Why do many girls feel threatend by strip clubs and strippers?
 

I always wondered why many girls feel threatened by strip clubs?

I use the word threatened because the usual reaction is too strong for it to be a simple matter of not wanting to go there themselves.

There are several reasons why i believe you may feel threatened.

I always thought it was because collectively women decide social norms.

And that women also tend to be competitve among themselves for the attention of men.

I have also noticed that women try to keep other women under control socially with a narrow range of approved behaviors . . especially in regards with dealing with men sexually and romantically.

In fact women control other women almost like they do in Formal Rush . . they try to make it so no one has too much of a social advantage . . they will help women that are having lots of problems and tend to be catty towards women that have too much of an advantage.

So I always though strip bars represented a place where men could go that the normal rules of male/female sexuality were not only suspended, but totally out of the control of women that are constantly influencing each other about what is or is not acceptable.

Its a place of unbridled sensuality, or at least the illusion of such.

Anwyay, I'm just a guy. So you tell me, why are so many women threatened by strip clubs and strippers?

Eh, I don't consider myself threatened by strip clubs, but then, I'm not with a guy who goes to them.

Honestly, I really do not get the point of strip clubs. Do guys get turned on at them? If so, WTF is the point of getting all hot and bothered while out with your buddies? What do you do then? Are you all like "Yeah dude gotta go" and run to your car to rub one out before heading home? If they don't get turned on, what's the point? Is it just background entertainment? Something to do? A boost for fragile egos?

Pls. explain.

ETA: To try to answer your question, I think a lot of it has to do with two main factors: (1) women can be insecure, and (2) men can be kind of stupid.

I feel you hit the nail on the head. A lot of women try to express their hatred of strip clubs or celebs by claiming "they just don't like them". But I feel its an issue of being threatened. I think each of us feel threatened in our own way in different situations. And this is clearly one of them.

This is a great subject and I'd love to hear how so-called self-confident girls respond to this.

Theres boobs we havent seen yet there.

It's so we can see ...Please see the second part of my signature.


Well I do, but Jestor doesn't. But then again Jestor* wants to be a wedding planner.





I don't know :( ...you ask too many questions.

I think the typical line you will hear from alot of women is that strip clubs exploit women.... my opinion that is a load of crap. I have heard very few women tell the truth, the women who are threatened by strippers are insecure with themselves and scared their men will not want them anymore. Not many women will admit they are insecure though--so you hear excuses like it is sexist, exploits, etc.


ETA: I am pretty self confident--yes I have things I would change about myself--- but who cares about strip clubs--- if you have the body to work there, good for you--go exploit those men who are willing to shove cash into your g-string-more power to you! I have been to several strip clubs---yes their asses are smaller than mine- who cares. If the person I am with has an issue and wants to compare me and make me feel bad then he can screw off-- I don't need that. And I will say strip clubs can be entertaining. I have had bday parties there, had lots of fun and also have cocktail waitressed at a strip club too-- there is nothing wrong with them!

I am not threatened by strip clubs. I just don't see the point when the guy has ME in his life. ;) I've gone to them before. I know I am hotter. ;)

I'm from a different generation than a lot of posters here, but for most women in my generation, I would explain it this way:

We are not as casual about nudity and sexuality as men. We associate nudity and sexuality with emotional intimacy. We don't understand why or how men separate nudity and sexuality from emotional intimacy and probably don't really believe that they can (although they definitely do!). We are operating on different premises. Our premises:

1. Physical intimacy is associated with emotional intimacy.
2. Strippers are physically intimate with men.

Therefore, men who want to go strip clubs want to be emotionally intimate with the strippers. This threatens our relationship with the men. We want them to hold the same value in the sharing of physical intimacy that we do.

Conversely, if men CAN separate the physical intimacy from emotional intimacy, then the emotional intimacy we think we are expressing when are sexual with "our" men is actually meaningless to them.

That is also threatening to our relationship.

There are women who are able to make that separation and/or understand that men can make that separation but still recognize that physical intimacy combined with emotional intimacy is more special, but that physical intimacy in that limited capacity can be harmless and fun for men... but not many.

Dee

i dont understand it, but its good to respect people's shyness around nudity. I think in society today, if a girl isnt innocent, shes called a slut. So, there is this need to stay innocent. Its wrong, and we should all dance around naked, but that just isnt the way our society works

I am not threatened by strip clubs. I've gone to many of them as I have many friends who work in them. I see it as just any other typical bar. As long as my friends don't shove their chachachas in my face I'm all good. I don't mind spending $$$ there.

Yea but I don't want my man to be "physically intimate" with anyone else either..

I'm may be old-fashioned (I'm 20), but I don't think I'll ever understand why going to a strip club is so socially acceptable. :confused: But then, most of my many guy friends are what you would call the "nice guys".

What, are you going to come home from work and strip down bare nakked for me and bend over and let me see that pussy shake while wearing those stripper heels? I don't think so.



-Thats why I like strip clubs.

I'm not a frequent visitor (only been once, in Montreal), so maybe I'm not the best person to comment, but...

It just is what it is - a place to go with a bunch of the guys, just entertainment. I don't think anything has to be read too much into it.

I'll admit that when I was younger (like, before the age of 18ish), I was threatened by them. But, that was before I had been in one. I think it also was because I was insecure back then.

Insecure.......


