U Maryland hires live-in "snoops"
 

Greek officials hire eight more SARFs
Student assistant residential fellows may eventually replace house directors

By Zach Coon
May 11, 2005


Some people call them Greek RAs. Some call them narcotic officers. To the university, though, they’re SARFs — graduate students who live in fraternity and sorority houses to provide chapters with advice and keep things in order.

Most fraternities and all sororities have house directors, who live with chapters, are accountable to their housing corporations and deal mostly with housing concerns. But the university is hiring SARFs — student assistant residential fellows — to live with chapters and give them anything from advice on housing issues to programming suggestions and policy infractions. Heidi Biffl, housing coordinator for the Office of Fraternity and Sorority Life, said she’d like SARFs to eventually replace house directors in fraternity and sorority houses.

The office is hiring eight SARFs to move into houses by August 1, and it began the SARF program two years ago in Pi Kappa Alpha and Sigma Phi Epsilon fraternities. Sigma Phi Epsilon President and junior physiology and neurobiology major Jon Hodax said his chapter has grown quite attached to Tiki Ayiku, its SARF.

“All of the brothers really love her,” he said. “[SARFs are] more knowledgeable and more prepared to help you out ... they’re very hands-on, they’re very willing to be involved.”

Junior economics major Drew Gendreau, president of Alpha Sigma Phi, said he has become more optimistic about having a SARF after learning more about the role they would play in the house and talking to members of fraternities who have them. But he said some people have expressed reservations.

“We’re still a little in the dark,” Gendreau said. “I think our chapter members have a general feeling that this person was going to be basically a police officer for the Greek Life office.”

Former Student Government Association President Aaron Kraus, a member of Alpha Sigma Phi who lives at the chapter house, said he didn’t know whether a SARF’s ultimate loyalty would lie with the fraternity or the university.

“Two guys are sitting on the couch talking about whatever, and they’re both 19, and they’re both having a beer. Does the SARF report that to the Office of Greek Life?” he asked. “That’s where the administration hasn’t been very clear.”

SARFs would address each incident differently, said Bob Nichols, assistant director of the Office of Fraternity and Sorority Life. He emphasized that the role of SARFs is to work with members to improve the way each chapter functions but said that he’d like to see SARFs handle policy violations within the chapter first.

“My hope would be that if it’s the first time ... they’re just going to talk to that person and build a relationship, talk about a reason behind things,” he said. “We want to deal with the letter and spirit of the law.”

SARF sounds like some sort of kinky sex that only nerds who have risen to the highest level of the nerd pantheon can have.

Was this the deal where the school was charging the fraternities extra for having this school employee living there, or was that someplace else?

It is not the place of anyone who is not an XYZ to provide "programming suggestions" to XYZ. That's absolutely ridiculous. I would not be OK with this.

Hey...thanks for spilling the secret.

Now we have to rename it!

Which leads me to comment on another case where a thread which is built around what could basically be considered a positive to neutral article and putting an extremely negatively prejudiced topic on the thread.

Why is that necessary? Most of us here are capable of reading about something and making up our own minds.

You got to be real freaky deaky to come up with that one, 33girl. Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!

A.D.I.D.A.S
Who knows what this means???

WOW, this is really a damn joke, right but true!:(

So, I just wonder how this will affect ROTC, Jock Dorms ETC?

What do they call all of those things, acronimes to profess, who in the hell knows?

Sound like Politcal GobblyGook with a Oh This is what the F it is.:p

I would agree with this one.

We have something similar at UPS. Greek Housing Coordinators. They are paid my the University and they live in the houses, BUT they are members of that respective house. I'm not sure what exactly their entire job is but I know they deal a lot with problem with the physical house (things broken, etc). We have a different chapter member that is the House Manager and deals with other things (yes, it often confused me when I was on the HCB).

I need to add though that at UPS the University owns the houses so they are responsible for the upkeep.

That is no different that me (being a Greek advisor) providing programming suggestions to the chapters I advise (or no different that Greekchatters giving suggestions to other Greekchatters). They need my help...I advise them. If a SigEp comes to me and says "We have to do a Risk Mgmt program for our chapter" then I could suggest "How about doing a program on fire safety?"

Eastern Illinois U. has the same type of position in their Greek housing.

