Confessions Of A Mid20s' Rusher
 

When I was coming out of high school, I really wanted to be a Greek.

My first year of college was at the University of Minnesota and for some reason I didn't rush. To this day I don't know why. It likely turned out to be a good thing though, because U of MN was a bad fit for me overall, and after a frustrating year, I returned home to Wisconsin and began attending the University of Wisconsin-Parkside. Greek life there is so weak as to nearly be nonexistant, so I did not rush there.. that and the guys who I knew were Greek weren't the kind of guys I got along with very well.

Parkside also was a bad fit, so eventually I changed to a community college in my hometown of Racine. There, I finally got my act together and got my associate degree in Marketing. Needless to say, being a comm college, Greeks were nonexistant.

Back to Parkside for another year, where I put together two semesters on the Dean's List to restore my GPA to a 2.6. With my academic integrity restored, I decided to transfer to the University of Wyoming, a school I'd looked at in my senior year of high school before deciding to go closer to home.

Rush week for fraternities has started this week. Out of the four houses I visited last night, one I don't want to join because they don't have a house. Cool group of guys, but I want the fraternity house experience.

Another house, the guys and I meshed okay, but to my part, they seemed very arrogant and egotistical. Not the kind of situation I want to be involved with.

Third house, the guy who toured me around seemed cool and I'll admit to having liked the selectiveness of the fraternity. Furthermore, the ideals they were looking for (or so they said) were ones that I matched up with perfectly. So I went back to my dorm to get some cash for the buy-in of the poker night they were having, thinking okay, this is who I'm going to rush hardcore for. Went back and I was ignored entirely. It was like I wasn't even there.

So okay, no problem. The fourth house, I'd meshed really well and was quite conversational with the guys there during the 20 minute meeting, something that I'm not usually. So after leaving House #3, I went back to this fourth house and talked with some more of the members, some I'd met during the visit, others who were new to me. It's a house I have a really, really good feeling about and who will definitely be on my list of 3 prefs for Friday.

Tonight we tour the other four houses.

I have to admit though, I'm awfully nervous. I mean, here I am, I'm 26 years old and I'm rushing for the first time. Like I explained to the houses, creditswise I'm a senior, but because a lot of the credits were garbage ones and lower division, I'm here for at least another two years.

But then I've read on this board about how the fraternities favour underclassman over us relatively old goats. So I have to confess I'm a little worried that my age and time remaining might impact my chances, though as I say, I got on really well with the guys in that last-mentioned house. Being a transfer student I fear may affect the probability in a negative fashion as well.

Still, I hold out hope that the dream a starry-eyed 18-year old had and that still burns brightly on in this older and wiser 26-year old man may yet come to frutition... and that it will come to pass that I'll become Greek and fall in with a great bunch of guys that I get on real well with and have an absolute blast with.

Thanks for listening to the bleatings of this old goat. ;)

Where is Kitso right now???

If he reads this, he might be able to give you some good insight. I'm pretty sure he joined Sigma Nu during his 5th year of college.

I think you should point out that you will still be around for 2 more years. I think that will probably have more of an impact that your age.

Good luck! :)

Ironically Sigma Nu is one of the four houses scheduled to be visited tonight. :D

And yeah, I"ve been pointing out to all the houses that I've got at least two years left... so we'll see what happens. :)

And thanks for the luck!

From your other post, you have some very strong groups to choose from.

The only things I know about fraternity rush I learned from stories my ex-bf told. And they all had to do with drinking, parties and guys you could hang with. WAY more laid back than our process..........

But good luck!

Re: Confessions Of A Mid20s' Rusher
 

My ex-fiance rushed at 24 and got a bid from the fraternity he liked best... however, he ended up deciding not to go through with it because the guys in the house were mostly 18-21. As an older rusher, I don't think he experienced any discrimination (at least, not the level that a girl would have at UGA), but he found it hard to find a group that was at his maturity level when he was 6 years older than the people he would have been pledging with.

Good luck and have fun! I hope you find a house that fits you.

Re: Confessions Of A Mid20s' Rusher
 

If the guys like you, and feel you will be a good fit with the chapter, your age and class year should not be an issue.

The only issues that might work against you is if there is some sort of campus or chapter imposed quota/total system for the fraternities.

