Dealing with stress
 

How do you deal with large amounts of stress?

I've been totally stressed out lately. To make a long story short: I was laid off last month, and I've spent the past couple of months interviewing (I foresaw the layoff). I have received and accepted a job offer (woohoo :) ), but the new job would require me to commute 2+ hours each way via commuter rail and subway. So my husband and I have started the process of moving closer to my new job. This means selling our current house (which I love :( ) and buying a new place. The for-sale sign went up today at my current house (*sob*), and we spent a very discouraging afternoon today with a realtor in our target city, viewing properties and finding absolutely nothing we liked.

With all this going on, I've been overwhelmed with stress. My usual ways of coping with stress (long walk, gardening) just aren't cutting it. At this point I'm half-tempted to call off the move and suck up the commute.

Any ideas for handling the stress? (besides venting on GC ;) )

Would it be horrible to try the commute for a month or so and see how it goes? You may find that it's worth the commute to stay in a house you love.
Also, go to the gym. That helps tremendously!!!

I would like to know how to deal with stress, too, but I don't know that there really is a good way. I've always been especially prone to stressing out so over the years I've just sort of managed to work under it--but I would not recommend that!

2 hour commute via Rail?:(

It better be one heck of a great job with Lots of $$$$$.

Or just drink and do some doobies!

What ever You dont do is try Your own Small Business, there is some damn stress!:mad:

Good Luck for sure!:)

If you saw American Beauty, you know how Annette Bening handles stress:

http://ak1.aka.eonline.com/7/1480/12...ct.actress.jpg

(photo courtesy of E! Online)

Probably screws what His butt Her Nutsoid Hubby or comes to Kansas City!:)

When stressed, I run, shop, or drink beer. Sometimes I do all three, and things don't usually go well when I drink and shop at the same time. I'd recommend running.

Would it help if you rented in the new city for a while -- that way, you wouldn't have to stress about finding a house and maybe you'd actually enjoy house hunting later, when things are more settled.

The gym is a good idea... relieve stress and get fit at the same time. I don't belong to a gym, but I have some gym equipment at home.

When I went in for some of my interviews, I did the train trip that will be my commute. Not only is it l-o-o-o-o-o-n-g, there are only a few trains per day on my branch of the commuter rail. This means I can't stay very late at the office - if I miss the last train home, I'm screwed. So while I do have the option of staying where I am, it's not really viable long-term. I will most likely be doing the commute for a few weeks, anyway, until we've closed on the new place and moved in.

It is a good job, with pretty good pay, benefits, and stability. I can see myself at this company ten years from now.

On the up side, you can do things on a train (read, cross-stitch, etc) that you can't do while commuting by car, which is what I'm used to. I may actually make a dent in my cross-stitch stash. :p

I think You have it right on the head!:)

Rent a small place and commute on weekends. Farm the Kids out and have hubby come for a visit and some great whoopie!!!!

valkyrie, running will kill You, shopping will break You, but drinking some fine Lagar will make you feel Loverly!:D

Renting is a good idea, but I don't think it would work for us. Rental units do exist in our target market, but they tend to be small, meaning that some of our belongings would have to sit in storage until we found a house. Plus there are tax benefits for homeowners. We do still have our existing house, and I'd rather stay there than rent for a few months.

No, No, No! You rent a studio/one bed room and commute on weekends if the money is right! Have Hubby come in once a month and have great sex in a strange environ!

Well I guess if it is major City!

Dennis Hepburn, Kates Nephew did 1 1/2 hour each way daily to NY City from Long Island. Got to Him eventually!

The gym is my biggest stress reducer; hit the weights, do some running, and by the end of the workout I'm too tired to be stressed.

I tend to get stressed out the most when I have a zillion things running through my head, worrying about bills and things I need to do and such. It helps me a lot to write out a list or even just jot notes down to sort of clear my head. Don't know if this would help in your situation, but I find when it's down on paper I don't worry about it as much as when it's in my head.

Haha....thats called anxiety.

Eh, I suppose. It still makes me tense and stresses me out.

Do you realize there is a treatment that will stop that from happening? I'm only asking because I know how bad it is to go through that crap. I used to put it off as stress until I was diagnosed for it and was informed of ways to stop it. Anxiety and Stress are 2 different things.