PsychTau

Actually, yes, it's a great deal of difference.

You were hired specifically for your knowledge of Greek life. You probably have a degree in student affairs in higher ed. If someone asks you a question you can't answer, you defer to their national HQ or NIC/NPC.

I see no evidence that these SARFs will do any of those things. They just seem like the garden variety grad assistant - and that's another thing, these people are still students - except they stick them in Greek houses.

I think what CC means is - for example, our membership program is called Advantage and you have to do certain things to earn the required "Advantage points." If they asked one of these SARFs "will doing a car wash count for Advantage points?" they would not know, unless they were a sister. I would not want a nonsister saying "yes, you can use that" and have the chapter think that was the same as an advisor who was a member. Many groups have very specific things they need to complete and they need to go to members first, not a random grad student.

Then I guess we're thinking of this differently. Some of these grad students may be working on their Master's in Higher Ed...some may want to be Greek Advisors (or Res Life Coordinators) someday. I can see where this would be valuable experience for them. I can't see how someone who is working on a Master's in Physics would want this to be their assistantship (it would have little benefit for them in their job market). That should play into the selection process. I'm also reading this article (which really doesn't give us all the detailed info...but anyway...) with Eastern Illinois in mind (an AST sister there is working on her Masters and lives in as a Housing Director for 2 fraternities) and thinking that these students would be smart enough to know what questions they can and cannot answer. I'm also thinking that the chapter members would be able to figure that out as well (i.e. the SARF could answer questions about university policy, and maybe FIPG policy if they learned it, but it would be obvious that they wouldn't know org-specific questions).
I guess it all depends on how the program is set up and managed. Could be a great thing...could be a disaster. Guess we'll see...

PsychTau

Exactly. I would have no problem with a MEMBER living in-house and serving in that capacity. A random non-member, no way. Being a Greek advisor gives some credibility to suggestions- being a student who is NOT a member does not.

In my org, we have plenty of area officers, advisors, etc. who I would ask, "We need to do a risk management program; what should we do?" I would not necessarily ask the Greek advisor and I surely would not ask another student who is not a member of my org.

Our house mother certainly wasn't an initiated Delt. But we went to her with all kinds of problems and she advised us on many things -- both personally and as a chapter.

The difference, of course, is that we hired her -- not the university. All the same, to say that in order to guide a chapter, someone has to be a member of that particular organization flies in the face of years of Greek tradition.

While I don't think that the Resident Supervisor has to be a member of the GLO that he/she is supervising, I do think that the GLO should have control over who that person is. I think it's fine for Universities/Colleges to require a Resident Supervisor, but I think the hiring/firing and performance evaluations should be up to the GLO. I also wouldn't want some random grad student telling our chapters how they are to be run. That is the job of the alumnae and the exec boards. If the University owns the housing, then I would think they would get more control. This could be a great thing, but it could also spell disaster. We have an extensive set of developed programs that we prefer our chapters use and would rather be the ones recommending which programs would most benefit our members.

A housemother is an adult, not a student, and is employed by your organization. To me, it's totally different.

So are you saying that an upper classperson or grad student isn't an adult?

Actually, I understand you point and agree with it.

However, I think that this is an underlying and not often discussed mindset that is a susbstantial piece of the puzzle of not only Risk Management, but of Greek Life/University relations on the whole.

When I was in college, I was in transition. I wanted to be treated as an adult, but still party every night until dawn. To make matters worse, I thought I had a whole lot more experience in life than I actually did.

I only wanted to take responsibility when it worked in my favor.

As I've advised chapters and taught courses at the college level, it is remarkable how much "older" seniors are than freshmen. Obviously, I mean mentally as oppossed to chronologically. There is a lot of maturing going on over those four or five years.

It sounds like, to some extent, these folks are little more than RA's -- and my experience, and that of my two children who went to or are attending college -- is that an RA is a fellow student who probably wants to fit in and isn't likely to cause any grief unless it really is absolutely necessary. It's a form of peer pressure. The one semester I lived in a dorm, I saw the RA at the beginning of the year -- and literally never again.

In the end, it comes down to this. If the chapter is being a good citizen, having one of the folks in the house shouldn't be a problem. If the chapter isn't and has something to hide, that's different.

