Sensitive issue-Special Needs
 

I was wondering how you all felt about individuals with special needs going through rush. I come from a very greek family and this topic recently came up in regards to two now young members of the family with special needs. One has cerebral palsy and is in a wheelchair, the other has autism with some social development delays.

My husband had a brother in his fraternity who was deaf. He was absolutely hillarious & just the nicest guy around. The guys loved him, but I always wondered what the rush experience was like for him with the rest of the houses and how he was treated before people really got to know him.

Thoughts??

I don't see any problems having a sorority sister in a wheelchair (our house was handicap accessible) or with some sort of physical special need, however someone with Autism may be different depending on the level that their autism is. My sister in law's brother is autistic and I seriously doubt he will be able to go to college- or even get a diploma from a "regular" school.

But there is no reason why someone that is deaf, blind or physically handicapped shouldn't be able to go through rush!

I would hope that anyone considered "Special needs" would be able to find a home at Otterbein just like anyone else. Friendship is essential to all.

wonderful thread!
 

I've thought of this question fairly often, although I do not have any direct experience recruiting women with special needs.
At one point when I was advising in this areas my fondest wish was to provide a American Sign Language translator for any woman attending recruitment that needed one.
I still think that would be a good idea during Recruitment. If something like that were provided it would be useful to highlight that information in a pre-rush packet or any advertisements. The other part is making sure all events are wheel-chair accessible. I know that past a certain year all buildings have had to adhere to a certain standard with regards to wheelchair accessibility but I wonder if all houses are able to accomodate wheelchairs with ease?
Those are two areas that I think as responsible Fraternity women we can ensure that we are casting the widest net possible during recruitment and hopefully recruiting women with various backgrounds and experiences.
Personally I can't wait to read other experiences and thoughts on this fabulous topic!
Thanks for posting this kappa2!!!

This is a really interesting topic. I just finished a course in "Exceptional Students" as a part of my Masters-in-Teaching program.

I know that my sorority's house was not wheelchair friendly, and I am pretty sure that this is the case for a lot of older houses. However, a lot of chapters with older houses are starting to remodel now, so wheelchair accessability could become more common. Two houses at my school (ZTA and XO) had remodeled and therefore became wheelchair-friendly; I believe that XO had a member in a wheelchair at some point while I was an undergrad. I definitely think a member in a wheelchair would bring a new perspective to a chapter, and maybe help members of the Greek community as a whole develop a sense of empathy (note: empathy, NOT sympathy).

As for autism, it's known as a "spectrum" disease, meaning that individuals who have autism may fall anywhere within a range of symptoms. Severely autistic children may have the really obvious delays (non-verbal, non-reactive, etc..) and behaviors (such as hitting or pinching or otherwise harming themselves). Then there is "high functioning" autism which means that the individual has a better-than-grade level vocabulary, tends to get really into a specific subject of interest, and usually does pretty well in school. However, the biggest problem for individuals with high functioning autism is social interaction. That doesn't mean that sorority/fraternity life would be impossible, but it might present some challenges given the social nature of traditional GLOs. However, in the right chapter, Greek life might really help an individual with high functioning autism learn to better deal with new situations and make lifelong friends.

Gee, apparently I really am into this topic. Sorry for the long post.

I think that each campus would be different depending on when and where recruitment functions are held. Unfortunately, many times functions are held in older buildings which may not be wheelchair friendly but that doesn't mean that there can't be acceptions to some of the rules.

At my school, all the formal rec. parties (except pref) are held in the 3 story sorority dorm. To my knowledge, there has only been one wheel-chair pnm..more on that later. The school is considering new Greek housing which may have elevators or the functions could be moved to the new Student Services building.

As for autism and other related disorders, it definitely depends on the individual and the chapter members themselves. The school would have, hopefully, a pretty good idea of the student's potential limitations before accepting him/her but also the positives.

Decades ago, my chapter pledged a wonderful young woman who was handicapped. She didn't use a wheelchair but we made sure she was always included in our functions.

On the other hand, I know of a past situation where a handicapped pnm went through recruitment.

The problem wasn't the disability, it was the pnm's negative attitude towards people...which was not acceptable under any circumstances. I think she would have been released even if she had invented a cure of AIDS, poverty and cancer plus walked on all planets. The pnm was very aware of what she was saying .

