Do you think younger members or Neosshould respect older members
 

Do you think younger members respect the members before them? Do you think Neos should still be humble to their prophytes or older members.

All members should respect each other--thats what brothers and sisters do. Your question appears to have a condesending tone to it which is not appropriate.

However, as a matter of courtsey the opinions of older members usually carry greater influence because of the added experience and maturity of the senior member.

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"It's a long long road, it's a big big world, we are wise wise women, we are giggling girls." ~Ani DiFranco~

Hey Soror:

Yes, I do. I do not believe that younger Sorors should allow themselves to be disrespected by older Sorors in the name of humility. However, I am a proponent of treating those who have come before you and paved the way for you with the utmost respect.

I always try and respect my elders (as it pertains to elders in general). Older Sorors, even if they came only a couple of years before me, get respect as well.

I will say that I do also expect the same of Neos that have come after me. Since I treat them with respect, it tends to be reciprocated.

Good question.

Trish, I am interested in knowing (please help me to understand) what part of Soror Reds695's question sounded condescending? Thanks http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

[This message has been edited by DELTABRAT (edited November 14, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by DELTABRAT (edited November 14, 2000).]

That is common courtesy and respect. They came before you and have been doing the work and upholding the light of your organization before you were an aspirant. You especcially respect those people that made you.

I read my soror's question in the context that she sees a lack of respect by neos/younger memmbers towards prophytes/older members. (Soror Reds695 correct me if I am wrong!)

I see a lack of respect in general, not just among Greeks. This younger generation is much more "grown" than my generation (I'm a child of the Eighties). Some of the things they twist their mouths to say would have landed us on the floor.

Just as in your natural family, you not disrepect your grandmother, you should apply the same courtesy to your Greek family. Elders are the keepers of the tradition and have paved the way so that we may partake. In my humble opinion, a lack of respect for your elders shows a lack of respect for yourself. If you allow someone with this type of mentality into your organization, then you are at fault.


just my "2" cents from an oldhead



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mccoyred

Dynamic
Salient
Temperate

Real Women Dream of Wearing Crimson and Creme

I do believe respect is a two-way street. BUT, the older members should receive certain courtesy's. Our National Visitor was here during rush last year, and she had to go into another sorority's room during break to speak with their advisor, they all stood up for her. They sat down when they realized she wasn't one of their alums, but still! That is how it should be out of respect for the alums. I respected the older sisters/alums when I was in college, but now it seems most of them really don't care unless they feel like they aren't being respected! Guess I sound like my grandfather and his "kids today...." speech http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

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"Alpha Chi Omega - If you only had 2 wishes, what would your second one be?"

Yes, the "new members" of an organization should respect the older members, but only is that respect is returned. If the new guys are constantly getting shit on then they will have no respect for the older people. But if they can see what it really means to the older people they should respect them if nothing else for what they don't know yet. I think respect is the key for a flourshing establishment.

Should the newer members respect the older members and alums, as in treating them politely and graciously? Yes, of course.

Should the newer members kiss the older members' and alums' butts if the o.m.s and alums never do anything for the org? H-E-double toothpicks NO!!!

The best way to foster mutual respect? Try to forget who pledged when and get to know each other on a one-to-one level as people.

On a similar note how do you feel about age differences? As in, I was 21 when I pledged and athough I understood that the girls ahead of me deserved some respect for already being members...I just couldn't take some of the girls seriously knowing that they we're still freshman, and comparitively no very little about living life away from "mommy and daddy". They didn't understand having a fulltime job, bills (other then their credit cards), and they wanted respect from me?! I had a hard time taking the younger members seriously, while the older members and I got along amazingly. Was this wrong?
Please don't misunderstand I love my sorority and ALL of my sisters, I am especially refering to activites where I was "ordered" to do something.

[This message has been edited by NewInFL (edited November 14, 2000).]

One must earn respect--one must not feel she is entitled to a certain amount of respect just because she was initiated before you were. I'm not speaking of National visitors, because based on their stature, it shows that they are indeed respectable women. There are women, other Alpha Chis, that have done nothing to gain my respect, even though they may be older. I think this sense of entitlement regarding respect is what fuels many of the most severe hazing cases.

Thanks Deltabrat for your comment, You always have my back Soror.

Trish,
I would like to know how was I condesending when I didn't even offer an opinion. Or do you just not know the definition of the word?

Yes.



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Alpha Kappa Alpha
17-Alpha Phi-91

Most definately.

I have read this thread with some interest. In my frat it is a resounding YESSSSSSS!!!!
That pretty much goes without saying especially in BGLOs. You are taught to be humble and always respect those who came before you, and have paved the the path for you.

My accomplishments are due to my hard work, as well as the works of those who have come before me. To think anything other than that is to fool myself.

Their might be times when an older member might get on my last nerve, but out of deference, I will listen to what the brother has to say.

If you give yourself a chance, you can learn a lot about your org, as well as life by talking with these individauls. Yeah they get a kick out the respect that is given them, and in some cases it is an ego thing, but heah in most cases they deserve it, and I expect the same respect from members who have come under me.

Peace

MN

Yes, you should respect the older members in your organization and be humble. You can learn alot from older members.

On the flip side, there membership is not greater than yours. You have the same rights and priviliges (sp) as they do.

In my experience, deference is given based on your years as an XYZ, not you actual age. Cause when it comes down to BUSINESS, the members that have been in the organization longer are more wiser, know correct protocol, usually hold higher positions.... and should be given proper respect because of that.

I came in Spring 96--- most of my neos from 97 and 98 were my age or older, but I (and my sands) are entitled to a certain amount of respect just for making them......

If you all don't mind I would like to post a response that I gave in the AKA forum.

Although I was made after the MIP process was introduced, I was "prepared" by women in my family who pledged starting in 1963 until 1989. Something I was taught was humility, deference and discretion.

This does not mean that you are any less thatn a member of XYZ BUT it does mean a few things.
1. Regardless of grades and who much community service you have done. Even if you have done everything "right", they still have the right to reject you. This is something that all interest shoul know before they even think about going to a rush.
2. Deference means realizing that these people who came before you either helped you get it or have what you want and they are more experienced. I look at it like elders. You respect your elders because they are more wise when it comes to life. Likewise, I, even as a memberhave been taught to defer to anyone made before me(1997), not disrespected but to deferbecause they are generally more wise about AKA than I. If someone is putting a prospective or neo in his/her "place" it is not because they hate you but because there are certain ways that we as women/men should act. It is called protocal.
3. Maybe because I was "trained" by a different generation, but, I would have never dreamed of asking some of the questions and saying some of the things that some interests have said to members. It is as if the concept of deference as we in BGLO's know it has been distorted into attitude by interests. Now peopel think "XYZ or no XYZ, I'm not letting her/him talk to me like that". Usually, because they don't understand, they fail to realize that it is not about being nasty, it is often about helping you prepare for something that you will never understand until you get there.
I personally can not understand this new mentality. No, a woman should never be disrespected but since when did humility and deference become equal to disrespect. These lessons I have learned before and after I made line have helped guide me through life.
So while we should be nice to interest and respectful of neophytes, I still believe that all organizations and their mysticism should be sought and not just given. There does come a time when some of these "questions" should lead back to good ol'common sense. IF people applied their greek experience to real life , I think, that many questions would not be asked and perspectives would know the answers that they would receive.