What should I think??
 

Ok, went out with some pledge sisters this weekend. I was out from 8pm until 2. Innocent fun; I was with 2 girls that are getting married in a few weeks and the others have boyfriends as long as I have been dating my boyfriend (atleast 3 yrs or more). When I got in my car to leave the scene of the party fun, I called my boyfriend to let him know that I was on my way home.

Get this: during the conversation he asked me, "did you get out of your parking spot ok? It looked kinda like a tight squeeze." So I then I was like, "oh, so you were at the same place I was? That's cool." And then he goes, "no, people I know were watching you."

Hold up. Is this not the most insecure thing a man (that I have been dating for 5 yrs) could do? I mean, WTF?? He has never been this way before. Atleast not this strange. Then the convo ended when he said "I guess that I am just being overprotective."

No. He is being weird. I was having a jolly time until I had to hear this. AND to top it all off, when I was driving home, intensely into the convo, I made a wrong turn that put me in the BAD BAD part of the city. And I saw on the news the next morning that there was a shooting at 3 am RIGHT where I took the wrong turn. This night could have ended up awful!

What should I do? Any opinions??? Is this behavior normal?? Please set the record straight for me people!

no, I am at work. They don't monitor anything, and if they did, I am leaving this job on friday, so I could care less.

But thing is, he has never acted this strange in the 5 yrs that we have been dating. He has done the typical jealous guy talk, but not serious. I don't know what to think.

no words for this one, but it is ultra creepy. i think you need to sit down and have a conversation with him about this behavior - if you don't, your silence will be the affirmitive that this is "ok" with you, even though it is obviously not.

personally, if a guy did this to me, i would have re-evaluate our entire relationship. it seems like you have been together 5 years, and yea that's a long time, but there's no excuse for stalker behavior

Dude, after your multiple threads on him I've come to the conclusion your boyfriend sucks. Dump him. Period.

Oh my. This seems to be going around lately.

This is NOT healthy behavior, let alone normal. Get rid of him -- now! But document the conversation you had w/ him, b/c I get the feeling if he's watching/stalking you now, if you break up w/ him, things could get worse. Be sure your friends know what's going on so they can be witnesses if they need to be.

I would definitely check your computer for any kind of keylogging software -- there's another thread addressing hacking into email, and cashmoney might be able to help you find out if he's been snooping on your computer.

I don't have a comp at home, so it's all good. ANd when I get mine hooked up for my new job, believe me, I am going to be super careful.

How many threads are you going to post about this guy being a shitty boyfriend before you dump him?

sorry, just trying to get advice. I'll delete the thread. I'll quit bitching....:(

Well so far, he doesn't want to get married, he won't help pay for BC and he's having you stalked. Don't delete the thread, delete this relationship. No one on here is going to tell you that he is wonderful when all we have to go on is what you've told us. And from what you've told us, he's an asshole.

I agree with 33girl here. The problem isn't the complaining, it's that you're complaining and then not doing anything about it.

Dumpity dump dump dump.

It seems to me that all signs (and Greekchatters!) are pointing to the end of the relationship, although some relationships make it hard to admit that. Especially since you've been together so long.

If you want my opinion, something has drastically changed. He won't pay for BC, he's having you followed, doesn't want to get married, etc. Personally, I think he's cheating on you. It's been my experience that the person is usually suspicious b/c they're doing the exact thing they're accusing their significant other of doing.

I think that she might just need a place to vent anonymously. When you have a long term relationship, family and friends have a vested interest in seeing you get married. She is probably not getting the best advice from the people in real life so she vents on GC.

The thing is, you have mentioned before that the problems run deeper than just him not wanting to pay for bc. With the other information you have shared, there is a pattern here. I'm not going to tell you what to do or think. If I were in your position, I would give this situation a lot of thought and make some difficult decisions.

Ummm hello, are you dating cashmoney?

Anyway, I would dump this stalker's ass so fast his head would spin. But that's just me. Somebody who's doing isht like this clearly doesn't understand which boundaries are appropriate to cross and which aren't, which is a major red flag and will probably lead to much deeper problems later in the relationship. I agree that you need to document your conversation right now in case you have to file a restraining order later.

So you[ve been dating 5 YEARS? Any steps torward marriage? He's obviously insecure and I would kick him to the curb. That's just me though.

It's time for you to take matters into your own hands and ask him to marry you. You really don't want to let this little gem slip away from you.












PLS. NOTE THIS IS SARCASM. YOU SHOULD DUMP HIM NOW.

I know....yeah, 5 yrs I have been with him. Thank you all for the comments. Serious thinking in the works tonight.

We have gone to look at rings and talked about marriage, kids, etc.

Just because you go to look at rings doesn't mean you're part of a serious couple. If someone is pulling this isht, he could go buy the biggest ring at Tiffany--and it still wouldn't make him, from what you've posted, a decent marriage partner.

