Should I re-rush
 

I was givin a bid last year to a sorority that I wasn't entirely inlove with, and was forced to depledge two weeks before getting intiated. Granted i gradually came to love the house, it was apparently fated that I wasnt supposed to be there. The house (xyz) that I really really wanted to be in I loved durring rush, and was unfortunately dropped by the third night, and regretfully as ked back to two houses whom I really did not like at all. I still really want to be part of the XZY but I dont know if I can go through the rejection again, nor do I was the pressure of taking a bid from a house that i have luke warm feelings for. Any help would be amazing.

PS i also dont want to be asked back to those other houses, granted the girls were nice, but I just didnt feel comfortable. I dont want to be mean to them in anyway, but is there a way to avoid being asked back?

If you go through formal rush again, you will have to go to all the parties you are asked to or you may not get a bid at all. XYZ could ask you to pledge, but they could drop you again. That's the chance you are taking.

However, no matter what anyone tells you, at the end of rush week you don't HAVE to put any sorority's name down on that bid card.

Correction. She says she was forced to depledge, not that she chose to. That is a possible bad situation that other houses may have known about or may try to find out from the house that you used to pledge. If you lie, you're going to make life a lot worse.

Also as an aside, if you want to rush, you may not want to advertise that you practically live at the Delt house as you did here on GC. GC isn't a very anonymous place, it's easy to figure out who is who.

Good luck, but you do have somewhat of an uphill battle ahead.

You don't say why you are 'forced' to leave the chapter. This is another red flag. After all, it was two weeks before inititation - the assumption will be that you must have done something pretty unforgiveable to get booted out right before initiation.

If you hadn't accepted a bid to another group and left, I would say that your chances at a second recruitment were about 50/50. However, since you did accept a bid and left the chapter, my opinion is that your chances of a successful outcome are slim to none.

Re: Should I re-rush
 

If you have your membership cancelled, whether as a new member or an initiate, word travels. You should not go through sorority recruitment again. Instead, go to a few campus club meetings that are of interest to you and select one or two that you might want to become involved with.

Was it the sorority that asked her to leave, or was she "forced" to for some other reason (health problems, school problems, whatever)?

Well the thing was I wasn’t happy in the house I accepted my bid to. I didn’t want to be there, and my behavior reflected that. I was basically asked to leave for the following reasons: 1. I was unable to attend meetings due to work and 2. Because it was assumed that I would not be making grades.

Granted these reasons may seem understandable but how can that be fair in the big rush picture? I wasn’t able to attend non-mandatory meetings, but attended as meetings and non mandatory events as possible. Also the fact that I was the LONE new member, meetings were altered for 80+ girls so I could attend. Prior to my pledge class being initiated many girls made it very clear that they were going to be very annoyed if they were going to have to have interactive meeting because a few girls didn’t get activated. It’s a lot of pressure to disrupt formal meeting. It just seemed selfish.

As for the grades, I made them. And despite the fact I fail to before, I have now raised my GPA by a large amount.

I wasn’t doing anything drastically wrong; it was just a situation with extra ordinary repercussions.

I find it really sad that I cant be part of a house I like, because I was in a house that I didnt like. I would really like to be part of the greek system, and would really like to know that rush was less about the politics and more about the girls.

Saying that: Would my chances increase if say I explained my reasons for being asked to leave to the girls that rush me?

FWIW, my chapter depledged two women when I was in school. One of them moved to Ireland (rather extreme, I'll admit!) and the other waited until the next rush, then pledged another sorority. The last I heard, she was a successful, happy sister.

How she made the transition, I'm not sure. Somehow, she was permitted not to come back to our house during rush, but from there, I never heard how it was explained.

Honestly, going thru formal recruitment would probably be quite awkward. As other people have mentioned, word spreads when a new member is asked to leave a chapter and there is a good chance that your version of the story is not the one that everyone has heard.

However, before you decide to try joining a sorority again, think about if and why you truly want to join. If work prevented you from participating before, why will that not be an issue this time? Are you sure that you can keep your grades up if you join a sorority?

If you can answer these questions to yourself, then I would check and see what options your school has for informal recruitment. COR might be a better option, especially if you have friends in the chapters that you are interested in joining.

Good luck - it sounds like you are in a tough situation.

Whoa, wait, back up. Are you saying you were the only person in your pledge class - that no other girls were pledging that semester? And there were 80 sisters in the chapter???

That just sounds really odd to me.

Have you had any interaction with XYZ since you depledged your first sorority? Have they given any indication that they are sorry they dropped you?

You apparently have your heart set on XYZ only, and if they haven't shown you somehow that they feel the same, it would be a big mistake for you to rerush.

No, what happened is she was the one person who didn't make grades from her pledge class so she couldn't be initiated.

