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Let's Talk About the AI Forum
Alright, this thread is being started as a place where we can politely generate ideas to better streamline the AI forum until John can resolve the major issues. We're all smart people -- perhaps we can put our heads together and come up with an idea that will resolve most of the issues. :D
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"In addition of having "go to's" for AI, the forum needs to take a page from the NPHC sororities regarding pursuit. Any questions for sponsorship need to be taken directly first to the said sorority of the PNAI's pursuit. Period. If a woman wants to know how to AI into ABC then they should get off of their butts and email the national website. It's an email -- not the Bataan death march. How about them using the search button on GC? I'm sure it gets lonely sometimes. Although I appreciate the amount of online handholding that goes on in threads, that's where the buck should stop. There should be a list similiar to Kelly's that let's PNAIs know it's not easy and to have their ducks in a row. PNAIs have to remember that mutual selection occurs at the local level first. Octavia Online may be a sister to the group of her dreams but Octavia may not live in PNAI's area. The majority of NPCs I believe have taken any AI information out of public arena. That's cool -- it's their business. If ABC doesn't give you the answer you wanted to hear, tough toejam. Either join ABC or move on. If after the experience the new PNAI wants to out the organizations she's contacted, that's fine." (I wish I could take credit for it being put so eloquently, but I can't.) Are there any comments about the above suggestions? Other than calling for a new moderator or deleting the entire forum, what additional suggestions do you have? |
I've said it before and I'll say it again:
I think that this forum is dangerous because people are using it instead of relying on official channels to gather information. People on message boards are (relatively) anonymous, and unless you're willing to do some super sleuthing, there's no way to know for certain if the person who's sharing information is actually a member of the organization they claim to represent. When I started the AI process, I posted my AI thread in this forum because I thought the information there might be helpful to someone who was going through the process. Now that all has been revealed through the fullness of time, I wish I'd never done it. It has nothing to do with being a hypocrite, or being two-faced, or forgetting where I came from. It has everything to do with the viral nature of this message board and the communication contained herein and how the Executive Offices of the Fraternities/Sororities here have no means to control this communication. So now that I've said all that long-winded hoo-hah (:D), I'll just say this: * I think this forum should be limited to listing a group of Men's Fraternities/Women's Sororities that have alumni initiation processes. * It should not tell people how to contact these organizations, especially not in open conversation. * It should not be a clearinghouse for successful AI stories. People read them and think that these anecdotes are the law of the land - and they're quite simply not. * If alumni/ae initiates wish to have their names listed as "successful" candidates, then that should stand. * There should be some sort of "sticky" message that appears at the top of the forum that answers the Frequently Asked Questions that we see again and again. * If fraternity/sorority members wish to help potential initiates connect with their local alumni/ae chapters, then do it via PM - not in an open forum. Gee, does it show I've thought a whole lot about this? :D |
Any questions for sponsorship need to be taken directly first to the said sorority of the PNAI's pursuit. Period. If a woman wants to know how to AI into ABC then they should get off of their butts and email the national website.
