deactivating
 

Bro., first and foremost, don't quit because of someone elses perception of your chapter. It doesn't matter what the other greeks think, it doesn't matter what some of your idiot alumni think, it only matters what you and your chapter think.

Grades will come around, trust me - but you guys need to realize that you are at school for school, not Beta. Beta should always come second to your academics. You have your whole life ahead of you to be a great Beta, you only have a few years to get your degree.

Alumni - it is important that you respect them, HOWEVER, in order to get respect, one must give. If they don't respect you, your house rules, your new chapter and its direction, how your run the chapter today...etc., ask them kindly to leave - don't forget, those are the guys that had your chapter shut down in the first place, and do not deserve to be your mentors. It is crucial that you are selective in who you take advice from in terms of alumni, as not all of your alumni are asses. Also, don't forget to treat the alumni how you want to be treated when you become an alumni.

As for your Exec. Board and their decisions - you must have faith in them. Likely, they won't steer the chapter in the wrong direction. They generally don't have any power to do big things, it must be passed by the chapter. Stand up for the good, make your points, but if your points/motions don't pass, you still have to support the chapter - it is your duty, even if some wrong decisions are made, its still your duty to try and make things right.

Stick it out. It may be tough. But Beta is a lot more than just 4 years of your life. We are a band of 100,000 living Betas, not just one chapter.

Best of luck, keep us updated. Hold your head high, you're one of the best; you're a Beta!

-kai-

thanks, I appreciate that post alot


but I dont feel like a member of my chapter. Its like, I dont fit. Im just one of the numbers they brought in to make a good FF Class. I cant ask my parents to pay money for something that I can tell them why Im doing it and then to that extent... I dont know what this whole fraternal brotherhood thing is about, it just seems like all im getting from this is something on my resume. Im not making friends with my brothers, because they are all close friends before Beta. I feel like the bitch, you know?

I dont know if its worth all this money when I cant even think of a reason why Im doing it, except I love what 8 guys started 166 years ago...


P.S. is beta and 'sheep' a national thing, or just my school?

Well, that is what makes greek orgs. unique - they are usually well diversified in race, religion, culture, groups of friends...etc. My chapter at biggest was about 60 guys, we had clicks. Our chapter today is about 25 guys, it still has clicks. No matter what group you belong to, it will have its inner circle of friends that hang together - nothing wrong with that, but it can be difficult to deal with. Is it fair that you feel that way? No, but unfortunately that is how it is....and you need to choose whether or not the big picture of Beta (all 166 years of us) is worth sticking around for - or if a few of those inner-circled guys are going to ruin your Beta Experience?

I'd hope you stick it out. You don't have to have best friends in Beta, hell, your best friend my be a Sigma Chi...it doesn't matter. One of my best friends is a Phi Delt, and I make sure to point out to him EVERYTIME that we were founded 9 years earlier than them. So, don't think that Beta has to be 100% your life.

Look at it this way, put into it what you want back. If you have some guys that push you away, its still ok (not for them to do it, but for you to make some distance if it makes you feel more comfortable), thats ok too. I have some great Beta alumni from my chapter that weren't very active as an undergrad. They're great Beta's today for that. I also know some Beta's that were complete studs while an undergrad (Student Gov. Pres, Beta Pres, MOP attendees...etc.), and now they're burned out and we don't hear from them.

Don't make any rash decisions. Try to man-up with some of those guys and just say "lay off man, we're bro's". Beta is much more than just your campus, we are everywhere. Imagine when your 60 at your grand kids soccer game, and the ref. is wearing a Beta Hat - you quit today, you wouldn't be able to relate to this kid as I think you'd want to. I feel your dedication and I know you don't want to quit - don't do it. Beta is a good thing.

PS, never heard of Sheep/Beta. Maybe this has something to do with past traditions of your chapter?!?!

Beta is what we make it.