But, I thought she said that they just "assumed" that she wouldn't make grades....

I am WAY confused by this. :confused:

A quick personal opinion here:

I can't believe that a chapter would want to make someone depledge because it is a "hassle" to have a meeting where one person has not been initiated yet. Maybe it is a ritual thing that I just don't understand- maybe in this chapter, a lot has to be done in meetings that she would not be privleged to be in on, and they find that to be annoying to have to make someone leave and such. I don't know. To be honest, I don't find it very "sisterly" (sorry to use a cheesy word) for people to complain about having meetings with one person not initiated. Especially complaining enough about it to be PART of a reason for someone to depledge.

I am possibly missing something big here, but something like the meeting thing she mentioned just seems kind of catty and mean. Ok sorry.

Yeah, still way confused. :confused:

whoa wait what?? Im not commenting on the house I swear to it!! I wanted the bid, I liked the house at first dont get me wrong. Just the more I got into it the less I liked it. It was whole heartedly a person thing and had nothing to do with the house being bad as a whole. I still have a great deal of friends in that house, and like nearly everyone in it. If I am offending you I am really really really sorry.

So after all this I would like to make a public comment for people to please not reply to this thread anymore. I dont want anyones feelings to get hurt, and personally mine have been pretty well beat up over it.

The way it works in my chapter (which I think we all can figure out is the one at issue here) is that if you don't make grades you are considered a "Diamond Pledge". This means that you are not intitiated that quarter and you are carried over to the next quarter to see if you make grades and can be initiated.
What happens when we still have pledges is that instead of everyone coming to active meeting, they have what is called "interactive" with the pledges. No ritual, just event discussion, etc. Then once everyone is initiated it goes back to just "active" meeting for the remainder of the year. Interactive is VERY time consuming because you basically have 2 meetings a night.
The situation here, according to the post above, was that she did not make grades for 2 quarters. I can understand why some girls would be annoyed that chapter meeting was doubled in length every week for an entire year because of one person. It may seem catty, but people have limited time.
HOWEVER, I don't think she was asked to leave entirely for that reason. She said she could not attend meetings because of work AND WAS CAUGHT DRINKING AT FORMAL.

It IS a confusing story....and several sentences seem to contradict themselves or confuse things, so I'll leave it at this:

Sounds like you won't be able to get an answer that satisfies you here. None of us were experiencing this when you were...we don't know exactly what was said, what reasons were given what requirements were or were not met. And there's no need to tell us here, because we have no way of verifiying them in case you somehow misunderstood along the way.

You have to make the decision yourself. If you want to go through recruitment again, do it. That will answer all of your questions. There's no guarantee that it will be comfortable for you...it could be heartbreaking...it might not be.

It's your decision. There's no way we can predict what will happen.

PsychTau

That's fine, if you didn't intend it then it would probably be best to stop the thread. No worries.

Thanks so much for clearing it up for me! Makes so much more sense now. :)

Wow, some schools are really prudish . . . if we punished girls for drinking at formal at my school and a lot of others there wouldn't be many sorority girls. That especially applies to underage ones . . .

Dude, I think things have changed since you were in school. ;)

Ok so did the original poster edit out the part about being asked to leave b/c she drank at formal? I don't know where it came from since it's not in any of her posts and I'm really confused.

My advice is, if you're school is small enough that people would remember you and know the depledging situation, don't rerush. A school like mine where there are over 1000 PNM's every year, it's a bit different. However there is still the very real possibilty of one girl remembering you from the year before, though it's not as likely. I dunno, I guess in the end it's up to you to decide, but with the situation you've described I personally would say don't re-rush, but that is just MY opinion. Good luck.

Yep.........

Well if all he underage girls go to formal sober . . I'd be surprised. You used to have to follow the 11th commandment, "Thou Shalt not Get Caught." :p

I think it would be a little naive to believe that underage girls are not drinking before or during formal (hidden flasks anyone?) regardless of the laws.

Or is it one of those good chapter things? The good, ladylike chapters don't do that but the bad chapters non-ladylike ones do?

Did anyone forget this post she made?:confused: Last on Page 1 and has continued since.:(

I think the discussion has moved away from her specifically to a more general discussion...I don't see the problem with it.

Pre-parties were STRICTLY FORBIDDEN when I was an active..... People did it anyway. They just were more careful about it. And if anyone knows how to sneak alcohol into an event, it would be the fraternity guys at A&M. :p

So, of course people SHOULDN'T drink underage, and people SHOULD follow the rules. But people will always sneak around and will always try to get away with things.

ETA: I'm not condoning actions like these, I'm just saying that they happen. :)

And, when they happen, and when the people are caught, they shouldn't be surprised that there are consequences for not following fraternity/sorority policy and the law.

Oh, I agree.