27 Joining a sorority
 

I have a question for you girls:
I am 27 years old and I am going back to school, I never had the chance to be introduced to greek life, specially Alpha Xi Delta and I think you girls are amazing.
What would you recommend?
Should I join even though I am 27 or should I give up that idea?

What you girls think?:confused:

Re: 27 Joining a sorority
 

If you never had the chance to be introduced to Greek life, why do you think A Xi D is so amazing? That makes no sense.

Maybe I wasn't clear enough.

I was never introduced to greek life until this year.
My ex-boyfriend was a FIJI and I had the chance to hang out with differente sororities and fraternities, but I personally thought AZD girls were the ones I really got along with.

Because of that, I considered the posibility of joining AZD.

Thanks for the compliment! But I do have to say that any NPC sorority would be a wonderful choice.

Are you returning to school as an undergrad or as a graduate student? There are only a few sororities that will allow you to pledge as a graduate student. If you'll do a search, there are a couple of threads on that topic. We do, and I know Phi Sigma Sigma does as well.

If you're returning as an undergrad student, depending on where you'll be attending school it may be hard for you to get a bid to any sorority. Some of the more competitive "Southern" shcools will only take freshmen. On a non-traditional campus, however, you will have a greater chance of sorority membership.

Keep an open mind, and good luck with whatever happens!

Re: 27 Joining a sorority
 

It depends on where you are in life. Do you have a full time job? Kids? Are you married? Do you (or can you) relate to younger people?

If you answered no to the first three questions and yes to the last one, I say go for it. I rushed with a friend who was 26, she had to drop out after she got her bid. Nevertheless, she stayed quite connected to the Greek community. We were also petitioning in alpha phi omega. She pretty much fitted in with everyone.

It would depend on how comfortable you are with hanging out with younger women. If you are a grad student, why not look into becoming an alumna initiate? That way you could participate in an alumnae association with women closer to your age you may feel more in common with. To be honest too, the younger women may feel uncomfortable around you. I rushed another sorority before I went DPhiE and there was a woman who came that was in her mid-30's. While the members of the organization were nice enough to her, everyone kinda felt it was wierd that she would want to hang out with 18-22 year olds.

Yeah that's a factor too. On our campus the average age is like 23 or 24, we are a commuter school. So older students who are 24-26 won't have too much trouble fitting in on campus. I could see how it could be a problem when the average age is 19 or 20.

Well, I've been thinking about all those things too.

But I am considering joining a sorority as a sophomore (that means starting from scratch), I have no kids, no husband, I have my own small business, so working full-time is not a problem for me either.
Besides, people assume I am 19 or 20 since I look too young (I am not saying I'm that old either :p )
and I hang out with people my age and younger.
And to be honest with you girls I am more concerned about my future sisters, I don't want them to feel awkward.

The average in my campus is between 19 and 23

If you have sophomore standing and you look 19 or 20, I think that you shouldn't mention your age when you go through recruitment. If I were you, I would not make age an issue.

Just so you know, I don't think that you should lie. Just don't be the first to mention it.

I was 23 when I joined because I went into the military after high school and started college late. I'm the oldest member in my chapter. That being said, I go to a small technical college, our chapter isnt very big to begin with, but I enjoy it nonetheless.

However, if I were going to a more traditional campus, I'm not sure if I would enjoy it. Even in my chapter, there are some things that happen that I think "I'm too old for this! What have I gotten myself into?" but I still love it, and I'm glad for the experience.

My advice would be to check out the sororities, see what they are all about. If you want to do it, GO FOR IT, if after a while, it doesnt seem quite right for you, that's okay too. But, I think the thing deciding factor that finally pushed me to do it was "You'll always wonder 'What if?' if you don't give it a shot." Good luck! Let us know how it goes!

You girls are the best!

