Doctors telling people they're fat
 

Woman Offended by Doc's Obesity Advice 1 hour, 23 minutes ago



As doctors warn more patients that they should lose weight, the advice has backfired on one doctor with a woman filing a complaint with the state saying he was hurtful, not helpful.

Dr. Terry Bennett says he tells obese patients their weight is bad for their health and their love lives, but the lecture drove one patient to complain to the state.

"I told a fat woman she was obese," Bennett says. "I tried to get her attention. I told her, 'You need to get on a program, join a group of like-minded people and peel off the weight that is going to kill you.' "

He says he wrote a letter of apology to the woman when he found out she was offended.

Her complaint, filed about a year ago, was initially investigated by a panel of the New Hampshire Board of Medicine, which recommended that Bennett be sent a confidential letter of concern. The board rejected the suggestion in December and asked the attorney general's office to investigate.

Bennett rejected that office's proposal that he attend a medical education course and acknowledge that he made a mistake.

Bruce Friedman, chairman of the board of medicine, said he could not discuss specific complaints. Assistant Attorney General Catherine Bernhard, who conducted the investigation, also would not comment, citing state law that complaints are confidential until the board takes disciplinary action.

The board's Web site says disciplinary sanctions may range from a reprimand to the revocation of all rights to practice in the state.

"Physicians have to be professional with patients and remember everyone is an individual. You should not be inflammatory or degrading to anyone," said board member Kevin Costin.

Other overweight patients have come to Bennett's defense.

"What really makes me angry is he told the truth," Mindy Haney told WMUR-TV on Tuesday. "How can you punish somebody for that?"

Haney said Bennett has helped her lose more than 150 pounds, but acknowledged that the initially didn't want to listen.

"I have been in this lady's shoes. I've been angry and left his practice. I mean, in-my-car-taking-off angry," Haney said. "But once you think about it, you're angry at yourself, not Doctor Bennett. He's the messenger. He's telling you what you already know."




I can't decide how I feel about this. I think some people need a push, but if you're a doctor and offending people then that may be going a little too far. What do you guys think?

Sounds like she's just looking for a quick buck.

I actually saw the doctor on the Today show this morning a little bit ago. Evidently the woman in question is 5'7" and 250 pounds. I don't think anyone can say that her weight is not extremely high for her height. I'm 5'7" also and she weighs over a hundred pounds more than me.

The doctor said he had seen the woman multiple times and each time addressed the weight issue. Each time she did not make any efforts to lose weight. I can see how a doctor would get frustrated when all these health problems keep popping up and they can all be attributed to excess weight. However, he also apparently told her that she would be in the group of single overweight women when she gets older. Basically appealing (as Matt Lauer said) to her vanity more than her health. I can see how some people would find that offensive, but if telling someone that they are going to have health problems doesn't make an impact, I would hope a doctor would use other tactics!

As HYPOCRITCAL as I'm about to sound....


Maybe she should just lose the frickin weight?

I really don't see what's wrong with what he said - she needed to lose weight, and as her doctor he advised her as such. In addition, he wrote an apology when he didn't need to.

If she was so upset, she should find a new doctor.

I agree that doctors should be tactful, but WTF.

Next thing you know somebody will be diagnosed with cancer and will be offended.

It doesn't. But people these days who get offended when someone offfends them or does something they don't like generally sue.

I could only imagine what would happen to the doctor if he didn't persist to make suggestions to address her problem. If the patient later develops an illness because she didn't take off the weight. She could later say "Well I didn't think it was that much of a problem because the doctor didn't make it an issue".

He didn't use the word "fat" - he told her to "lose the weight that's going to kill her."

Guess what?

The weight IS going to kill her.

I know...I was thinking that too. I think the root of this issue is that people only WANT to hear good things from a doctor but they SAY they want a doctor to tell them the truth. If you're overweight you know it. It may be embarrassing to hear that others (like your doctor) notice it too, but maybe thats the kick in the pants someone needs.

Obviously this doctor has a poor bedside manner. But last I checked it wasn't illegal to be tactless, nor is it cause for dismissal from employment.

I have to agree with Stan on this one, she should just lose the weight.

I'm sorry, I don't even see where this is poor bedside manner. He didn't call her "fat," he didn't ridicule her, he told her that for her health she needs to lose weight.

It's his job to tell the patient that she's at a dangerous weight, and from what it sounds like, that's exactly what he did.

Sure, he was tactless, but he apparently was being honest. Wouldn't we have more of an issue with a doctor who wasn't honest?

