Question!
 

If you have been dating a guy for 5 yrs and have been on the pill for that long, do u think it's fair that he pay half of the cost of the packs each month? I have been on the pill since I started seeing him and I think that he should help me pay for my pack each month.

What do ya'll think??:confused:

I'd tell him he should pay for the whole thing since you're the one who has to deal with messed up hormones. It's better to start negotiating for more than you actually expect.

Re: Question!
 

It's absolutely reasonable.

yeah, because he says he is going to obstain from sex because he doesnt want to pay. I am fed up!

Haha, let him -- see how long that lasts.

I wouldn't expect a guy to pay for birth control, but I don't think it's an unreasonable request, either.

Whoa whoa woah...do you have insurance? Your co-pay can't be more than $20 a month, right? He's not willing to pony up $10 a month? Has he never bought condoms before in his life? I'm sorry this is ridiculous and unacceptable.

I have shotty insurance. I pay 25 bucks a pop! He says that he doesn't want to pay, so GUESS WHAT GIRLS????


No sex for him--period.

Hey, it's his responsibility, too...just because he isn't the one actually using them doesn't mean he's totally off the hook.

I think this is going to lead to a break-up. He REFUSES to pay. This pisses me off. It's unfair. Now I am sad.

:(

That's like the winner I dated who refused to buy condoms. He said, "You're on the Pill...why should I have to use them?" I tried to explain that I have a medical condition and I have to be really careful about stuff like that (especially since he bragged that he'd been with so many girls he "lost count" around 50 or so), but he wouldn't listen. Ultimately he told me I'd have to buy the condoms if I wanted him to wear them. After that, it was pretty much over.

we h ave been dating for 5 yrs. It's all falling apart. Since we are practically married anyways, whats 10 bucks a month. I am soooo pissed off!

What a creep.

Sounds like you'd be better off without him.

The only guy that would pay for a girl's birth control is a gay guy.

-Rudey

Good point. Why is this such an issue for him? Does he want you to get knocked up or is he just being an ass? Is this issue a symptom of something bigger in the relationship?

To play devil's advocate...

I suppose if I were him, I'd be wondering what spurred this sudden need for financial contribution to your birth control needs. Are you in a period of financial hardship? Because if not, I guess I'd want to know why it was a big deal all of the sudden. If I haven't contributed towards the purchase of birth control pills for the past 5 years, what has changed in our relationship that makes you want me to pay half now?

And if you didn't have a very convincing answer to that, I think my curiosity would be peaked. I don't know exactly what I'd be curious about, but I'd think that maybe something was just a little off, and I'd question your motives.

That said, I don't think that asking for half is generally wrong. It seems fair to me!

This sounds like it's not about the birth control.

Have you ever asked your boyfriend to pay half?

-Rudey

I don't pay for my own birth control, so no. And I don't think I would. But maybe if I was paying $25 a month I would...

I'm just saying that most people wouldn't regardless of what some chicks say on here...

-Rudey

Well, I don't know -- probably depends on the situation. If it's a long term relationship, and that's the only form of birth control you're using, I could see a guy paying half. I don't think it'd be reasonable to expect the guy to buy the condoms all the time if that's the only kind of birth control you were using.

I can't imagine what kind of financial straits I'd have to be in to ask, though. It's $25 a month. Asking for half of that just seems like nickle-and-diming the guy to death.

Yeah, $25 is a lot sometimes, but if it's killing you, maybe you should look at cutting out some of the other stuff in your life -- internet access, new clothes, dinners out?


but like I said I don't think this is about the birth control.

I think what it boils down to is that since we aren't engaged, he doesn't want to be "married" yet. And yes, I have asked him numerous times to pay a little towards my pills, since we don't use condoms. I am allergic (and thats a fact). Even 5 bucks would help out. I just don't think it's fair that I pay all of it; it takes two to tango. I don't know.

In my opinion, I think that he doesn't want to feel married yet. I guess if we were engaged it would be a different story. Here lately, it seems like something is bugging him so therefore, he is an ass to me. I am sick of putting up with it. Something must be done.


:mad:

there are condoms made out of things other than latex- such as polyurethane (if tha'ts spelled right) and sheepskin (do they still make these). Anyone I know that's allergic to latex uses those.

Doesn't sound like you two are on the same page about a lot of things, maybe this is a good opportunity to examine your relationship.

my thoughts exactly. Also, we have tried all the condoms on the market besides latex, all are very uncomfy. I need to think long and hard about my relationship (no pun intended).

Could you talk to your doctor about a cheaper prescription? Unless medically you have to have the $25 BC pills, perhaps you could get the $15 or even $10 packs........