I am only aware of two campuses that had (have?) a limit to the number of pledges each fraternity chapter could take - Arkansas and Oklahoma. My understanding is that this was something similar to NPC rush where each chapter was only able to take a certain number of pledges during formal recruitment. Frankly, I'm not sure if either campus still limits the number.

The other issue is if a specific chapter has set a limit on the number of bids the chapter wants to extend. This is usually set internally and may not be made known or publicized.

If either of these scenarios apply at Wyoming, then a chapter may be *more likely* to extend a bid to an underclassmen. But again, not always. If you are a good fit, then your age and class year should not be an issue. And depending on the needs of the chapter, they might actually work to your advantage.

Best of luck.

If you get cut it won't be because of your age. I have heard of men in their forties getting bids, its rare but its more rare because men in their 40's usually don't come out . . .

Men don't have an upper limit of people we can take generally fraternities don't have to show preference to someone younger or in an earlier year . . the frat can take you both :)

If you are presentable looking, cool, with a youthful attitude you should have little to no problem.

Just be friendly.

good luck to you...

Thanks for all the support and encouragement guys and gals :)

So the second round of house touring was tonight.

I actually showed up two hours early because I got the time wrong and had to quit in the middle of my fantasy football draft, which irked me a bit, but it worked out okay because I went to the house I liked best from last night. They fed me supper and I hung out with them until it was time to do the second half of the house visits.

First house, cool bunch of guys, but because of some political issues that I later found out about tonight, a lot of their members quit. And no, I won't detail the issues because I don't feel this is the proper place for it. While I came to understand why, their presentation still bothered me. I know they need new blood, but they came across as being too desperate for new members and that was a huge turnoff for me.

Second house, easily the most beautiful on campus. I mean, we're talking I'd love to live in this house my whole life kind of beautiful, but the people there seemed a little stuck up and snobby, so that made me kinda meh.

Third house was obviously a fraternity that cared more about partying than anything else and gave short shrift to everything else. While I like partying, I want a well-rounded Greek experience, so thanks but no thanks.

Last house is situated away from the other fraternities and sororities. Not really what I wanted to be honest. I want to be at the centre of Greek life. Furthermore, the guys at that house were all pretty of a specific personality type that, while I get along pretty good with my friends who are of that type, they're fundamentally different from my own personality.

So after the visitations, I went back to the second house from tonight because the place was that damn beautiful that I felt myself compelled to go there and hang out. I did for about twenty minutes and chatted with some more guys. Then one of the sororities came by and filled the house, and I noticed something. All the girls stood around talking to each other and ignoring all the guys, who were making idle conversation and looking bored with each other while eyeing the girls.

At that point, I was like ".... 'kay, forget this. The sorority girls paired up with the fraternity I like best are a lot cooler and less gender-centric than this." (I'd noticed there seems to be an affiliation and correspondence with fraternities and sororities).

So back I go to my favourite house where they all greeted me again and I sat and listened to a couple guys in the house play guitar and sing. Then I joined in on the poker game that started up and learned two new variants of poker that I didn't know before. Even came out a buck ahead. :D

So yeah, my #1 frat from last night is even more clearly my top choice now and I put it on my preference form as my first selection. Number two was the gorgeous house fraternity. I couldn't help it, that's how much I loved the place. For my third choice, I just kind of closed my eyes and picked one at random, and it turned out to be House 4 from last night.

I'm feeling pretty good about my chances of getting into my first choice, because I seem to mesh really well with the guys there and most of them know my name by now, so there isn't that crack-slipping thing to worry about that I've heard about so far on here.

If I get a bid from them, I'll be ecstatic and accept right away. If I don't and get one from one or both of the other two, then I'll probably take most of the 72 hours before I decide, and really mull it over.

good for you....

Sounds like you are really putting a lot of thought into this - here's wishing you the best!

Wow, good luck. It's not very often that I'm impressed by a rush thread, but I am now. I hope it goes well for you.

I agree. You have put a lot of thought into the whole thing.

Good Luck!

Thanks again guys and gals :) I'm also pleased to hear that you guys are impressed with my rush thread.

And yes, I *have* put a lot of thought into this. My own mom, like some of the girls' mothers here, was a little leery of the fraternity thing as well because of the stereotypes associated with it, but has so far supported me in my rushing experience and has even been eager to hear updates on it. Dad doesn't have an opinion one way or the other I don't think, or at least he hasn't voiced it. ;)

Would I have put the same thought into it if I had rushed earlier in life? I don't know. I'd like to think I would have, but I've learned that as you get older, you get wiser, generally speaking. Besides which, as I think I mentioned earlier, without the life experiences that I've had since my first year (way back in '97-'98), I probably wouldn't have had a successful rush, due to being too shy and too socially inept.

