Should I try again?
 

Hi, I have been reading these posts from girls who go through recruitment and have stellar personal attributes/grades...and did not receive a bid for whatever reason (that is not their fault). I am not one of those girls. I go to a southern school which is VERY small (an average freshman class is about 500 people, and an average undergrad class is about 2,600) and that has a very small, but active Greek community (5 NPC, and 3 NPHC organizations). Anyway, last fall, as a freshmen (after taking summer classes, which I did not take seriously) I had a GPA of 2.0. During rush I became phony. In short I tried to be what I thought they wanted. In the entire process, myself and I believe one other girl did not get an invite from ANY sororities (despite knowing people, and having great convo's with some girls). A couple of weeks later I COB'ed with a sorority I was fairly interested in (looking back, I would ask, "oh so are you doing COB?" Irritating? I know), but I did not get a bid (I never asked her straight out, I merely said, "oh so who got in from the COB?"). The question is should I go through the process again? I thought it would be best to wait and raise my grades more, but I am not sure. As of now I have had two semesters where I have had a GPA of 3.0 or higher (current GPA is 2.57 (rounded up 2.6), while holding a 25-35 hour/week job (in Spring '05 I held two jobs), and mentoring a high school student. In my past I have interned with a prominent radio station in Alabama, been on Who's Who of American High School Students, been in my HS choir/band, been a member of a local church, and their choir, been in Yearbook, and member of Habitat for Humanity. My cumulative High school GPA was about 2.6 (with semesters that had awful grades partly due to a 6 year battle with depression, which even plagued me as recent as December of '04), and my ACT score was 24. Basically what I am trying to ask is this, I recognize I did all the wrong things, and went about the entire process wrong. But now I want to be in a sorority for the right reasons. The social life would be great, but I really want the relationships that last past college. Should I even try again? To be honest I am still embarrassed that I did not get a invite from any sororities last year. What should I do?

Thank You :)

Sorry this is SOOOO long!

Since your grades are higher and your mindset is different - I say go for it. BUT -- be ready for possibly the same outcome. Which trust me, I know is devasting.

But there is a pretty good difference in your GPA, which I think will make a difference. Especially if your also still doing well, or did summer school, etc.

Good luck... try not to stress too much! I"m getting ready to pm you, so check your mail box.

Check your pm box.

The most important thing was to get your grades up, and you've started to do that. While they're higher, depending on the group, it still may not meet their minimum for a new member. Some may require 2.75 or 3.0.

For your own sake, I would encourage you to try to get them up even more, regardless of whether or not you join a sorority. A low GPA will hurt you a lot in looking for a job and/or getting admitted into grad school.

Since you've been in school for awhile now, I don't really think anyone will care what you did in HS (well unless you did something really bad like kill someone's cat or something). So there's no real need to bank on that. No one in college is really going to care :) That's one of the great things about college, you sorta get to start a new slate.

I have to ask WHY you want to be greek? Why is it important to you? I think that's an important question for you yourself to know the answer to before you make any decisions. Doing it for the social life isn't really the best reason. YOu don't have to answer, it's more of a rhetorical thing that you should think about.

Also, how are you going to be able to devote the time to being greek if you're working 25-35 hours a week, taking classes, tutoring, etc? That's gonna be a question that a sorority would ask itself about you. Is this girl going to be able to do much for us?

And at some schools, if a group has cut you before, it's very likely that they will cut you again. Especially if you had been fake the first time around. If anything, be pretty open and up front about your mistakes.

"I have to ask WHY you want to be greek? Why is it important to you?" -KDDani

II don't mind answering your (rhetorical) question. I want to be in a sorority because of the sisterhood that I never had (I had a sister that is 14 yrs older, so you can see it was pretty much my mom and I), the tutoring and grades aspect (I want to earn above a 3.0 before the end of this year), the networking opportunities that will be gained in the future, and the friendships that last past college (in HS I never stayed at a school for longer than about two years, so I never really kept friends).

But I do agree with you on maybe I have too many time commitments, but my job is the type that can be altered to my changing schedule. So that is no problem. But I understand you saying they probably would not choose me again, and added to that the inherent fakeness I had last year. But not to whip a dead horse, would recommendations be any different? I mainly wanted to try again because every aspect of me has changed in so many ways, but I did not know if recruitment was the way to go. Especially since out of all the sororities one stands out (to me).

Now I am not confused, I just don't know what to do, next year I (might be) transferring to a larger school (that is not in the south).
I think I am considering raising my grades more, and just taking the time to see if in the Spring I still want to do it. hate to be indecisive, but I really don't know.

Thank You for the kind replies :D

I think recommendations are a good idea. I mean, what can it hurt to have them? I am thinking about the part you said with being 'phony'. Honestly, there is a chance that it could come back to bite you. Girls could have noticed the phony behavior and labeled you as 'that girl'. I think that you should explain your situation to someone who could write a rec for you.
That is only one part. The other is the grades. My school is very similar to yours in terms of enrollment and number of greek orgs. I know that a GPA of 2.6 could only make you eligible for only some of the orgs. Maybe that is no big deal. There could be a couple of sororities that see your grades as sufficient and really like you. My point is that you should go through recruitment. No one can stop you from doing that. But you should definitely be realistic about what could happen in the end.