LOL, you sure had different RAs than I did. We had one we referred to as "Rambo" for her propensity to think the dorm was an Army barracks and should be run the same way.

The article doesn't say, but do the groups have any approval over who is placed with them? If not, what's to stop someone with an anti-Greek agenda from getting one of these assistantships and really making things miserable for the GLO?

Here's the job description...
 

according to this they won't be "random" students...they will be selected and trained by the Greek Life Office (and be staff members of that office).

TITLE: GRADUATE ASSISTANT, 12 MONTHS
POSITION: STUDENT AFFAIRS RESIDENTIAL FELLOW
RESPONSIBILITIES: The Greek Life Student Affairs Residential Fellow will work as a live-in advisor in a fraternity or sorority chapter
house on Fraternity Row or the Graham Cracker, as well as perform other duties as assigned within the Office of Fraternity and Sorority Life by
the Director of Greek Facilities. Student Affairs Residential Fellows will have the opportunity to participate in a monthly roundtable discussion
with senior level Student Affairs staff members. S/he will live in a chapter house on Fraternity Row or the Graham Cracker and will assist in
providing house management and advising services to a resident population of approximately 33 students. The Student Affairs Residential
Fellow is a graduate staff member for the Office of Fraternity and Sorority Life. This Graduate Assistant receives direct supervision and training
from the Director of Greek Facilities. This position requires strong administrative, organizational, communication and leadership skills. In
addition, the successful GA will demonstrate flexibility, adaptability and will be able to function within a collaborative team environment. The
GA must maintain a positive attitude and represent the University and the Department appropriately. Specific areas of involvement include:
• Assist in providing a positive developmental living experience for house residents and chapter members
• Develop and implement programs which respond to the specific needs of the chapter
• Develop and maintain good interpersonal relationships with residents
• Serve as a referral agent for University and community services
• Complete written reports, attend scheduled meetings, and perform other duties as assigned by the Office of Fraternity and Sorority Life and
the chapter House Corporation
• Assist in the organization and implementation of Fall and Spring check-in and check-out processes and closings at Thanksgiving, Semester
Recess, and Spring Recess
• Assist in student damage assessment and billing
• Complete administrative tasks such as coordination of room rosters and unit inspections
• Maintain effective working relationships with House Corporation and Chapter Officers
• Assist in coordinating house management, including kitchen operation, security and safety procedures, and reporting maintenance problems
• Promote compliance with the policies, rules and regulations, as stated and implied by the University, the general fraternity, the House
Corporation and undergraduate chapter
• Issue keys and maintain key records
• Manage allocated operation budget, if assigned
• Supervise all house personnel (cooks, caterers, cleaning service, etc.) and contract service (housekeeping, grounds, etc.) and ensure that all
contracted services are performed as agreed
• Additional responsibilities may also be provided by the House Corporation
• Assist the Director of Greek Facilities with facilities projects
• Help students understand their responsibilities, as adults, to know and obey laws
• Serve as a liaison between the House Corporation and the chapter members
• Assist the housing corporation and chapter in developing long term goals regarding facilities, operations and membership
• Meet with executive board members and the house manager routinely to assist in setting goals and objectives
• Other duties as assigned
This position requires a commitment of approximately 20 hours per week, including some evening and weekend hours. Additional hours may
occasionally be required to perform all job responsibilities. This is a 12-month, live-in position.
QUALIFICATIONS: Must be enrolled as a full-time (10 or more credit hours / semester) graduate student at the University of Maryland.
SALARY: 10 hours of tuition credit per semester with additional stipend dependent upon graduate student status. Housing
includes unfurnished two-room suite with full bath. Gas, electric, water, and telephone are included. Meals are
negotiable.
APPOINTMENT: August 2004 to July 2005

PsychTau

It seems like it is a lot like an RA or a Hall director...in this world I think it could help groupsn by having that person there (granted they have to be some sort of civil)

I agree with CC.

I wouldn't want a non-member trying to implement a program for my chapter who knows nothing about my organization.

My organization and I'm sure all others, already have specific programs that chapters are required to participate in. Also, any function, activity, etc. for my chapter has to at least be approved by our AAC.