So it all seems to be working out thus far. :)

Tonight is the male version of pref night. I honestly don't know for sure how that's going to break down precisely or even specifically what time it starts at. I'm going to go check the schedule when I hit the dining hall because the Greek recruitment teams have them as an advertisement insert at every table.

I do know that at 5, I'll be stopping by my first choice's event for the night.

So yeah, more updates later tonight. :D

But what are you wearing? That's what I want to know!

(Heh. Just kidding. This is one recruitment thread I'm actually following with interest.)

I hope things work out well for you - this is one of the best rush stories we've had in a while! :D

Good-luck to you! :) I hope everything goes well for you & that you get your hearts desire.

A good guy rush thread. I could get used to this! Unfrotunately he didn't give them cute names like the girls do (hint hint for future guy posters)

I think you are well prepared and a great catch for any of these houses. You are perceptive in many ways which will serve you well.

Good luck.

i hope you have a great night tonight! it is great to see rush from the male point of view.

Once more, thank you all soooo much for your comments. They reall mean a lot to me. :)

And I've decided now to dub the houses:

Butterfinger
Peanut Butter Cup
Peppermint Patty
Three Musketeers
Dark Chocolate Twix
M&M
Mentos
Butterscotch Disc

They're named after eight of my favourite candies. :D

To give a brief rundown of the houses thus far:

Butterfinger:
This is the fraternity doesn't have a house. Like I said, great bunch of guys, but to me the house experience is so integral to Greek life that I couldn't see myself being happy there at all.

Peanut Butter Cup
The fraternity with the most beautiful house on the campus, who seemed a little snobbish that had me sorta meh and who had the sorority girls over who only talked to each other.

Peppermint Patty:
Real nice batch of guys here, but too desperate for new members after political issues caused them to lose a bunch of guys.

Three Musketeers:
Party central who didn't pay much attention to the other aspects of Greek life, a huge knock in my preference rankings.

Dark Chocolate Twix:
My #1 choice fraternity and my favourite candy. The guys who have made me feel the most welcome all along and who I've felt the most comfortable with.

M&M:
Have their house away from campus and have a personality type that is pretty much the antithesis to mine.

Mentos:
The guys who were the real big snobs during my visit with them and who didn't sit well with me, even though we got on rather well.

Butterscotch Disc:
Loved the house and got on well with the guys until I went to join their poker game when I was ignored.

So people should be able to recognize the houses from the first two posts with those brief descriptions.

I'd also like to add that I visited every single fraternity tonight except for Butterfinger, because they don't have a house and I don't know that they had anything planned anywhere.

And I fear I may have screwed up with Dark Chocolate Twix.

But the full details of my visits to each house and how I think I erred will have to wait a bit, while I get some apple water and tell myself I'm just being paranoid by thinking I blew it.

So that makes Pepermint Patty the one where you thought they were overly pushy to get guys (due to some old politics)????

Thank you for pointing this out! And yes, that would be them. :) I edited the post to include them.

I have to admit it's nice to see a man's recruitment thread around here. Thanks for sharing.

PS--I love dark chocolate but haven't seen a dark chocolate Trix. Who sells these things?!! </OT>

They're limited edition, unfort. so they're hard to find. Walgreen's and K-Mart may be your best bets.

And share more I shall. :D

Peanut Butter Cup
The fraternity with the most beautiful house on the campus, who seemed a little snobbish that had me sorta meh and who had the sorority girls over who only talked to each other.

Peppermint Patty:
Real nice batch of guys here, but too desperate for new members after political issues caused them to lose a bunch of guys.

Three Musketeers:
Party central who didn't pay much attention to the other aspects of Greek life, a huge knock in my preference rankings.

Dark Chocolate Twix:
My #1 choice fraternity and my favourite candy. The guys who have made me feel the most welcome all along and who I've felt the most comfortable with.

M&M:
Have their house away from campus and have a personality type that is pretty much the antithesis to mine.

Mentos:
The guys who were the real big snobs during my visit with them and who didn't sit well with me, even though we got on rather well.

Butterscotch Disc:
Loved the house and got on well with the guys until I went to join their poker game when I was ignored.

