What should I do?
 

Hi everyone!
I am new to GC. So, I rushed last fall at a small college with only four Panhel groups. I was cut right before prefs. But, getting cut actually turned out to be for the best because I have since found out who I am and am more secure with myself. Since the Fall, I have served on student senate (currently on exec board), the student newspaper, and on several university committees. I am actively involved with Alpha Phi Omega (a service fraternity) and Sigma Alpha Iota (a music fraternity). We have a historic house, so SAI has been great. But, I still want to try social rush in the Fall. What should I be doing to have the best chance for success? This summer I am taking extra classes and doing a campus research assistantship as well as volunteering at a local hospital. To pay for school expenses I work in Admissions, manage an orchestra, and am a leadership coordinator. I am a double music and history major (3.9 GPA last semester) and am looking at potential minors. I am also pre-med. My goal is to go on to a joint J.D./M.D./Ph.D. program and go into healthcare ethics while integrating advanced music study into my program. I feel like I have developed significantly since the Fall. I now have career goals, leadership experience, solid academics, community service experiences, and have met lots of new people. But, what else can I do?
Thanks!
Singer 123:)

My one suggestion would be to try to get to know some of the sisters before you go through recruitment... Try talking to them in your classes and other activities... it will help you in the fall if they really get to know you and not just who you are... My only other thought is to have fun...

You sound like you could be my long-lost twin or something! I had a very similar situation at the small, private, midwestern college I attend. I would say there's definately no harm in giving it a try. If you feel like this is something that is missing from your life that you still really want to be involved in, the only way to know is to try!

It definately wouldn't hurt to talk with the Greeks you know in your classes and other activities. Get to know them besides just people you have class with or something.

If you ever wanna chat, PM me!

Good luck!!

I have heard of people gettingcut cause they are involved with too many outside activities, which sounds like you are. I completly understand your desire to join a sorority, however maybe you should talk to someone to see if being too involved might hurt you.

Suggestion: I would suggest talking to women in your classes who are greek,

depending on your school maybe work on getting some recs for the sororities on your campus.

Work on public speaking and get use to talking to people. I know of a bunch of people (myself included) who are very nice but when they first meet people they can be shy and so if you say practice starting random conversations with people you don't know it might help you. So you don;t come off as shy (if that is/might be a problem that you face, as i can.

Might think of ways in which your major might turn people off, i mean some people hear pre-med and think that equates to too much work and not enough time for the sorority, this kinda of goes with the being too involved.

A lot of advise would really depend on your school, so i think that the best advise is to find people at your school, or recent alums at your school and talk to them about greek life and what could up your success.

Good Luck,
debbie

That's what popped into my mind when I read your post--I think you're doing enough right now! That's an amazing amount of activities, which is awesome if you can juggle it all, but just make sure you don't have too many irons in the fire or it might look like you simply don't have the time to devote to sorority membership.

It's too bad mshoole isn't still around -- she'd be quite helpful here.

I guess it just depends on your school, but we wouldn't ride someone off just because they are involved in campus activities or because they are a double major. In my chapter, some of the most involved sisters are double majors and/or involved with many different organizations on campus.

It's been difficult for me this semester because I took the MCAT, but that doesn't mean that I'm not a productive member of my sorority.

You should get a feel for how things are on your campus though. It may or may not be an issue.

Ditto. Being a music major is time consuming as it is. I'm a music major and I'm in a Christian sorority and a social sorority, and for awhile I was in an interest group to bring SAI to my campus. You're in two awesome organizations already, and being in a social sorority takes a lot of commitment, as does SAI and APO.

Thanks for the advice everyone! Keep it up! I did want to add that at the end of next semester I will vacate my senate exec board seat and university committees (term=1 year). If I am accepted to a sorority, I will not reapply for another term. That will significantly reduce my extracurricular load. Also, I am on my Hall Council in my dorm which I would not be on if I went greek. Lastly, I am taking my pre-med classes during the summer through a special program. My gen-eds are done, and I am only a freshman, so that gives me plenty of time to do my double major! Thanks for your help everyone!
Singer 123
P.S. Part of the reason I got involved with other greek organizations was because I was so devastated when I was cut. I felt like sororities were looking for leaders, so I've really tried to show that I have academic and leadership potential.