My advice is that if you don't like what is happening now, change it. Be more active in recruitment and the like. When I pledged Beta my chapter had just undergone re-org and had about 15 guys. My pledge class basically turned Beta into what it is today on this campus. We have one of the largest and by far the strongest brotherhoods here. I still see a lot of room for improvement and I constantly work for that.

While it does suck that you can't enjoy the fraternity experience to the fullest right now, you still have two years left and can make a difference and see what it's all about.

its too much money.

Curiously, what is your semesterly cost, and what does it get you?

500 a semester... what it gets us... well most of it goes to Recruitment and other fees for office stuff etc... It gets one formal a year, and 450 buck for the VP to arrange brotherhood events, money for a philanthropy event: a Betas with Balls Dodgeball Tourney... and thats about it

I am not sure what to tell you. Beta gets better for me every day. I paid $250 a semester when I was an undergrad, worth every penny for me. I know some houses charge 10 times that, but it includes a room in the house and a meal plan. A chapter cannot operate without a proper budget, so $500 a semester to cover social events, brotherhood events, a formal (that's nice) and other misc. budgets, is pretty nice.

I just hope you don't make a decision now that you may regret later.

what I mean by expensive is not that its not worth it... its that I really dont have it, nor do my rents

Gotcha - have you looked into any local scholarships, or Beta scholarships, or anything that may be tied to your Alumni Association?

yeah, but there all extremely competitive

I pay something like 2800 a semester, and that does not include formals, or date parties, alumni events etc.

If it's purely a money thing, get a job. I work almost full time so I have enough to cover it.

I can't argue to change your mind, but it seems to me that you haven't made an effort to get to know everyone in your chapter or there are other things involved that aren't being said.

no one can argue that I havent made an effort... im just not a people person i think... in regards to a job, i have a full time job, but im paying tuition (30,000 a year)

I think your original post hit home for me. Our "colony" currently has 24 members. Our group is a different type of guy compared to the other fraternities on our campus because they all like to relive the "Animal House" stereotype. It is difficult at times to imagine why someone would join an organization and not put forth any effort. But, speaking from personal experience, I think you should stick with it. Now that I'm an alumni/advisor for my chapter, I see now that some of the these guys helped me make through two very rough years of my life. I sincerely don't know what I would do if I didn't have them. Now, I'm not saying that you have to get along with all of your brothers. Hell, I have four biological brothers and we fight constantly and are as different as the seasons. But, the same can be said for my fraternal brothers. I don't necessarily get along with them, but I do accept them for who they are (flaws and all). I also agree with the concept of a positive attitude and not allowing others to skew my view of something so great.

I am sure that it will get better for you. Keep your spirits up and feel free to speak to any of us if you need to vent.

Remember: ___ kai ___ * * *

"Thebe Stisgo Oden Ough Forus"

Oh!

This ancient lore is still known among the adelphoi !

Then you have been to the Lake? What else do you know?

This is - ah - reassuring.

Might you then also know SUEGM? Far harder, though not as old. And yet older. Baird knew.

You have stumped me Dr.Thurs, I dont know Suegm... enlighten me

Thebe Stisgo Oden Ough Forus
 

I know what that means, it's not that hard. It was the final jeopardy question at the MOP Institute during Beta Jeopardy. I also read and remember my pledge manual, so figuring it out was cake. However you've stumped me with SUEGM.

a.e.B.O.T.