So I started off the night at Dark Chocolate Twix at their pre-pref night event. Food was absolutely fantastic and I talked some to some of the guys and got my tail kicked at the game we played, since it was my first time playing that type of game. :D

Then I found out that the formal version of Pref Night was out the window and that it was basically a free for all. So I said hell with it and decided to take advantage by touring every house except Butterfinger again.

I stayed at Dark Chocolate Twix until they showed the video to their first batch of potential pledges and I got tears in my eyes when I watched it. That's how beautifully it was put together.

En route to my next house, I spent about 15 minutes talking to this Tri-Delta girl I've gotten to know some from one of my classes, comparing the sorority setup with the fraternity setup. She said that while recruitment for the sororities is a lot less informal than it was in the past, it's still quite strict. Also, because my university is only 4% Greek, they tend not to cut girls from all houses, or at least my T-D acquantaince had never heard of such happening there. We came up with the idea of doing a cross-country research project on rushes throughout the nation as well and seeing how different regions, states, campuses, and fraternities/sororities handle rush, how selective they are, etc.

Next up was Butterscotch Disc, where the really cool guide I had spotted me right away and greeted me. Told me to help myself to food, drinks, et. al. A few more guys besides him talked to me this go-round and I played a few games there, too. Overall, I felt a lot better about this house than I did after getting snubbed, and I left wishing I'd put them at #2, rather than the random #3 I originally put.

To Peanut Butter Cup next, where I chatted with some more guys, including a really in-depth convo with this one bloke that got interrupted by this guy from my visitation group who'd mentioned that he was pissy about how not too many people from the fraternities seemed to talk to him, especially in Dark Chocolate Twix. That kind of irritated me that he did that, but since I knew he was feeling depressed about feeling shut out, I excused myself to go get some food, hung out a little while more, and then left. Still the most gorgeous house, but falling further down my list in spite of it. Also, one of the girlfriends of the guys I overheard complaining about how lame the whole thing was and how she couldn't wait to leave. This, I might remind, is also the same fraternity where the sorority girls ignored the guys. So yeah, by this point in the evening, Peanut Butter Cup and Butterscotch Disc had flipflopped places in my head, because of the sense of getting along with the brothers of the house.

From there, it was on to Mentos, which had a rocking party going on. Unfortunately, remember what I said about them thinking they were all that and a bag of chips? Well, that still apparently applied here because I was totally disregarded. After about twenty minutes, I got disgusted and started walking off, only to be caught by my guide from before. He talked to me some, but I got the feeling he wasn't all that interested or genuine. Bye-bye Mentos. You are *not* my Freshmaker. :D

Onward to Three Musketeers, which confirmed their Animal House stereotype in every way possible. The odd thing is, I actually got to really like these guys during this visit, especially after... well, I'm going to have to wait to tell you this story until after I finalize my bid. :D They invited me to go along with them partying, but I ended up declining. Still, I have to say these guys shot up from the back of the pack to #4. Excellent leap forward.

Peppermint Patty came next. My impression of these guys as a great group of fellows was further enhanced as I chatted with them more earnestly than I did last time, but it was still too depressing a place to be around. So, nope, this isn't the place for me.

Last stop was M & M, which, even though it was only about 9:45, was closed for the evening. This further cemented my feeling that they were sooo not right for me, as I'm a night owl, and there were already sharp personality differences to consider.

From there, it was back to Dark Chocolate Twix. There, too, I got an invitation to go to a party with them. This time, I accepted and hung out for an hour, but I'm afraid I wasn't much social in the least, and I left after about an hour without saying anything to anyone about leaving. As I walked back to my dorm, I couldn't but help but wonder if I'd screwed up by being withdrawn and leaving so silently.

But yeah, for now, here's the rankings in my head as of Bid Day Morning:

1. Dark Chocolate Twix
2. Butterscotch Disc
3. 3 Musketeers (These guys reminded me of my best friend back home who I haven't seen in a few years, so they sneak on up to 3rd)
4. Peanut Butter Cup

The other four are more or less dropped from consideration, due to reasons of just not being the right fit for me.

Time to hit the showers and get dressed. More to come later. :)

is this thread forreal? I swear, this has to be Rudey or KSig RC messing around with you all.

If this thread IS forreal, well. Good luck buddy. I hope you get into Peppermint patty or whichever it is you want to get into.


