What Makes a Good Rusher?
 

I couldn't sleep, so I decided to post this question that I thought of earlier in the week. What would you say makes a good rusher? What could a person do--besides the obvious, like be genuine, don't make any huge social faux pas, and be truly interested in the other person--to make YOU want to join their chapter? Feel free to include stories, if you want.

If something similar has been posted before, I apologize.

And, yes, before anyone asks, I am asking because I'm the worst rusher in the history of the planet! :D

Good rushers know how to put the rushee at ease. This includes not saying awkward things, and not reacting when the PNM says awkward things. You know how sometimes you'll be talking to someone, and what they're saying isn't all that shocking, but just the way they phrase it sounds awful? That's a bad rusher. Good rushers seem to find a pleasant spin on everything.

Good rushers don't spit out questions at the PNM and then forget to listen to the answer because they are thinking of their next question. Instead, a good rusher would ask an initial question, listen to the answer, and then delve deeper with a follow-up question.

A good rusher is able to give a compliment that sounds genuine and doesn't come off as forced or cheesy.

A good rusher can meet a girl, carry on a good conversation with her, AND remember what her name was, what she had on and what her hair looks like. You'd be surprised at the # of people whose notes between parties are blank because they have no clue who they'd been talking to after the first bump.

Good rushers are able to be AWARE of the bumping situation at hand without putting forth obvious effort. No matter how well your conversation is going, if you've got shifty eyes that are looking out for the girl who bumps you, you're not a great rusher.

Well said Carolina.

Some other things that often come from experience and are hard to teach, especially new members who are rushing for the first time on the other side. Good rushers are able to gently steer conversations so that they can guage a PNMs personality to determine if she would be an asset to the Chapter. They don't fall into the meaningless "chit chat" trap and they look beyond the physical. They don't fall in love with every PNM who walks through the door, but they also aren't unduly harsh. They are able to help a shy/overwhelmed PNM open up.

a good rusher is able to make a connection with the pnm. they are at ease so that helps put the pnm at ease. they make the pnm feel welcome and that they truly are glad to meet them. they want to portray their sorority in the best possible light. i knew that every girl walking thru our door would not join, but i felt that if they left our house thinking what a great bunch of girls the zetas are, then i had really accomplished something.

A good rusher puts each PNM at ease. She makes the PNM forget that she is at a rush party and essentially being interviewed, and makes the PNM feel as if she is simply talking to a new acquaintance.

A good rusher has more insightful questions than "What dorm are you in?" and "What's your major?" and the dreaded "So, do you have any questions about XYZ?" (That last isn't necessarily a bad question, but it is bad when every single sister at XYZ asks that question! :rolleyes: )

A good rusher can think on her feet, so that if a PNM does say/ask something awkward, she can keep her cool and respond and steer the conversation elsewhere.

A good rusher has good recall, so that she can remember who she spoke to at each party and what she learned about each PNM.

A good recruiter:

1) Knows Recruitment is EVERYDAY. She is a public relations ambassador for her sorority, her university, her community and her family. She represents her sorority well by looking, acting and dressing her personal best both DURING recruitment and BEFORE/AFTER recruitment-- in class, driving down the street, at a fraternity party, in her attitudes toward her sisters and classmates and the way she carries herself

2) Makes good grades and manages her time effectively

3) helps others-- sisters, friends, family and volunteers in her community. She is polite and gracious.

4) Pays her dues on time

5) Leads by example

6) Doesn't speak ill of her chapter or chapter sisters and would never talk about a friend behind her back

7) Is honest. If something troubles her, she tactfully and clearly brings it up to the appropriate party.

8) Gives a firm handshake and sincere smile

9) is genuinely interested in hearing what you have to say. She listens and is able to paraphrase your words--- and then carry the conversation by asking you another question or taking what you have said to highlight a point about her sorority and her sorority experience

10) knows her sorority's history, values and hierarchy

11) makes you feel at ease and happy to talk to her. She finds the common bond you share-- whether it is a hobby, favorite tv show, dreaded course or interest in being Greek. She will find it!