I personally don't think any of the other duties that the SARF would be required to perform are unreasonable, it's just the one about programming that bothers me.

Re: Here's the job description...
 

There is NO WAY these activities (for some of them, I'm specifically referring to the ones that are underlined) should be performed by a nonmember. Why in the hell do collegiate sisters and alumnae sisters (which is who the House Corp is made up of) need a non-member as a liason??

I know that there are chapters that have nonmembers as advisors - but that was by the choice of the chapter. Those people have been thoroughly vetted and approved by the national organization and are given training as to how that specific org works.

If they want to have SARFs there as a house mom or RA type of person, fine, but I'll be damned if someone who is not a member of my org is going to tell me what my long term membership goals are.

I didn't even see that part about membership, but I agree with you 33girl 100%.

Apparently the University does own the houses, according to their web site, so I guess having an RA type person to do all the management of the house is ok. I'm not familiar with any chapters who have this type of arrangement, so it's not clear to me how they work. If the sorority/fraternity are paying directly for a service though, then our own people need to look at and review contracts before we sign them. We have systems in place for a lot of these things, like room rosters (I assume they mean room assignments?). Are the groups already paying Resident Supervisors to do most of this stuff and they will be out of jobs? I have a lot of questions about a lot of their job duties and would need answers to them before coming to a final opinion on this whole thing, BUT, I can definitely say that I agree that they should have no part in the things that 33girl highlighted.

I do agree with this, but...

But after reading the extensive list of the duties this SARF would be responsible for, I am still left wondering why a member could not serve all of these functions? At my school, both the fraternities and sororities live in on-campus dorms. Each hall has a Housing Manager, who is both an elected officer in the chapter and a paid employee of UNCG. They serve in the same capacity as an RA, but are members of our respective organizations. I really feel like having a member serve in this capacity increases our autonomy and recognizes the special needs of Greek housing.

I understand that houses, instead of dorms, may require more management. But what purposes are the House Directors not fulfilling that these SARFs will? I'm guessing it's the "policing" aspect of the job- and that just doesn't seem appropriate.

My concern would be these people seeing/hearing ritual or secret information. What if these people want to have friends over on a night when you're having an important ritual? That's letting nonmembers into the house and potentially exposing ritual information. That's not to say that these SARFS would go spreading it around, but that information is priviledged to membership only.

I went to Maryland and trust me they have been trying hard to get rid of the Greek system for quite some time. SARFS or no SARFs they wont take us down!

You have to deal with it the same way groups do that have a house mother. Somewhere secure in the building.

I actually think the SARF things is a great idea.
I was an RA in an all freshman dorm and i was definately not a peer trying to fit in but was also not a 'rambo. its about keeping the residents safe.
as far as programming goes-just because someone doesn't know my group doesn't mean they don't ahve any valid ideas. nothing ever said the GLO had to do whatever programming idea teh SARF suggested. Its just that, a suggestion. and honestly from what I've seen, most GLOs need help with programming. Having someone help them with suggestions will 1) make them more productive, 2) help give alternatives to hazing through positive programming suggestions and 3) keep chapters from doing the same stuff all the time and becomign monotnous for the members.
as far as ritual goes, the SARF doesn't ahve to be int eh room while its going on. They can be notified as to when it will be and they are asked to not be int eh house or stay int ehir room. If they is hazing going on with people int eh basement or something they should take care of that, but they will understand the sacredness of ritual.
for what i see, the people who take these types of positions are 1) in a higher ed grad program or 2) where in a GLO in undergrad. they understand the importance of secrets and aren't going to take the group down. that is overreacting. i see these people who are so adamently against this as being so for a reason-ie they don't want to get caught doing something they shouldnt or they don't want to feel like they are being babysat. but honestly, while we still have hazing deaths, alcohol deaths and fires and stuff caused by stupidity, i think we need people regulating and watching out for greeks. i don't want any greeks to die or whatever and if the SARFs can prevent even 1 person from dying or chapter from closing, they are worht it. also, it keeps parents from worrying so much about there kids if their is a university-trained person lookign out for their kids.
also, i feel a member of the housed org would not be the best choice for that house's SARF-type employee. what if the chapter did all sorts of stuff but the SARF didn't want to turn in their chapter or they didn't see it as wrong, they could just go on covering stuff up as greeks have for years.

just my two cents:

Unless their is excessive drinking, a situation of hazing, or attending university meetings on risk management and filling out reports on the number of events to the university-the grad student RA would most likely be out of the picture. Why? Because depending upon their course load-they will be too busy with their own coursework. Not to mention they do have their own social life and obligations. Alot of assistantships not within their own department are viewed as a part-time job and a means to pay for grad school.

