Baby Names
 

This forum has been very quiet lately. So I would like to spark some conversation.

I read about a sick little girl in a magazine. She was a two year old and her name was Talejashalexis. In some cultures, it may be the norm to have a name with 14 letters or more, but in African American culture, it is not. I have also come across a little girl recently, whose name is Nautica. And I know an adult woman whose name is Tangerine. What do you all think about giving children these kind of names? Think about when these children learn to write their names. Also think about how these children may be discriminated against when they fill out a job application or submit resumes to a company.


Any and all thoughts are appreciated.

Well,
For those of you that know me on this site, my name is FAAAR from your average name. But at the same time, it's not that long and outrageous. I do think its a valid point that those children may be discriminated against when it comes to job openings. Maybe their parents just didn't think of that. But its sad that that even has to be a factor in a decision like choosing a name.
Take this scenario:
One of my best friends' father (who is African American) named his new baby daughter "Carson Willow". I think it's a beautiful name.
BUT, his reason for giving this name was
A: He didn't want her to be blindly discriminated against (like on applications) for having a typical female name (hence "Carson")
B: And he didnt want her to be blindly discriminated for having a "BLACK" name (hence "Willow").
Now one might say that his intentions were good, but that hurt me so bad. Its like he is encouraging his daughter to DENOUNCE her WOMANHOOD AND HER BLACKNESS, rather than EMBRACE them. Those are 2 things that a minority woman needs to embrace in order to fully realize her worth in this world... especially if our cultures and gender are to ever gain any REAL power.
So, I wouldn't put too much into a name. I think my brother Shakespeare said it best with: "What's in a name. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet"

Enough rambling... just something to think about http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

SoloRHO

I WOULD agree w/ SoloRHO..BUT..
these names are getting RIDICULOUS!!

I am serious, it seems like people will name their children anything!!! Oh, boy, I wouldn't even run down the numerous ridiculous names I have come across. They are hard to spell, pronounce, remember. I know everyone wants their child to be unique and an uncommon name can be a start, but I think people put more effort into these silly names and less into RAISING unique and successful individuals.

I don't think these names could PREVENT people from attaining success, but seriously, it MUST be frustrating to ALWAYS have your name mispronounced, to ALWAYS have people ask you where'd you get a name like that, and to ALWAYS have people forget your name or make up nicknames for you that are easier to pronounce.

I guess I'll never understand because my name is very common, and I like it that way.

some parents are just not thinking!!!

Some names are cute for little kids, but these kids do grow up to be old people. It's not nice to say, but in the corporate world (especially in sales and marketing) your first impression can make or break you. And if a 40 year old woman by the name of Alize', Peaches, or Shay Shay is applying for a position, she can (and often times is) discriminated against simply because of her name!

For companies that are highly competitive in regards to recruitment, they receive tons of resumes and they throw sooooo many out just by their look. If IT doesnt look professional, or YOU dont sound professional, you can forget it.

BTW---I really like those ambiguous names like Tyler, Taylor, Carson, Erin.......dont know why!

Good afternoon lovely ladies. Forgive the intrusion, but me and my LB had this very same discussion not to long ago.

I personally love African names, and the meaning behind them. But I do believe that more thought should be given to what a person names their child. I was named after my father, and I am proud to bear his name, but I might have had a problem had they named me after something that he likes to drink like (Aleze'), or a car he wanted but can't afford (Lexus), shay shay, Ray Ray, or some of the other ghetto fabulous names that I am sure that all of us have heard.

When I am blessed with a child, I would love to give him a strong African name to go along with his regular American one.

While in college some of my friends took on African names, and we were the self riotous, warriors who would not bow down to "The Man." We just knew that what we would forever be warriors.

As time went on, we soon learned that the work world is very different from college. And there are a whole new set of rules that the game is played by. We should not handicap our children by sattleling them with some of these outrageous names. It is going to be hard enough for them when they get out here.

MN


[This message has been edited by ManndingoNUPE (edited October 24, 2000).]