Not to hijack AEPhi Alum's thread, but it's not a constant problem. There are just times when I have a lot going on at work, or I have a lot of things to remember, or something to that effect, and it helps to write it down. I don't think I'm an anxious person in general, I don't have anxiety attacks, or anything of that nature. I'm a fairly scatterbrained/unorganized person and so when I have more than a few things going on at once I need to write it all down or else it will be running through my head and I get tense about it.

Thats what happened to me, I'd have like 8 different places I needed to go to after work and I'd get all stressed out when I didnt think I'd be able to get it done within the time frame I alotted for it. Another example would be if I needed to call 15 people back and if I didnt get to all of them by the end of the day I'd get stressed/pissed off. It was both good and bad. I'd always get my stuff done but in the process of doing it I was an asshole to everyone. Sometimes, though, it makes you wonder if being the dependable/go to guy is really worth the stress it can cause. I've always had the mentality of people are depending on me to come through whether it's been bitches, business needs, help, yay, support in every form, and yes-even constructive criticism.

I am DEFINATELY an anxious person! (I think I get it from my mom). I am not one of those people who can just sit back and let things work themselves out. I always feel like I have to FIX whatever is wrong right now. It causes some serious stress AND anxiety.

My anxiety reliever- crying. :p If I am really bothered by something or upset about something, I just break down and cry for like 15 or 20 minutes. Then I call my best friend and cry to her for a few minutes. Then she talks to me about it, and I end up feeling a little better. I know it sounds rediculous, but sometimes just talking and crying REALLY do help ease some of the tension.

I also write (or type) in a journal. I was surprised at how much that really helps.

Ok, sorry for the hijack!

Aephi Alum... Maybe you would be able to handle that commute- and if you think you can and it would stress you out LESS, then try it for a little while. I personally could NEVER handle taking that long to get to and from work. Just sit and think about how much time that will really add on to your work day. In the end, most of the time you spend in this house that you love, you will be sleeping. I would make sure that's worth it before you make the final decision.

I agree with whoever suggested renting.... You might be able to find an inexpensive small place to stay at during the week and then go home on the weekend. It might make things just a tiny bit less stressful, and you can continue your house hunt.

Whatever you decide, I hope things work out well for you. And congratulations on the new job!!!! At least that is one less stress that you have. :)

Thanks for all the input. :)

I already know the commute would kill me long-term. It's 2+ hours each way on commuter rail and subway. I love my current house, but with 8+ hours at work and 4+ hours commuting, I'd never be able to appreciate my limited time at home.

Renting is an interesting idea, except for the small fact that my new job is in NYC, and we'd be better off financially buying a house closer to NYC rather than renting a place there (= $$$) and continuing to pay mortgage on our current house. Mortgage interest is tax deductible, rent is not. Plus, I'd miss my husband all week.

Anyway, we've expanded our search to an area a little farther north of NYC, and we have some promising leads. Maybe I can still have a nice-sized house without having a long commute or being po'.

Still having trouble with the stress, though. I can't leave my house without looking at that big ol' for-sale sign, and I still haven't seen a house I actually want to buy. :(

AEPhiAlum, are you considering looking for a home in Westchester, NY or Fairfield County, CT? The commute isn't too far on the MetroNorth. I know real estate can be expensive in those areas, but you might get lucky. Good luck and take a deep breath! :)

Things that relieve stress for me (and I am very very anxious person in general): running/hard workouts (walking doesn't cut it for me), going out with some of my friends who are always a blast to hang out with and just drinking/dancing

However, the number one stress reliever is way too obvious. DOING something about the problem. (Haha -- and you thought I was going to give you some awesome solution, didn't you?) The second I make a decision and take some active steps towards creating a workable solution, the tension dissipates. Of course, sometimes this can be something you can't control -- but sometimes when you're faced with a situation that's difficult, like buying a new house when nothing out there is nice, the stress can cause you to procrastinate and worry more. The more you get out there, the faster you're going to find a house that you love, and the faster you do that, the faster you can calm down a little.

That's all I got. :)

P-n-C, thanks for the good-luck wishes :) - I PM'd you.

S&S, usually doing something about the problem helps me deal with the situation, but not this time. I stress before I go into a job interview, but once I'm in the room, I'm fine. I freaked out ten minutes before my wedding, but once I was walking down the aisle, I was calmer than anyone else in the room, including my husband and my mother. But for some reason it isn't working this time. I have to get my house ready to be shown, and that means a lot of work cleaning and getting rid of clutter, and for some reason, all that prep work isn't helping. It doesn't help that I haven't seen an appropriate house yet.