I worked with a non-profit whose mission focused on inclusion programs. I think it would be wonderful for students with special needs to go through recruitment and find a home if they so chose.

One thing I did learn while working with this non-profit is that there is a whole set of vocabulary that is more "PC." For example, saying a child "has autism" as apposed to "the child is autistic" or referring to myself as someone without a disability as apposed to "I am normal." (Believe me, lots of people use the normal thing... it's crazy.) If anything it opened my eyes to these disabilities and how including children and adults in activities, like recruitment, can be very beneficial to their development.

So maybe slipping a small sheet of paper in a recruitment workshop packet regarding proper terminology could be helpful. If no one comes through recruitment with a disability, I suppose it would just be good to know anyway.

we had a sister who was deaf-she read lips- and we made adaptations for her. she was a wonderful member and a terrific rusher.

i agree-autism is a whole different thing. with the varying degrees of autism and the traits that someone with autism can have, i think that it would be difficult for the chapter and the individual to cope with.

Considering that questions about mental impairments don't show up on many rush applications, most people are taken on face value. If your relative with autism is not able to hold conversations, is extraordinarily shy or anti-social, it may not be a good fit to join a greek organization. Family pressure should be left out of it.

If someone with special needs wants to rush, more power to them!

In certain situations, such as severe autism, a social GLO may not be a good fit. That doesn't mean the individual shouldn't try, just that things may not work out.

In many cases, it's not so much a question of having a disability, but rather a question of what your attitude is towards your disability. Say you're blind, for example. Do you let that hold you back, or do you grab your seeing-eye dog and go and do? Your blindness may mean you can't drive a car, but it doesn't mean you can't join a GLO or go to college or hold a job or raise a family.

We had a PNM come through one year who was temporarily confined to a wheelchair. She wasn't about to let that hold her back, though. Panhel made arrangements for her mother to accompany her, so that she didn't have to worry about steering a wheelchair herself, and rush is held in the student center, which is wheelchair-friendly. All went well, and she ended up going AEPhi. :)

(edited because I can't spell :rolleyes: )

Last year, a guy with cerebal palsy rushed at my school. He's a great guy, and he became a TKE and is one of the most popular in his (large) pledge class. :) This should not be an issue.

Agreed. We had a sister in my college chapter who has been blind from birth. She was an active, loving member of our chapter who participated in everything we did.

This topic makes me think of someone who I had known since kindergarden... She was one of the most outgoing women I have ever known, but she was born with cystic fibrosis. She spent elementary school in and out of the hospital. I remember going and visiting her there all the time. Finally in 8th grade she missed all of the school year. But during that time she was able to have lung transplanet surgery. She returned with us to start high school. She came back like her old self... A great story comes from one of the english teachers at our high school... He had given the assignment to write about overcoming an obstical. She walked up to him to tell him she had nothing to write about. That was the way her mindset always was. Except for her stuned growth if you met her for the first time you would never know she was sick. After high school she went on to Stanford University where she went through recruitment and joined a sorority. She was an extremely active sister in her sorority and during her sophmore year she moved into the house. But by her junior year she could not return. Her health had deteriorated too far. From stories people who saw her at this time would tell, she was her same self during this time. You could talk to her and you would forget she was sick until she started coughing and needed her oxygen tank. She would talk about her adventures with her sisters. Even in her last weeks she talked about being afraid she was out of school too long and would have to reaply if she missed much more school. She did not want to be considered as sick, and she lived her life that way.

I don't think it is up to us to decide if someone should go through recruitment, but just give them the oportunity.

I think this is one of the most important things to remember when dealing with anybody ANYTIME (not just rush) that has any sort of disability. Take your cue from that person. Don't try to do too much for them - that can be just as bad as not doing enough. If they say they're fine and they don't need your help - BELIEVE THEM. They know their own limitations far better than you do.

JocelynC--
Thank you so much for posting that article and sharing your personal story. It's very inspirational on a variety of levels.

I have seen you on greekchat forever and have always loved your posts. To find out that you have CP is an awesome testamony of who you are and what you've been able to add to the greek community. I'm sure that article will be copied and passed around to many rush chairs and advisors.

THANK YOU!!!!!!