I used to have a position where I reviewed applications and I used to laugh at all of the names I came across. Sometimes you can almost tell certain things about some people even before you meet them.

OMG
Et Tu BlueReign?
LOL
I guess yall all got me on this one.
But my position stands.
It still is horrible that a person's name can stop them from getting something (whether it be friends, a job, whateva) out of life. I'd hate to see that happen to me. And I'd hate to have some of you screening my applications in the future. It probably wouldn't be taken seriously, just because of my name.

Yeeep Out Pretty Poodles!

SoloRHO

[This message has been edited by SoloRHO (edited October 25, 2000).]

Greetings to All,

As a former teacher I can tell you the first day of class when one tries to pronounce a child's name can be hell.

Not only is it difficult for children to learn to spell names (you know how we change things like Deborah but pronounce it Devarah or Daborah) but I can't keep up myself.

When and if I ever get married - - oh and become a father - -I want my son's name to be Garrett Andrew (I've always liked the name Garrett and all the men in my family have the middle name Andrew. I like Ashton for a girl.

Great discussion ladies (and Gent!) http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

I do think parents do their kids a disservice when they saddle their kids with extra long, made up names with no significance. I have no probably with long, hard to pronounce names--if there is a reason for them (i.e. the meaning of the name, family name, etc.)--but what I do have a problem with is just straight up made up name. I have a cousin who named her son a multisyllable name. When my mother asked her the baby's name she couldn't even pronounce it, let alone spell it!! That is just crazy!! Now, with that being said I also have what some people will call an unusual name. People are forever mispronoucing it. I don't think it is that difficult so I try to "work with" people. (It's only 5 letter for goodness sakes, but it is one letter off from a more common name.) I do not allow them to give me nicknames or mispronouce my name.

Now in terms of people knowing who you are by your name...I attended an HBCU. Regardless of whether my name is Willow, Heather or Bonequesha Shanaynay, people will automatically assume that I am African-American!! I am certainly not going to hid my beloved Spelman so that folks won't discriminate against me!

straightBOS hit the nail on the head...it's about raising unique individuals not just naming them!!

Ok, My sons name is very long, but it has a meaning behind it and that is why I stand by my decision to name hime that.

His name is William C. Joseph-Marion

The william C. is after my grandmother, her name is willie c.(and I refused to have him stuck with the name willie as an adult male, it just doesn't seem right to me so I went with william)
Joseph-Marion is his middle name and Joseph is my great gandfathers name and Marion is my granfathers name.

I want my son to remeber that were ever he goes and what ever he puts his name on, he is repesenting a lineage of strong African-Americans.

Many wonder why I name him afeter my grandmother and that is because she is one of the strongest women I know. She passed away when I was in the third grade and I can remeber every year how we still celebrated her birthday and my mother has always instilled in me how strong and good of a person she was.

Also my son is the first male born into my maternal family in five generations that is why I want him to know that he is surrounded by a strong family and every time he writes his name he will know that
And for the record. He will be four in Decembert and he can spel his first name outloud and is currently working on writing it. He can also say his full name for all of you out their who think that that is too long of a name for a child to learn


Now to the idea of taking letters out of a bag and just making up a name....it is ridiculous. No child should have to be called alaze' for the rest of her life. Think of how that name woiuld bother this child if she was a teacher and the class was dicussing name orgins. Orif she was a minister or evangilist. That is just to ghetto and not cute at all. Strong african names are another thing however, they have a meaning behind them.

Whatever the case just be sure to set down and remeber that this child will one day be an aduly working for a company wearing siuts and heels on a daily basis, you don't want her/him to be stuck with Alaze or some STUPID name because you thought it was cute for a 3 week old child. Children grow up and they are stuck with and become what their name mean many times. Make sure it has a rich and friutfull meaning behind it.


http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gifNow I'm stepping off my soapbox. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

[This message has been edited by blu_theatrics (edited October 25, 2000).]

