How would you like to go to this college?
 

So, you thought Bob Jones University was conservative?

I recently stumbled upon Hyles-Anderson College and honestly can't believe that a place like this exists in this day and age. The student handbook is truly amazing:
http://www.hylesanderson.com/haccatalog2004-2005.pdf

I especially like the "Department of Marriage and Motherhood" and the fact that there's a class called "Cults" which explores "modern-day perversions of Biblical truth, such as Jehovah's Witnesses, Christian Scientists, Mormons, Adventists, and Roman Catholics".

The whole thing is...wow, just...wow. I have no other words.

wow, just in the first couple pages....

women can't wear shorts or skirts, they can't go off campus w/o a chaperone. No hand holding. Can't watch movies or play cards.

God bless America that people have this sort of freedom to believe what they want. But man, how do they expect these people to survive in the world?

I love how they advertise themselves as fundamentalists.... hmm the more I look at this the more I wonder if they have a administrative exhange with the fundamentalist schools in Pakistan.

Did anyone happen to catch the section on employment? It only mentioned men finding jobs!

And no TVs... but you can listen to the radio?

This totally sounds like my bf's elementary school and his brother's high school. Crazy that there is a college for it.

well yeah, since women can't leave campus without a chaperone :rolleyes: how on earth could they possibly work?

Re: How would you like to go to this college?
 

ROTFL I just read that "degree" program...

Beginning Sewing, Beginning Cooking I&II, Preperation for Marriage, Home Decorating, Communication in Marriage, Intermediate Sewing, Nutrition and Cooking, Woman the Completer, Woman the Encourager, How to Rear Infants, Decorating for Special Events, Understanding your Husband, How to Rear Teenagers, Canning and Freezing, Cooking for Guests, Sewing Ladies Clothes, Sewing Drapes & Other Household Items....

Ever so academic :rolleyes:

This is just too funny :D I wonder what a failing grade in some of these courses is????

WOW! Who wants to go to the CHRISTIAN WOMANHOOD SPECTACULAR with me? We can try and win some souls!

"We do not fellowship with liberals..."

Nevermind, I'm not invited. :(

I also like that they have a NINE MILLION DOLLAR campus. Who else went to a devil school like mikne that had nine million dollar buildings?

Divorced students can only date other divorced students? To minimize the spread of sin?

Christian Ladies' Attitude and Appearance is an interesting looking class...as is Decorating for Special Events! That lady would come in handy during recruitment for sure.

Man I wish that the school was near me... just waiting around for one of them to come save my soul, and then seeing if I could "corrupt" them would be my entertainment... sorta like the two guys who came to the chapter to save our heathen souls :p..... or another fun game might be trying to convince them that I'm the "Devil".

We had many Fundies come to my Jesuit school and yell at us about how we were Heathens. Ash Wednesday was one of their favorite days..."You're wearing the mark of the devil!"

We had some lovely visitors outside the cathedral on campus this past year as well - however in this case as part of the intra-faith iniative on campus the Muslim Students Association showed up along with Hillel to form a counter-protest against religious intolerance/ignorance.... all in all a great sight and day (although I did feel bad not being able to buy drinks for some of the MSA students who came to the pub with me and some priests).

Oy.

I couldn't find half of what ya'll are talking about... links please. I guess they don't like heathens like me who are Jewish and use Firefox :p

What we are "discussing" is in the PDF file link in the original post... you have to scroll down to the bottom for course descriptions and "programs".

I've heard someone describe a university EXACTLY like that, but I do believe it has evolved a bit...

It was Howard University in 1911.

The Department of Marriage and Womanhood offers a course entitled "Understanding Your Husband".

Can this really be taught?

I've gone over the website several times looking for the little blurb that says :this website is a spoof," a la Landover Baptist. I can't find it. Yikes.

Muahahahahaha!!

I love how women aren't allowed to participate in athletics. From their website: "Hyles-Anderson College provides students the opportunity to compete in a variety of intramural sports...The goal of our athletics program is to reward man's character as well as his skill. The Greek words at the top of our crest mean "Strength and Beauty." In order to have a well-balanced education students need both qualities. With our sports program, we hope to instill these in our students."

So, why bother even allowing women to receive an education?

I love how the catalog says they're not allowed to fellowship with liberals. Talk about spreading God's love.

ETA: Ooh, look at this quote I found on the website: "One of the most important words in the English language is is "appropriate."" - Dr. Jack Hyles

WTF? It's just randomly quoted at the top of the page.

You guys? I would seriously kill (or at least, wear "immodest clothing"...one sin's as good as another, right?) just to get my hands on some of the "Department of Marriage and Motherhood" syllabi.

is it just me or did the doctors/professors look kinda scary and freakish?

Oh, it's real. The way I found it was by returning a call to someone who apparently works there. They answer the phone with "We're having a great day here at Hyles-Anderson College! How may I help you?" I was so creeped out by that cheery greeting I had no choice but to Google.

Before reading this board and the BJU board, I kind of thought my school was a little too conservative--Everyone has to live on campus, it is dry, there are only 9 hours of co-ed visitation a day, and it is highly encouraged that we attend Chapel (we have to have 48 CEP's which are Cultural Enrichment Programs like chapel, concerts, art exhibits, etc).
But... the more I read, we are LIBERAL!!! We even dance on the stage in the chapel (and it's a Baptist school :eek: )
We have had some women symposiums where the women who attended Georgetown in the 50's talked about the strict curfews, dress code, etc... but still... I can't even imagine.

I like that their website ends in a .com

How do you not qualify for the .edu?

Check out the application:
http://www.hylesanderson.com/hyles_a...pplication.pdf

"How long have you been saved?"

bwahahha. If I wasnt a cheap bastard I'd spend the $20 to apply just to see if I could get in (notice theres no requirement for HS or college transcripts). But alas, $20 buys a bucket of beer at Hooligans. I think its money better spent.