All of you women out there that are using this word in relation to fears of strip clubs, stop lying. Why don't you all just say you thought you were fat or ugly in comparison to the women there until you actually saw some of those women. "Well I just felt insecure about my man going to those places" You didnt think you were hot enough and were afraid your man would meet someone hotter than you and dip out.


-The only women who don't fear strip clubs are the ones who know they have their man locked down or can find someone better should he decide to leave.

I don't feel offended by strip clubs. Hell, I've gone to strip clubs before.

I think the people who talk about insecurity on the part of women are probably right. I was seeing a guy not too long ago who was surprised when I told him that I didn't care if he went to watch the strippers, because his ex absolutely refused to let him go.

I kinda feel that if I'm dating someone, I should have enough trust in him that he's not going to do something stupid if he goes. Knowing that I am the one that he is going to come home to is enough for me.

Then again, I have never seen a strip club as a "hook-up" opportunity for guys... rather just entertainment.

No. I was just generally insecure with myself (you know, the whole awkward teenager thing)....and you can't be secure with your relationships until you've gotten your own issues squared away. When you're an insecure person, many irrational fears can be perceived as a threat.

And Cash...there is always someone hotter. ;) Different does not equal better.

Nope, not threatened by strip clubs at all.

He has been a few times with his buddy after he got divorced and while he was dating me (the buddy I mentioned in the "whipped" post). (We were living 2 hours apart).

I had no problem with it. I was like "ok cool, see ya! Have fun and don't be spending all your money!"

His buddy was amazed that I was cool with it.

As far as I am concerned, he can get his hunger pangs elsewhere...just as long as he comes home for dinner :D

He hasn't been to the strip club in years (since his bachelor party right before our wedding). If he were to go out with "whipped buddy", fine...no prob

I love this! Haha. :)

I have no issues with the husband going to strip clubs; I've even gone with him a few times (though the local establishments are far from classy and I have nothing to feel threatened about).

"Threatened" is a big word. Actually, I just think strip clubs are for guys, not men. The only males over 30 that you see there are pretty creepy.

Actually, I know a couple strippers and two former prostitutes. If you knew what actually went on (moneywise) in the sex industry, you'd better understand that these women are exploited! Obviously, the prostitutes more so than the strippers.

Quote:

Originally posted by cashmoney All of you women out there that are using this word in relation to fears of strip clubs, stop lying. Why don't you all just say you thought you were fat or ugly in comparison to the women there until you actually saw some of those women. "Well I just felt insecure about my man going to those places" You didnt think you were hot enough and were afraid your man would meet someone hotter than you and dip out.

ROTFL!!!!! Hardly!!!!

Very well put! lol :D

I think that a lot of the women who have never been to a strip club have a very misguided idea of what they're like.

I don't know any woman who's actually BEEN to a strip club who still is threatened by it. ;)

ummmmm...

-Rudey

Am I the only one here that looks at strippers as glorified prostitutes? I havent met one yet that wont come up off the ass for a little bit of cash.

No.

Well it's nice to admit that you have in fact bought prostitutes before.

You know me, I'm the prostitute king. :rolleyes: Seriously, though, every stripper I've met always talks about how all the other girls fuck for money but they themselves wont. Riiiight.

You couldn't afford her anyway. :p

Yeah I've heard this too but on some occasions, I actually believe them.

Bobby do girls feel threatened that your mom works in a strip club?

-Rudey

I wouldn't say I'm "threatened" by stripclubs...more like disgusted!

:)

maybe, maybe not. But I'm sure if you put in a good word for me she'd hook me up with a discount. :D

I don't have a problem if my boyfriend went to a strip club on rare, spur of the moment occasions with his buddies, as long as it wasn't just like him and one other guy going to get lap dances or whatever. I understand that groups of people will go after a night of drinking and it can be fun/funny. I've actually been to one, and it was an experience, but not one I'd like to repeat. I guess my problem would be that I would wonder what those girls could POSSIBLY offer my boyfriend that I can't. I mean... really. But all in all, if him and the boys wanted to head that way, I'd say have fun honey, and I'll do the same out with my girlfriends.

Do you walk around naked? Do you dance to terrible music, naked? Do you show nothing in the way of hang-ups about your sexuality? Do you request no sort of response back from him? Can he watch you with his friends, while drunk and joking around, with almost zero reprocussions? Do you provide the visual images that men entertain, without forcing in the emotional issues that men do not in any way associate with these visuals?

-RC
--You also offer things strippers don't. In fact, this is the very reason why there's no reason to even compare apples to oranges.

Very true... I think that's what I was going for, only you put it a lot better.

You make me laugh!!! :D Awesome post.

it's never bothered me. the only clubs i've been to were women strippers, never been to see the men, yet.

All times I was with a bf - heck once was even my bday and he bought me a tittie-shot - that was fun! Another time was with all his fraternity bros and travelling consultant :p

I've known both women strippers and men who bartend/dj at the rippers - none of the ppl i knew were exploited or exploited others....however one friend did quit because of a rough time with her boss (a cheat), and mostl had stories of women who were being used/abused. Esp immigrants, we've all heard stories like that..women brought over and don't know their rights.

So on the one hand i'm totally open to that sexually but on the other there is the fear that not all women are truly willing participants (and does this affect the way men view women in general? - most women would say yes, but in my experience, I don't see that, yet).

bump