12) she leaves you with a strong positive impression-- you think to yourself-- What a wonderful person that was!

All EXCELLENT suggestions!! I'll just add one to the list:

-Learn how to ask a question that does NOT require a Yes or No answer; it leads to easier conversation.

* Give a firm handshake. A weak or hesitant handshake is a vote of no- confidence. Extend yours first, you are the hostess. Always introduce yourself as you are doing so.
"Hello, I'm Suzie Sorority, welcome to ABC"
"Oh, hello, I'm Fran Freshman, it's nice to meet you".

When excusing yourself, the SAME RULES apply. Extend your hand, firm handshake, and repeat the person's name back to them.
"I'm sorry that I have to leave, but it was lovely talking to you Fran, I hope you have a great recruitment experience. May I introduce you to my sister Anne? Anne, this is Fran Freshman..would you please excuse me?"
(also eases the introduction process for the next sister)

Repeating her name back to her means that you were engaged enough to remember her name and it reinforces her name to you later when you are ranking.

I guess in my eyes, a good rusher is courteous and polite, yet not so super-mannered that they make other people feel awkward. Sometimes all that formality is too much for people. There is a fine, fine line between courtesy and snobbery.

This is a great thread and reminded me how recruitment can be excellent training for countless business and real life situations. It's amazing how many people never learn the art of conversation!

I second the confident handshake suggestion and the tip about asking questions that require more than yes or no answers. Using someone's name a couple of times in the course of conversation will help you remember it as well as help the PNM feel more at ease and welcome. Also remember to wear your name tag on the right hand side of your chest. It is easily spotted when someone reaches for your confident handshake.

I agree! In talking it over with other sorority women, it is generally agreed that our experiences with sorority recruitment have made us great interviewers/interviewees and networking meeting mavens!

ETA: Not to open the flame wars, but ... Haven't you also found when you're in a painful small-talk cocktail conversation with someone new that you may never see again and probably wouldn't have cared to talk to in the first place.... that you can make it through by calling back on your sorority training? You can be gracious and appear interested-- giving that person a positive impression of you-- flawlessly.

It's helped me so much in interviewing people. I always dreaded interviewing people for an article, but it's lot easier now.

handshake
 

Handshakes are a great way to make a first impression BUT you have to check your recruitment rules first. During my panhellenic spring rush sister's are not allowed to touch PNMs, no matter what. If you do, it's considered an infraction.

A good recruiter can BE HERSELF! So many people are a great face during recruitment and can talk to anyone, but then after recruitment, they are a completely different person. The best recruiters are the ones who are always wonderful!

Great suggestions!

Along the lines of PR, I would like to add -
Being good PR means representing your sorority well outside recruitment as well. If you are wearing letters and sleeping through class, people will get a bad impression of your sorority. Just use common sense.

More common sense, but look your rushee in the eye! If you do not make eye contact when speaking, she will be very uncomfortable.

If you have a shy rushee, you don't need to start off with a question - talk (briefly) about one of your sorority experiences, and ask what she is most looking for in a sorority. Then go from there.. ie, if she says she is looking for an opportunity for community service, tell her about some of your favorite projects, etc.

What Lighbulb posted is good advice. When I went through rush I was feeling really nervous and shy and it really helped to have someone just start the conversation without putting me on the spot immediately.

To that end...try and take a stab at what sort of girl she is. If you're sort of a jock and she seems to be the mall type, try to find some neutral ground to talk on. During rush, there was nothing I hated more than trying to act like I knew where to shop or what the hell a Fendi was, just because that was where the rusher took the conversation. And if you guys have recs and resumes allready, you should kinda have a feel for it, but perhaps do a chapter brainstorming session of "neutral lifestyle" questions that are still interesting.

This is soooo true, just like you can tell when a PNM is being fake they can tell when you are being fake. Be yourself, tell the truth.

We had a girl join us last year becasue she could tell we weren't fake. When she asked one of our sister if everyone always got along our sister responded how can 30 girls get alog all the time; but they are my sisters and I love and respect them and for the most part that can't ever change.

