Do you still attend formals?
 

Alumni

Do you still attend your sorority/fraternity's formal/semi-formal?
My sorority is having formal next Saturday and I am really looking forward to attending. I can't wait to meet the new girls and older alumni.

FSS

The collegians always invite the alums to their Christmas Formal and Spring RoseBall and I've been to every one of them since becoming an alumna, whether it be as a chaperone or as a guest. We're even allowed to bring guests of our own too!!!

Alumi aren't allowed to go to anything collegiate related after they graduate :( It's really sad.

That doesn't sound right at all, and very counterproductive to the idea of sisterhood as a lifetime commitment. Have you checked with your national HQ on this?

Is this just for formals or are alums prohibited from helping out with recruitment also? Recruitment's collegiate-related.

Ditto what 33 said, you should really check your HQ's official policy. If that were true for AGD, I'd be devastated. It's like telling your members that sisterhood ends at graduation. :rolleyes:

That sounds really weird. So your GLO won't allow alumnae living in house? There are currently three (I THINK it's three, but it could be two) alumnae living in Tau chapter right now. They all help out with the collegians in one way or another.

Yes, in fact alums are encouraged to come to ours. We always have alums at ours...at least 5 will be at our formal in April.

Yeah, Alumni are not allowed at any sort of formal/semi formal or meetings. They aren't allowed to drink with us either. It's a national rule that we've checked and rechecked over and over because we would really love if we could be "sister" like with them, ya know? They are allowed at recruitment. I think the reason for them not being able to participate in so much at the collegiate level is so #1 the chapter can grow with it's new members and #2 they will be more involved in offical alumni stuff. *shrugs*

As for the house thing, we don't have a house so i have no clue. maybe another Phi Mu could answer that?

I haven't been invited yet, but I would love to attend formal. I think that would be great fun!


.....Kelly :)

So like, your advisors can't even attend your meetings ??? That seems really odd to me. I will be going to my formal. They even give out out an award for most active alumnae, and the advisory board gives out a few awards to the actives, so it's kinda a nice event for everyone to get together and be recognized because it really takes actives and alum to make a chapter run smoothly.

I'm not sure what the rule is on this for Gamma Phi Beta but it seems odd that alums would not be allowed to attend so many collegiate events. I know there are plenty of threads about alumnae not being very involved with the collegiate chapters. Then here you have a great example of how many of us would love to participate and get to know the collegians on a bit more of a social level and they aren't allowed?

In my experience, unless invited alumnae do not attend social functions. Formals cost money, and unless X number of alumnae have been counted, then there is a cost the chapter did not anticipate.

Similiarly, unless an alumna has a report to give or has been invited to attend, only collegiate members and advisers attend chapter meeting.

In the past, there were challenges in my chapter with recent alumnae coming back to chapter meetings, recruitment, events, etc., and they caused issues. So to keep things running smoothly, there are designated events where alumnae and collegians mix, and events which are collegians (and advisers-only) with few exceptions.

My boyfriend's LXA chapter always invites their alumni to attend formal - no matter how old or young the alumni are. They are also allowed to bring guests. I personally like this b/c I love going w/ him to see our old friends & his old brothers.

Their chapter has a great sense of brotherhood... they welcome their alumni to attend a bunch of events. The chapter's alumni association is very strong and very involved in helping out the chapter (even though it is a chapter at a smaller school) and the guys love having their alumni over for homecoming and their spring formal. The thing I admire most about their chapter is that they always strive to keep their alumni involved.

My chapter on the other hand is the complete opposite as far as inviting alumnae. It could possibly be b/c I'm a new alum so I don't really know how things have worked or how they work on a national level, but in my experience, alums (except chapter advisors) were *not* allowed to attend formal, or even regular meetings during the "business" part of the meeting, and only allowed in as guests. Honestly, it caught me off guard, but like I said, I don't know if ADPi has any policies regarding alums and certain chapter events.

Another thing I liked about my boyfriend's LXA chapter is that they make sure to include their alumni for really important things like ritual by inviting them to attend. Even though my boyfriend and some of his brothers live far from the chapter now, if they can make the trip, they normally would. There was one alum that has probably been to their ritual at least 50 times with that one chapter. I've only seen mine a few times when I was in college. But like I said, I'm a newer alum, so I don't really know yet what the "guidelines" are for that with my home chapter. It just seems like alums are only invited to Homecoming & Founder's Day.

My chapter's alumni relations may not be the best but the alumni can pretty much attend any event. Even though we are not because of various things.

That would really suck if I was not able to attend formal or anything that I was able to go to.

Wouldn't they just let the chapter know if they were coming and pay for formal like everyone else? What's the difference? You pay the hotel (or wherever you're having it) and buy favors for whatever the amount of people is that are coming to the formal.

As far as drinking, that should have nothing to do with formal. Most formals now are under a third party vendor. It is their responsibility, not the sorority's. And as far as "drinking with" the chapter...theoretically the chapter shouldn't be drinking at all as a chapter, so if you're going to be breaking rules anyway, might as well invite the alums. **shrug**

I just think it's really sad that "risk management" takes precedence over making alums feel welcome.

