What do you like to be called?
 

I thought this would be a cool topic on here, and I didn't see it anywhere else. My org. had a forum during Black History month and at one point the conversation turned toward men using the b-word at women. Then, it went on to how we are addressed in general. My old roommate brought up a point that no matter what term is used, there's always going to be SOMEBODY who doesn't like it. There's always going to be those who'll trip if they get called a "b" or a ho (even if by slang definitions, that's exactly what her behavior makes her) and there's going to be somebody who hates being called ma'am (makes them feel old), or miss (sounds condescending), or miss lady, etc. Then we discussed how the word "female" is sometimes used to instead of "b," but one girl was even offended by that. What do you guys think and what do you prefer to be called and why?

Interesting, had never given this too much thought.

I do know that I do not like to be called maam. Just don't like it. I'm not young, but I'm not old either. Prefer my first name or Ms. first name.

For me, slang when addressing me is never appropriate. If it gets my attention at all, it will be a response with words similar to, "now boy, I know your mother taught you better" or "what if someone addressed your mother that way"

Usually I ignore it though.

Even though it doesn't work under all circumstances, I prefer to be called 'sista' by other African Americans. It isn't as formal as Miss or Ma'am, but I still find it to be respectful. Also, I think that sometimes the term female can be used in a derrogative manner, so I shy away from that as well.

'B' or Hoe are never ok.

Hmmm, I do not want to be called Ma'am I am only 27!!! :mad:

I also don't want to be called Ms. "FirstName" I notice this seems to be a Southern thing. I know its good manners but it reminds me of slavery. :confused:

As far as slang goes, someone I don't know calling me out my name no way, however my best friend and I call each other the "b" word, we use it and I know it probably would trip some people out but it stems back from college (hey that was 10 years ago) and we have never shaked it. :rolleyes:

I don't like when people say 'honey' or 'sweetie' as if to be condescending. Lots of men do that and although it's not the b word, it's still not pleasant. I'd rather be called Miss or young lady than sweetie, by some stranger.

No...
 

I don't like to be referred to as girl, yes, I'm in my early twenties, but I'm still paying ALL of my bills and living on my own,

and I can't stand to be called "young lady". To me it sounds condescending. Just call me by my name or miss if you don't know me.

Aww Wonderful, my Daddy's nickname for me is Miss and my name. He's called me that since I can remember. It's because I was always honest and straightforward, and a little "Diva", as they called me.

Re: What do you like to be called?
 

In general, I don't care as long as it's not disrespectful. So ma'am, Ms., sweetie, honey, whatever. I rather like a man referring to me by a term of endearment, even if it's not my father. My father always did it when we were growing up so I guess that I'm used to it so sweetie and honey don't bother me.

The only thing that I might be called that might be borderline for me is for a small child to call me by my first name. For instance, if my niece, 5, calls me by my first name, she gets corrected. I am Aunty Summerchild, not Summerchild.

I don't like to hear women referred to (or to refer to themselves) as females but I suspect that it's b/c it sounds ghetto to me (not b/c I think that it's disrespectful b/c I don't really).

Other than that, I'm not picky, don't really care as long as it's not disrespectful.

SC

I would just prefer to be called my first name by co-workers and associates. I don't like the formalities.....like Miss, or Ms. and my first and or last name.

My close friends and family call me by the short version of my first name. I don't like for my nieces and nephew to call me Aunt First Name. I gave them permission to call me First Name although the still call me Aunt First Name.

Dr. 7 calls me by the short version of my First Name or Boo (which I absoltely hate........Boo)

I prefer to be called by my first name if you know me, by my nickname if you know me well, or by Ms. (Last Name) if you don't know me at all.

I like for children to call me "Miss [first name]" and for everyone else to call me "Ms. [last name]" - Ms. being pronounced "mizz."

I hate "Miss Lady" when it's followed by teeth-sucking or any other barbaric motion of approval. But, I think it's precious when older gentlemen call me that -- "Excuse me, Miss Lady, but could you help me up out of this chair?"

Oh, if people know me then they can pretty much call me whatever as long as it's been established that I like it! :p

Re: Re: What do you like to be called?
 

It kinda grates on me because it's an adjective masquerading as a noun. Yep, ghetto to me as well.

Kids can call me Mrs. or Ms. F
My stepson's teammates call me Mrs. Coach (Mr. 1228 coached them)

Some friends and coworkers call me Jill or Jillybean

I actually prefer to be called by my first name

You know, that's interesting. The girl at the forum (our comm. service chair) had her own theory about why it's disrespectful. She said that "male" and "female" are more scientific terms, that the only difference between them are their genitalia. So, when a male says he wants to go "holla at some females" he might as well have said he wants to "holla at that p---y over there." Most people just :rolleyes: at her, but she was quite firm in it. It makes sense to a degree, but I just don't see it that way. Has anybody else ever thought about it that deep?