This is a deep discussion and it makes a lot of sense. It is good to know that I am not the only one that thinks a child should have a name that will reflect upon him as an adult. I have an 8 month old son and I named him Marquel (pronounce the q as if it was a K) and I thought about how it would sound calling him this as a grown man. I didn't want to give him a silly name just because I thought it was cute for someone his age. I hope I gave him a name that people will not discriminate him for having. But I must agree with SoloRHO. No one should have to worry about whether or not their name will keep them from getting the job they want, or helping them to get far in life. However, parents do need to put a little thought into a child's name and stop naming them after alcholic drinks, or coming up with names that make no sense at all.

Yiiip Out

[This message has been edited by EspeRHO (edited October 25, 2000).]

Thank you for sharing your opinions ladies and gentlemen. I have a very uncommon name as well, but it is a hebrew name and has a significant meaning.

Also, I'm glad to see Blu_Theatrics back in the swing of things. What does the C. stand for in Willie C? Just being nosy http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

I just wanted to clarify something I said based on blu_theatric's post. When I said 'long name' I meant a long, no significance, first name. I think it's wonderful when a name has family significance. It truly ties the child to their heritage.

Your son's name made me think a bit. I am married and hypenate my last name. But, I did not like the way the name sounded with my maiden name first, so I put my husband's last name first. Example:
Maiden name: Wanda Jones
Husband's last name: Williams
New Name: Wanda Williams-Jones instead of Jones-Williams.

People give me such grief about that! You would think I was married to them!! It also confuses the heck out of folks because they want to call my hubby Mr. Jones if they meet me first! I'm glad he is a secure man!! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

I use my entire name: First name, middle initial and hypenated last name. People told me I would get tired of writing it, but I don't (and it's been almost 5 years). It also ticks me off when people (especially customer service people) want to call me by part of my last name instead of the entire thing! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/mad.gif

blu_theatrics, is your son's first name William or William C.?

I agree with Eclipse. I meant long first names as well.

This is off the subject, but I also intend to hyphenate my last name when I marry. I have actually met some men that disapprove of this. I can't imagine why.


------------------
We often give our enemies the means for our own destruction.

Aesop c550 BC

MIDWESTDIVA: are you really confused? Its non-traditional and the only real purpose that it serves is to satiate the ego of the woman. It is symptomatic of the state of gender relationships. Your name signifies that you are your own woman. A single, financially and emotionally stable, whole person, who does not need a man nor his name to validate her. That is the real ideology behind keeping ones name. When a man and woman marry, they become one entity, not two seperate whole ones thrown together. For a unified relationship to last it must be headed in the same direction and on the same page. To hyphenate your name suggests that some part of you wants to be your own person, indicating that you are empowering yourself above the goal and purpose of a union. When the unity candle is lit, what once was two becomes one, there is not a little hyphenated candle left lit in the corner. I know that hyphenated names are small and trivial, but it is symptomatic of the larger problems afflicting gender relationships. Everyone in my house will have the same name, parents, and siblings. It eliminates the confusion and energies can be combined and directed in its most powerful form: unified and with a common purpose. Sorry for invading ladies.

[This message has been edited by DoggyStyle82 (edited October 26, 2000).]

Do you ladies not have a reply for DoggyStyle82?

Ohhhh, it looks like the gentlemen are seekng the insight of the ladies of Sigma Gamma Rho. LOL
Well, DoggyStyle, I don't consider it an invasion. I like when other Greeks come visit and share.