Sororities do look for academics and leadership. Like it has been said it would really depend on your school and the sororities there. I think that it is good to take into account that it might hurt you and during rush you would need to work it into the conversation that you did these leadership things and after your term is over you will not be reapplying. Or work it into the conversation some how. Again, it really depends on your school. I can really understand your choices for wanting to get involved with other stuff on campus. My first school there was no greek life and I got really invovled with everything else i could. Aven after i transfered and joined a sorority i still got invovled with Alpha Phi Omega cause i was sooo use to being in leadership that i could not do as a pledge in my social sorority. I think you should stress how the stuff you are doing outside of the sorority will not interfere with you new member activities.


Really, find someone at your school, or a recent alum. They would be the best place to learn about the ins and outs of rush at your school.
debbie

Yep...definitely sounds familiar!

I would suggest highlighting the activities that tell the most about you and your abilities. It sounds like you are doing very well at managing your time effectively, but you don't want to sound like a walking resume;) In my experience, the people who have enormous lists like yours are also enormously enthusiastic, and the sororities will appreciate that. Just be sure that they understand that you can have the same enthusiasm for your sorority experience without burning out. Balance is so important!

LM

I didn't find being busy a problem in my sorority.

Here's the story:

I went to a big university in the south. Being from the north, I knew NOTHING about sororities, and didn't have an interest in them. I was so deeply involved in athletics, that I really couldn't care less about them. I went through rush with my dorm pal because she begged me to keep her company.

Much to my surprise, I was VERY impressed with what I saw. The more I learned about the Greek system, the more I realized it was something really special.

I was super open and honest with my busy schedule to everyone I spoke with at the rush parties. I explained my training schedule, and told them of my athletic goals, and even expressed my reservations over whether it would be fair to the sorority for me to pledge.

It didn't seem to be a problem at all at any of the sororities I visited. When I pledged ZTA, I often had to miss pledge meetings, and I did miss ALL of the date nights and mixers. I ended up accepting a scholarship to another university out west to pursue my athletic dreams, and unfortunately, they didn't have a ZTA chapter there. I ended up being initiated in ZTA through AI more than two decades later!

What I'm trying to say is that I have found sororities encourage us to pursue our dreams and be the best we can. However, if you want to get everything out of the Greek experience, you need to make choices. I would advise you to drop one or two of the activities you are now involved in if you rush and are offered a bid.

You only have this opportunity one time in your life, and I would make the most of it. You don't want to be doing the "What if's" later on in your life.

If you don't get in, don't worry. You can always do alumni initiation like many of the women on this board.

-Rudey

Rudy:

You can't "always do alumnae initiation"--- it's VERY difficult. It took me three years, and I had already pledged ZTA in college. Women without any ties have an even more difficult time of it. It's still quite rare, and extremely hard to do.

I cannot wait to do 15 years of professional school.

I like to encourage, not discourage.

-Rudey

I think Rudey may have been slightly sarcastic. There's an epidemic around here of people who LOVE to tell people, don't worry, you can always AI, when they don't have a successful rush, etc. And many of us know it's not as simply as that and abhor that it's just tossed out as an easy alternative.

:)

Gotcha! Thanks Kddani!

She's right. That's what happened to me........I mean, I wasn't too upset about it, because I always knew that joining a sorority wasn't the be all end all of life, and I had TONS of other activities to keep me busy and happy (which they DID, I mean, there are times when it feels like I'm ALWAYS running around, lol), but AlphaAlpha brings up a valid point when she says that it's a good idea to pick and choose what activities you want to do, what clubs you want to be in, etc. This year especially, I sort of tried to do everything (on top of taking WAAAY too many classes), and I kinda burned myself out. But anyway, Singer, you sound like an awesome girl, and I definitely wish you luck in this endeavour. :)

I think a lot of people, their first year of school, to get way too invovled. I did it. There are all these exciting things and people that it is just way too exciting to have to say NO to something that sounds fun.

Anyway, to the original poster. I really wish you the best of luck and hope that you will keep us informed of what happens to you.
debbie

what should you do?
 

with a 3.9 gpa and numerous activities, you have proven that you know how to manage your time. congratulations on a job well done!! my best advice echoes that of other posters-get to know greek women in your classes and let them know ,discreetly, that you are considering participating in recruitment next year. let them get to know you as a person, not just a pnm, so that you might have an edge during recruitment. good luck and please let us know how it all turns out.

i think its great that you want to rush, but dont drop all of your other activities in order to do so. we were encouraged to be in other organizations when we were actives so that we could become well rounded. of all of the activities that you did this year, pick the ones that you liked the most to stay in. definetely talk to greeks on campus and get to know some of them. and about the double major--its a lot of work, but scholarship is a big part of most greek organizations!! schoolwork came first all the time in mine anyways...thats the main reason youre at school!! good luck and keep us updated!! if you really want it, youll find the time to do it all!!