This really is the solution right there. If they do this,then it involves no one on GC unless they meet as a result of being from the PNAI's area. This is the way that many of us very first AI's did it. There was no online handholding and guidance so to speak. We just did what we had to do. Quite frankly, and this is strictly my opinion the online handholding gets a little tedious afterwhile and honestly it is what makes me think a candidate might be a little suspect as someone who isn't looking for sisterhood but is just looking for a method of personal validation. Once again,that is just strictly my opinion The fact that many organizations have chosen to move their information from public to private access is telling to me. It makes me wonder if they are going to adher more to the invitation only method of years ago. So perhaps with that in mind,it would be best to just refer any questions to the respective HQs. Maybe sticky a link to each org's HQ at the top of the forum. |
Okay, currently the threads that are stickied to the top of the AI forum are this one and this one. I think that second one that Tom posted would be a GREAT one to edit and post a rules/FAQ section. What about something like the following:
AI Forum Advice for PNAIs *Alumni Initiation is not done by every GLO. (List of women's/men's GLOs that have an AI process goes here.) *Any questions regarding the AI process or AI sponsorship need to first be taken directly to the said GLO of your pursuit. Period. If you want to know how to AI into ABC then you should contact the national organization. Finding the contact information is easy -- do a search online using a search engine such as Google. *Remember that mutual selection occurs at the local level first. If fraternity/sorority members wish to help PNAIs connect with a local alumni/ae chapter, it should be done via PM -- NOT in an open forum. *There are hundreds of AI threads here that have so much information in them -- there is no need to ask anyone here what to do to start your journey. Please utilize the SEARCH function located at the top of the screen. *Please realize that if you use GreekChat to contact a member of the GLO you are pursuing, you are doing so at your own risk. People on message boards are (relatively) anonymous, and unless you're willing to do some super sleuthing, there's no way to know for certain if the person who's sharing information is actually a member of the organization they claim to represent. *Do NOT expect anyone on GreekChat to hold your hand throughout the AI process, unless you already know each other in real life (and, chances are, they still won't hold your hand). *Realize that the success stories you read here are NOT the standard -- AI can be a long and difficult process. |
And, I've said this before, and I'll say it again....
This forum helped me more than I can express. I had already been a year or two into my AI journey, but had hit a stumbling block. I was very discouraged, and confused by the time I found GC. This forum gave me some inspiring stories to read to keep my spirits up during the roller coaster ride. It also provided me with some contacts who helped me understand WHY things had stalled. And, it provided me with a few people to PM with to ask, "I just heard from this person who said this... what do you think that means?". One of these people went above and beyond the call of duty, and found out exactly where the ball had been dropped. Once she sorted things out for me, I was initiated in a matter of months. And yes, it was Navene's list that gave me some names to contact. I PM'd two-- one never answered, but the other put me in touch with someone from another GLO who had a lot of knowlege about AI. She, in turn, contacted a ZTA who she knew-- who was able to get things moving again. I truly believe I would still be in PNAM purgatory had this forum not existed. So.. the bottom line... I think the forum was perfectly fine and functional the way it was before it was attacked. |
AXiD670, I agree with all of your suggestions.
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I am in agreemnt that someone should moderate for the NPC groups that do AI. I have also disliked Mr. Earp making statements when he has no clue what he's talking about.
If those people going thru the process want to let us know about their membership in their new group---I'm all for it. I can understand how they might discuss their process and the frustrations or joys of going thru it. Isn't that what all those young college students do? We don't tell them they can't write their rush stories, can't contact us, can't PM us or can't ask for recommendations. I always thoght it strange that people here would write a rec for someone they really know nothing about. No, we shouldn't promise anything or "hold their hands" while hey go thru the AI process. But that should hold true for ALL potential members of our organizaions. I do agree they should be directed to the organization they are interested in---both national and local. Let's face it, in the end, that's the only way they are ever going to be invited to join. |
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Let's just agree to disagree, 'k? |
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Yes,this is a definite. I understand that there there are many who find these threads useful but ,in a nutshell, it should be up to the candidate who is wants to pursue AI,to take some initiative and contact the organization of her choice not a stranger on a message board. In my mind that is the win win solution. That shows to me,that hey,this woman wants this because she is willing to get off her duff and do the work to get it. If nothing else,it shows a willingness to work and take charge.What is the point of initiating someone who isn't going to be willing to work for your organization. Anyone who isn't going to do anything for themselves,isn't going to do anything for your organization. I am not sure why this point is not getting across to PNAI's but I know of at least 4 organizations on this board that have or had Nat'l officers who post. So it just goes to show that the people that you might be ticking off might be the very people that you need to impress. That is why discretion is so key. |
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Maybe being a new initiate you don't quite understand b/c you've never been through it on the sorority side that membership selection is a private, ritualistic process. Do you want people who are not ZTAs giving out (false) information about ZTA's membership selection process? |
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PNAMs want membership in an organization. They are seeking it, the org is not seeking them. If they want that, they need to make the effort to obtain it on their own, and not try to get someone to do a lot of the work for them and hold their hand. PNAMs are all adults, and if an adult cannot take the initiative to send an email or make a phone call, they likely aren't the kind of person that will be a strong member who contributes to the org. We want members who have initiative and who will get things done. |
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If that stranger on a message board is 1) in your area and 2) a member of the group you would like then I see no reason not to contact that person. And there may be planty of other reasons to contact an individual ona GLO about AI and it's up to that member to decide how she is going to respond. |
Okay, let's talk about the AI forum! It's about time we determined what we, the users, want in this particular subforum. A lot of the prior ideas have merit, but we all (we meaning anyone who reads this forum--AIs and non-AIs equally) need to remember that AI is unique to every NPC group and for each PNAM. Yes, the process may be similar for all AOII AIs or all Gamma Phi AIs (purposely choosing two NPCs who have AI programs in place). What happened between Annie Alumna and ABC isn't going to be the same for Nancy New-Alum and DEF, and so on.