But anyway, I'm 'bout to pick your post apart! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif
You may be right about satiating the womans ego. (But, Im still VERY young, and may not be the best person to give an opinion on marriage and such.)
But you said a woman's name signifies that she is "A single, financially and emotionally stable, whole person, who does not need a man nor his name to validate her." THIS IS TRUE, and SHOULD NOT change after a woman is married (except for the single part). A woman, be she single or married, SHOULD be financially independent, emotionaly stable and a whole person. No woman should be completely dependant on her husband for these things. As a matter of fact, I'll even go to say that no marriage can work unles both parties are stable in these and other aspects of life. But I digress...
This union that you speak of, what is that union when it comes to money and emotion? 50/50---> with each person bringing the best there is?
Or more like 20/80---> with the woman depending on her husband for financial and emotional support. In essence, like you implied, the husband validating her.
THIS (second scenario) is sympotomatic (to steal your word for a minute http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif) of the state of some women after divorce. Take a look at the flip side:
Now, I could easily argue the flip side of your argument. What if a woman and man get TOO comfortable with the idea of that union? God forbid, things don't work out, or it becomes abusive, the man dies, etc... If a woman DOESN'T or HADN'T held on to her INDIVIDUALITY, when she is left alone she FEELS alone, out of control, useless, and hopeless, when divorce or the reaper come a knocking. AND she now feels as if she can't make it. Her husband validated her for so long, she's forgotten what it is to be an independent woman.

Now I know that everything I've said doesnt always happen that way. But doggystyle's argument that keeping a name is problematic isn't true all the time either.

Like I said, Im still young so I'm eager to hear all sides of this debate. I can walk into future relationships and marriage with a better undersanding of this scenario. Sorors, what do you think?

SoloRHO
PEACE: Proper Education Always Corrects Error

PS: DoggyStlye, you never know how things may "come accross" in these posts. I didn't mean this post to be an attack on you or your beliefs. Be out!

[This message has been edited by SoloRHO (edited October 27, 2000).]

DoggyStyle,

I fail to see how hyphenating a surname is causing confusion in families or gender relations. Just because I want to keep my last name does not mean that I will love my future husband any less. Nor does it mean that I will try to be the head of our household. Maybe it really is an ego thing for me. However, there are many couples in the divorce courts today, where the woman did drop her last name and take her husband's. I really think it's an ego thing for men when they become upset about a woman wanting to hyphenate his last name onto hers.

Also, hyphenating last names is the norm in Latino culture. They tend to become very offended when people knock their naming system. I don't see that it has caused them to have any gender related problems. I'm not Latino, just something to think about.

Interesting comments DoggyStyle82. These are some of the same comments that I heard from friends when I decided to continue to use my maiden name professionally and hypenate my name legally after I married almost 5 years ago.

I believe that 'leaving and cleaving' is something that truly happens in the heart. My decision has/had nothing to do with with ego or my desire to put my self/goals above our union.

But let's go back to one of your first statements. Hypenated last names are, as you put it, not traditional. Why is that? As Midwestdiva pointed out, in some cultures it is the norm for people to hypenate their last names and for children to take the name of the mother as well. My husband (who is a strong and secure Black man!) offered to hypenate his name as well so we would have the same last name. Would you have been willing to do this DoggyStyle82? What about the other fellas out there that may be silently reading? I told him it wasn't necessary, especially since I did not want our children to have hypenated last names.

Last point...you are right in that I was a single, emotionally and (somewhat) financially stable person before my husband and I married. So was he. I hope all people are before they permanantly join their soul with another. I was not, however, whole. You see, my Father made me especially to be my husband's help meet. We complete each other. There is no doubt in his mind, my mind or anyone's mind that is around us for more than 10 minutes that he is my husband and that I love and respect him dearly and look to him as the head of my household.

MIDWESTDIVA, SOLORHO and ECLIPSE: maybe I did not make myself clear. It is not bad to be financially and emotionally independent. One should always be that. Nor should marriage or a man validate a woman. My point is that this attitude is not conducive to a good marriage on the whole(my name, my money, I can go anywhere, do what I want attitude). I am sincerely glad that it works for you Eclipse (truly) Whether a woman can stand on her own two feet should the marriage dissolve is secondary. As it is for a man. A woman keeping her name is an ego thing. I'm a traditionalist, don't go much for "new wave". I would never take a womans' name, but I wouldn't knock a man that would. I have no problem with a woman keeping her professional name either (just good business sense). However, in our home, all correspondence, introductions, invitations, will say Mr. and Mrs Same Last Name. If you still want to be Ms.Jones, you don't need me, so there is no need to bear "our" children, share "our" home, or "our" income. The Latin argument is specious, because that is another culture. American born Latinos have one last name, if married, it is the husbands.