I would have to agree, especially with SAI and APO being greek groups. I do wonder if that may be why I was cut from a few houses. I rushed my sophomore year and was already involved in several high profile, high responsibility groups and was an officer in one of them.

If you REALLY want to go greek you're going to have to cut things. 3 jobs, 2 other greek groups, and all of those activities plus a double major (wanting to be pre med? lol, good luck, years of Ochem and all that fun await, JD/MD/PhD- you're going to be in school for the rest of your life, lol), you're putting yourself in line to take a trip to the looney bin, or give yourself a heart attack or ulcer.

But then again, if you drop your involvement with some groups because "something better came along" (i.e. a sorority) that may reflect poorly on you to some people,.

Being greek, especially a new member is a HUGE time commitment, and you really don't realize how much until you're actually doing it.

Hey there hon-

I don't know about other sororities, but Chi O has a national rule that you must be involved in at least 2 other outside groups to maintain good standing. So, this stuff about being too busy... ignore it. You know your schedule, and you can take on whatever you think is right for you. I was premed in school and involved in a number of different activities-- I went abroad, I volunteered outside of Chi O for 4 years, held multiple on campus jobs—all sorts of stuff, and I was on exec my sophomore year. Getting to know people is the best advice I can see… other than that, have fun and be yourself! Good luck to you and finding a home
:)
-M

ps- and I'm going to USC med school in the fall. :-)

I cosign!! Phi Sig also requires membership in two other outside groups and if you get to know some of the social greeks they will know your time management skills and whether or not you will be able to handle the new member experience. Bottom line is you will not know unless you try, personally I would be proud to have a sister who obviously has excellent time management skills and high ambition.

edited to say: I was a member of another fraternal organization as well as a non-greek letter society when I went through recruitment.

Unfortunately, a lot of those girls go through rush, join a group, then become the sister that shows up for and does the bare minimum.

I don't doubt that she COULD do it, whether she SHOULD do it is the question. Her own mental health is at risk. There's also a question of whether or not it would be worth it. When you're doing SO many activities, are you really getting that much out of any of them?

I'm speaking as a voice of experience here... I was involved in a bazillion things and when I look back I would've done a lot differently.

No one truly understand the demands of being a new member or being a sister until they do it. Which means she could join a house, then end up dropping b/c she didn't have enough time, and that's a spot that could've gone to another girl who would put time and energy into it.

I guess i'm just being my typical self in refusing to blow sunshine up a PNM's butt :) Reality is reality, whether or not anyone likes to see it, it's still there.

This is something she should think carefully about.

What is missing in her life that a sorority could fill in that she's not getting from her other activities? What are those other activities giving her? When you have that much going on, plus school and work, you need to really prioritize and think about whether or not something's worth it before you commit yourself to it.

On another note, I wouldn't tell anyone "not to listen" to other people's posts on here. We all have very different experiences and advice to offer, and I wouldn't dare tell someone to ignore the words of others (okay, with the exception of if the person is being a total jackass). Because while something said may not be true of your experience, it may be relevant to other's. I don't think it's right to totally discount earnest advice

Cosign. I'm not trying to a downer like I said. I'm just trying to get her to view things from a different perspective, like playing devil's advocate. The other points need to be considered. Everything on GC is not "Rah Rah yay lets go!" Be real, how active can you REALLY be in SAI, APO, and a sorority with a double major and 3 jobs?! Something is bound to slip through the cracks, if you will.

I would like to beg to differ, and say that it is possible to be involved in SAI, APO, a social sorority, be a double-major premed, and hold a job. I am extremely active in my sorority (I'm VP Intellect) and with Panhellenic stuff, and I'll be a Rho Gamma (or what every your campus calls them) next year.. I'm president of Order of Omega. I have held a leadership position in APO (secretary). I have been involved with other professional organizations on campus (I'll be treasurer of ACS in the fall). I am in several honorary organizations (Sigma Zeta, Alpha Epsilon Delta, Alpha Lambda Delta, Phi Kappa Phi). I am a double major- music and chemistry- as well as being premed. Usually I work 2 jobs, totaling around 15 hours a week (because I'm not work study, I can't get an on-campus job that I can work more than 7 hours a week at). Do I have to make choices? Sure. Does that mean that I am any less dedicated or any less of a sister to my sorority? No. The only semester I have not been around for as much was during the semester I took the MCAT. That semester, I was the girl who did the bare minimum. However, the only reason was because I was taking the MCAT (which I personally feel is a good reason because the best way to describe going through that is that it was hell and I'm so thankful that I had my sisters there to support me and understand what I was trying to do), not because I had overextended myself.

