Do you want kids?
 

I just had a very interesting experience at Walgreen's. I'm at the checkout with my box of tissues and cough drops when the cashier says "So, is it going to be a good mother's day for you?"

Huh? Nothing about my appearance (except maybe the wedding ring) or what I'm buying says "I'm a mom!". So, I figure he's just trying to making conversation, and I say "I'm not a mother." Then I involuntarily add a "ugh" because the thought of having kids really creeps me out. In general, I don't care for children, nor do I relish the thought of being pregnant or tied down to a child's schedule.

The person behind me (whose appearance DID say "I'm a soccer mom!") says, very antagonistically, "What's so 'ugh' about having children???"

I say "I personaly just don't want children," and she proceeds to look at me like I'm the worst person to ever walk the earth. What gives? Why are some people so sensitive about this? Why do some people think that everyone should be really, really excited about having kids? You want kids? Great, go forth and multiply, but please keep them away from my restaurant table.

Kids are a big responsibility that I do not want, and my life is fabulous without them. Maybe someday I'll change my mind, but I don't see it happening anytime soon. Can anyone else relate?

I do not want children for all the reasons you have just mentioned.

I don't know about the lady behind you, but I wasn't put on this planet to spit out kids and take them to soccer practice on the weekends AND serve on the PTA. Fuuuuuuck that. :rolleyes:

i hope to have 3 or 4.

Hey, you don't get to vote! You won't be HAVING the kids. :p

sure i do. what if i adopt?

I don't ever want kids. I don't relate to children well & never have. Even with past babysitting experiences when I was in high school I had a hard time understanding children & their needs. I get frustrated that they don't understand what I'm trying to help them understand most times. I don't have the patience to raise a child, let alone several of them! I have this fear that I'll let them down or try to force them to do all the things I never got to do. I know I'll never be happy as they progress from childhood to adulthood because if they aren't 100% successful I'll completely blame myself & possibly end up resenting them for it!

My boyfriend has children & I get to spend some time w/ them every so often. I get along great with them & I think its just because we only see each other for a limited amount of time. If I actually had to "mother" them I don't know what I would do!

Re: Do you want kids?
 

This is TOTALLY how I feel. I hate it when people look at me like I have three heads b/c I say that I don't want children. They say, "Why not?" and go off on a diatribe about how wonderful it is.

I do know that if I ever do decide it's time for Mr. AXiD670 and I to have children, I'd like to hire a surrogate. I do NOT want to be pregnant. I told him this recently, and he seemed rather shocked and wouldn't have a conversation about it.

I don't get it. How are you comparing adoption with physically bearing a life inside of you for 9 months and then shoving 6-9 pounds of it out of your nanz?

The latter is enough to steer many women away from having children.

I knew there were more people who didn't want kids. Whenever I tell someone that, they think that is something real strong to say. I don't even want to get married and therefore I don't want any kids.

I am too much into doing what I want to do and you can't do that when you have to stop and figure out what to do with someone else in order for you to do what you want.

I don't have time for all that carrying on. Sheesh. Besides these days kids are terrible. I know I will have some bad kids because I'm ornery as h***. I wouldn't discipline them so they would act like those kids on Supernanny. Then I really couldn't do anything because nobody in thier right mind would watch their bad tails.

Disclaimer:
If I ever do get pregnant, I'm paying child support.

RedRoseSAI, I once felt the same way that you do, back when I was in college and only into myself and my needs. Now that I am a little bit older and maybe a little bit wiser I would love to have a child. Notice how I said a child. They are a huge responsibility and they take a lot of money!! (I know I cost my mom and dad a pretty penny!!) Heck, I don't even have a child yet, but I think next year we are going to start trying!!!(YEAH for us!!)


I think it would be great to have something that my husband and I created and would look like us, how amazing is that?? I also think it would be great to teach this child and watch him/her grow and see what type of person they turn into.


But by no means do I judge you for not wanting children, this is your opinion. I have close friends and family members that do not have children nor do they want any. This does not make them a bad person, this makes them very smart to realize that they are not parenting material! Too bad other people that are parents didn't think about everything that is involved in raising a child.

i was just making a point that guys can have a say in how many kids they want. if for some reason my wife cannot have kids then we can decide on how many to adopt. i still want at least 3 though.

Yes I would like a spawn or 2.

