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The most weird or stupid news story you heard today.
I thought we could use a thread for all of those "serious" news stories that are just a little bit weird, or maybe made you laugh. Here is mine for today:
British Police Crack Missing Gnome Case British police crack missing gnome case Two women charged after for pilfering from gardens in Central Scotland MSNBC Updated: 1:48 p.m. ET Aug. 24, 2005 In an apparent breakthrough in a series of mysterious garden raids in Scotland, police in Britain have charged two women after discovering a huge cache of garden gnomes, the BBC reported Wednesday. Police reportedly found least 40 gnomes, hedgehogs, rabbits and furniture in a house in Alloa, Clackmannanshire in central Scotland in what they described as an Aladdin's cave of garden ornaments. They also unearthed more than 60 plant pots and 25 solar lights, according to the BBC. People in Stirling, Clackmannanshire and Falkirk in Central Scotland had complained that gnomes, hedgehogs and rabbits had gone missing, it said. The discovery was the culmination of an 11-day police investigation into the spate of thefts. Cracking the case was described as a "significant achievement" by Detective Constable Roy Lake, but the challenge of making sure the gnomes had a home to go to remained, the BBC said. "Our task now is to identify who the items belong to and ensure they are given back to their rightful owners," he was quoted as saying. "an Aladdin's cave of garden ornaments." Hahaha. :) |
This wasn't today...but I thought it was still kind of funny:
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2142263 Apparently, a former member of the Marlins dared their batboy to drink a certain amount of milk in a short period of time. When the team found out, they suspended him for 6 games (roughly equivilent to what Raffy Palmeiro got for steroid use). |
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Just more testament to the fact that the steroid policy isn't strong enough. I say ban them for the rest of the season, if not for life....
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Man Arrested in Practical Joke Gone Awry
Idiot!
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050829/...t/prank_arrest SAVANNAH, Ga. - A Savannah man was arrested after he told a 13-year-old girl to hand a note to a bank teller threatening a holdup, police said. Michael Lyons, 45, told police that he and a group of girls celebrating his daughter's birthday were trying to play a practical joke. The note said "Give me all of your money, this is a stick up," according to a police report. While Lyons was getting money out of an ATM on Friday, the girl went into the bank and handed the note to a teller. The teller sounded the bank's alarm and police and FBI surrounded the building searching for suspected burglars. Instead, they found Lyons and the group of girls. Lyons was charged with criminal attempt of robbery by intimidation, said Savannah-Chatham Metropolitan Police spokesman Bucky Burnsed. "You can't yell fire in a crowded theater, can't joke about a bomb in your luggage at the airport, and you can't write notes to cashier that say 'This is a stick up,'" Burnsed said. ___ |
cell phone stories
washington post
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All the idiots who ignored the Katrina evacuation warnings and then called 911 to have someone come rescue them get my vote for stupid news story.
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Students can use 'f-word' up to 5 times per lesson
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9132814/
U.K. school tailors policy to foul mouths Students can use 'f-word' up to 5 times per lesson Updated: 3:32 p.m. ET Aug. 30, 2005 As children throughout the country head back to school, many of them are probably muttering a few choice words about the prospect of returning to the classroom and the expected onslaught of homework. But can they utter those choice words and swear at their teachers? If they’re heading back to school in one town in England, then yes, they can. According to a report in the U.K.’s Daily Mail, one school in the town of Wellingborough is allowing pupils to swear at teachers, providing they only do so no more than five times in a class. A tally of how many times the f-word is used will be kept and if the class exceeds the limit, they will be “spoken” to, the newspaper reported. The school believes the policy will improve behavior, but parents and parliamentary members have condemned the rule and warned it would backfire. According to the Daily Mail, assistant headmaster Richard White said the policy was aimed at 15- and 16-year-olds in two classes which are considered troublesome. "Within each lesson the teacher will initially tolerate (although not condone) the use of the f-word (or derivatives) five times and these will be tallied on the board so all students can see the running score," the Daily Mail quoted White as writing in a letter. "Over this number the class will be spoken to by the teacher at the end of the lesson." According to the report, headmaster Alan Large said he had received no complaints about the policy. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Can I just say, had I EVER used the f-bomb in class especially toward a teacher, I would STILL be grounded...and probably for the rest of my natural life. But Conservative member of parliament Ann Widdecombe said the policy was based on “Alice in Wonderland reasoning,” the Daily Mail reported. “What next? Do we allow people to speed five times or burgle five times? You don't improve something by allowing it, you improve something by discouraging it,” Widdecombe was quoted as saying. The newspaper also reported that the 1,130-pupil school plans to send “praise postcards” to the parents of children who do not swear and who turn up on time for lessons. |