PS- please don't tell the fraternities you named them after candy bars.

Jestor, it is extreemly interesting to read the Rush/Recruitment thread from a Male for a Change.:)

While You have made some very good insights on Who, What, and Why, Let Me caution You.

A Nice House is only a Building, not what The Membership is all about. The same goes for a No House GLO.

Not knowing YOur School and the Number of GLOs on Campus (?) Guessing that it is a Non Big Un. then two things should be important.

The National aspect and what the Members offer.

While I love the great work You placed into Your investigation, there are many things that need to be looked at for now and the future.

It is a shame that You dont go to My School and Chapter where We are looking for Men who can help us rebuild along with anew House (Building).

Age on Major Campi is a problem and I dont think it should be, but when it is full, they look for Long Termers.:(

A better fit sometimes for Chapters is to find someone with a little more head on their Shoulders, not in their pants!:(

Woo Hoo, sounds like today should be a good day for you.

I'm no expert but I wouldn't worry too much about being a little anti-social last night. You came back to their house after goign to most of teh others so that should say a lot. Plus, it's probably been a long week and I'm sure everyone is more tired than normal.

Your post last night made it sound like you did something REALLY stupid............

Hahaha the candy bars thing only came about because I happened to have a Dark Chocolate Twix in my hand at the time that I was munching on. :)

So I woke up today, showered, and walked to the meadow area where they were handing out bids, my heart pounding and my head feeling a little light.

Would I get a bid or would I not?

I go to the table, where the guy is like, "You're Jestor Jestor right?"

"Yeah."

"I just saw you in here. Let me take a look."

He flips through the cards and I'm getting more and more tense by the moment.

Then he hands me the card and says something that I don't really hear because I'm too busy staring at it.

....

...

....

....

I got two bids!

Dark Chocolate Twix and Three Musketeers both extended me an offer!!!!!!

I quickly thanked the guys at the table who told me that if I was going to accept a bid to just go to the house in question.

Then I dashed away from the table and just stood under a tree for a while, wiping away tears of joy that were in my eyes. I've wanted to be Greek ever since high school and I was afraid by this time that I was too old to be accepted and I thought I'd blown it with Dark Chocolate Twix. Being Greek seemed like just a pipe dream and now, not one but *two* fraternities wanted me as their brother.

This probably sounds silly but that was a huge deal to me, to know that more than one fraternity wanted me and that I had a decision to make. It made me feel like I was somebody really special and that I was wanted.

So after I calmed down from my teary-eyed outburst of happiness, I looked at the card again. While you might have expected that I would have dashed off to Dark Chocolate Twix right away, I wanted to take some time to reflect on it. After all, 3 Musketeers had grown a lot on me over the week and I gave some very serious consideration to their bid.

But in the end, my footsteps carried me to the house of Dark Chocolate Twix and I became one of the newest members of....

Sigma Chi!

Congrats, I absolutely ADORE the Sigma Chi chapter here @ Kent (Zeta Lambda). Derby Days is my fave time of year! :)

Congrats!!! I have really enjoyed reading your thread.

Right on! That was a really fantastic story. I really appreciate your sharing it along with such great details. It sounds like you are on your way to a great experience and that the brothers of Sigma Chi have a lot to be proud of!

I KNEW IT!!!!!!!! :D :D

I had eliminated some based on what you said and they were the ones that I just had a feeling were your #1.

And the weird thing is, that was all based on the national rep that they have. Your description just sounded like them.

And yes, Derby Days my freshman year is one of my best memories of college........one of the contests was to "dress a Sig". Ours was hating life when it was determined that he would fit into one of my sister's formal dresses.

You have joined a great GLO.

Oh, and the beautiful house really is but it seems a bit out of place compared to the others.

Congratulations, bro! I hope to see more fraternity rush threads in the future!

Sending good vibes that you get invites back to your "favorites".:)

Woo! Congratulations on SIGMA CHI!

My cousin is a Sigma Chi :)

Great story with a happy ending...congrats to you and Sigma Chi! :)

Congratulations. Most of the Sigma Chis I've had the pleasure to know have been solid, respectable, fun-loving guys. May you make a lifetime of memories -- and remain an active and involved alumnus!

how exciting for you!!! congratulations!!

Hey! Good for you! My cousin is a Sigma Chi and he really enjoyed his time as a collegiate member. Congratulations.


.....Kelly :)