I'm agreeing with KSigKid here. I don't see any tactlessness. He says he told her that she was obese -- a standard medical term.

He also told her (according to him on the Today show) that her obese husband would die before her statistically and she would end up in the group of single, obese women.

I think this is a little tactless, but if she wasn't getting the picture then he had to do something to make her see the gravity of the problem.

We don't know exactly what he said, we don't know his tone of voice. He also basically told her that she would be single for the rest of her life if she didn't lose weight. That's pretty tactless and shows some poor bedside manner to me. But that's not the point. I'm not on the said of his patient. I think no matter what he said, she needs to get over it because some people are always going to be mean and tactless and at the end of the day, he thought he was doing what was best for her.

Explain this sentence, it doesn't make any sense - how did he not call her fat 'to her face' but instead called her fat 'to the public'?

What
the hell?

This is his JOB.

Of course, I suppose it kind of depends on how he worded it, but maybe she needs to take some of that energy she spent on getting offended and use it to, I don't know, lose weight?

I can't imagine what it would be like to be a doctor who sees these patients probably multiple times a year, for health complaints that you KNOW are related to their weight, and knowing that these health complaints will only multiply in the coming years, and the entire time, they're refusing to do anything.

I'll attempt to explain. In my mind he has called her fat in public by talking about it on the news (Today show this morning). I think he did also call her fat to her face though. Not that I disagree completely with what he did.

That's what I'm thinking - it's your job to tell people they're being unhealthy, but once you do you're open to criticism. I understand that you don't want a physician to be rude about it, but there probably comes a point when physicians have to be stern with their patients.

Well hell if someone wants to act like they don't realize how big they are are; somebody needs to reiterate that fact and it mind as well be a doctor. Mind as well hear it from someone who will talk bad to you AND help you, then someone on the street cussing your big a** out just cause.

Doctor's office: You getting too dayum big Ms. SoandSo. Now I have a plan that can help you, help yourself.

On the street: Lady get your big a** out the way. Folks are in a hurry!!!!!!













teehee

Also better than ending up on an operating room/catherization room table after having a heart attack.

I completely agree, I was over 200lbs last fall and none of my doctors would say anything to me. I had horrible blood sugar problems and because of them I went on a diet similar to south beach that I still mostly follow. I would have loved it if my doctor was like hi your sugar problems are because you're fat. It would have made me realize that it was my weight that caused the problems instead of me thinking OMG I'M DYING.

I've since lost 70lbs and haven't had a sugar episode in a long time. I was shamed into it by comments people in my life made instead of doing it for a medical reason. I think the lady needs to get over it and lose the weight. You can't sue someone for telling the truth in a diagnosis.

YES! In April my fiance had to go to the hospital because he needed an emergency angioplasty. It was really scary. The doctor had told him in January that his EKG and his cholesterol were in the healthy range, but his blood pressure was high. Unfortunately, in April the doctor found that he had plaque build up in his vessels that could have caused a massive heart attack and death if untreated. He was very lucky. And he isn't even obese; he just needed to lose about 20 pounds which he has. The doctors are very pleased with his progress and all is well now.

Obesity is a major factor in early death from heart disease, diabetes, cancer, and stroke. The doctor would be remiss if he hadn't discussed her weight with the patient.

That's great that he's doing better - there have been a ton of impressive advances in cardiology over the years, and it's good that your fiancee has benefited and is doing well.

So many other problems can stem from obesity - better to be blunt than sugarcoat the effects.

We don't have all the information.

It is a doctor's job to alert his/her patients to any health problems they may be facing. If a patient is obese, the doctor needs to say something.

But the doctor also needs to be careful about how to tell a patient that s/he is overweight and should do something about it. This requires sensitivity to the patient and knowledge of his/her situation.

In this case, it sounds like the doctor had been seeing this patient for some time and had spoken with her about her weight before, and she hadn't done anything about it, so maybe a kick in the @$$ was warranted. At the same time, he could have given her a more tactful kick in the @$$ (does that make sense?).

I don't think he could have been more tactful about it. He was doing his job. He spoke with this lady about this several times before, and each time she refused to do something about it. At least this way he got it to stick in her mind for a little bit instead of going in one ear and out the other. And honestly, if she really is 5'7" and in the 250lbs. range, then I'm sure that her doctor isn't the only person who told her she needed to lose weight.

I've shadowed a doctor who had a patient write letters to him complaining about how he approached her weight issue. She came in to the Orthopedic surgeon I was following, complaining of back and shoulder pain.