I can see that.
Besides, tradition is a good thing. For the record, IF I marry, I do plan to take my husbands name. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

SoloRHO
PEACE: Proper Education Always Corrects Error

PS: On another topic (simalarly related) What do you all think of this:
An unwed couple has a baby. It's understood that the child will live with their mom. Do you think the child should take the mother's last name or father's last name? (I'm a product of this situation. And I got into a LONG, heated-- yet respectful-- debate with a good friend about this) I'd like to hear what some of you think before I give my opinion.

I have enjoyed these responses! I am one of those women who tried the hyphenated last name only because I thought of myself as independent and apart from my husband. After a few years I dropped my name and only use his. This was only because after some years of marriage I realized that it was not just "mine" or "yours" but "ours". Now I admit that I never really liked my maiden name as a child and am proud to have his.

As far as a child's last name of an unwed couple I think it is up to the couple to discuss what last name should be taken. If they are planning to get married, the child should take the father's name.

I still think it is possible to have a hyphenated last name and have an our/we attitude with regards to the marriage. If a person puts their own goals before the goals of the marriage, then they are just selfish and possibly immature. Because a woman chooses to hyphenate her last name, does that automatically mean that she is selfish and immature? Of course not. Then the flip side of this is that there are selfish and immature husbands out there as well. Since men don't usually change their surnames when they marry, it is safe to assume that hyphenating a last name has little or nothing to do with being selfish or making your marriage secondary to self. And I also know many American born Latino women who hyphenate their last names. I work in a call center and I asked some of the bilingual representatives about it before I posted my first response. I like my last name as it is very unusual and there is a family reputation behind it. So therefore, I'm keeping it. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

As far as my children are concerned, they will always have their father's last name. I have many southern friends that say traditionally, a woman's children should always have the same last name that she has, so if she is unmarried, the children will not have their father's last name. I don't necessarily agree with this, but to each his own.

[This message has been edited by MIDWESTDIVA (edited October 29, 2000).]

I just so happened to stumble upon this topic and found it very interesting, so I thought I'd add my say.

As far as long/unusual names go, I have one, but I'm proud of it, since it has significance, and like Eclipse, it drives me crazy when people pick and choose which parts they want to call me. I have my first and middle names, then my grandmother's maiden name, because there are no men in the family to carry that name down any farther, and finally, my father's last name.

As far as weddings go, I intend to take my husband's last name when I marry. To me, an important part of marriage my father giving me to my husband. In this transaction it only seems right to put away my father's name and take my husband's. But to each their own..I realize that the way I was brought up is considered very old-fashioned.

P.S. well, there's all that I said above, and also the fact that if I were to marry my current boyfriend and hyphenate my name, I would become
Ginger Anne Wright Gerondale-Novakoski
and that is just a mouthful!!! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

DoggyStyle82, I think you are making an assumption that a woman's desire to keep her maiden name is indicitive of an 'attitude' of my name, my money, etc. I think it is important to realize that each person's reasons for making this 'nontraditional' choice is different. As a man, no one has, nor probably ever will, ask you to change your name, which as been a part of you since birth, to 'prove' that you committed to your family. As a matter of fact, this culture does not require men do a whole lot to prove that they are 'spoken for' (i.e. engagement rings for women, etc.).

ECLIPSE: I'm not attacking anyones decision. I just have a strong opinion. This is America and individuals have the right to pursue happiness. If keeping your maiden name while married makes you happy, I'm all for it (seriously). I just don't like confusing the mailman. BTW, on the original topic, some of y'all picked some serious "Caucasian" names. Kaitlyn? Jacob?. Every other white kid in kindergarten has those names (along with Taylor, Brittany, Emily, ugh!!!). I don't like ghetto either, but I won't be calling lil' Buffy and Tyler in to wash up for dinner.