I am already on a generic form of Ortho Lo. Right now, my life just seems to be getting worse as far as family and relationships go. My insurance sucks, but I will be switching over to new insurance thru my job very soon!

Honey, I don't think your request is unreasonable.

in lots of cities you can get BC cheap through Planned Parenthood, and often there's a clinic/organization that's not affilitated w/ PP, too. (For example, in Richmond there's the Fan Free Clinic.)

I go to Planned P and thats what they charge me. The state of ky recently cut planned p out of the budget, so no more free or lower price pills.

It's the fact that he won't help me pay, thats why I am pissed. Its just the fact.

I never really have thought about even asking my boyfriend to pay for half the cost of my bc pills, but he has offered.

I just don’t really feel its necessary bc say its $30 a month, if he takes me out to dinner once.. right there is the same cost. Plus we are usually pretty even on who pays for stuff anyway. Sometimes he will pay for us when we do something or go out to eat sometimes I will. We don’t keep track of who owes who what money wise bc its not a big deal.

oh yeah.. to add..

i went to planned parenthood when my insurance was in the process of switching over. It was cheaper which is really nice and everyone there was very nice. I might go there for my next visit just bc I liked them better than my current obgyn.

I agree with everyone else that says this is about something else *nods*

However, paying half isn't unreasonable at all.


Hell, when I started dating my boyfriend 3 years ago he wanted to pay some of it because as he said, "Well, since I'm reaping benefits, I'm might as well help continue the service.." :)

I think that's the general consensus -- in a healthy relationship and under normal circumstances, most girls wouldn't think of asking, and most guys wouldn't mind chipping in.



The fact that she's going nuts about what seems to me a pretty small issue, and tying it into so much other stuff (who would dump an otherwise great guy over $13.50 a month?) is just ridiculous.

If he's an asshole and acting like it, then dump him. Don't make it about the birth control. Just say, "This isn't working out. We shouldn't see each other anymore," and call it a day.



Hahahaha -- added bonus: now you have no reason to pay that $25/month. ;)

I wouldn't ask. But that is because a birth control pill is for you. It is because you made a choice not to get pregnant at that time. (I think it is silly for guys to make sure a girl takes the pill though too- like getting pregnant doesn't mess up the guy's body & depending on the guy, wouldn't necessarily change their life.)

It does sound like you have other issues, and to be honest, that sucks. Especially since you aren't married, this is the time where he should be really nice to you and treat you really well. I doubt it gets better after you are married.

it's deeper then birth control. Found that out today.

Give him the boot; life is too short.

When you're recovered & alone & happy (or with your next boyfriend & happy) you'll wonder why you wasted so much time with this guy.

Really you will.

Thanks, HotDamn. I have loved and lost, believe me. Time heals everything.

Not to pick a fight, but ARE YOU SERIOUS? The birth control pill is for her only?! Getting a girl knocked up wouldn't change a guy's life? Um, have you ever seen dudes get thrown in JAIL for not paying CHILD SUPPORT? Oh man.

Would you also say that if a woman decides she wants to get knocked up and stops taking the pill, that's her decision and the guy should have no say in the matter?

That's very true, Val. I agree with you there!

COSIGN COSIGN COSIGN!

Val-

Haha. No, don't want to pick a fight so I will rephrase, but I am serious.

Say it was me. Ultimately, the birth control pill is for ME. If I got pregnant (by a boyfriend of like 7+ yrs or not, either way), ultimately it would be MY problem. Sure, I would REALLY hope it would be his problem too, but honestly, the pregnancy is mine to deal with.

As jaded as this may sound, there is always a possibility that he will bail- particularly when there is no marriage certificate. Sure there is legal recourse, and although long-term money is important, I am thinking more about the immediate 9 months (the weight gain, doctor visits, insurance coverage, work comp. time). If that is not what I want right now, then you better be darn sure that taking (and paying) for that magic little pill is a top concern for ME.

I have read about guys being put in jail for not paying child support, but realistically, not until they owed tens of thousands of dollars do the courts care around where I live care to throw them in jail. So, great, that is like years of deliquent payments.

Finally, I would hope that a woman would not be so messed up that she would stop taking the pill and trick a guy into getting her pregnant, but I have seen it happen. And, no that is not fair. But, in reality, I think you should think hard and fast about who you are sleeping with. Rarely does psychotic behavior like that come out of nowhere.

What it comes down to is that you need to know and trust who you are sleeping with- HOWEVER, you need to be accountable for the choices you make. So that is why I would say that birth control would be for ME. Who knows if the guy will bail on you- I just wouldn't want to make that gamble.