaaase could sb speaking greek contact me? lucia__@centrum.sk it's extremely important for me

ya, like 33 and AXiD670 said, it is normal to have a little crush on someone, because you are human, it is once you want to or actually do act on those feelings where you get in trouble.
sometimes its fun to have a school girl crush, that rush of adrenaline when you see them :)
I have a crush on the soux chef at the restaurant i work at... he's so not my type... bald and pale but god... the way he cooks a steak or preps the food... it gets me all hot and bothered lol
moral of the story is... have fun with it but you know where your loyalty is :)

Something tells me that OP is either married or broken up by now...

You might be what Imus would refer to as a Ho. I don't know for sure though.

-Rudey

Check the dates on the thread...

I know the date on the thread is old, but I just have to say...

I'm happily married. I adore my husband and am completely loyal to him. He is my best friend and also quite a hottie (in my completely biased opinion ;) ).

That said, I have a huge (innocent) crush on a guy from his softball team. He is just too adorable. (And a police officer too, though I've never had the opportunity to see him in uniform.) My husband knows though - he cracks jokes to me about it. (Ex - when we happened to be driving through his neighborhood to visit family who lives in the same area, my husband pointed and said "hey, there's your boyfriend's house." Or if we're going out with a group of friends, he'll tell me "your boyfriend's going to be there.") Obviously my husband is a very good sport, and we are very secure in our relationship.

Developing an attraction to someone else is normal and isn't necessarily a bad thing. Its what you do (or should I say "don't do") about the attraction that matters. :)

This is not a criticism, just a question. But would you be as good a sport if the roles were reversed?

I have a crush on a personal trainer at Gold's Gym by my house... Rippling muscles. He's so sexy... But, I am trying to set him up with a friend who I think he'd like.

My husband seems ignore it. I think it makes him a little anxious. But I don't really flirt--that much...

If the roles were reversed, homegirl would have to blow me outta the water. Because I am like a "Maybach" and I would be pissed if he dumped me for a cracky whore is like a Pinto with an anti-theft device in South Central LA.

If he wanted the bootlegged crap, then hey, he can have her...

Old and busted vs. "New Hottness"?

Believe me - I know all the women he thinks are hot. (Whether celebrity ladies or people we actually know in real life.)

The wife of another couple we are good friends with has a huge crush on my husband. A few of us were going to photoshop a picture for her with my husband's face and some hunky stud's body and give it to her as a gag gift for Christmas one year. But my husband put a stop to that - he's a little too modest to want a half-naked photo of him floating around out there (even if it was photoshopped).

is really is impossible to think someone is unattractive when they really are hott... but that doesnt mean you think anything less of your boo. and if you want to talk to him, but you really dont want to cheat, it's bc you want some attention. i mean, 2 1/2 years.. you proabably have only "accepted" attention from your bf, but its a nice ego boost to get it from someone you think is hott. dont sweat it, it could also be your hearing the shackles of marriage.lol.

I don't think you have a crush on the guy. You're just looking at how cute he is. Nothing wrong that. Hey, you're not acting on it.

do you imagine yourself being that dude's girlfriend? if so then you have a crush....if you have a crush on someone else, you may want to rethink engagement

OP = 2005

Yeah...

Just because you're on a diet, doesn't mean you can't look at the menu...

What would you do if the person you had a crush on (assume both of you are single and the person can return your love) also has a lot of other people crushing on him or her? Should you even bother pursuing the person? Or are you setting yourself up for heartache?

Yes, clearly if something is desirable to others, you should give up on it

I dunno. That's such a good question. It's hard to tell, I guess that's where trust comes into the picture. My X was really cute and a lot of girls liked him and he cheated on me with one of them, so I just think for me it would depend on the guy. Generally if I think a guy's cute, then I know other women will too, so I'll just take my chances, because I wouldn't wanna be with a guy that wasn't cute.

Thats just silly.

ITs like saying you should find the most busted up person with some annoying personality disorder to date, just so you can feel safe because no other sane, non-busted-up, non-angst-ridden human being would ever want them.

Someone shouldn't be with you just because they have no other choice. It doesn't say much about them and it certainly doesn't say much about those that pick their mates that way.

10 points for James :p

Sadly, I have been told that about a person's looks (NOT personality or inner qualities). That it was good if he was ugly because that way nobody would want to steal him away from you. I understand where the persons were coming from- one had faced adultery, the other ones were close to the person who had been cheated on, so they wanted to make sure that there were no opportunities for the person to stray- but that is still not right.

I am glad they have changed their minds.

And I am not concerned about "ruining the friendship", since after all, he does not even live in my town and we only see each other a few times a year (though we talk online much more often than that).

TY WEBB: Do you do drugs, Danny?
DANNY NOONAN: Every day, sir.

So what if other people like them? If you want him/her, put yourself out there.

I have never understood the point to that kind of rational.......

I'm glad you're encouraging me to follow my heart. You don't even know me, and you are already much more confident in me than what some people were back then before I blossomed into a beautiful swan.

You are tooo much!!:D :D :D :D Oh please believe I agree!

Even if you went to go get the most busted faced person on earth someone still saw something in them, maybe not their looks, but I have seen (which I am sure we all have) people who look far less than attractive in relationships and quite possibly they cheat too. Just like you (the general you) saw something in that person, dosent meant no one else will!!! The guy I am involved with is quite attractive, and other people think he is also, but that dosent mean I am going to tuck my tail and hide.

You are funny!;)

This is true - there are no easy answers. One could argue that an extremely good-looking person may have more opportunities/temptations to cheat. But one could also argue the danger of assuming that a less-attractive person would be less likely to stray - perhaps that less-attractive person would have confidence issues and/or not as much experience with the opposite sex, so they would feel the need to jump at any opportunity that comes his/her way...they may feel like they need to "prove something" and wouldn't want to pass on any prospects.

Its better to make your assessment on the character of the individual person involved, rather than try to lump "good looking" and "less-attractive" people into broad categories.

I wasn't doing that, I was simply responding to the post, but I do understand what you mean.

Oh definitely - I didn't mean to imply that you said that. More just a general statement. (In regard to the poster who mentioned she had been told to seek out "ugly" people because they were less likely to cheat - her friends are the ones who should have been looking at the character of the individual.)

Sorry for any misunderstanding!

^^^Gotcha;)