Good topic. I'll add my two cents if I may, Sister Sorors of SGRho. On names: my sweetie has a horrible name, and I can't figure for the life of me what his mother was thinking when she named him. It's either really pretentious, or really ghetto. My name is rather unusual, although most people really like it. I have no children, but I would like my girls to have the same initial as I. I haven't given much thought to the boys--maybe their father's first initial? (Never, ever his name, esp. not my sweetie's. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif)

On last names of married folk: I've thought about hyphenating my last name, because I fear I may be the only one to carry on my father's name, which is VERY important to me. I've thought about discussing whether my hubbie to be would be interested in hyphenating both our names. What I'm now leaning toward, I think, is to change my middle name to my maiden name (i.e. Hillary Rodham Clinton or my mother), and giving my children my maiden name as one of their middle names (maybe even one having it as a first name). I know this is has been commonly done for generations in situations where the woman's family name needs to stay as visible as her husband's name.


------------------
Finer Womanhood: the "Cat's Meow" Since 1920

Hello Ladies of Sigma Gamma Rho,

If I may jump in. My best friend had a baby just a couple of months of ago and her main thing was to think of a name that wouldn't determine the race right off. She ended up choosing Malcolm, I guess to keep the initials of the baby's half-brother. But when I hear Malcolm, I think black. The names I have chosen for my children (if I am blessed to have any) would probably make people think black. Of course, I would have to discuss this with the father, but I don't think the names would be too hard to pronounce and I don't plan on giving them nicknames that may cause embarrassment later. (i.e. My 17 year-old, 6'3" cousin we still call Pookie)

On the other issue, I was discussing this very thing with my dad the other night. I told him that I've considered hyphenating my name also. My question to those that have a problem with women doing this is... "Why should the woman lose her identity or be made to feel that her family name/history is less important than the husband's."
If the mailman or anyone else gets confused, simply educate them.


[This message has been edited by c&c1913 (edited October 31, 2000).]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by DoggyStyle82:
I don't like ghetto either, but I won't be calling lil' Buffy and Tyler in to wash up for dinner.

LOL! I think it is interesting that men also think about their future children's names. I noticed that Profesor has some possible names picked out, and DoggyStyle82 has his preferences as well. I don't know why I never realized that men think about these things too.

DoggyStyle, I never for once thought you were attacking me! I hope I did not come off defensive. I just like debating. I agree with you. If you and your wife are happy with your decision it is wonderful. Me and my best friend laugh all the time that there is NO way we could have married each other's husbands but we are both very happy!! To each his (or her) own http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

You have proven my point. Maybe it is too subtle, but it is right in your quote. What identity are you losing? A woman gains the title of wife, homemaker, mother. You are still your parents daughter and an individual, but a wife first. Your indivuality and family ties become secondary. Hillary ceased being a wife to her husband and became a business partner, thats why she added her maiden name. Your question implies that the traditions of marriage either stifle or subjugate a woman and her sense of self or individuality. On keeping maiden names in the family, I know many white people who have their mothers maiden name as their middle name (girls included).

I wanted to keep names in the family, but my father and uncles all have "slave" names like Rufus, Leroy, and Floyd. I looked at my son and said "I can't do that to you little fella". My son has a sensible first name, neutral (not trendy white suburban and not ghetto),his name connotes power and authority and is very professional. His first middle name is my fathers first name, and his 2nd middle name is African.

It is not uncommon for southern Black women who were not given middle names at birth, to use their maiden name as a middle name after they marry. My stepmother has done this and I know of others who have done this also.

It's not just a 'white' thing.

Just because I marry you doesn't mean I'll become a mother or homemaker, but yes I am your wife. It doesn't matter what name I use. We have the certificate and have taken vows so, I am your wife regardless of if my name is hyphenated or not. For example, if my last name was Kennedy. That name has a lot of history to it, but if I marry Joe Blow and don't include that, I think I've lost a part of my history/identity/self.

"Hillary ceased being a wife to her husband and became a business partner, thats why she added her maiden name."