Do you feel it's a good idea for a nonmember to tell you what your long term membership goals should be?

It has nothing to do with babysitting, it has to do with someone knowing what the needs of that org are. And the description DOES say "develop and implement programs."

33girl-my guess any development and implementation of programs would most likely have to due with alcohol and drug prevention, date rape, domestic violence, etc. and not anything to do with the GLO's national goals for a chapter. IF that is the case, I have no problem with a nonmember helping to develop those types of programs. GLO's bring in outside consultants all the time. Anything else-yes I would have problem and that's were the advisory board would mostly likely intervene with a good sit down talk with the university administration.

Sometimes advisors have a little more pull with university administrators than do actives because they are viewed as adults and not as students. This doesn't imply that actives are not skilled or old enough but rather just the perceptions of the administration.

Most if not all fraternities and sororities now have resources to help you find programs on date rape etc. And if not...I mean, you go to campuspeak.com and find the program you want. You really don't need a SARF to do that. You just need a Greek advisor to tell you about it.

And 2 questions of mine that still haven't been answered - are the GLOs being forced to pay for these people? And do the Greek groups have a right to pick from several candidates?

maybe this is just mine, but how would a chapter afford to bring in a speaker from campusspeak? that would be ridiculously expensive. however, working with a SARF to 'implement' the idea your chapter had might be good. they might be able to work with administration to get funding or they could find another office on campus to co-sponsor the speaker so they could actually come.

i just don't see why you have a such a problem with this school doing somthing they think will help Greeks. I think that is great. The amount of money they must be setting aside for this is awesome. My school would never ever show that much support for our greek system.

and on another note, it is more opportunity for greeks in graduate school to make some money for school while helping out the greek community they love so much. i wish my grad school would have these as an option for a grad assistantship. most schools only have 1 ga position in greek life and that is the only way to be directly involved with greeks and get paid (being an alumni advisor rocks too but unfortunately it doesn't pay the bills).

also, UMD is known as having the most progressive higher ed grad and doctorate programs and are at the forfront of many nwe things in the feilds of student affairs. if this doesn't work out, they will try something different. but being negative about something we don't expereince first hand is not helping anyone.

I still agree with 33girl. If I want to implement a new program within my chapter, we have a VP who is in charge of programming. We have an advisor. We have an Area Operations Director who will have many suggestions. We have HELPFUL ALUMNAE, who can serve in a myriad number of ways. There are several people who are members of my org. that I would consult before I would ever consider asking this SARF for advice. If I wanted to get campus funding, I would go to SGA myself on the appropriate day, follow the appropriate procedures, and ask them myself for the funds. I do not need an extra liaison from the chapter to the school, chapter to the Housing Corp, or chapter to the Greek Life office. My chapter has been filling those positions more than adequately, and we do not need a non-member to serve in that capacity.

If I WANTED to consult with an outside consultant, I would be able to find the appropriate contact and do so myself. I don't need a SARF waiting in the wings to offer their help, particularly regarding programming and membership. If this were happening at my school, I would consider it a serious insult to our autonomy as an organization.

That's great! I'm glad you would know how to go about helping your chapter, but not all members are as astute as you are. And I really feel you shouldnt just write off the help of the SARFs. I love getting new sugestions from other people. It gives a new perspective and ideas I maybe wouldnt have thought of. I mean, a thing like UIFI works that way and is extremely sucessful. Members from all different greek orgs, schools and student affiars offices get together and exchange ideas! It is so helpful and so many of the students get alot from members not in their own fraternity or sorority and these members have been going to their own chapter advisors for years. There is always an opportunity to learn something new.
Also, we are a greek COMMUNITY, a greek FAMILY. we need to work as a group and then everyone will benefit and those who really need help will improve, without losing the inividuality each organization has.