AMEN...thats my sister!! :D

Glad I could help! :)

this topic is right up my alley. first of all, most people who are blind, deaf or have some sort of physical disabilty, should easily fit into the greek system if they so choose.

greek systems are much more likely to have members with emotional disabilities (depression, bi-polar disorder, etc.) then the cognitive/ social disabilities, such as autism. generally speaking, males are more likely to be affected with autism then women. the majority of people with autism also have another diagnosis which impairs them in other ways. for the people with high functioning autism, formally known as asperger's (and again there is a spectrum of the impairment), most would probably not choose to rush. why? the social nature of these groups would be difficult to navigate successfully for a person with a social disability.

Random thing......there's this woman at my work who has diabetes (but still enjoys the occasional sweet treat that people bring into the office), and since we started at the same time, we kind of hit it off. She's really nice, and she's really cheerful and upbeat as well. Anyway, the other day, I mentioned to her that another one of our co-workers had brought in donuts for everyone, and I'd put them on top of the fridge, she replied in a sort of matter-of-fact way, "You know, I really shouldn't be eating that stuff," and I told her, "You know, you're so happy and cheerful all the time, I forget there's anything wrong with you." I know it sounds silly, but I'm really going to miss her when I go back to school in the fall.

Someone PM'ed me part of a recent Dear Abby article about a college-aged daughter who suddenly found herself with a mental illness. I'm not very knowledgeable about this particular area of special needs, but the letter seemed to indicate that it came on overnight with major issues to a woman who had no prior difficulties. The message went on to say that sometimes mental illness is completely resolved (no symptoms) with medication, but the topic is considered taboo in most college circles. Do any of you have any experience with this?

I also wondered how many greek houses existed that could house a wheelchair-bound student as a resident. Let me know if your house can or can't.

ARG! That's another thing involving rush. Please, for the love of god, consider that some rushees may be diabetic! (this one is!). And it's really hard to refuse someone's hospitality, especially in a rush situation..."no, sorry I don't want your food because I just ate and took a shot." eehh. So I guess what I'm saying is have low sugar stuff, and take it easy on the candy.

I mentally cut all the sororities that didn't even have diet pop at their novelty..shallow I know, but having to walk half way around the world for a glass of water and not being able to eat a single thing all day really sucked.

and things like, "eww! I could never give myself shots!" and "You must be a really bad diabetic" (after seeing my insulin pump) are not exactly tactful or nice.

I have suffered from depression and anxiety for many years now, but I am still a ZTA. It was never brought up during CROWN. I did however offer to tell my story for our quarterly magazine Themis when they wrote about depression. As much as I want to say that it is no longer "taboo" to talk about it. That stigma is unfortunately still there. Luckily, I have had some WONDERFUL support from my sisters.

I'm glad you brought this up. Refreshments during FR, when I was an active, tended to be on the sugary side: lemonade, sparkling cider, cookies, candy, etc. If you had diabetes, your choices were water or water.

During my junior year, I spoke with a PNM during first round, who told me outright that she would only take water because she was diabetic. (She's the outspoken type.) At later parties, I made sure there was diet soda and something sugar-free available to eat (for everyone), even though it hadn't originally been in our plan. It must have worked: Not only did she go AEPhi, she was my little. :)

illness
 

I have a lung disease, and tire/ become winded easily. What am I supposed to do if I am talking with someone and become out of breath? I know this sounds silly lol. It happens, though. I haven't really been in situations since I've been diagnosed where I must explain my disease. How could I do this in a classy way without someone thinking that I am weird for telling them all about my pulmonary defect?

i think that you are stressing over something that will not matter to the majority of people. if you feel that you need to sit down or that you cannot continue a conversation, tell them. briefly explain your condition. they will probably be interested to learn about it and a good rusher will continue the conversation, even if she carries the brunt of it for a while, while you rest.

if you are a pnm, please share your medical history with the panhellenic office and expecially your recruitment counselor-in case you have a flair up and need immediate medicine or medical attention. if you are on a large campus, walking from house to house may leave you winded. with forewarning, some other arrangements may be made for you to get from one end of campus to the other.

Good idea, that seems like the best way to go.