Thank you very much for your advice, what you say it's true.
Even though I love the fact I will share soo many good and bad moments with my future sisters, sometimes I stop for a minute and wonder about the activities or behaviors I won't really agree with, but I guess it's just about of getting along right?

I was told by an alumnae that I could join as an alumnae as well but I don't know how involved I would be in the chapter being in an alumnae status, and also I don't really know what is their role in the sorority (in this case AZD).

I continue to wish you luck with whatever your decision is. I just want to warn you about something that happened when I was in undergrad. It may not be as much of an issue now especially with all the new policies regarding alcohol use, but nonetheless, still be aware. Way back when I was in undergrad, there was a party where a bunch of the sisters lived. Basically since the town police had nothing better to do than harass the college students/Greeks the girls that lived there got into trouble because alcohol was being served and minors were there. The town was trying to get a couple of the women over 21 into trouble because of their age and alcohol being served. Lawyers had to get involved as well. I don't want to scare you, and as I stated, I would like to think that most of this has changed now with the strict alcohol policies, but I am sure stuff like this still goes on in some places. People may want to borrow your ID also to get into bars.

I joined my chapter as a 21 year old....people from the campus, Greek or not, would get busted for underaged drinking. The key is don't get into a stupid situation such as loaning ID's or giving someone alcohol. This is not an age/older sister thing, this is common sense.

I encourage you to see what sororities are out there! Meet them all even if you are set on one 'cause you never know what you will find. Sometimes the stuff younger sisters do is silly and petty in terms of the real world, and as an older member you would hopefully have an advantage with age and will become a role model for the chapter. It does happen!!!!

Have fun!!!!

I hate to be the bubble burster among the sunshine blowing ;) but I wanted to add in a reality check.

Rush is mutual selection process. There is NO guarantee of a bid. Most people DO get a bid, but there are a good amount of people who do not get a bid, particularly to their first choice organization.

We don't know what school you'll be going through rush at. That'll make a big difference, if it's a competitive rush it's going to be harder for you to get a bid.

I'm also guessing on most rush registration forms it'll ask for your age, and I don't know that hiding it is a good idea.

While I hope you enjoy yourself and find a home, I just wanted to point out that there's no guarantee that you'll get a bid. So saying things like "my future sisters" and other comments that assume that you'll get a bid to a group are premature.

Good luck!

--saying things like "my future sisters" and other comments that assume that you'll get a bid to a group are premature.--

I am not assuming I'll get a bid. I am saying my future sisters as a way of respect to the sorority members.

Besides since I was recommended to check the alumnae status. I would like to know what is their role in the chapter. Since I'll be in school everyday I would like to get involved in the chapter activities.

I would like to try to be a collegiate, but if it doesn't work for me then I'll move on.;)

As an alumnae for ANY sorority (I'm painting with broad strokes, so I'm assuming) being involved with collegiates usually takes place in the form of a volunteer for a chapter, giving programming, assisting with Recruitment, attending specific functions such as homecoming and alumnae luncheons. Typically, at least in my experience, alumnae do not "socialize" with collegiates in social (formals, mixers, etc) settings. Recent grads are a little different as they can still be close to chapter sisters, but on a whole volunteers (advisors, etc) are sometimes/usually discouraged from "hanging out."

With that said, there are a lot of perks being an alumna, however AI is still a mutual selection type process as kddani pointed out. AI is not the most common thing. There are alumnae associations you get involved in and you can volunteer to assist chapters and simply hang out with other alumnae at sorority gatherings. Networking is huge too. Currently, my AA is assisting a sister in Nebraska by helping her find and apartment and job in Atlanta before she moves down here.

Again...though...if you are interested in collegiate involvement, check out that first and check out all the groups.

Saying "my future sisters" is presumptuous and can really turn people off. The only time you should use that phrase is during pledgeship.

As far as AI, you can't be an "alumnae intiate" if you are still eligible to rush undergrad - which if you're going to be a sophomore, you would be, regardless of your age. You would have to wait until you graduated from college.