And I definitely like it when guys call me Miss Lady, it's about the most respectful term I've heard since I got to college to tell you the truth. It's better than the more descriptive terms that are made to get my attention (e.g., "Lite Brite," "Bright-Skin," "girl-in-the-black-shirt" :rolleyes:

I think very deeply about race and gender issues, but there are some things that we all take for granted.

She has a good point because it can sometimes be a form of objectifying women without being TOO disrespectful. You will rarely hear a guy say "I'm going to holla at some ladies." The fact that the person is a biological female (and presumably acknowledged as a woman) is of course the most important thing, initially. However, the TYPE of female (and woman) isn't specified. Are they being picky or does any female fit the build?

I prefer to be called by my FirstName...Ms. LastName unless I tell you otherwise, which doesn't happen very often.

I like to be called by my name. If someone doesn't know my name, just ask me.

"Excuse me what is your name?" usually does the trick.

People who know me well shorten my name. Like "Kamryn" would just be "Kam."

Calling me "white t-shirt", "girl with the long hair", "black jacket" or anything or that sort usually doesn't get a response. In most cases I won't stop, unless I feel like politely teaching someone a little manners.

Being called sweetie, honey, sweetheart, etc. are only appropriate for me depending on who is using the terms. Sometimes it makes me feel uncomfortable.

I don't like to be called by my last name. It's waaayyy too formal. I'm a pretty laid back person. I cringe when my professors call me by my last name, especially when I politely ask them to address me by my first name.

Yeah, that bugs me, too. I don't know why, it just seems uptight to me. I know, me and my friends sometimes calls to each other "Hey, lady" or "Hey, girl." Sistah and miss lady are cool too. It's different if you're refering to a woman or speaking with her. I'd never get in someone's face and call her a 'ho', but I may say, "You're acting like a ho and I know that's not you" if I feel that it's true. There's a subtle difference. The latter is simple truth and should be pointed out in concern or love. The former is just name-calling for the sake of being mean, I think. Women don't often come to each other in concern or love, b/c cattiness takes over. If your girl ever says, "I'm only saying this because I love you" think about how she said it and you'll know if she meant that or not.

This is a interesting thread. My Sororfriends and I were having dinner one night, and one asked the waiter for more water, he responds, sure baby, one minute!
We looked at him like :eek: and then :rolleyes:. I CAN NOT STAND :mad: :mad: to be called baby or babe or sweetie from some male that doesn't know me. It grates on my nerves!!! It's even worse when a woman is walking down the street and some random man says..hey sweetie, how you doing. It's like, can't you just say hello and keep it moving! All that extra stuff isn't necessary!

I hate it when miscellaneous people call me "sweetie," "baby," or any other derivative. That applies to women (because they are usually calling me that because they ASSUME I'm young because I usually look younger than my age) and men. I find a way to let women know I'm a grown ass woman. But, I directly tell men "don't use pet names toward me."

If it's a waiter, I reduce the tip. How dare a random man call me "baby!!!" What audacity!!! :eek:

I can't tell you how many times I had to tell a random person that my name aint Baby...
I just don't get it.

I'm really not too picky about what people call me. I find it endearing when people call me 'baby', 'sweetie', or 'honey'. I think I don't find it annoying because I find myself doing it to other people. I'm one of the guilty party that actually calls people these things :o. Don't be upset with me sweeties LOL :p

Ditto on that one. I used to HAAAAAAATE it when people called me any of the above. But then I fell into a certain group of friends who are all classified as the motherly type and I ended up just like them. I've always been sort of a mother hen, but these girls are a little country, they brought out the Big Mama in me. Now, everybody's honey or sweetie to me! :rolleyes:

note to self...

don't call women baby unless you know them.

:(

My friend and I were having this conversation the other day. I live in Ohio, she is in NY. She overheard my neices referring to their mom as "yes ma'am". My friend was like omg I can't believe you all have them say that! I think it's normal. I am a "yes ma'am/no ma'am/yes sir/no sir" kinda girl. I told her that my children (whenever I have them) will more than likely address adults in the same manner.

Are there any adults who don't like "yes ma'am"??

Yes, I'on care for it, though I use it when addressing my elders. But for me, it depends on who is saying it.

I'll say it to customers at work, but generally, I don't like to be addressed by it nor do I address anyone by it. That was a big thing when I visited my sister in the south when I was little. All her friends and their elders thought something was wrong with me when she introduced me around, they all looked at me like I was crazy. But my parents never made me, I grew up seeing it as subservience(sp?), as something only slaves or servants say (hence why it's appropriate toward customers). When my sister told me what they were expecting from me, I thought they were all nuts. That's still something that's engrained in me, even though now that I'm an adult, I know that I don't have to compromise my thinking, but I can stand to be courteous and appropriate.

I do not like to be called Ma'am by anyone over 18. I'll put it out there - I'm 34 - which is not ancient. Get a grip.

I can't stand to be called "young lady" by older men. I think it's condescending.

I don't mind the Ms. First Name thing - I realize it's a Southern thing.

Re: What do you like to be called?
 

By my first name. Preferably said the correct way (which is next to impossible for some people!