However, we need to remember that for some NPC groups directly contacting is a big no-no. I believe (and please correct me if I am wrong) these groups do special or honor initiations on their invitation and usually do not accept direct inquiries into AI-ing into their groups. Just another example that any general statement would need to be worded VERY carefully. If we are going to share information, we would want it to be as accurate as possible without veering into anything even remotely related to MS procedures. |
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Or what if those groups were left off the list completely? As to your first point, what if we added something like this statement to the list of "bullet points" we already have (assuming everybody agrees with all of them): *Please remember that AI is unique to every GLO and for each PNAM. What happened between Annie Alumna and ABC isn't going to be the same for Nancy New-Alum and DEF, and so on. |
Right, well the question posed is what we could do to better stream line this sub-forum.
I'm not into having arguments with people; I'm all about creating real and reasonable solutions. I recently updated the AI Roll Call List as a compromise between the people who wanted to keep it and the people who wanted it down. There is now a disclaimer above the list. I posted the added material for discussion and it was largely ignored. I'm going to post it again below in hopes that this revision will at least go some of the way towards addressing the concerns that some people have regarding this sub-forum. Any thoughts? .....Kelly :) ~~~ Please keep in mind the following points: ~~~ 1) This informational list is presented as a means of celebrating those who have achieved alumni initiation. Out of the hundreds of thousands of fraternity and sorority members in existance, only a small handful are initiated as alumni. Please do not see this long list of names and be fooled into thinking that it is easy to become an AI. The reason that there are many people on this list is because GreekChat has a very large membership base. There are over 47,000 people on GC and 39 AIs listed....that's only .08%. 2) Just because one may see certain sororities represented more frequently on the list, this does NOT imply that they are "easier" to get into. I highly encourage you to evaluate all of your options and seek out an organization you identify with in your heart. Do not go for one because "it looks like they alum initiate more people". 3) Please be advised that this list is for information purposes only - this is NOT a list of people who are willing to sponsor potential AIs. Please refrain from contacting strangers on the internet and asking them if they can help sponsor you. There are several threads in this forum which offer lots of helpful advice on how to approach this process. |
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It seems the rest would be appropriate to remain in your original thread -- unless, of course, other posters feel it bears repeating in another thread. |
I've tried to put a summary together of everyones' (AXiD670, SmartBlonde, AriesRising, Midwesterngal, AOIIalum, Navane, Sistermadly and others) AI Forum advice that as AXiD670 suggested could put in a FAQ thread, stickied to the top:
AI Forum Advice for PNAIs *Alumni Initiation is not done by every GLO. (List of women's/men's GLOs that have an AI process goes here and put an asterik or a note next to the group indicating they DO NOT accept direct inquiries) *Any questions regarding the AI process or AI sponsorship need to first be taken directly to the said GLO of your pursuit. Period. If you want to know how to AI into ABC then you should contact the national organization. Finding the contact information is easy -- do a search online using a search engine such as Google. *Remember that mutual selection occurs at the local level first. If fraternity/sorority members wish to help PNAIs connect with a local alumni/ae chapter, it should be done via PM -- NOT in an open forum. * Realize that finding your home through AI is not an easy option and the success stories you read here are NOT the standard -- AI is a long and difficult