You know, I have to say I am dissapointed in some of the people posting on here. I'm not going to name any names...but think about some of the things you have said. If I weren't already a member, some of the comments that have been made on this board would totally turn me off, and confirm the "stereotype" that greeks are snobby and think they are better than anybody else.

While we may hold ourselves to higher standards, I think it's really rude to lash out at TheBest because she used a term such as "my future sisters". As she also stated, she hasnt been exposed to greek life, HOW was she supposed to know that it could be seen as offensive???? She gave a perfectly reasonable explanation for why she used the term, and some people STILL attacked her. NO WONDER that people who are anti-greek have such strong feelings.

TheBest - I wish you the best (no pun intended)of luck in your search. I am 100% glad that I made the decision I did (even though, as I stated earlier, I'm the oldest in my chapter by 2.5 years) and I think it's a good thing to do. Keep in mind that some of the other posters are correct - it is mutual selection, and at some larger schools, they only take you if you're a freshman. I'm personally glad thats why I DONT go to a larger school - I would hate to think I was being purposely discriminated against because of my choice to go into the military aftrer high school, rather than going straight to college, and therefore was older - but that's my own two cents worth. Good luck, and come back to let us know how it goes - even if you choose to go with another organization than AZD.

I personally didn't find anyone's posts to be attacking or offensive, in fact, I think everyone is being as honest as possible. In fact, if I remember some of the catty girls that were in my chapter, a 27-year-old may have gotten laughed at for considering joining. I don't think it will do anyone any good to sugarcoat the issues because these are realities she will be faced with, which will have to influence her decision on joining ;). It has nothing to do with being "stereotypical" IMHO.

who "lashed out"?

The only person lashing out here is you, amanda6035. Quite unnecessarily. No one was mean or nasty, just telling the girl the truth. If you want to lie to her and blow the proverbial sunshine up her behind, go ahead, but i'm not going to and neither are many others on here. If you can't handle the truth, don't come looking for it. I'd much rather people be straight with her and let her know what's up, than lie to her and have her be lost and misinformed.

I pointed it out because I don't know that she realized it may be construed incorrectly. It could also severely hurt her chances if she said that to a chapter member.

I think attacking each other indirectly is unnecessary.
I thank everyone for telling me what they think.

I thank the ones who support me in my decission, that means the world to me even if I don't know you personally.

I also thank the ones who are straight honest (even though it hurts a little bit) but that's is why I came to you, because I'll will be adviced for the pros and cons for such decission.

Amanda you are very sweet and because of girls like you makes me want to join.
I think the world needs both sides, so we can become wiser.

I Like you all!

I still wish you good luck with whatever you decide :). Just so you know as well, the composition of chapters often changes drastically from year to year, even semester to semester. I encourage you to look around at all the GLO's so you find the one that is a perfect match for you and vice versa. We can talk to you about stuff that may or may not go on, but only you will know if joining Alpha Xi Delta or any other org is the right decision. Again, good luck!!

No, the reality is that you aren't seeing that there are other chapters that are different from yours. I didnt choose my school based on greek life. I chose my school based on what my education was going to be like. When the opportunity to join Alpha Xi Delta presented itself, I took the challenge.

That being said, had I gone to a larger school, with chapters of 50 girls or more, I probably wouldn't have done it. Why? To avoid rude catty girls such as the ones you describe.

There is an opportunity for everyone out there. It embarrasses me to know that there are girls that i'm supposed to call "my sisters" on a national level, who are SO shallow that they would make fun of an older girl for joining....and before anybody says "you don't know what you're talking about" BELIEVE ME, I do. We had a 35 year old single mom who pledged with us when we were a colony. She didn't initiate. Why? Because she felt out of place; not because we were rude or mean to her, but because she had a different outlook on life....those of us who were considerably younger wanted to act our age - we didnt want somebody who was going to treat us like our mother and say "no, you shouldnt do this and this is the reason why." She also realized that she had a daughter to take care of, and a sorority was too time consuming for her family life. She left on good terms, and it was her own decision, but i admire her because she had the guts to try it out.