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/9127549/
Missing: 2 ft., 8 lb., monkey wearing blue pants SPRINGDALE, Ohio - The bulletin issued by police in the southwest Ohio town of Springdale describes the subject as two feet tall, weighing eight pounds, clad only in blue pants and prone to sleeping in trees. Dillion, a circus monkey, fled into a nearby woods early on Monday after being frightened by a train whistle from tracks near where the circus was performing in Springdale, in northern Hamilton County. Trainer Philip Hendricks, who is part of the Hendricks Brothers Circus, says Dillion, who has a white face, brown body and is wearing a leash, is usually confident in new surroundings but the train whistle sent him scurrying. The circus is leaving town Thursday morning and Hendricks is worried that his monkey won't be found before then. Hendricks suggests that anyone who spots Dillion try to lure him with food. He's fond of apples, oranges, nuts, berries -- and Kentucky Fried Chicken. ETA: Missing Monkey Found :) |
Woman, 73, Accused of Shooting Husband
Oh my! Apparently, he had VD. **I had a laughing smiley until I finished the article. She was really trying to kill him.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050831/...derly_shooting AUBURN, W.Va. - A 73-year-old woman has been accused of shooting her 69-year-old husband because she believed he contracted a venereal disease while having an affair with a neighbor. "He was treated a few weeks ago, apparently for a venereal disease. That's apparently where it (the shooting) came from," said Trooper J.E. Stout of the State Police's Harrisville detachment. Mollie A. Hardbarger of Auburn is accused of shooting her husband Hallie once in the abdomen with a .22-caliber rifle on Tuesday. She was charged with malicious wounding. Hallie Hardbarger was in critical condition Wednesday at St. Joseph's Hospital in Parkersburg, said hospital spokeswoman Jill Parsons. Mollie Hardbarger complained of chest pains after she was arrested Tuesday and also was taken to the hospital, police said. She was in good condition Wednesday, Parsons said. "She is under 24-hour guard at the hospital. We'll continue to do that until she's released," Stout said. After she is released from the hospital, she will be arraigned in Wood County Magistrate Court. |
Jesse Jackson arrives in New Orleans, solves all problems within 90 min., calls Larry King to report live on natl. TV.
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Hurricane victim hospitalized with scalded mouth, tongue, and throat.
"I just followed directions to boil water before drinking." |
NY Senator Chuckie Schumer suggests that Bush ask Sandra Day to stay on the court for a year or so, as "acting chief justice".
Does he think that in a year or so (and after the 2006 elections) the libs might control the Senate? |
Fired for eating pizza, man wins contest
September 5, 2005 BY MICHAEL LIEDTKE Advertisement SAN FRANCISCO -- A computer engineer who lost his job because he ate two pieces of pepperoni pizza left over from a company meeting has been named the winner of an offbeat Internet contest that solicited stories about outrageous firings. A panel of Silicon Valley judges assembled by Simply Hired, a Mountain View startup that sponsored the contest, picked Jim Garrison's strange tale from more than 1,000 entries submitted during the past month. The reward: a free Caribbean cruise that will include passengers famously fired by Donald Trump on his popular TV show, "The Apprentice." Garrison, 39, prevailed over some tough competition. The runners-up included these bizarre stories: a furniture mover who got fired after he and a co-worker were caught fencing with some adult sex toys that they found in a customer's bedroom; a worker who misunderstood a manager's instructions to send some sensitive data to microfilm and e-mailed it to a "Michael Finn" instead; and a warehouse worker found doing perverse things with the prosthetics made by his employer. It made for such fascinating reading that one woman posted an account about how she got fired for spending too much company time on Simplyfired.com. 'I would have been happy to pay' Garrison, who lives in Highlands Ranch, Colo., said he never dreamed he would be fired after he ate two of the six pieces of pepperoni pizza left over from a company meeting. Although he didn't work in the department that held the meeting, Garrison figured the food was fair game since it looked like it was going to be wasted if it wasn't eaten. What he didn't know is that several other employees had already worked out a plan to take the leftover pizza home. When they discovered one-third of the leftover pizza had been eaten, the employees reported Garrison to management, leading to his firing last November. "If somebody had warned me, I would have been happy to pay for the pizza," Garrison said. Garrison declined to identify his former employer. He is now happily employed as a programmer at a satellite TV company. On the Web: www.simplyfired.com |
How about FEMA didn't know there were evacuees at the NO Convention Center.