As one of the few graduates of UMD (and a member of the greeksystem) on this board, can I put in my $.02? Though having graduated many years ago, maybe it's only worth $.01.

The Maryland greek system has gone through MAJOR and MANY changes since the late 1980's that have adversly affected the system as a whole.

Off the top of my head these are the chapters that I know have left the campus and why:

Kappa Kappa Gamma -- internal problems and it was a HUGE blow to the system because they were one of the best houses on campus.
Pi phi -- low numbers
AZD -- low numbers
GAmma Phi Beta -- low numbers
AGD -- recolonized to a few years later going bye bye due to low numbers.

Sigma Chi -- am not really sure why they left and another blow to the system (IMO) because they were great when I was there.
SAE -- death of a member and again another top group
PSK -- see SAE
TEP -- I think they are gone

Zeta Tau Alpha came on capmpus in the late 1980s and still here but many sororities have left (see above.)

Quite frankly, I think it's amazing that UMD has a greek system at all. We would speak about how easy making fraternity row and the graham cracker (where the houses are) into either offices or multicultural housing or even straight dorms because the greek system has been riddled with problems. Not to mention more rules and regulations in order to have a party, remain an organized and recognized group on campus has been somewhat a turn off by the greek system -- but they know they must abide or lose their charter.

Granted, I do not know all the details regarding this new SARF program but the fact that the administration is willing to implement anything to help keep them around I feel is a good thing.

It would be such a shame if UMD lost their greek system because I loved every minute of my time there and the fraternity row/graham cracker part of the campus is so beautiful.

And, FWIW, I heard that last year (or the year before that) the UMD greek system won best greek system from all MidAtlantic schools so they must be doing something right.

Just my comments.

dznat, I was going to reply but CC pretty much said everything I was going to.

Again, I ask - do you approve of a nonmember (who isn't an advisor approved by your national office) telling you what your membership goals should be? Would you really want a grad student from (random example) Kappa Kappa Gamma at Pitt telling you how many members you should have, how you should recruit, what methods you should use?

And I went to Clarion, so believe me, I'm familiar with how the Greek systems at the state schools work. Maybe UMD is willing to put more $$ into the Greek system, but it certainly isn't free. I'd love to see more support for Greeks at all the SSHE schools, but IMO providing an atmosphere where they can thrive (i.e. a pro-Greek administration that conveys this sentiment to incoming students) and increasing campus opportunities in general so students will stay around on weekends and get involved is far more important than throwing a bunch of $$$ and programs at us.

aabby757, thank you for your insight. i agree that a school showing any support of greek life is super helpful.

as far as having a non-member come in and help my chapter with membership-hell, i would have loved that! maybe they could have brought an idea we hadn't thought of. actually, i got some great recruitment help from people at UIFI last summer and then after we implimented them, we had the most sucessful rush we've had in years. we would have died off prolly but we were able to stay strong and double our numbers in one semester. we also had women from some of the other sororities giving us suggestion and help. that was so great and really helped bring us closer to those chapters (more greek community=good).
however i don't really think the sarfs are there to tell you who to take and how to recruit them. what i understood fromt he job description is that they are supossed to make sure 'proper' recruiting is occurring (ie. no alcohol in rush-more a problem for the men from what ive seen) and help out with ideas and plannign with recruitment if the chapter needs or wants it. maybe im wrong in this interpretation but i highly doubt UMD would tell anyone to go into a chapter and take over their recruitment process. greek advisors don't do that, so why should a sarf?

also, UMD and the SSHE schools are so different I would never compare them.

I am sure that someone has touched on this but I'm too lazy to read all of the posts so I am just gonna throw my two cents in anyway....

On my campus we had/have housing directors, elderly women who take care of the house and of us. Unofficialy the are the house mom's cause that is really what they come to be for us. Moms. When our housemom Donna announced that she was moving to another house a lot of us cried because you really come to care about these women because they are there more than to keep your house on track, they are there to be your mom away from home. Now I cannot possibly imagine that some random graduate student could be that for the girls in the house. Plus as a graduate student that means that they are going to be done at some point and so you'll have to get a new one...some of the chatpers have had the same house mom for years. When Alpha Phi's house mom died a few years ago they held a big memorial thingy at their house because being a fantastic woman she really touched the lives of the entire greek community. I just don't see a graduate student doing that.....For the house mom the girls and the house are her first priority, for a graduate student obviously school is going to be first priority. Also I really don't like the idea of the university getting to decide on someone who lives in my house, I mean that is meant to be your sanctuary...