I may be out of place here, and If so I apologize. I couldnt help but notice your thread. While reading it, it brought back alot of memories for me. I am a FIJI grad brother, and was a founding father of my chapter. When I pledged, and took on the responsibility of helping start a chapter, things became quite hectic. I too was the one brother in my "colony" at the time that had read all the publications of my fraternity, and knew the history, and rules forwards and backwards. That however, put me into a somewhat delicate situation. Not every man in my pledge class (hell, not even one) had the burning desire I had for my fraternity. But, that didnt make them any less of a brother than I. It was hard for me to understand how someone that took the same oath I did, could not feel the same way, and have the same passion I had. Over the next three years of my college career (yes, it took me five years to get it done. lol) and six pledge classes later, I had only a handfull of brothers I could relate to. It wasnt good for me, but it seemed to be great for my fraternity. Diversity is a key roll in a fraternity, and it sometimes left me, what seemed to be, standing alone. I have taken an interest in the Beta's, and can honestly say, that if I had not been a founder of my chapter, I would have wanted to be a Beta. I challenge you to stick it out, and walk away with the knowledge that you took pride in what you loved, and gave to your fraternity what you will be given for the rest of your life...RESPECT! Like I said in the beginning, I'm sorry that this FIJI crashed your thread, but I wanted you to know its well worth the trials and tribulations you will face starting a new chapter!

Oh, BTW, that song "Beta Badge", that is awsome. There is some real talent there.

Ozz

oh thanks alot ozz,

I decided to stick it around after going to the tute. I realized I would be more upset of myself if I gave this up.

this just gets harder and harder and harder... im totally being drained and sometimes I just want to smash everything in my sight. It is taking every fiber of my being to stay within my chapter... I just dont know what to do anymore

What's the issues? I know that there were times when I was just burned out....I just took the back seat from time to time. Let other people do things, sometimes it pays to just take a break.

If you deactivate, remember, you are no longer a Beta.

the issue is, im not allowed to take the back seat for one, I brought that up, and I was barked at cause I wouldnt be setting a 'good example' for those who are slacking. second is there are days were I just cant stand to be around any of them, and thats not healthy... i love beta nationally and historically, but being founding father sucks hardcore rectum! Im not a people person, never have been. This is putting my social skills and patience to the extreme. its hard sometimes to see what im getting out of it. Its hard to pin point one issue thing, i do alot, i have to, or else it wont get done

I am not sure what to say. Take the back seat, let someone else do some work for a change. Let them see what time/dedication it takes. Let the rest of the chapter see what it takes to keep the chapter organized. When they see failure in the future because they aren't putting in time, they'll either suck it up, or the chapter will fail.

I am friends with Founders from my chapter (true founders, we're only 14 years old), and they didn't give up. Yeah, some of them took backseats from time to time to relax a bit, some never lead from the get go, some still lead today - just chill a bit, and don't let this stuff run you down.

Beta is a lifetime affair, 4 years of undergrad shouldn't ruin it for you.

yeah i know, thanks for the help

hey buddy,
being a founding father is extremely difficult, it is a lot of work and at times it feels like there is no reward but the reward exists. just express your feelings to your brothers, whether it be in private or in public at the exec meeting, during kai, weekly meeting. i dont know what position you hold, but work at doing a good job at your position. and not doing other guys' work for them. it sounds like everyone is expecting you to do everything, that should change. 30 guys can do a lot more work then 1

AHHHH, not a week goes by when I dont seriously considerate still, people can be such god damn bastards

I thought Denison had a pretty good re-colonization.

We do, we look great on paper, we wear our suits with our pins constantly and shake hands with the higher ups... Next thing, we will be handing out oral sex to anyone with a higher status then us. We are full of a bunch of weiners, who are too lazy to do anything about brotherhood but complain, but too fastly jump to the feet of Admin, the AO or Senator Lugar.


They are a great bunch of guys, but sometimes I just want to reach across the table and bash their heads together.

What do you mean 'higher ups'?

How long have you all been around?

It takes time to get things going in the right direction. You had a large FF class and while numbers are good....in this instance you haven't had the same bonding experience that a traditional established chapter's pledges go through.

One person can make a difference in a chapter. I know that for a fact.

by higher ups, i mean all the people we try to impress, AO, Lugar, Denison Pres, etc.

I know it takes time and I remind myself alot, but I am a very stubborn and I prefer to stay stingent to the letter of the law, which often makes me an outcast when it comes to follow our bylaws etc. They all also have a bond, and Im an outsider, its kind of a 50 against one deal... i dont know, 3 more semesters i guess