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A TRAITOR IS ABOUT TO BE HONORED
This is for all the kids born in the 70's who do not remember, and didn't have to bear the burden that our fathers, mothers and older brothers and sisters had to bear. Jane Fonda is being honored as one of the "100 Women of the Century." BY BARBRA WALTERS Unfortunately, many have forgotten and still countless others have never known how Ms. Fonda betrayed not only the idea of our country, but specific men who served and sacrificed during Vietnam. The first part of this is from an F-4E pilot The pilot's name is Jerry Driscoll, a River Rat. In 1968, the former Commandant of the USAF Survival School was a POW in Ho Lo Prison _ the "Hanoi Hilton." Dragged from a stinking cesspit of a cell, cleaned, fed, and dressed in clean PJ's, he was ordered to describe for a visiting American "Peace Activist" the "lenient and humane treatment" he'd received. He spat at Ms. Fonda, was clubbed, and was dragged away. During the subsequent beating, he fell forward on to the camp Commandant's feet, which __ sent that officer berserk. In 1978, the Air Force Colonel still suffered from double vision (which permanently ended his flying career) from the Commandant's frenzied application of a wooden baton. From 1963-65, Col. Larry Carrigan was in the 47FW/DO (F-4E's). _He spent 6 years in the "Hanoi Hilton",,, the first three of which his family only knew he was "missing in action". His wife lived on faith that he was still alive. His group, too, got the cleaned-up, fed and clothed routine in preparation for a ___________ "peace delegation" visit. They, however, had time and devised a plan to get word to the world that they were alive ____ and still survived. _Each man secreted a tiny piece of paper, with his Social Security Number on it, in the palm of his hand. When paraded before Ms. Fonda and a cameraman, she walked the line, shaking each man's hand and asking little encouraging snippets like: "Aren't you sorry you bombed babies?" and "Are you grateful for the humane treatment from your benevolent captors?" Believing this HAD to be an act, they each palmed her their sliver of paper. She took them all without missing a beat. _At the end of the line and once the camera stopped rolling, to the shocked disbelief of the POWs, she turned to the officer in charge and handed him all the little pieces of paper. Three men died from the subsequent beatings. Colonel Carrigan was almost number four ____ but he survived, which is the only reason we know of her actions that day. I was a civilian economic development advisor in Vietnam, and was captured by the North Vietnamese communists in South Vietnam in 1968, and held prisoner for over 5 years. I spent 27 months in solitary confinement; one year in a cage in Cambodia; and one year ________ in a "black box" in Hanoi. My North Vietnamese captors deliberately poisoned and murdered a female missionary, a nurse in a leprosarium in Ban me Thuot, South Vietnam, whom I buried in the jungle near the Cambodian border. At one time, I weighed only about 90 lbs. ______ (My normal weight is 170 lbs.) We were Jane Fonda's "war criminals." When Jane Fonda was in Hanoi, I was asked by the camp communist political officer if I would be willing to meet with her. I said yes, for I wanted to tell her about the real treatment we POWs received... and how different it was from the treatment purported by the North Vietnamese, and parroted by her as "humane and lenient." Because of this, I spent three days on a rocky floor on my knees, with my arms outstretched with a large steel weights placed on my hands, and beaten with a bamboo cane. I had the opportunity to meet with Jane Fonda soon after I was released. _I asked her ______________ if she would be willing to debate me on TV. _ She never did answer me. These first-hand experiences do not exemplify someone who should be honored as part ________ of "100 Years of Great Women." Lest we forget..." 100 Years of Great Women" should never include a traitor whose hands are covered with the blood of so many patriots. There are few things I have strong visceral reactions to, but Hanoi Jane's participation in blatant treason, is one of them. Please take the time to forward to as many people as you possibly can. It will eventually end up on her computer and she needs to know that we will never forget. RONALD D. SAMPSON, CMSgt, USAF 716 Maintenance Squadron, Chief of Maintenance DSN: 875-6431 COMM: 883-6343 |
Didn't you just post this?
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I got that in an e-mail a long time ago. Interesting to see that it is still circulating.