If your honest and yourself chances are your a rusher all year round, PNM see you at class around campus and out with your friends and like the way you carry yourself. Best advise BE YOURSELF.

Even if your PNM is the grossest creature to ever slither into a party, be kind to her. Don't keep cutting your eyes over to more desirable girls or get into a conversation with another member or PNM and cut her out.

Most of us wouldn't think of being mean, but I've seen it happen.

Yeah, I always hated that question when I went through rush. My first thought when someone asked me that was something along the lines of, "Yes, I have questions, but do you really think that I don't have sense enough to ask them?" :rolleyes:

If you're passing a PNM off to another sister so she can meet more people, don't make her feel like she's being dumped!

As a PNM, I (internally) panicked when the rusher who greeted me at the start of the party said, "Well, it was nice talking to you, ADPiUCF. I'm going to leave you to chat with my sister Mary."

That made me think she didn't like me and I wouldn't get the option to return to that chapter!

PX's should tell their PNM's that it is good to meet lots of women at the parties and its ok if your initial rusher leaves you with someone else to get to know them!

Just to amplify what adpiucf said: I distinctly remember my "sponsor" (the girl who pushed for me throughout rush at ASA) coming over and pulling me out of conversations because "we need for you to meet as many people as possible". Her friends did the same thing -- we would be having a great talk, and they''d all of a sudden say "well, I don't want to end this, but we really need you to meet as many people as possible!" and bring me over to others.

Put this way, you feel a lot better about it, and not just "dumped".

Especially in early rounds, when the PNMs are unsure what's going on, make sure they know that "passing them on" is for their benefit, not because you've become bored talking to them.

bumping for all the ladies who will be bringing in new member classes through deferred formal next month!

Re: handshake
 

I was thinking the same thing. We were told not to initiate any handshake or touching with the rushee's. When introducing the girls to the VP Recruitment, we simply used hand gestures. If the girls initiated a handshake, we of course would shake their hand. As for the touching thing, many people aren't comfortable with strangers reaching out and grabbing their knee or elbow, so we were told to avoid anything like that.

When I went through formal recruitment, I was pretty shy. I'm one of those people that can be kind of quiet around people I don't really know but once I feel comfortable I can be really outgoing. To this end, I really appreciated when this rusher from Delta Zeta shared an experience about how she felt when she was rushing. It was comforting to hear "Gosh, I remember how hard it was for me to get to know everyone and how nervous I was. What's it like for you?" I was then able to open up to her a little bit which made me feel instantly at ease without appearing neurotic or frazzled. I thought would look dorky if I appeared nervous, but she was so nonjudgmental. I even got some really good advice on what kind of things to say and do at the other parties to make me feel bettter. While I didn't go DZ, I heard *so* many girls in my group comment about how real and sincere the DZs were. If your rushee is obviously nervous, taking off the "rush face" for a minute and acknowledging her concerns can be super beneficial.

The only catch 22 you can get in with this method is if the PNM is like "Oh yeah XYZ was so crazy when I went to their house, they were scary!!!" so be prepared to steer them away from that type of conversation.

This is a great thread! I'd love to hear any more or new advice... Our recruitment is coming up and I'm really nervous that I wont be a good rusher.

What should you do if the conversation gets to that awkward silence point where no one can think of anything to say? Does anyone have any good tips for avoiding/ending the awkward silences?

Thank you so much! The first thread was very helpful.

Great point!! Also, when I was bumped, I would also tell my bumper what the PNM had told me: "Hi adpiucf! Polly PNM and I were just talking about the upcoming football season, but I haven't had a chance to tell her about last year's amazing brunch before the Homecoming game!" or "Hi adpiucf! You and Polly PNM have so much to discuss - you both played soccer during high school!"

This keeps the conversation moving forward. When I rushed, I hated having to repeat myself to each sister because there was no transition.

Awesome discussion! I never realized how many nuances there are to these initial conversations, thanks