I can give you more advice about this. I have been in pretty much the same shoes as you, so I definitely know how you feel. Good luck!!!

Smiley 21 I think hit it on the nose, when she had mentioned that by being phony you could have been labled. One thing about being in a sisterhood is that everyone is different. I can tell you from personal experience its better to be yourself and play your odds you may get lucky.

Also references are a good thing and getting to know the girls in the fall prior to spring recruitment will help you alot, befriend them and mention you are planning on going through again, when they get to know the real you I am sure you will be fine.

Goodluck with any decisions you make just make the one you know you will be happy with because ultimatley thats the most important.

The sorority that stood out to me had girls that I ended up working with, in fact my (former) manager is also one of the girls from that particular sorority. But is there no chance the girls don't remember? But about my grades, they will be raised regardless or not I get into (or pursue) a sorority. I do want to graduate with above a 3.0 (I want to go to medical school). But anyway thank you all for the great suggestions.


:D

I go to a rather small school in the South as well, so I thought that I might be able to help you out here. What everyone has told you here is the truth, but I'm going to add a thing or two.

As far as sororities' remembering you from last year: On my campus, maybe 100 girls go through recruitment every year. The only girl I truly remember (other than our own girls, of course) is the one girl who was incredibly rude to me. I vaguely remember some faces, but that's about it. I'm sure other people have better memories than me, but unless you left a seriously bad taste in someone's mouth, I kind of doubt you'll be remembered as "that girl." On the other hand, you might have been dropped from the sororities because you were considered a grade risk. (I know that none of us know for certain why ANYONE was dropped, but I'm just speculating here.) If they do remember dropping you as a grade risk, their seeing your academic improvement is probably going to cast a more favorable light on you, IMHO.

Also, recs are a good thing. If you feel like you have a different outlook on things this year, I would say take the chance. I'm not going to tell you, "Oh, the sororities will absolutely love you and beat down your door to have you as a member," but I would think that if you're remembered at all, they would notice the improvements, both grades- and personality-wise, and consider them. Just my $.02!

I thought that about that, (the concept of remembering the girls) because I barely remember the a lot of the girls. I only do because I work at a place where you may see most of them or because I ended up getting to know some of them. In fact the girls that were actually in my group I don't even remember most of them. I myself don't remember people unless they make a huge impression on me, and I don't think I did (despite being phony) to them. The only way I think I would make an impression is because I am bi-racial (Black and Hispanic) and there were a handful of other minority girls (in fact I only remember one Asian girl in my group, and another African-American girl in another group), besides those two girls everyone else I really can't remember.

-:p

On a campus that small, with a Greek population that small, the chances are good that you will, unfortunately, be remembered. This is going to be a character-building exercise for you, but I would grab the bull by the horns and say something such as, "Yes, I rushed last year. I was a naive, silly freshman, and I wish I could take the entire term back."

One of the most valuable lessons in life that many, many people never learn is how to admit that you were wrong gracefully.

The fact that you came here to ask questions makes me think that you DO have the character it takes - but please bear in mind that part of that character-building can be getting rejected.

I wish you all the best, whether you decide to rush or not!

Well said.

I imagine that you would be remembered as well, though not by all. If you act natural, friendly, and polite (coupled with your GPA improvement), you will probably be seen as more mature and be given a second chance. Show the sorority members that you are willing to work hard - get the recs, become involved with more campus activities (I'm assuming most of those were from high school) and leadership positions, and try again.

This is basically what I was trying to say, but I couldn't figure out how to word it. :rolleyes: Thanks!

Re: Should I try again?
 

You have a low HS and College GPA, and you're over-extended with a job, full-time school and volunteer-work. You also have been through one formal recruitment and one informal recruitment without a bid. Despite a strong ACT and good activities on your resume, you have battled depression for 6 years without indicating if you are being successfully treated.

My honest opinion is that you should not re-rush the NPC sororities. You have already gone through the process twice and your GPA is low. Coupled with your work hours and full time school, the time committments and social pressures of a sorority -- all these factors could create a lot of extra stress, causing you to fall back into depression.

I recommend you investigate other campus activities, including a co-ed Greek Letter service organization or pre-professional society. You will enjoy a social atmosphere, Greek letter ties and national network. Or look into getting involved with an all-campus event like planning Homecoming, being an RA or the Dance Marathon.

Good luck!