She is his wife and he is her husband. It's a partnership and not a business. If she was to leave him and his name today, she would have to go through a lot of paper work to go back to her maiden name.

"I wanted to keep names in the family, but my father and uncles all have "slave" names like Rufus, Leroy, and Floyd. I looked at my son and said "I can't do that to you little fella". My son has a sensible first name, neutral (not trendy white suburban and not ghetto),his name connotes power and authority and is very professional. His first middle name is my fathers first name, and his 2nd middle name is African."

Yes, they may considered "slave" names, but they're family names too. I'm named after my Dad and he was named after a white man my grandmother worked for. Our last name comes from a slave owner in Alabama. So there is history right there.

All in Coleman Luv....



[This message has been edited by c&c1913 (edited November 01, 2000).]

His first name is william c.
And it took almost an entire year to convince the social security office that I was sure that was his name, but that is another story all together http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

As far as the changing name after marrage thing, I must say that I think I would have no problem taking my husband's name completely. However, I remeber when I was thinking about going into politics and I was engaged at that time (another long story) but he had a common last name, Jackson and my last name is not as common, so I thought of keeping my name, because I knew that people would remeber me in the community, also my brother (who had my last name) was a semi-celebrity basketball player of the region I lived in so I wanted to keep my name just for the effect it would have. But to make a long story short, while I was engaged and me and my fiance' lived together and ordered wedding things I always used his name because I didn't have to spell it out, also we did find that it was easier to do somethinghs by me just answering to ms. Jackson, and it just became habit. To this day there are times when I will call-in a food order and with out thinking say Jackson as the last name, (something that I truly want to stop doing)

But that was completely off the subject. My point is that if I had became married and still went into politics, my name would have been a better one for me and this is why some women, especially ones with established careers keep there name

We will agree to disagree. Obviously, you don't get the point. Why would I marry a woman who didn't want to be a wife (i.e mother and homemaker) There is more to a marriage than spousal companionship. Marriage is not a partnership, it is an institution unto itself like no other. Hillary is Clinton's partner and thats it. He gets professional support from her and he gives her her platform and sense of importance. But she is not his wife or else he wouldn't be getting head in the Oval Office. She stated herself that she is no "Tammy Wynette." But I digress. I love you anyway Soror, much Coleman luv (or should that be Brown-Coleman luv, lol)

Thanks blu_theatrics,
Like I said earlier, I think there is something POWERFUL about giving your child a family name--even if it is something unusual or 'old-fashioned' (I refuse to say 'slave names' like someone else did--there were no Africans that I know of before colonization named Robert or Michael or any other 'nice' names). My husband's family has that tradition and I hope to continue it.

Ohhhhhh....I wouldn't go there if I were you, brother!!

If I recall correctly, you were the one who said Hillary became Bill's business partner.

I was looking at the wife, mother, homemaker idealism from what would be considered "non-tradititonal" to most people. What if the couple is infertile or chooses not to have children? There goes the mother part. Or if the husband likes to cook, clean, and do other household chores? Some women can't cook, sew, or keep a house, so there went the homemaker. But in the end, they are still husband and wife. That's the point of that issue I was trying to make.

LOL@ Brown-Coleman Luv.... http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

[QUOTE]Originally posted by DoggyStyle82:
On keeping maiden names in the family, I know many white people who have their mothers maiden name as their middle name (girls included).

I also wanted to add that 6 of Sigma Gamma Rho's 7 founders names are listed on the international website in this form (first name, maiden name, married name). That just goes to show that you don't have to be white to use your maiden name as as middle name. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

Mary Lou Allison Little, Dorothy Hanley Whiteside, Vivian White Marbury, Nannie Mae Gahn Johnson, Hattie Mae Dulin Redford and Bessie M. Downey Martin.

[This message has been edited by MIDWESTDIVA (edited November 05, 2000).]

People never know what to expect when I go to a job interview. I am a black woman, but my first name is Indian, and my last name is Jewish.