process, and may take many months or years, and you may or may not be successfull, and IN All CASES, Membership is by Invitation Only * Ask yourself these 2 question before you start your seach: 1. Why do I want to be an AI? 2. What can I contribute to an NPC org? If you can not answer those two questions, stop dead in your tracks until you can. *There are hundreds of AI threads here that have so much information in them -- there is no need to ask anyone here what to do to start your journey. Please utilize the SEARCH function located at the top of the screen. *Remember that AI is unique to every NPC group and for each PNAM. What happened between Annie Alumna and ABC isn't going to be the same for Nancy New-Alum and DEF *Please realize that if you use GreekChat to contact a member of the GLO you are pursuing, you are doing so at your own risk. People on message boards are (relatively) anonymous, and unless you're willing to do some super sleuthing, there's no way to know for certain if the person who's sharing information is actually a member of the organization they claim to represent. * Feel free to contact a GC member via PM if you notice she lives in your area and is a member of one of the groups with whom you are already in contact. However, do not be offended if you do not get a response -- AI can be a sensitive subject that many members are not willing to discuss. *Do NOT expect anyone on GreekChat to hold your hand throughout the AI process, unless you already know each other in real life (and, chances are, they still won't hold your hand). I also like Navane's inputs for the top of the AI Roll Call Thread. 1) This informational list is presented as a means of celebrating those who have achieved alumni initiation. Out of the hundreds of thousands of fraternity and sorority members in existance, only a small handful are initiated as alumni. Please do not see this long list of names and be fooled into thinking that it is easy to become an AI. The reason that there are many people on this list is because GreekChat has a very large membership base. There are over 47,000 people on GC and 39 AIs listed....that's only .08%. 2) Just because one may see certain sororities represented more frequently on the list, this does NOT imply that they are "easier" to get into. I highly encourage you to evaluate all of your options and seek out an organization you identify with in your heart. Do not go for one because "it looks like they alum initiate more people". 3) Please be advised that this list is for information purposes only - this is NOT a list of people who are willing to sponsor potential AIs. Please refrain from contacting strangers on the internet and asking them if they can help sponsor you. There are several threads in this forum which offer lots of helpful advice on how to approach this process. Any comments, additions, deletions or corrections? |
If everyone is happy with iastategal,s post above I would like to repost it as a Sticky at the top with some editing.
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This might be nitpicky, but you should probably write out Potential New Alumnae Initiate in the thread title because I'm wondering if some of these people don't know our lingo. You have to admit that sometimes it looks like we're writing in code.
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what about a link to each of the org's websites...or a link to the npc's website page that posts all of the links to the org's sites?
i think it is fair to state the orgs which do not do ai at all under any circumstances. Quote:
maybe there should be something too that states that although we are members of our orgs, we will not be able to answer certain questions (such as how long before you get a response from a letter, etc.) because we are not all inter/national officers who ultimately make these decisions. sometimes i think that new pnais think we have all of the answers when we really have no clue. i couldn't tell you how long it takes mail to be read in my org's eo. i am sure that is the same for most of us! |
All of the suggestions here seem to be a good compromise. I would only add something that was suggested by someone else before...