What I am saying by encourageing TheBest to check it out, is NOT sugarcoating the truth. It's called encouragement. And if she doesnt fit in, or doesnt feel comfortable, thats what the new member period is for - it's a trial time to see if it's really meant for you, and vice versa. At least, that's the way it was taught at my chapter. We weren't taught to be stuck up snotty and discriminatory towards girls who were different, based on age or looks, or whatever else. It hurts me to know there are people out there who actually think that way. What a pity.

*Edit* i just realized thatmost of the girls participating on this thread are NOT AZDs, so I apologize to MY SISTERS for the comment: It embarrasses me to know that there are girls that i'm supposed to call "my sisters" on a national level, who are SO shallow that they would make fun of an older girl for joining

The threads that talk about a woman pledging a sorority if she's married, if she has a child, if she's older always amuse me. I think the answer to those questions is always "it depends"... it depends on the woman, it depends on the campus, it depends on the chapter. In some places all three of the above situations would be taboo usually because the chapter isn't willing to buck the norm.

I get very frustrated when, during recruitment, sorority women try to answer questions that only the PNM can answer - like assuming that a woman that has a child doesn't have time for a sorority or assuming that a 27 year old woman can't fit in with women 8-10 years younger.

There was a woman in my chapter that was 27 when I pledged (I was 17). She lived in the sorority dorm with us. She was also on our varsity cheerleading squad with me. She and I became great friends.

There are plenty of chapters out there that would welcome any new member that was a dedicated woman who would represent their chapter well, regardless of her age.

TheBest, hopefully you attend one of those schools with those types of chapters. Good Luck with whatever you decide to do.

FYI amanda, I had a 25 year old join my chapter (and sisters older than that participating) and I had/have NO problem with it. Some other posters and I were just pointing out that if you word things in such a way that makes it look like you are assuming you WILL be bid, it can be disastrous. Same for casting your lot with one organization only. I would say that if she was 27 or 17.

And by the way, winney's chapter is anything but traditional...she pointed out that it was the "catty" girls that would have made fun of a 27 year old. She was definitely NOT saying that was how she felt.

Thank you ;).

[QUOTE]Originally posted by amanda6035


There is an opportunity for everyone out there. It embarrasses me to know that there are girls that i'm supposed to call "my sisters" on a national level, who are SO shallow that they would make fun of an older girl for joining....

QUOTE]

I feel the same way but unfortunately this does probably happen in many chapters regardless of the organization. I find it hard to believe that when you put that many varying personalities together everyone is going to get along that well. And the issue doesn't have to be about age, it could be about anything. I am not saying that it happens to everyone, but I find it hard to believe that many organizations do not face the problem at one time or another where you get a few women who get fixated on something that they want and everyone else is afraid to stand up to them. That is what I was talking about in regards to the cattiness. But I think this is taking away from the original discussion so I will shut up now. Amanda, I think all anyone is saying is to try to see it from the many different sides that will exist. I also still believe that the only one who can make this decision is the one who is actually going through it, if you go back and read my posts, that is what I was saying all along ;).

Well guess what, we ALL have them, so deal with it.

Winnie, if you'll go back and read what i said, I stated: To avoid rude catty girls such as the ones you describe. I never said that I thought you were the catty one - I was talking about "girls in general" who are...

33...do you have to have the last word? And no. I'm not going to DEAL with it. See, when you "deal" with stupid people, then your standards go south, and when your standards go south, everything turns to crap. I can't speak for everyone, but I didn't join "crap."

http://www.maths.tcd.ie/~snpower/ima...ends/hugs2.jpg

Pooh says, "Let's just all get along!"

And if that doesn't make you feel all warm & fuzzy inside, you're a cold, heartless human being.