Might be a personal choice of the school...after all, the school does (kinda) qualify for Veterans aid.

Did you see all faculty, staff, and students are supposed to go "SOUL WINNING" weekly? Are there quotas? Do you win a prize if you win the most?

"Um, I'm a Presbyterian...could you explain the question?"

LOL, I'm with the Georgetown poster...this makes me think that Baylor's a bunch of liberals (ooh! we got visiting hours extended this year from 1 to 8 on weekdays! H-A must think that we're gonna burn in you-know-where.), in which case, they couldn't associate with another Baptist college, and that's kind of weird.

LOL at the "how-to-do-its." Sounds like Brownie "try-its," only a lot more fundamentalist and kind of scary. Oh no, I wore a miniskirt this week...God wouldn't approve...and they're so going to change the world by separating themselves away. I mean, look at all the other random cults, especially the hidden-in-the-woods types that do really well at separating themselves. Changing the world, you know, those random folks who don't talk to the rest of the world.

I can't quite decide if this college is funny or scary, especially since it's giving the good ol' MRS degree an actual degree!

Even scarier: Hyles preached in Henderson? Close to home Henderson, TX? Wow. Bonus points for naming off "Devil State University" and "Satan U.," though...kind of funny. Funny how a lot of their faculty lists off Hyles-Anderson, Liberty, and Bob Jones as alma maters. And a looooot list off H-A, aye caramba.

this actually seems like it would be a dream school for several GCers

I like how they ask if you've ever smoked, used alcohol, undergone psychiatric treatment, attended dances or went to the movies...

They even ask you to specify what drugs you sold and how long you sold them.

Ok I may be reading this wrong, but it appears you have to be married and out of high school for 1-2 years (depending on your sex) before you can even go.

Maybe that's because your missions take up that time?

ENTRANCE REQUIREMENTS
APPLICANTS MUST MEET THE FOLLOWING REQUIREMENTS:

1. Married men must be at least twenty years old by the first day of registration for each semester.

2. Married women must be at least nineteen years old by the first day of registration for each semester.

3. No one under twenty-five years of age on the first day of registration for each semester who is divorced and single may attend Hyles-Anderson College.

4. Every student under twenty years of age on the first day of registration for each semester must be either a high school graduate or a G.E.D. graduate. If a person is twenty years of age or older, he may enter our Five-Year Program without
being a high school or G.E.D. graduate; however, intended applicants are strongly encouraged to complete high school or a G.E.D. before enrolling.

5. Three references (including the pastor’s) must be received by the Admissions Office in order to complete anyone’s file.

Which then makes me wonder, if students cannot be intimate in public, how are husbands and wives supposed to "procreate" to bring more children into this "religion."

good Lord!! sounds like a cult to me.

I'd love to fill out this application and put in there "Approximately 2005 years, since Jesus died on the cross".

The web page on employment says that they work to find safe jobs for the ladies by placing them at jobs with Hyles-Anderson supervision.

What a trip!

Like they haven't gotten laid in years? Yeah... I got the same impression.

I ran this website by my boyfriend (who is a semi conservative Catholic) and as mentioned before, went to an elementary school taught under the same ideals.

He said that most people that went to his school and followed the Fundie path all the way through college generally came back to the elementary school and high school to teach... and that's all they would do. I guess money ain't a thing? (The tuition alone would send anyone into debt.)

This sooooooo reminds me of the movie "Saved."

You needn't worry about such things, as you're an unsaved liberal heathen.

I interpreted this to mean that if you are MARRIED you have to be that age, but single people can be of any age.

Wouldn't it be awesome if I applied and put down "Father Tom O'Malley" for my pastor's reference? ;)

I sent a thing to the Facebook asking them to add Hyles-Andersen College. I'm such a Heathen.

Do they have a virginity requirement?

Perhaps you don't get as much academic credit for the classes you take. However, I am not sure how one taking these courses would fail them?

2.25 to graduate with a Cum Laude? Dang, where do I sign up?

I still can't open that dang PDF... I even tried IE... but I'm ROFL at the rest of the website.

aephi alum's application to Hyles-Anderson College:

Name of Pastor: Rabbi Jake Schram (ref: Keeping the Faith)
How long have you been saved?: I've been saving for retirement since I started working 7 years ago...
What practical Christian experience do you have?: Enough to know I'd rather be Jewish.
Do you drink alcoholic beverages?: Hoooo yeah.
When did you last drink?: Last night. What a night...
Have you ever sought or received psychiatric counsel?: No, but my husband is trying to have me committed for thinking of applying here.

Somehow I don't think I'm getting in. :p

You missed that the grading scale is a 3.0 scale!

I think I need the Woman the Encourager class. I think I fail miserably at this:

This course helps every lady be the encourager that she was meant to be.... The secret to life is to leave your world and enter someone else's and to make their life better. This is a class that not only teaches how to be a need filler servant , or helpmeet, but also actually plans and helps others in need.

Then I need Woman the Completer: This course studies the role of the wife in making her husband and home complete.

Others that could be helpful: Common Sense Medicine for the Christian Family, How to Schedule Your Time, and lastly, Canning and Freezing.

I absolutely cannot stop laughing...

Dee

You're too much! LMAO here...

I was dying reading this last night and was sharing some of it with my husband, especially the degree in marriage and motherhood. He looked at me blandly and said, "Some of this stuff isn't so bad. You should know how to turn a live turkey into dinner."

I told him where he could put that live turkey. ;)

I'm sure that remark reserved me a spot in hell, but that's OK. If they think that Roman Catholics are a cult, then they must think that we Eastern Orthodox are satanists. I was obviously doomed from the get-go! :p