To adpiucf:

With all due respect my depression was the cause of personal problems with me, and my grades and lack of energy were a reflection of that...not the other way around. And I have and are currently being treated (I really did not feel the need to write that here, or go into a lengthy discussion about that). Now I am not saying if I agree or disagree with any of the opinions here, but I did get rejected twice, but wouldn't your sorority reject someone (even if you like them) because their GPA is a 2.0 (or perhaps even a 2.6). I know many groups would reject a person based on that low of a GPA, regardless of it is Greek or not. The main thing I wanted to know was should I try again eventually…maybe in Sep., but most likely when I do raise my grades, and because I am finally at a place where I am not perfect but I accept myself. And I wanted to try again because for the first time in my life I feel that way. But everyone’s opinion is appreciated.

P.S. Not getting into a sorority last year did not do anything to my depression; the depression was based on things going on in my family and home life.

Have A Good Day!

:D

Regardless of what you decide to do about rush, I think you deserve some credit for dealing with your depression well enough to rush the first time. I had pretty bad problems with anxiety during my freshman year (and for about five or six years before that) and it was the main reason I didn't rush that year. So whatever happens, you should be proud you made it over that hurdle! :)

I don't know what to tell you about rush. If you were at my school I could give some advice, but I think others who went to smaller schools should take this one. :p

I would say.....GO FOR IT!

Everybody deserves a second chance, as long as you are determined to get what you want.
Sure rushing again will be stressful and you could face another rejection...if that happens...rush again and again. They will find out that you are someone of courage and determinations, besides you will feel good about yourself.

Keep up the good work with your grades!

I know this may be construed as "sunshine blowing," but I think you should try this ONE LAST TIME. Don't make a nuisance of yourself, but if I read your initial post correctly, you only went through formal recruitment once and tried COB with just one group. You haven't become the girl who won't go away yet! The fact that your GPA has improved, your overall attitude toward Greek Life has improved, and you have met more members of the chapters can do nothing but help you, I would think. (That was awkward wording, I know, but my brain is fried from work right now!)

Also, something to consider--other people in your situation. How are sophomores going through recruitment (which I assume you are, but am not sure) looked upon at your school? Do you know of any who have received bids? Do you know of any sorority members who went through recruitment twice and received bids? The reason I'm asking is, at my school, neither thing is considered a big deal, and I go to a small Southern school as well. And, I've said this before, but RECS, RECS, RECS! :D

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Panhel usually has a minimum grade point and if you are below that, yes you will be cut (pretty much immediately). To answer a question you posed........

No: My collegiate chapter consistently boasted the number one GPA among NPC chapters at our university. While we had GPA requirements for recruitment and for all members, our standing allowed us the luxury of extending bids to a select few women who posed "grade risks."

Sororities do cut for grades, but there are exceptions if the PNM is exemplary and greatly wanted.

I never meant to make your medical condition an issue-- you did cite this condition in your initial post. While I'm neither a health care professional nor Tom Cruise, I do recognize that sorority membership isn't all hugs and teddy bears. The pressures and obligations of membership can make a person feel very unhappy at times.

It isn't that you couldn't "handle" a rejection-- but a sorority isn't all warm and fuzzy sisterhood. It's a big diverse group of women-- fitting in or acclimating can challenge anyone and I've known women to lapse into depression because they did not acclimate or weren't prepared for the time committments and other personality issues when working alongside so many young women. This is something you should consider strongly.

I don't mean to be unkind, and you and everyone will construe it as such-- but when you asked "Should I re-rush" I ask you to consider it in this context: consider that you've applied for the same "job" twice and you've been turned down. This is why I believe you would be better suited to pursue another activity other than NPC sorority membership. You've explored that path on two occasions. You may go through and get a bid, and you may not. My inclination is that the chapters already have a bias against you from those two initial recruitments (formal and COR), your grades are not as competitive as they could be, and you have two very time-intensive committments outside of being a full-time student--- and you're a better person than to have to take the rejection a third time.

The ultimate choice is yours and I wish you luck with whatever you decide.

CancerGrly785, check your PM box.

The minimum allowed GPA to qualify for recruitment is often much lower than the minimum allowed GPA within the chapters.

For example: At FSU, the minimum allowed GPA is 2.0. I can tell you thatr most chapters will cut PNMs with a GPA below 2.5 (and sometimes with exactly a 2.5 GPA) almost immediately once past ice waters are over. This is especially true for upperclassmen.

There are some exceptions, sure, and I've seen 2.0 girls receive bids and go on to be successful college and Greek participants.

Thank you to everyone who responded but I decided to transfer to another school, out of state. But even if I was going to stay at my current school, I would not go through recruitment again. Thanks :D

Good luck at your new campus! I hope you have a great time there!

Is there anyone else that thinks that a 2.57 is in fact a 2.57 and not a 2.6 (if you round it up). Hell if you are rounding up, you might as well go with a 3.0. That is rounding up as well.

A 2.57 is a 2.57...nothing more. GPA's are listed with 2 decimal places...so if you have a GPA number that has 2 decimal places, that's it. A 2.994 is rounded to a 2.99, which is NOT rounded to a 3.00.

There have been several PNMs disappointed by that, but that's life.

PsychTau