In retrospect on House Momss
 

St. Petersburg Times
May 7, 2005

Mom to 22, and frat boys at that


House mom Mimi Howard keeps the shenanigans to a minimum at Kappa Sigma
fraternity house at the University of Florida.

By LANE DeGREGORY, Times Staff Writer

GAINESVILLE - "There was the food fight," Mom says. "Oh, my, yes, the food
fight." That hot buttered roll came soaring across the dining room, smacked
her square in the head.

Then there was the time they turned her house into a pirate ship: built a
bow on the balcony, a crow's nest on the roof. "You should've seen the
party we had!" she says.

She glides back and forth on her wide front porch swing outside Kappa Sigma
fraternity, slipping through shadows, dipping into puddles of bright spring
sun. She sits here most mornings, watching the door. Nick and Jason just
left for the gym. Matt, Shawn and Thomas are picking up a pizza. James will
be by soon.

It's quiet on this Thursday morning. No stereos blaring. No one screaming
as they careen off the Slip 'N Slide. "They pulled out all the hoses last
week, flooded this whole yard," Mom says, chuckling. "Oh, my, yes. They
were running and sliding on their bellies, having a great time." But some
boys missed the slide and shot into the bushes. Mom scrubbed their elbows,
bandaged their knees. Really.

She has found boys passed out in her lawn chairs, fighting in her kitchen,
sneaking girls upstairs. She confiscates their liquor, patches their shirts
and their friendships, holds them while they sob over girls. "These boys
want you to think they're all grown up. But they're not," she says. "Not yet."

***

Mimi "Mom" Howard has 96 boys, ages 18 to 23. Only 22 of them live at home.
Her two-story brick house has a dozen bedrooms upstairs.

Mom sleeps downstairs, off the alcove where she sets out cereal. A wipeoff
board adorns her always-open door. Mom's at church. Mom's at the grocery.
Mom will be back by noon, she writes.

Sometimes, the boys scrawl messages to her. We (heart) you, Mom! And her
favorite: Mom's hanging around with the wrong crowd!

She's the manager of the Kappa Sigma house at the University of Florida -
one of the school's last true frat moms.

"Only six of our 22 frat houses still have moms," says Chris Bullins,
director of the university's Office of Sorority and Fraternity Affairs.
"Most houses are hiring house managers who are younger and have day jobs,
or grad students."

But the guys at Kappa Sig don't want young - they love Mom. They were the
ones who interviewed her, who hired her. They think she's in her 50s, about
the age of their own moms. If they only knew. . . .

***

"Hi, Mom!" James Martin shouts, running up the circular driveway just after
11 a.m. James is the fraternity president. "How you feeling?" he asks,
sinking beside her on the swing.

Mom just got back from the doctor. Her back is spasming again, even after
the surgery. Her right foot aches beneath the brace. But she doesn't want
to worry her boys. "Grand, just grand," she says, her soft cheeks folding
into a smile.

With less than a week to go before graduation, the guys are getting ready
to let loose.

"Gator Stomp tonight. You want to come?" James asks, teasing. He doesn't
have to translate. Mom is well aware of her boys' end-of-semester routine:
10 bars, 10 drinks, two slices of pizza and a Coke.

"Oh my, you know I don't like that Gator Stomp thing," Mom says, fingering
the thin gold cross at her throat. "Someone always gets hurt."

She already lost one of her boys this year: Chris Smalls died in a car
accident in January. And she still grieves for her own son, Matthew. He's
what brought her here.

***

"Oh, my. I don't remember this hanging like that last night," Mom says,
peering up at the EXIT sign above the dining room door. The lighted sign is
dangling above her head, twirling on a tangled rope of wires. Mom clicks it
off. She makes a call to get it fixed.

She limps through the dining room, straightening metal folding chairs. She
doesn't cook for the frat house, but she makes the menus. Pork chops and
meatloaf, mashed potatoes with gravy. Every night, she eats with her boys
at one of the long tables.