Off to take a long bath...

Drugs

-Rudey

Wow. Knowing that it is New York does make a big difference. I've never even been there, but I have heard horror stories about the cost to live IN the city. Expanding your search area to different areas around the city is probably a good idea.

*GOOD LUCK!!*

So aside from drinking, drugs or exercise, what are some other good tips to deal with anxiety?

I stick by my "talk to someone about it" response. It does wonders for me. :) One of my best guy friends knows that if I call him saying "I need advice" it really just means I need him to listen and tell me that I'm a good person. :D

Calcium and magnesium complex. It will knock your ass out though. I would only take it after work or school.

AEPHI ALUM

Have you looked at Danbury CT? My dad used to commute to NYC from there and took a train directly to GRand Central Station. It didn't take him too long and used to work wierd hours so I think there are a few routes. Not sure what price range you are looking at though so Danbury may be expensive.

Danbury is a good idea, but the commute is still too long... 2 hours on Metro-North each way, plus time on the subway.

I think we're going to end up in Norwalk or Stamford, depending on how big a mortgage we want to take out.

Anyway, I'm feeling a bit less stressed now. I've been approaching this from the wrong perspective: "OMG I'm selling my home!" But my realtor put it in perspective: "Don't think of this house as your home any more. It is a house. It's an item that you want to sell." So I've begun mentally moving out, so to speak. It's tough, though, because we haven't seen anything acceptable to move into. :/

Probably the best method for reducing acute stress and anxiety that I have heard of is eye movement techniques.

ITs commercialized as EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing).

A psychologist named Friedberg caught some flack for just putting the technique down in a book in an easy to use manner.

I think he really annoyed the EMDR clinicians that want a 100 dollars an hour to tell you to move your eyes back and forth horizontally . . . or to tap rythmically on opposite sides of your body.

I despise people that complicate simple stuff to make money.

What he writes down is identical to EMDR. Also, eye access techniques are not new, they have been around for along time.

I know several people that use the technique all the time to break negative thought patterns, deal with anxiety, or even simple stress.

Here is a link to the book on Amazon:

Eye movement

I read a lot about that method as a means of treating PTSD. They had a lot of success with it.

yeah. the FBI flew them in after the Oklahoma Bombing to help people. Also the Veterans Administration now uses it as their preferred tool for PTSD (post tramautic stress disorder).

Its a ridiculously simple technique. Friedberg extrapolates it out to some more mundane issues. . everything from chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, eating disorders, to a simple 5 minute relaxation technique.

Its really the best technique I have learned . . and I have taken meditation classes and relaxation seminars etc.

ITs also so fast. I mean you can break a negative thought or anxiety in a couple seconds.

Any new ideas to reduce anxiety?
 

I am on spring break right now, which is supposed to be relaxing. I didn't even fly home this year so I would have time to decompress. Unfortunately...the only thing that has been comsuming my mind is school work: the info that still needs to be taught before the standardized tests in three weeks, the two projects for my grad class, papers that need to be graded, my plan for an observed lesson for when I get back next week, phone calls to parents for the upcoming field trip.

I am hoping that by biting the bullet and going into school tomorrow to put in a workday, I'll have the calls done, papers graded and inputted, and the templates for the grad project to bring home.

I hate being a worrier! I'm so jealous of people who can just let things go and know that things will work out. So, are there any new suggestions on dealing with the stress and anxiety of work?
:confused:

Drink, Take Perscription Drugs and Get Hooked!

Talk with Friends and Heed! Your Greek Friends will help You for more and a lot lsss cheaper than Psycho Docs.

I always wondered if the have the Nuts syndrom from talking to so many Crazys?

If You do not have Greek Relationships then, You are on Your own, Sorry!

PM Me! We Can Talk or via Ma Bell!

Your call!:)

The Ultimate Study Group (relaxation) & great gift
 

You should try eating or maturbating.

Do you even read the damn threads before you spam them??

Yeah, that's what I thought.

my post is better than Reply from Dionysus
 

The reply from Dionysus was uncalled for, my method is much better ;)

Personally I prefer sex to some overpriced crap.