WCUAXID, I'm having a hard time decifering the beginning of your post. Please tell me you're not insinuating that I am a)in college, b)only into myself and my needs, and c)not wise. You seem reasonable, so I'm sure you can understand that a person can be 29, married, have a successful job, be generous and giving, and NOT want children, right?

I am right here with you on this one...

I will not say I NEVER want children, but my "clock" hasn't started ticking yet. I actually think I would be a good Mom, and I happen to love kids. But children are a huge responsibility that is a LIFETIME commitment, and I personally don't think anyone who isn't dying to have them should attempt to take on the responsibility.

Re: Do you want kids?
 

As long as you and Mr. RedRoseSAI are happy with a decision not to have children, it's really no body else's business. Ignore the silly soccer mom. And I say that as a very happy father.

Just one thought -- when the cashier said "So, is it going to be a good mother's day for you?", do you think its possible he or she didn't necessarily assume you're a mom but thought you might be visiting your own mom or something like that?

Re: Re: Do you want kids?
 

That's what I thought at first, but between me saying "I'm not a mother" and the soccer mom's input. He laughed and said "Oh sorry, I though maybe you had kids."

I want at least 3 children. I cannot think of a more important job.

I admit, I do not understand people who do not want kids. But, I realize I'm coming from a different place. However, I pray that people who do not WANT children, do not have them.

OH MY GOSH!!! No, that is not at all what I ment, I was only talking about myself and no one else!! I know that you can be happy at 29, married ,great job ,etc and not want children, nor did I mean to imply that you are in college. I was only talking about me and how I was when I was in college. Sorry if I was a bit unclear, but I did say when I was in college in my first post. Heck I'm in my 30's and just now ready to start thinking about starting a family next year.(And even than it might get pushed back,who knows!!)

Would you mind elaborating? I'm intrigued to hear the other side.


That was the other interpretation I had of your post. Thanks for clarifying. :)

I want children one day, but not right now. I certainly do not judge those who never want children or want them later in life. Of course, there will be some people who will never understand that not everyone thinks like them or wants to be like them.

Hey no problem, glad I could clear that up!! I can see how it could be taken the wrong way though.

Nope, you're a horrible person.








JUST KIDDING. I understand why some people dont want kids, but I do, 3-4 maybe. :)

I have never, ever wanted to have kids and I will never have kids. Mr. valkyrie and I have occasional discussions about who will get fixed. The desire to have children is just something that baffles me -- I do not have it, nor have I ever.

See that is where prevention comes into place. The individual just has to take the necessary precautions. I realize that it maybe hard to understand why some people don't want kids, but it is a little harder to understand people who have kids and treat them like they don't want them.

The people who know already and are active in preventing it from happening, are the parents you won't hear about chopping off their children's head, biting off their son's penis, pushing their car with children in the lake, and abandoning their children. For me the reason behind them doing all that is harder to understand, than someone saying "I don't want children".

I love being a mother and believe that it's the best thing that I could have ever done with my life. I always wanted kids and I'm thrilled that I had them, especially the two that I have, who bring me laughter and joy so much of the time.

That said, it's the toughest job you'll ever love (not the army!) and if you don't want kids, you absolutely SHOULD NOT have kids, because it's hard, even when it's great and it's a lifetime committment. Your kids become your number 1 priority, far above everything else and they have to be!

Dee

Re: Re: Re: Do you want kids?
 

Yeah. Just a thought, but obviously not.

Maybe he thought the tissues and cough drops were for the endless runny noses in houses with kids. (There -- I just talked you into wanting kids, didn't I? :D )

Which, of course, is why people shouldn't apply for the job unless they really want it.

And they shouldn't be criticized if they don't want it, either.

Why's that?

I will first say that I am a bundle of contradictions, but I can't do anything about it and I works for me (sometimes)

that being said...I don't want kids, I really don't like them....well that is not true...I don't like the kids that aren't "mine" (my family and I love those children with all my heart and soul), because I don't think people are giving their kids "home training", which I think that you need.

I will say that there is some fear in my reasoning, because basically the day that you find out that you are pregnant, until the day you die, there will always be that "worry" (lack of a better term), I really can't imagine opening myself up like that and being that vulnerable. There is also that "fear" that they would turn out like me, I was hell on wheels during my younger years (my parents say that I wasn't that bad), but believe me, I pulled some stunts on them.....

If, (and its a very BIG if) I ever have kids, I will raise them like I was raised and discipline them like I was disciplined and l have names.