...and that would be a list of AIs who are happy to be available in PMs to anyone who has any questions about the AI process. This would not be to write recs...but who would be willing to answer general questions about the process. |
I love iastategal's summary. I wonder if it would be easier to read if we broke these suggestions into three thematic areas? Such as:
Alumni/Alumnae Initiation: List of Organizations Alumni/Alumnae Initiation and GC: Frequently Asked Questions AI: Etiquette and Procedure (for lack of a better term) If that's too much overhead, then I totally understand. :) |
A revised summary as suggested by Sistermadly -
Alumni/Alumae Initiation: List of Organizations a link or a list of women's/men's GLOs that have an AI process and put an asterik or a note next to the group indicating they DO NOT accept direct inquiries I would also add this note to this section *Alumni Initiation is not done by every GLO. Alumni/Alumnae Initiation and GC: Frequently Asked Questions *Alumni Initiation is not done by every GLO. See list above for those GLOs that have an AI process * Ask yourself these 2 question before you start your seach: 1. Why do I want to be an AI? 2. What can I contribute to an NPC org? If you can not answer those two questions, stop dead in your tracks until you can. *Any questions regarding the AI process or AI sponsorship need to first be taken directly to the said GLO of your pursuit. Period. If you want to know how to AI into ABC then you should contact the national organization. Finding the contact information is easy -- do a search online using a search engine such as Google * Realize that finding your home through AI is not an easy option and the success stories you read here are NOT the standard -- AI is a long and difficult process, and may take many months or years, and you may or may not be successfull, and IN ALL CASES Membership is by Invitation Only *Remember that AI is unique to every NPC group and for each PNAM. What happened between Annie Alumna and ABC isn't going to be the same for Nancy New-Alum and DEF *There are hundreds of AI threads here that have so much information in them -- there is no need to ask anyone here what to do to start your journey. Please utilize the SEARCH function located at the top of the screen. AI: Etiquette and Procedure *Remember that mutual selection occurs at the local level first. If fraternity/sorority members wish to help PNAIs connect with a local alumni/ae chapter, it should be done via PM -- NOT in an open forum. *Please realize that if you use GreekChat to contact a member of the GLO you are pursuing, you are doing so at your own risk. People on message boards are (relatively) anonymous, and unless you're willing to do some super sleuthing, there's no way to know for certain if the person who's sharing information is actually a member of the organization they claim to represent. * Feel free to contact a GC member via PM if you notice she lives in your area and is a member of one of the groups with whom you are already in contact. However, do not be offended if you do not get a response -- AI can be a sensitive subject that many members are not willing to discuss, and some may prefer if they are the ones contacting the potential AI if they want to be contacted at all. *Do NOT expect anyone on GreekChat to hold your hand throughout the AI process, unless you already know each other in real life (and, chances are, they still won't hold your hand). And finally, I still like Navane's words for the top of the AI Roll Call 1) This informational list is presented as a means of celebrating those who have achieved alumni initiation. Out of the hundreds of thousands of fraternity and sorority members in existance, only a small handful are initiated as alumni. Please do not see this long list of names and be fooled into thinking that it is easy to become an AI. The reason that there are many people on this list is because GreekChat has a very large membership base. There are over 47,000 people on GC and 39 AIs listed....that's only .08%. 2) Just because one may see certain sororities represented more frequently on the list, this does NOT imply that they are "easier" to get into. I highly encourage you to evaluate all of your options and seek out an organization you identify with in your heart. Do not go for one because "it looks like they alum initiate more people". 3) Please be advised that this list is for information purposes only - this is NOT a list of people who are willing to sponsor potential AIs. Please refrain from contacting strangers on the internet and asking them if they can help sponsor you. There are several threads in this forum which offer lots of helpful advice on how to approach this process. any more comments, additions, or deletions? |
* Feel free to contact a GC member via PM if you notice she lives in your area and is a member of one of the groups with whom you are already in contact. However...
I think we should bold that part, to sort of emphasize that PNAMs shouldn't just come on here contacting anybody and everybody, as others have mentioned. |
I've edited this post because I am in favor of deleting the forum. I don't think that a message board is the appropriate forum for an "official" representative of a sorority's AI to promote the program-- but I do think it is important to talk about AI.
I think the best use for this forum is to help connect PNAM's to local alumnae. The local members are the ones who would impact your day-to-day sorority experience... so start at the local level. |
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I noticed there are no current PNAMs posting in this thread. Let me be the first...here are my thoughts on the forum.