Your story reminds me of the time my (now ex) boyfriend decided he needed to move back home, which was overseas, to "find himself." I went out to a comedy club one night with a guy friend and had a great time, until my boyfriend called and told me that some of his friends who live in my town (whom I wouldn't know even if I saw them walking down the street) had seen me out with another guy and had e-mailed him about it because "they thought [he] should know." I was absolutely livid...he had said that he had "spies" around so I'd better be behaving while he was gone, but I never took him seriously. I couldn't believe it. Now, his anger might have been justified if his friends had seen me kissing and hanging all over the other guy, but none of that happened and it was the fact that he'd had people watching me that ticked me off. That was pretty much the end, right there.

I agree with what everyone else is saying...dump your boyfriend! He sounds like too much of a headache to have to deal with.

ULChiOQT,

were you in St. Pete? I agree you should dump him. Although ten bucks says you don't have the guts to dump him.

I triple dog dare you to dump him you wussy.

Ok, now that I have done that, you should have the motivation to do so now.


You can thank me later by making a thread titled, " thank you BobbyTheDon"

LMAO!

But seriously, every thread you ask what you should do... we all keep telling you to dump his ass. Him doing/saying yet ANOTHER dumb ass thing isn't going to change that.

Bust his ass to the curb, you don't deserve that

what the fuck is that supposed to mean? :mad:

What my friends and I do is not out of the ordinary. In fact, I'm pretty positive my girl is trying to do the same type of shit I do to me but isnt having much success at it. :rolleyes:

Thats not normal behavior. You need to breakaway from him.... He sounds like he has the warning signs of a man that could be dangerous.

As I was reading your post my stomach began to churn...my gut was telling me to "RUN!" And don't look back....this sounds like the beginning of a control freak in the making. If you decide to stay, you need to start really listening to your internal instincts and if you recognize a pattern, then I would walk away from this relationship before it turns terribly wrong...

Good luck!

I realize we are just people on a message board and do not know you or your boyfriend IRL... but I think sometimes it takes strangers to see what we can't see ourselves.

I dated a guy for almost 4 years. All my friends would tell me the relationship was going downhill, that he was changing, doing bad things, wasn't good enough for me, etc etc. I kept making excuses like "oh there are the good times they don't see" and "The don't realy know everything because they aren't in the relationship" and all of that other crap... but my asking them what they though was sort of a sign to myself that I knew the truth and just didn't want to admit it.

It sounds like you are doing them same thing; you realize that things are not going well (hello he is having you FOLLOWED... that is not sweet and caring behaviour), but maybe you are afraid to end things. Yes, its scary to be "dating" again... but isn't being followed or being in a relationship that seems to have come to a dead end (seeing as you obviously want marriage and he doesn't) scary also?

No one on GC can make up your mind, but I hope you will take the advice everyone has given you and get out of this relationship. Find someone who will inspire you to come on GC and tell the world how wonderful your boyfriend is... not someone who inspires you to come on here and vent about all the horrible things he does.

Re: What should I think??
 

All of you seemed to have missed (or failed to comment on) a very important point in this post.

RED FLAG!!!! If he wasn't there, how could he say "it looked like a tight squeeze"? Either he was there, or his "people" had camera phones and were sending him photographs.

I haven't read your other threads and therefore I won't comment on whether or not you should dump him. I will point out that in two sentences he has proven to you that he doesn't trust you and that he lies to you. Two sentences.

When you envision being married, what do you see? What is your partner like? What kinds of conversations do you have, what kinds of interests do you share? How do you show each other that you really care about each other? How do you show each other that you value each other as an individual and that you support each other growing and developing as an individual? How do you see each other growing and developing the relationship? (Write these answers down on paper for maximum effect).

Now, ask yourself the same questions regarding your relationship right now, in it's current state. Don't go with "In the past we..." or "we used to..." or "But we can't because...". No qualifiers...just answer the questions as it stands now. (And don't wait until you have an awesome day or great sex to answer the questions. That's cheating and will not give you an accurate picture).

That exercise might help you to clarify things. Better yet, get some of your close friends to answer the same questions about your current relationship, using their own observations (not what you tell them).

Keep the answers hidden where he can't find them (preferable somewhere that he doesn't visit...a friend's place, your childhood bedroom, your locker at the gym, work (oooh, be careful here!)...). Go back and look at them after a week...see if anything jumps out at you.

PM me if you have questions about this or want to discuss further. Like I said, I won't tell you what to do, but I might be able to guide you to the right questions.

PsychTau

Take it from an old broad - things WON'T get better. Don't be so desperate to have a boyfriend or get married that you will accept someone who disrespects you in so many ways. It isn't worth it.

ooohh snap!!
he bought out the triple dog dare!!!!!!

maybe his friends saw you and he was drunk...if he starts getting weird then break up with him