I have a timetable of the marriage and kids and as that timetable keeps shrinking, I really don't think that these two events will happen. I still hope to get married, but kids are really not an option.

My mother has accepted this fact from both of her daughters and my father; I really don't think he cares; besides he has my younger sister (she's 12).

So in conclusion, I don't want kids, but if (a HUGE IF) I do have them, ok and I will be a great mom (but not a soccer mom, A FOOTBALL MOM), I have a great example to follow.

Re: Do you want kids?
 

You should have told her, "I'm worried my ass will get fat like yours."

I love my kids and I love being a mom but that's just me. Shame on people who try to make others feel ashamed because they don't want children. It is a personal decision.

Personally I hate children and don't really want any. I think they're cute and all for a little time being, but I just can't tolerate them for long periods of time and don't intend to. Yet whenever I tell this to any of my friends, they all look at me like I'm Cruella DeVil or something. Especially one of my sorority sisters, who wants to have 5 kids by the time she's in law school/starting out her first year in a law firm and has a full time job. And she tells me I'm the crazy one...

I would like kids, but I don't want babies. I used to despise anything under 4'5". Now I just despise things that can't go potty by themselves.

I want 2 someday in the far away future. Just not anytime soon. I'm hardly responsible enough to take care of myself nonetheless a child.

The mom behind you should be more worried about the young teenagers having kids rather than people who don't want kids!! Don't even get me started on that issue!! I get so irritated when I see these 18/19 year old single moms with 3-4 kids (who of course all have different fathers), working min wage jobs, and I'll stop now....
Although I now have a child (1 year old) and wouldn't change anything, I applaud you all for not rushing into having kids or for chosing not to. It's definitely not for everyone!

I want to have 3 or 4 kids myself. Being a mom (prayerfully housewife too) is a role that I would gladly take. :)

Yes. I would like to have 3-4 children. The first within the next year or two, preferrably.

Now, if only my body would cooperate with me.

Some people have that heart-wrenching desire to be parents, which is why so many go through IF treatments to be able to have biological children of their own. Some people just don't want kids ever, which is completely fine. Some people change their mind on the subject as their life situations change. I don't think any of those is better than the other, it all depends on what you want and feel is best for you.

This is a sore point between me and my husband (DH) on the one side, and our parents and the neighborhood busybodies :rolleyes: on the other.

I don't want kids right now. I may change my mind down the road, but honestly... I probably won't. The thought of childbirth squicks me out. The whole pregnancy process scares me. Then there are the joys of taking care of a small baby - can you say sleep deprivation?

DH and I have agreed, no kids for at least the next 2-3 years. Our lives are crazy enough right now without adding kids into the mix.

However... our parents desperately want to be grandparents. DH and I are each only children, so we're their only hope for grandkids. My parents make a point of oohing and aahing every time we're with them and they see a baby or toddler. My in-laws are more blatant, and recently went so far as to try to get a friend of ours to convince us to have a baby! :rolleyes: :mad:

And the busybodies in our community! I can't gain five pounds without somebody asking me if I'm pregnant. (This is great motivation for me to stay on my diet. :p )

Okay, </vent> :)

I wouldn't mind raising a child or two... I just really don't want to have to go through the pregnancy and childbirth thing. I'd love to adopt, though. There are so many babies and young children out there in need of good homes and loving parents.

I really want a healthy little girl (gotta be an AOII legacy;) )....soon... :)
Silver

I don't necessarily want kids. I don't necessarily do not want to have them. I am somewhere in the middle where if it happens, it happens, if it doesn't, it doesn't. I don't care if have them or not.

I know right now I have no desire to have kids. I think if I somehow ended up with one I'd hightail it to the nearest adoption agency and say here you go! Go to it! Find my kid a good home because I sure as heck couldn't give it one. Nor would I want to right now. Why? I don't have the money, resources, or own any residential dwelling right now. Yea I know pretty much I wouldn't be able to support it nor do I want to be tied down to a child's schedule.

I also do not understand why people come off offended when I say I don't necessarily care if I had kids or not. It's kind of like I am saying being a mom is a horrible job and being a mom is on the low-spectrum of the totem-pole of class status. Of course I am not saying that nor do I think that.

I have a strong desire for children and have for many years. But I know that I'm nowhere NEAR that point now. It's an "in the future" goal for me. But yeah, I would like at least 2, more if it was financially feasible.