Becoming ordained?
 

Okay, as most of you know I'm engaged and with that step wedding planning just seems has to happen (why, I have no idea :p) And one of the aspects of the ceremony that my fiance and I were really debating about was the pastor. See, as long as it's someone I know and am religiously fine with I'm okay (former pastor etc), with Dusty he's very non-religious and wants a judge (or the equivalent), you get the idea.

Well, the other night I had seen on a wedding show of how a friend became ordained online to see of the wedding and "marry them". Dusty and I agreed to have a sorority sister (who also is a best friend) of mine to do it if she could and would want to.

So....

Here are the questions:
- Where is a reliable/legal online (hopefully) source we can get the certification?
- She is also Catholic (a big one :p), and I am psudo-christian and he is agnostic, would there be any conflicts with her church?
- How much would it cost to have this all done? (since it's out wedding, we're paying)

I'll probably have more questions later :p

--PS--Sorry if some of my statements are hard to understand...I could never quite get the hang of getting what's in my head on paper correctly ;)

You can get bogus college degrees on line, why not get ordained.

I really doubt the legality of this.

On the other hand, a guy in my chapter once convinced a particularly, well, dumb girl that a fraternity president could perform marriages. That last about an hour.

Go with the judge.

Oh man.

Thats just beautiful.

You can hire a justice of the peace if you don't want a religious ceremony. I have no idea about internet ordained pastors.

DA, you cracked me up.

Be Ordained In Three Minutes! Universal Life Church

All of my RAs in Alaska got ordained to perform marriages. They had their certificates on their doors. However, Alaska law states any citizen may perform ONE wedding, so just fly there and get a hunting guide to do it.

My vote goes towards a captain of a ship. Ship captains are allowed to perform marriages, right?

It would be so awesome if you had a pirate minister.

I have a co-worker who got ordained through the Universal Life Church and he said that he has to apply for something through the state to be able to perform marriages... But, they do always say "By the powers vested to me by the state of Blah Blah Blah, I now pronounce you husband and wife".

you could always go to the courthouse and have a justice of the peace do the legal part there then have the sorority sister preside at the wedding ceremony. After all- it's not the wedding service that makes one legally married, but the paperwork filed with the county.

If she's Catholic her church would not like it very much if she became ordained in another religion...and since women can't be ordained Catholic (and the Catholic church is good at kicking people out that screw up) I'd say that's not a very good idea.

I'm ordained but I forget where, LOL. In Colorado, though, I don't even think you have to be anything special to marry people --- anyone can do it. They also have common law marriage which is so weird. When I hear "common law wife" I still picture some big ol' woman in a housedress standing outside the trailer with a 40 and a cigarette, screaming at the kids. That's probably rude, but still.

In some places mayors can marry people. My former boss was the mayor of a town and did perform a marriage or two

Yeah I don't really see why she'd be willing to do that.

I also wouldn't want to futz around with the legality of my marriage - find a judge or a non-demoninational pastor or something.

I hesitate to even get into this, but I'm an ordained elder in the Presbyterian Church, USA, and in theory I can perform certain sacraments IF there is no ordained minister available.

I'm not sure that marriage falls into that category, but I don't know why it wouldn't.

No, I really don't want to perform the ceremony.

I know someone who was married on a ship by the captain. A few months later, the couple found out the marriage was not legal. They were so relieved!

Viva Las Vegas?

*shrugs*

find a justice of the peace. my friends did that last summer and were very happy. they were able to tailor the ceremony to their wishes and it was fairly inexpensive.

another friend was married by a mayor. don't know how expensive that was.

Oh, so you've seen the former Mr. tinydancer's girlfriend!!:p

Can I just say how ignorant a statement that is? Saying the Catholic church kicks people out who screw up? I've screwed up a lot and I have yet to be kicked out. :rolleyes:

I'm with everyone who said to get a justice of the peace. One of my sisters did that last year and it was nice. It's not like you still can't do readings and stuff...

Okay, okay :p

We do NOT want to have a justice of the peace/judge/etc or go somewhere else and get married. I thought I'd just get this outta the way.

So, I guess I'll just find this info out somewhere else.

Or, I could find you a fraternity president in Athens.

Good luck.

Why not a justice of the peace or a judge? If you don't want a church or religious wedding, a JP seems to be a good solution. You could arrange for that person to come to the facility where you want to get married. I wouldn't let something as important as my wedding depend on the legality of an internet ordination.

Re: Becoming ordained?
 

There isn't a "reliable" place.
Yes, definitely there could be conflicts with her church.

Bottom line -- trust me on this one -- you really need to check the marriage laws in your state. I know of a couple who did exactly what you are talking about, only to find out a year or so later that, as far as the state was concerned, they weren't legally married. They weren't legally married because in my state, a marriage performed by someone ordained online or by mail is not considered legal. And, just to add fuel to the fire for you, the Supreme Court decision that said such marriages aren't legal rested on two points:

1) the ordination was by mail and was not from a real religious organization, and

2) the person "ordained" by mail was a Catholic layman, and therefore was not authorized by the church of which he was actually a member to perform weddings.

Marriage laws vary from state to state. Again, you must check the laws of your state to find out who can perform a valid marriage. And don't rely on friends to tell you what is legal: check with a lawyer or with the office that issues marriage licenses.

Me too, but of course, add to your "IF": only if commissioned by Presbytery, and then only in the one congregation to which that commission applies. ;)

Seriously. I'm not sure I get what the problem is here -- a justice of the peace seems to make far more sense and be far more reliable than getting your Catholic friend ordained in a religion she doesn't belong to . . . :confused: It makes so much more sense to go with a JP than to mess around trying to figure out internet-ordaining stuff and then have a marriage that you will never fully know whether or not it's legal, as well as possibly screwing up your friend's relationship with her church (which sounds pretty important to her).

I mean, I just don't get what the argument AGAINST the justice of the peace is here.

In some states, Notaries Public are given the power to perform marriages, South Carolina being one of them. Check w/ your state's notary public laws.

All your friend would have to do would be to pay for the notary public class ($60 here in NC) and the notary public application.

I see your location is Ohio -- is this the state in which the marriage would be performed?

Just be common law married. It's very classy and I think it would be perfect!

Some states don't recognize common law marriages.
Where I live, a common law marriage validly formed in another state will be recognized (it has to be under the US Constitution), but a common law marriage can't be formed here. You'd just be living together.

The United States -- where we have 50 states with 50 different rules for marriage. ;)

I am going to have to agree with everyone who said here, don't do it.

This isn't "Friends" where your best friend can become ordained over the internet and everything is wrapped up perfectly in half an hour.

Is it really worth it to a) have you friend come into possible conflict with her church (although if she has already agreed to do this, it appears as though she doesn't really care what her church thinks) and b) to possibly find out, sometime down the road, that your marriage is not legal?

If your dead set against having a judge or justice of the peace, then you really should get in contact with a lawyer in your area to find out if marriages performed by those ordained over the internet are legal in your state.

LOL I was kind of kidding. ;)

I moved from a state that doesn't have common law marriage to one that does, and it still weirds me out quite a bit. The only time I ever hear about someone's common law spouse is when they're on the news because there is trouble with the law and they show the common law wife saying she don't know nothin' about her common law husband's criminal ways.

Are you suggesting that common law spouses are just common? ;)

HAHA yes. They don't even register for fine china or announce their engagements in the prominent local papers. ;)