I think it is useful to read about everyone's different backgrounds and reasons for pursuing alum initiation. (Yes, I am nosy that way. :D ) I follow the stories but they don't make me think that AI is easy to do or anything like that. Far from it...a lot of the threads provide a reality check that it is a long process and it's not always going to be sunshine and roses and red carpets. (I'm thinking of navane's thread and adduncan's thread and LouisaMay's thread in particular, but there are others.) I like reading the happy endings, just like I like reading the happy endings to the rush stories. But there are a lot more threads that are unfinished or without the best of endings and those are important to keep in mind as well...again with the reality check. :) I had been a pretty active member of GC for several months before I outed myself on here as a PNAM. (And people who read my LJ know it was something I was tossing around for a while before I decided to pursue it.) Why did I post at all? One simple reason: I wanted to have a place to talk about it with people who don't think I'm nuts because I'm over 30 and want to do this. :) I have PMed people, sure, but the people I've PMed are the ones who have offered help or advice and/or PMed me first. For something like this that's as it should be. Obviously I don't want this subforum to go away. :) I think iastategal's ideas are good and there have been loads of other valid points raised in this thread as well. (Forgive me if this seems a bit disjointed. I'm at work and doing this kind of off the top of my head) |
I'm kind of nosy too!
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Good post, Sister Havana. I agree totally. This forum helped me so much. It provided me with some encouraging stories while riding the three year PNAM roller coaster. I didn't know that it was common for AI to take that long... but once I read some of the stories, I realized that it did.
This forum also provided me with a wonderful contact. I PM'd two AIs, and one was kind enough to answer. She put me in touch with someone who was an absolute wealth of information about the process.. and then she in turn, put me on to a member of ZTA who was able to find out where the ball was dropped and get things moving again for me. It's easy for people who have never gone through AI to Monday morning quarterback. Remember that when you went through rush (as did I a long, long time ago) everything was explained to you. You had someone to go to if you had any questions. In some GLOs you don't have that in AI. (Although in some you do!) When I was going through the process, I often wondered if I should keep contacting the district officer and the Alumnae Chapter.. or if it would be perceived as being "pushy." Fortunately, I had someone who went through it already from this forum who encouraged me to keep writing, and keep asking. I think this forum is wonderful. And, I'd be more than happy to help anyone interested in the AI process. If there is a list of people to contact, please put me on the list. |
For me, posting on my AI thread has been like keeping a journal. I don't care if I get a response to every message; I just enjoy keeping a record of my experience, and I appreciate the encouragment that I receive. Like Sister Havana mentioned, it is nice to read about the diversity among the AI hopefuls and AI successes. It is also fun to notice the similarities.
I would be very sad to see the AI sub-forum go. I think instead of debating whether or not the forum should exist, individual GC members need to decide for themselves how much or how little they feel comfortable contributing. If you are an alumna who doesn't feel right about directing potential AIs, simply do not post. If you are approached in a PM but you do not wish to participate, politely explain your stance and wish the GC-er a meaningful experience. Perhaps, another general statement that could be made would read something like this: "The initiation of alumni into Greek organizations is a sensitive issue. Individuals may or may not wish to offer specific advice due to personal convictions or national policies." (Looking back at the earlier posts, I now see that this general sentiment was already stated. Here is another potential wording.) When the AI discussions really began to take off on GC (a few years ago), PNAIs were kindly advised to be cautious and discrete. We were advised to stay tight-lipped about names of organizations, and we were reminded that many GC alums were very active in their organizations so our words/actions could have very real impacts upon organizations' impressions of us. It seems to me that the "regular" PNAIs on here took this advice respectfully and with gratitude since in a lot of ways we are outsiders looking in. It seems that alumni should be able to remain as silent or as vocal as they wish as well. Deleting the subforum will do nothing but clutter the general Alumni forum. I highly doubt that Greekchatters will just stop discussing the issue of AI. LM P.S. I agree with what adpiucf had to say about "official" representation, but I do believe that the majority of serious PNAIs understand that nothing that happens on a public messageboard could possibly be "official." This is nothing more than a discussion and a sounding board. |
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