I'm sorry but I just have to say this: as a member of a pretty large national sorority (or any organization with more than one chapter for that matter), you do not get to pick every single girl who will be your sister. You have to trust that the girls who are actives now will do a good job of recruiting quality girls. You will never meet every single AZD out there, and you do not have to like every single one of them. However, you *should* respect them all for the fact that they are your sisters and they share AZD with you. You need to understand that recruitment works differently in various schools in different parts of the country, and while a 27 year old might not have a problem joining in one chapter, a different chapter might not be willing to give the same exact woman a bid. It's a little harsh to say that you're embarassed to call these girls your sisters, and, I'm sure, that you and your chapter have at some point done things that would have made other AZD's embarassed too.

It has nothing to do with the last word, I'm replying now since you don't seem to understand what I said. ALL of our national sororities have members who are wonderful, nice, sweet and intelligent. They also ALL have members who are mean, catty and dumber than a piece of paper. Does that make me happy? No. But none of our chapters are perfect...sometimes we make mistakes in membership selection...and sometimes different chapters are just different. I know for a fact that some of our chapters would have never invited me back to first round, let alone given me a bid. I also know for a fact that I would have been very uncomfortable in some of our chapters and not wanted to join there. As long as we keep rushing the way we rush, this is going to be a fact of life.

With the OP not telling us what her school is like, it's hard for us to know whether a 27 year old rushing would be accepted, and no one wants to say "why yes, go through rush at Supercompetitive Southern U and you will definitely get a bid." There have been too many people who've come to GC, got their hopes built up and then were disappointed. So if we sound gruff or bitchy, it's because we'd rather a person was prepared for the worst, rather than expecting the best and being upset.

I think the only advice anyone here should be giving PNM's on recruitment is; if they want to rush then they should give it a try.

I don't like to see a GCer "blow sunshine" up a PNM's arse, but I also don't like when a GCer comes on and says "well I hate to burst your bubble, but XYZ university is very competitive and you probably won't get a bid". It's almost like that GCer is trying to say, well you probably won't get a bid, so don't even bother trying.

Every campus is different. While on a campus like mine a 27 year old sophmore would have a good chance at getting a bid, she might not on another campus.

I think the best piece of advice us GCers can give to a PNM is "go through recruitment and give it your best. Just remember that you are not guaranteed a bid, and recruitment can be a highly competitive process depending on your school" And leave it at that. The PNM will know soon enough if Greek life is for them, and to the PNM's "GREEK LIFE IS NOT THE BE ALL AND END ALL OF UNIVERSITY LIFE. If you do not get a bid, IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD".

Amanda6035, I PM'd you! =)

33girl, I think I love you.

So what are you so afraid of? :p

I'm afraid that I'm not sure of, a love there is no cure for.

Thank you to the girls who are supporting me and clearing up all my doubts...You are the Best!

I have an update for everybody regarding the 27 joining a sorority topic.

Reading all the posts in this thread and also some for the alumnae option. I decided to contact some alumnae chapters in my area, I got answer from them and then doing some research I found out that most of the members in alumanae chapters are over 35 years old, and most of the members were around 60 years old!
I felt kind of awkward since I get along better with younger people.
Now I'm more confused than before.
What do I do?:(

Don't get discouraged
 

Not all alumnae associations have an average age of 50 or so, though I must say I know LOTS of "older" alumnae and they inspire me to stay involved!!!! My assoc has the average age of 25! I'm an older one at 28! Eesh! It really depends on what you are looking for. The fact that you researched is good. Don't get discouraged....depending on your location, there are probably many more young alum out there that have not "discovered" the association yet.

If you are in college, check out the college chapters. What do you have to lose? I mean, really, everyone on here can load you up with the positives or the "hard truths," but not many will know your school.....so the advice won't always hold water. Check it out. Have fun doing it and just see what happens!
:D