Gentlemen, talk about your masturbation stories in here
 

Now remember, no joking. This is serious talk.

Who will be the first to post their story of pride in solitude?

Who will share their intimate details with the world and hope for acceptance?

-Rudey
--Step forth, Rob!

Re: Gentlemen, talk about your masturbation stories in here
 

I'll step into the box - in a non-descript time, and a non-descript place, I stayed with an ex-girlfriend under much duress and crying about her wanting me to 'not hate her' . . . well, I'm thinking I might get laid out of the deal, so I reluctantly agree. She, of course, being the exact same human being I've known my whole life, gets super pissed at absolutely nothing and decides to be a passive/aggressive douche all weekend.

Needless to say, the last thing I wanted to do was her.

So after a particularly brutal argument, she has to run to work one morning - I wake up massively drunk, and decide that if I'm going to have to burn a bridge, I might as well do it on my terms. The next part will be glossed over, but it essentially goes something like:

download hardcore porn ---> do what I need to do ---> leave porn on desktop so she can enjoy as well ---> pack up my stuff ---> leave ---> tell my buddies what happened ---> victory

-RC
--it's not nearly as gross as it sounds, i 'kept it to myself' and kept it clean . . . I probably shouldn't post this

Re: Re: Gentlemen, talk about your masturbation stories in here
 

And you posted about it on Greekchat. That's the best part. The part where you posted your masturbation stories on Greekchat. They didn't involve dildos, cucumbers and hot dogs though!

-Rudey

Re: Re: Re: Gentlemen, talk about your masturbation stories in here
 

hahahaha - i'd do it again

If I had more than one story, I'd tell that one too.

Why's everyone so uptight around here? Jesus guys, its' not even recruitment yaaaaaay

okay since you shared so will I-

I was 13, and was supposed to score, but her brother walked in and ruined everything. I went home and cranked it so hard that it bled. Some one else post now, I don't want to be the last one to talk.

Re: Re: Re: Re: Gentlemen, talk about your masturbation stories in here
 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


awesome.

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Gentlemen, talk about your masturbation stories in here
 

Damn, I saw hotdamn's name as the last post and got all excited: I thought she was sharing her masturbation experiences . . . otherwise I have been avoiding this thread like the plague :p

this thread was viewed 254 times and only 2 people posted masturbation stories???

wtf!?!?

awwwwww... c'mon!!!!


i swear you guys better make this interesting.



-----------------------

for some reason....i can't wait to hear rudey's, cashmoney's and moe.ron's

Well.

And well.

There is nothing really sexy about a man masturbating.

We don't have elaborate fantasies. There are no toys that we generally use. Its generally quick.

I am not sure that the thought of a man stroking his meat to a Girls Gone Wild Video is going to stimulate women.

LAdies, does the mental image of a man masturbating turn you women on?

Mental images of women doing it certainly turn men on.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! That's all I have to say about that.

I stopped at my parents house. There was a copy of magazine on the coffee table. Nobody was home at the time and I was bored. I took the magazine into the bedroom and started to pleasure myself. After a few minutes my mother came home and she screamed "maaax, what are you doing?" She started to faint so I had a choice, either catch her or zip up. I couldn't exactly help her in my condition so I decided to zip up. She ended up falling and had to go to the hospital. Anyhow, I am never doing thaat again.

Hokay, so.

This one time, a guy with his arm in a cast bought me a drink and then I asked him about the cast and he said he broke his arm jerking it in the shower.

I think we need to boycott this sexist thread. Why can't you ask the women for THEIR stories Rudey??

:p

i would have that this thread would have reached 15 posts by now...


:rolleyes:

There are numerous threads with discussions by chicks on GC about how they rub their beans.

-Rudey

Jimmy Hendrickson was in my 7th grade french class. He was a weirdo and pretty much kept to himself. He always set in the back corner and would read the french book the entire time with his chair tilted back against the wall. This was until one day when Ms. Stallings called on him and he didnt answer. So she went and pulled the book from under his eyes and revealed he had his tallywacker between the pages thumbing himself... ahh, middle school. Im sure Ms Stallings has never grabbed a book from a student again...

A kid was doing that in a lab I had freshman year. The TA walked over to him and he had both hands down his pants. The TA had no idea what to do, so he cracked up laughing, asked the kid to go to the restroom and continued with the lab. All of us in the class were in complete shock.

I guess the kid REALLY liked science.

my 2 cents
 

OK...Maybe this is weird and maybe I am just a freak but I LOVE to watch my man handle himself. We have plenty of experiences WITH each other but I find it very erotic to watch. One of my very favorite experiences was when I walked in on him looking at a bit of soft porn and beginning to take care of it because he thought I was still asleep.I wrapped my arms around him from behind and whispered in his ear..."Do you need some help?" It was H-O-T and went from there!!

Re: my 2 cents
 

Well...I will sleep better tonight knowing so much about your sex life, good god. :eek: :eek:

I'm sorry...I must have missed the part that says we're supposed to pass judgement. I was just adding my own story because i thought someone might enjoy a woman's point of view. I forgot about how prudish some people are.

Re: my 2 cents
 

Rock on, rock on :D

Have you guys had anal yet?

-Rudey

Agreed. The topic of the thread should've tipped you off as to the subject being discussed. If you don't want to read about it, don't click. :cool:

one time with the maid's passport pictu.....ooops, never mind....wrong site.

:eek:

I GOT A REALY BAD ONE, oNE OF THE ACTIVES DRUING HIS PLEDGE SEMSTER GOT THE TASK TO JACK OFF ON A PIECE OF BREAD. sO HE DID, AND ONE OF THE SERVERS TOOK IT TO SOMEONE'S TABLE

that made my day, thanks man