She wasn't interested in physical therapy, so he simply said the best way to help ease her pain was to stop smoking and lose her excess weight. I was there for the appointment in question, and I saw the letter she wrote. While she was angry about a number of other things (time spent waiting, short visit length with the doctor, my presence in the examination room - which I might add he asked her if it was okay that I was in the room - the list went on) she spent the most significant portion of her time bitching about him only reccomending weight loss.

The point of the story is, tact or no tact, some people simply get upset over things that they shouldn't. As a future doctor, I know that my duty will be to promote the health of my patients, and while I'd like to think that each time I'll do so as tactfully as possible, I think I know that I'm not going to allow dancing around the issue to interfere with my duty as a physician. If this really was a patient he had seen over and over again, I believe that he was simply trying to emphasize the overall importance of his point.

My sister in law went to the gyno (a female) who told her for her age and size she needs to lose about 30 pounds because she is technically obese and this could lead to problems with conceiving.

My sister in law is STILL pissed a year later, but she hasn't done ANYTHING to take the weight off.
That's what kills me. The doc was being honest. But her defense is "Well, it isn't like I don't KNOW I need to lose weight but she basically told me I am too fat to have babies." No, that is not what she said at all.

People hate to be told to their face what their problems/shortcomings are and I think this is another issue of that. But the fact is, as her doctor, it is his job to try and help her become HEALTHY. She's obese, which leads to <insert over a hundred medical issues> what should he say "uhm, so, ya want some phen phen?"

(btw I know that is an illegal substance now, it was an example)

This woman obviously doesn't care about her health, and you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. At what point does the doctor just give up?
The more I think about this, the more I feel her doctor should probably just drop her as a patient. Can he do that? Because it seems to me, with this lady, nice doesn't work and mean doesn't work either. She's just not interested in losing weight.

He apparently told her that her husband (also obese) would die before her and she'd end up single and obese. That's tactless and hurtful. It's not her fault if her husband is obese.

She still needed the kick in the @$$. It seems to me that she hasn't accepted the fact that she has a problem - obesity. Unless and until she accepts that fact, she won't try to lose weight, because she doesn't think she has a problem.

My .02 on the whole deal: You know what? If a doctor hurts your feelings, get another doctor. Period. Tell your friends he was offensive-that will hurt his business...but complaining to the medical board about it? Please. He did what he needed to do, especially since he had discussed it before, presumably in a tactful way, and it didn't work!

Some people need only be told to chill out on the ice cream by a physician to get serious about losing weight-thank goodness there are doctors who are willing to talk about it now. I gained alot of weight with my first pregnancy. My doc hardly said a word...I visited her partner a few weeks b/f I delivered so I could meet her in case she had to cover for my doc, and after our intro's, she looked at the chart & said "you don't miss many meals, do you?" You'd think I would have been horrified, but I was so relieved that she said it - it was true, and I needed a physician to tell me to stop the madness. When I had my second child, I switched to her b/c I knew she would be straight with me from beginning to end. She told me in no uncertain terms not to gain an ounce over 25 pounds, and you know what? I didn't - simply because my doctor had told me not to....

Perhaps the best solution in this case, would have been for the doc to view the woman as a non-compliant patient, and simply inform her that she needed to find another physician - docs do it all the time when they have patients w/other diagnoses, like diabetes, etc., who refuse to follow doctor's orders...obesity should be no different. Shame on the state AG for going after this guy, when there are probably alot of other physicians out there getting away with REAL malpractice!

It's not tactless, it's the truth in no uncertain terms, according to the epidemiology of obesity (if you want to argue the merits of this application, fine, but don't argue the numbers).

It's not hurtful, unless she takes the doctor's advice as some sort of value judgement of her and her lifestyle, which would be a clear misrepresentation of his intentions from all indications.

The folks getting offended are just mad because somebody said something about them being big. As opposed to folks sniggling and giggling, talking about them behind their backs. Just more ashamed and embarrassed. Being overweight taps into that mental sh*t and folks get all willy nilly. So until they decide to do whatever it is they have to do to change, they will have to deal with all being big as h*ll entails.

Tact or no tact, fat or not fat. You can't have it all.

Just out of curiousity...what do you think he should have said???

It is tactless and hurtful to blame her for her husband's obesity. She can't control what he eats.

Yes, she needed a wake-up call. I've already said so in this thread. Telling someone they need to lose weight or face the complications of obesity is not tactless and hurtful. Telling them, "You are going to die alone and fat," is.

I don't think he was blaming her for her husband's obesity. He just said that since her husband is obese too he will likely die before her.