I feel like I'm bragging about the stuff I do, which isn't the point. The point is that it can be done. I went through formal recruitment as a sophomore, while being involved in almost all of these organizations. On my campus, girls who are involved are generally the ones who are the "most wanted." I got a bid to my first choice. Regardless, instead of saying that it can't be done at all, we need to make sure this PNM is aware of realities on certain campuses.

ps. congrats to xomichelle for her acceptance and decision on med school!

Yay for you, do you want a cookie? :) No one ever said it can't be done. I could go through my resume and all that junk too, and it would be just as long if not longer, but there's not really a need. Yeah you could do it, yes I could do it and many people can. BUT NOT EVERYONE CAN DO THAT. There's a lot of things to consider.

NO ONE SAID IT CAN'T BE DONE.

NO ONE IS TELLING HER NOT TO DO IT

We're only pointing out the realities and things to consider.

I'm going to say as an APO alum that degree of involvement in these groups varies GREATLY from campus to campus. Some places (sad to say) APO is just a resume builder where the members do the bare minimum...some places it's MORE time consuming than being in a social GLO. Then there are about a kajillion degrees in between. I don't know about SAI, but from what I've read on here that can happen with them too. So the fact that she's in two other Greek groups might not be as mind boggling as it seems.

Plus it depends on the size of the school how time consuming the other activities she's mentioned are. It's really hard to say whether this is a good idea or a horrendous idea without knowing how many hours per week everything else takes up.

I think this is the best point. I really depends on the school. I first said what i said just to point out that it could be bad. But i think that talking to women already in the greek system and finding out what the climate at her school is and how the women at her school will view her involvement.
Debbie



ps. congrats to xomichelle for her acceptance and decision on med school!


DITTO!!!

If this is the school I think it is, SAI is extremely active (has a house, is part of the local greek council, sponsors campus-wide events, etc..).

If SAI is part of the local greek council and has a house, can a women join a social GLO. I am just curious as to what campuses might do cause my school did not have big orgs other than PHC and NIC, i mean, i was in APO, but a lot of my chapter was also in sorority cause APO did not have a hosue and there was no live in rule and was not part of the same council.

Maybe i am not making too much sence. I am just using APO as an example since i am not a music person i don't really know much about SAI, I had a few freinds who were in TBS. But TBS was not that big and many members were also in sororities.

Hi again everyone! Gee, thanks for all the responses. This rush stuff is so complicated! Anyway, feel free to keep giving advice. I found out this week that I'll be in Americorps this summer for 8 weeks, and my deployment starts in ten days. Hopefully, I'll be able to get on every once in a while! Thanks everyone!

I know this is a little late, but congratulations, (soon to be) Dr. XOMichelle!!! :D

Here's another opinion and while I have no idea how your campus' Greek system works, here's what I would consider if I were in one of your school's GLOs considering you as a PNM.

1) You've shown a strong committment to academics through your GPA with double majors and Pre-med. That's a big plus. But Pre-med will only get more demanding each year, so I would question how active you would be next year or the year after. Especially considering all the other activities you're involved in.

2) With all your involvement, you have demonstrated excellent time management skills. Another plus.

3) Volunteering at a hospital shows strong personal committment to philanthropy. Plus.

4) Being on SGA Exec shows great leadership skills. Same thing for the newspaper. Every GLO I know of would enjoy having someone representing them and their ideals in both organizations, so plus.

(Side note: If you're considering dropping any activities, SGA would be the last one I would choose. The GLO's probably would like to have you in office. More importantly for your resume when it comes time to job hunt or apply to med school, this is the most impressive. At least that's my personal opinion.)

5) You're working 3 jobs to pay for school. It's a plus that you are responsible enough to handle your finances, but there's a big minus coming. Being in a sorority can be expensive. I have to assume you would need to work additional hours to cover the cost placing more demands on your time.

I can't tell you if the "plusses" out way the "minuses" or vice versa. Simply they are things that a GLO will probably discuss and some things you should consider. Especially the financial part.

Best of luck!