"She does everything for this house," James says. "Everything a real mom does."

For liability reasons, the boys have to have a house manager. But they
don't have to include her in their lives. These guys taught Mom all about
PlayStation, to twirl the knobs on foosball. They invite her to football
games, to go line-dancing. Once a month, Brett brings a DVD to her
apartment and flops on the floor by Mom's feet, to watch with her.

"Sometimes, they'll wake me up at 3 a.m. asking, "Where's the peanut
butter?' But I don't mind. Really. I've learned to sleep through heavy
metal bands and I never get up early anymore," she says. She doesn't fuss
about noise.

But she won't tolerate liquor, girls staying overnight, or underage drinking.

"She'll ask you what's in your cup, then sniff it, to make sure," James
says. "She won't let any of the younger guys have anything except soda."

"Of course they get mad at me sometimes," she says proudly. "I'm a mom."

And like any mom, she doesn't know everything that goes on.

***

Before Mom was Mom, she was Marion, then Mimi. She worked in the insurance
business in West Virginia and raised three sons on her own after she got
divorced. When her youngest, Matthew, got sick, she sold the agency and
moved to Port Charlotte to care for him.

She wanted him to at least feel the sun.

"I lost Matthew to leukemia 10 years ago, when he was only 34," Mom says,
slow tears streaking through her powder. "After that, I sort of ran away."

In the years after he died, Mom tried to kill the loneliness. She adopted a
Siamese cat, met a man, spent weekends visiting her five grandchildren,
hanging out with the "Red Hatters." But she needed more. "I was bored with
all those white-haired old ladies," Mom says, patting her own frosty bangs.
"All they talk about is their aches and doctors' appointments."

One day, a friend told her about a UF sorority that needed a house mom. Can
you imagine, the friend asked. Imagine living with and dealing with and
trying to discipline a bunch of college girls. Who would want to do that?

"Me," Mom said suddenly. "I would. Very much."

Two weeks later, she had sold her home and moved to Gainesville, where she
crammed a quarter of her furniture into two tiny rooms at the Delta Phi
Epsilon house. She stayed with the girls for six years.

But she wanted boys. She knew boys. Boys were easier.

When the house mom at Kappa Sig left two years ago, Mom moved into the
three-room apartment on the fraternity's first floor. It's frustrating for
her, and fortunate for the boys, that her bad back keeps her from climbing
stairs - so she can't inspect their bedrooms. Their upstairs living room
also is Mom-free.

***

"My boys come back here all the time to visit," Mom says, walking into her
apartment. "I must get five, six hugs a day."

She sinks into a striped chair beside her sofa. Even here, in her
sanctuary, she keeps her boys with her. On her TV and shelves, silver
frames surround their smiles. The white rose Thomas gave her during the
ROTC ceremony sits on her table. He said it was for his favorite woman in
his life.

"This is home. I don't have any other. I'm here all summer, with at least a
dozen of my boys," she says. The cat crawls into her lap. James leans over
an end table, studying a photo. He's been in her apartment often, but he
doesn't remember this picture of the blue-eyed baby.

"That's Olivia," Mom says, her voice choked with emotion. "My
great-granddaughter. My first great. . . . I just got her."

So how old are you then, Mom, to be a great-grandmother? More than 50,
which is what your boys guessed? "Oh my yes," she says, laughing. More than
60? "Oh my yes." More than 70? "Stop there," Mom says, holding up her hand
like a crossing guard. "I'm 80," she says finally. "How many women my age
do you know who can say they get to sleep with 22 boys every night?"

James laughs and rises to leave. His girlfriend and a bunch of the guys are
waiting. "We're going to grab some lunch. Want to come with us, Mom?"

She gets up too, slowly, steadying herself against the arm chair. "Oh my no
- thank you," she says, following him back through the frat house. She
walks out the front door, shuffles across the porch. "You boys go along,
have a good time!" She folds into her swing and starts rocking again,
slowly, watching her boys' backs.



There is alot to be said about the above.

I do not neccesarily agree with out side sources coming in that will cost The Chapter a lot of money that cannot be afforded. It the School wishes to put this on for all GLOs then Okay.

It is always nice when someone can come in and show how it should be done in the broad frame of things. But, each situation can and will be different.