What a disgusting woman. I heard these stories when I was growing up from my grandparents, who actually remember it. I don't care how famous she is- she is NOT one of the greatest women of our country and I have zero respect for her. |
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Thanks ariesrising!!! ETA: Er, I'm an idiot for giving the wrong credit. |
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9239035/
Parking police get ' spit kits' to nap offenders Equipment will allow staff gather DNA of angry British drivers Updated: 9:19 a.m. ET Sept. 7, 2005 LONDON - Britain’s much abused and derided parking police, known as traffic wardens, have a new weapon in their struggle with irate car drivers: DNA evidence. British car-parking firm NCP is to issue DNA “spit kits” to its staff after a man who spat at a traffic warden pleaded guilty to assault when his saliva was identified. Dennis Samms, 42, of Manchester in northwest England, will be sentenced on Thursday. “This is the first successful prosecution in Britain of the assault of a traffic warden due to DNA evidence,” a spokesman for NCP, the company that employed the traffic warden, said. “The DNA evidence did not come out in court, but that is because the man knew he was guilty.” NCP, which manages off-street parking for various local authorities, supplying traffic warden and vehicle-clamping services, began a trial of the “spit kit” in March and now plans to make the kit more widely available to its wardens. “Nobody should have to be spat at while they go about their work. The ‘spit kit’ will be a powerful deterrent against the small minority who think they can spit at traffic wardens,” said the spokesman. *Maybe I just think this is funny because of the word "spit kits" :p |
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Thank you, I'll be here all night. |
The news story that the people in New Orleans are washing their dishes in the water from Lake Ponchatrain! (Just heard it on the news.)
:p :p |
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http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2154495
"Broncos quarterback Bradlee Van Pelt attended last week's Colorado State-Colorado game to support his alma mater. He wound up making a scene." "He was engaged in heckling with the Buffs fans. He wore a T-shirt with an obscenity on it. Some fans said Van Pelt flashed obscene gestures toward them." Absolutely hilarious. |
FEMA requests that media don't take any picture of dead bodies in New Orleans.
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Ok seriously, and with ALL DUE RESPECT..... There are at least two other threads where you guys can (and already are) bash the administration about the Hurricane. Can we PLEASE not do it in this one too? :(
I intended this thread to be more of a lighthearted view of some of the goofy things that people actually write news stories about. I really hope that is understandable. |
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http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/05251/567898.stm
Teenagers stole $28,000 out of a mobile home and were handing out $50 bills to girls at the local county fair. Who on earth keeps $28K in cash in their home, let alone their MOBILE HOME? |
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School District in Philippines Bans Gambling on Spider Fights -
According to the Minda News in Mindanao, Philippines, the biggest problem for the local school district isn't truancy, drugs or teen pregnancy. It's playing spiders--at least for money--which it has now been officially banned. If you don't know what "playing spiders" is, you're not alone. Most of the world fears spiders (or at least leaves them alone) but the kids in Mindanao have turned them into the latest gambling craze. According to an article in Maxim the wagering starts after the kids "get a couple of big, hairy spiders, put ‘em each on a stick, and make the poor suckers fight to the death, or until one has completely wrapped the other in a silky cocoon." (Didn't Mr. Rogers do that frequently on his TV show?) The best combatants are kept in matchboxes, and a champion can fetch 100 pesos, or $2.40, which is about a year's worth of wages for most people in the Philippines (we could be a little off on that fact). In addition to the actual spider fighting and gambling that goes along with it, the kids also spend most of their free time (and frequently skip school) finding these monster in trees, although some claim the best areas to find them are beneath power lines. (No nuclear power plants nearby, eh kids?) Superintendent Dr. Goria Mudanza was forced to prohibit school children from playing spiders for gambling purposes after visiting one local schoolyard. "I was shocked upon seeing these school children holding a piece of stick broom where the spiders are fighting, while the rest from the group are yelling while holding the bet money." |
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:
Oh, and did I mention- :eek: |
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When I thnk of this story 2 things come to mind - drug dealer place or a meth lab. Either way - those teens may be in more trouble than they counted. |
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The following "sound bites" were taken off actual police car videos around the country. There are some pretty funny policeman out there! I personally like the last one! have a good snicker! 15). "Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile." 14). "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." 13). "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." 12). "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun." 11). "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?" 10). "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?" 9). "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket." 8). "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?" 7). "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey crap." 6). "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven." 5). "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC." 4). "Just how big were those two beers?" 3). "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want." 2). "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail." And the best one . . . . . 1). "You didn't think we gave pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here." |
Wash. Post reports over-weight Europeans are paid more than skinny people in the "beer belt" of northern Europe, but skinny people are paid more in the "Olive belt" of Italy, Spain, France.
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