In this thread we spout lines from Britcoms
 

"You know that stuff they're selling now at the local shop, I Can't Believe It's Not Butter? Well, you know, I can't believe it's not butter! Then yesterday I bought this other stuff, like a sort of home brand, you know. Well, I can't believe the stuff that is not I Can't Believe It's Not Butter is not I Can't Believe It's Not Butter, and I can't believe that both I Can't Believe it's Not Butter and the stuff I can't believe is not I Can't Believe It's Not Butter are both, in fact, not butter. And I believe they both might be butter ... in a cunning disguise. And in fact there's a lot more butter around than we all thought there was."

http://www21.thny.bbc.co.uk/comedy/g...00/abfab_1.jpg

"It's LaCroix, darling!"




http://www21.thny.bbc.co.uk/comedy/g...oungones_1.jpg

"His name is Rick. With a silent P."

"I can speeek Eeengleeesh. I learned it from a boook."

Jeff: In the event of Steve's death, the first thing I will do, upset though I will be, is go straight to his house and remove all the pornography before his parents can find it. And he's pledged to do the same for me. That's how close we are!

Susan: You guys have seriously made arrangements to destroy your dirty mags?

Jeff: Who said destroy? "Remove."

Susan: Yeah, well you wouldn't keep them... would you?

Jeff: It's a perk.

Susan: Oh, Jeff...

Jeff: That's the beauty of it, you see? Your best friend's dead, but there's a bright side!

"Are you free, Mr. Humphries?"

"I'm FREEEEEEEEEE!!"

Oh smeggin' hell!


.....Kelly :)

"The booo-KAAAY residence, the lady of the house speaking!"

(yes, I know it is really spelled Bucket)

http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Zone/7474/keeping.gif
"It's my sister Violet, who has a sauna, Mercedes, and room for a pony!"


http://kuacentral.com/hyhead.jpg

"If there's one thing I can't stand it's snobbery and one-up-manship. People who try to pretend they're superior make it so much harder for those of us who really are."

Eddy: What you two don't seem to realize is that inside of me there is a thin person just screaming to get out!

Mother: Just the one, dear?

:D

He's dead, Dave. Everybody's dead, Dave.

(Bonus points for the above usage of "smeg!" "Red Dwarf" is the best!)

"You and me baby, like drunk monkeys!!"

Hell yeah, Are You Being Served! I love that show!

"manuel, there is too much butter on those trays."

"que'?"

"there is too much butter on those trays!"

"no, senor; not on, dos, traze; uno, dos, trace."

http://members.ispwest.com/navane/davidbrent.jpg


David Brent: If a good man comes to me, and says thank you David, for the opportunity and continued support in the work-related arena, but I've done that, I wanna better myself, I wanna move on, then I can make that dream come true, to, AKA, for you.



http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffic...00/gareth2.jpg


Gareth: I'm assistant regional manager.
David Brent: Assistant to the regional manager.


.....Kelly :)

David Brent: I’ve created an atmosphere where I’m a friend first, boss second. Probably entertainer third.


Interviewer: When was the last time you had an actual girlfriend?”
David: I don’t look on it as when. I look on it as who, and why.

father jack-"that would be an ecumenical matter"

Mrs. Slocombe (on the phone to a neighbor): Go to the front door, bend down, and look through the letterbox. If you can see my pussy, then drop a sardine on the mat.

"they'll ride up with wear"

father jack:"who are you? What's dat ting dere? are those my feet?"

Saffy (in Morocco): Mum, that man just pinched me!
Patsy: Don't worry, he's very old and obviously blind.

Eddy: I did tell you the facts of life, didn't I, sweetie?
Saffy: If you mean that time you sat on my bed and shook me awake at 2 in the morning, stoned out of your brain, and slurred into my ear, "By the way, sweetie, people have it off," then yes, you told me the facts of life.

Eddiy: Sweetie, we dragged these people screaming into the 20th century. We gave them all the mod-cons, darling. We gave them the non-squat toilet ... toilet tissue, darling. I mean, how do you think they used to wipe their bottoms before we came along?
Patsy: Old bits of hoof.

"again please"the intrepreter for the spanish infanta-black adder

"sure, didn't our Lord himself pause on the cross for a nice cup of tea, before giving himself up for the world."mrs. doyle

"no, He did not mrs. boyle",father ted.

"well, wine or cake, or whatever they had for tea back then. and speaking of cake, i have cake."mrs. doyle

"none for me mrs. doyle," father ted

" oh, go on......it's got cocaine in it",mrs. doyle

"what?!?"father ted

"oh, what am i going on about?.....i mean raisins,"mrs. doyle


from father ted

http://www.ananova.com/images/entert...p1_363x500.jpg

Alan Partridge: 'Sunday Bloody Sunday'. What a great song. It really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday, doesn't it? You wake up in the morning, you've got to read all the Sunday papers, the kids are running round, you've got to mow the lawn, wash the car, and you think "Sunday, bloody Sunday!".

Aidan Walsh: I really hate to do this to you, Alan, but it's actually a song about...

Paul Tool: Yeah, bloody Sunday is actually about a massacre in Derry in 1972.

Alan Partridge: A massacre? Ugh. I'm not playing that again.



http://www.davidwalliams.com/full/lb...fromthesun.jpg

Social Worker: Vicky, where is the baby?

Vicky: I swapped it for a Westlife CD

Social Worker: How could you do that?!?

Vicky: Yeah I know, they're rubbish.