That's the same thing with one of my campers in camp. She has had diabetessince she was four, I think, and unless you see her pump you totally forget about it. I usually have to remind myself on the hotter days to make sure she gets out of the sun more then the other camps and to check on her.

I don't find that shallow at all, I would probalby do the same thing.

I suffer from depression because I have what's called Pre-Menstrual Dysfuction Disorder (PMDD). It causes severe depression, migraines, and cramps, major swelling of my breasts, messy and off-schedule periods. It also causes major fluctuations in my mood. I could be happy one minute and the next I would want to rip someone's head off.

I went one time for 6 months without having a period and I KNEW I wasn't pregnant. I have my regular B-cup bras and my period C-cup bras. I seriously go up a whole cup size when I have my period. Not only does my chest swell, but they hurt and it looks like I am "cold" all of the time. The cramps will seriously knock you down off your feet. Sometimes they'll come and be so bad I feel like I have to pass out. The migraines have to be one of the worst symptoms because they'll knock me off my feet for hours and hours. A day will be shot and forget it if I have plans . . . I can't go anywhere. The other worst thing about it is the messy periods. Clothes and sheets have been ruined but not because I wasn't wearing anything to protect my clothes or sheets.

If I ever get married, I really feel bad for that man. :p

We had a girl rush who had epilepsy, and we were at a social function where she drank some punch and got really sick because of a reaction with her medication...

There were a lot of girls that didn't know how to deal with her when she had an attack or an issue, and it usually ended up being her big or myself that helped her. Empathy and understanding is something that greeks need to work on-in my chapter we have a lot of Nursing majors, and these girls didn;t know how to emotionally deal with this NM; they kinda kept their distance and didn't talk to her much.

Maybe I'm wrong about the way the sisters interacted with this NM, but I've always been upset at the way "Special Needs" greeks or potential greeks are treated in the sorority circles; most fraternities at my school wouldn't treat them differently at all, and would certainly not treat them like less of a brother or soon-to-be brother because of it.
I know this has been asked before, but why are the sororities constantly more cutthroat then their fraternal counterparts?

ARGIRL -

If you become short of breath, pat your chest, say or mouth "asthma," and roll your eyes as if to say "can you believe this stupid asthma, why is this happening now?" Then be cheerful, and soldier on as best you can.

People are not sophisticated about various lung diseases, but EVERYONE has a friend or family member with asthma, and even the most clueless folks knows it makes you short of breath. Most also understand that stress or running around make it worse, so they should understand without being told why rush might bring on problems.

Will work as a nice shorthand.

Pixell,

That's interesting. I have a sister with social anxiety, and she too says that it's not particularly affected by sorority events. She was a bit concerned about recruitment, since she'd joined through COR. So what we did was give her the option to take a break whenever she felt like was getting anxious. She also started taking some meds to help. Recruitment worked out well for her, and I honestly don't think she took a break once. :)

You know... part of the reason I chose my sorority is because they FEED you during recruitment. I mean it's junk sometimes, but still. During fall formal recruitment, one of the PNMs told me they barely got sandwiches.

But yeah... I still get the "So are you a bad diabetic?" or "Why aren't you fat?" (I'm pretty petite.) It's annoying. But if anything, I left a legacy that there ALWAYS must be diet something at every single event... regardless if only one person drinks it.

Last weekend I had someone ask me about my insulin pump. I wear it attached to my bra so most people never notice. My tubing was sticking out the top of my shirt and this lady I know asked me about it. I told her what it is and what it does. She then asked "Why don't you just take pills?" I told her that my body does not produce insulin and if I "just take pills" I would die within a month. :rolleyes:

Oh another time I was checking this man out at Old Navy and he said to the woman behind him (not someone he knows mind you) and loud enough so I could hear "Look she had that thing in her bra to make her boobs look bigger" It pissed me off that he would be so vulgar with someone he doesn't know. So I told him what it was. He didn't apologize, just repeated "Oh I thought it was that thing you put in your bra to make your boobs look bigger"

Whatever

At that point I think you need to suck it up...if you want to rush, that's something you have to deal with. I am terrified of large groups of people, and I've made it through recruitments just fine.

As an aside, I've heard that the percentage of people who are actually claustrophobic is much much smaller than the number who claim that they are. I'm not sure of the exact numbers, I'll try to see if I can find anything online.