As far as meetings are concerned, if there are SOME alums that are trying to run things or speaking out of turn in meetings...deal with them as individuals. Don't make all the alums feel unwanted and spurned.

Good post

We are invited and can bring a guest as long as we pay for our date and self.
I went last semester, but I won't be attending this semester due to work obligations. It was strange last semester too, so I don't know if I would go to another formal.

good point. my chapter had a few alums that would cause problems at events - we used to have an "open alum invitation" to events (including formal and socials) until a few started causing problems. exec started to require that alums be invited by them to events so the problem ones wouldn't come and create problems.

we do leave weekly meetings open, but request that they contact exec to let them know as a courtesy and it has worked well. we have also educated alums to let them know if they would like to speak at meeting, they need to get approval from exec before hand. again just to keep unneeded problems from flaring up (ie - alums coming to complain how "bad" things are since they left and the chapter is going down hill b/c they left)

technically, our procedures say alums can't come to meeting unless they have official business, but we felt it was unproductive to not allow them to attend if they are visiting for the weekend or just want to stop by and see how things are going. seems to work well now. chapter also invites alums to philanthropy and initiation.

Often recent alumnae don't communicate their intent and show up without notifying those in charge. Try telling a chapterful of women that their social budget is busted for the rest of the school year.

There was nothing my post about alcohol. ADPi formals are cash bar only.

I wasn't solicitating a third-party evaluation on my sorority's alumnae-collegiate relations. I was responding to the original poster.

Originally posted by adpiucf
Often recent alumnae don't communicate their intent and show up without notifying those in charge. Try telling a chapterful of women that their social budget is busted for the rest of the school year.

Please tell me you're joking. I can't imagine anyone being this rude. If they want to pop in to the hotel and say hi fine...but do you mean to say they come with a date, and demand a meal and favors? Again, I can't even fathom that anyone would be this inconsiderate.

There was nothing my post about alcohol. ADPi formals are cash bar only.

I was responding to OP.

I wasn't solicitating a third-party evaluation on my sorority's alumnae-collegiate relations. I was responding to the original poster.
This wasn't directed at you or ADPi specifically, again I was responding to OP as well as anyone else who has this policy.

Phi Mu alumnae ARE allowed to participate in many collegiate functions, including attending meetings as advisers, assisting with Recruitment, etc.

What LyonLuv was referring to is the separation of collegiate and alumnae members when it comes to social functions where alcohol is served. Alumnae members are not invited to our formals or other social events unless the function is dry. I do not know the exact reasoning behind this, but it is a strict national policy that is followed by my own chapter. Even sisters who have "temporarily" gone alum, like those who are under full time hours, are not permitted to attend social functions even as the "date" of a collegiate sister.

But it is incorrect to say that alumnae are not allowed to participate in anything collegiate-related. We welcome the active participation of alumnae with collegiate chapters.

Thanks for the clarification. And yes, there are people who are that inconsiderate, both alum and collegian. At a formal a few years ago, a very flustered social chair had to write a personal check for several hundred dollars to temporarily cover the overflow of (collegiate and recent alum) attendees who crashed the formal-- these were members hadn't RSVP'd themselves or their dates despite a signup sheet and several weeks worth of announcements. The room wasn't large enough to accomodate the overflow and the hotel was not very interested in doing business again with that group.

GIRL! Where have you been lately? I've been one lonely rose...

Anyway, I'm attending the formal for a local college chapter this weekend. I'm one of the advisors. I haven't been to a chapter formal since I was in college, so it should be interesting! :)

I believe Phi Sig rules state that initiation MUST be held at a time when it is convienent for alumnae to attend.

MIA, I guess. LOL Actually, been trying to balance 18 hours, being SAI President, and just got through with my senior recital...guess that's where I've been. ;) I'm trying to come around again though.

When I was on EC (both as an officer and later as an advisor) we always took this into consideration when planning the upcoming year's calendar. We worked with the alumnae chapter to ensure that none of our events fell on the same day so we could get as much alumnae support as possible.

I would definitely like to see this happen w/ our alum association & the chapter

Then why on earth were they allowed in? :confused:

i'm not sure of the current social policies for KD, but I believe we were required to have a bouncer.

And anyone who hadn't paid sure as heck wasn't allowed in!

Our bouncer was a third party bouncer hired by the chapter. Using alums to check IDs is too risky, alums could easily overlook the fact that the member isn't 21.

Our chapter has always followed a supposed rule that alumnae are not able to attend our Forget-Me-Not formal or mixers because of insurance reasons. Lately I've started to question whether it is a real rule, but I am starting to question the truth to it. I should probably know this considering I'm now on the Chapter Advisory board.

I can see why it wouldn't be a good idea for alumnae to attend some events, like a fraternity mixer. I can see both pros and cons for Formal, but I do think it would be nice to be able to invite alumnae there with dates so that local alumnae have a chance to get together with each other and meet some of the new chapter members.

I think it all comes down to there is a collegiate experience and an alumnae experience. Yes, things like rituals are what link those together, but as an alumnae, I don't think I'd enjoy partying with 18-year olds anymore. In a formal setting it would be nice, but a fraternity mixer would be pretty old.

My chapter invites alumnae to formal and I still attend.

Our formals are not strictly dinner and dancing. our formal also includes our chapter awards and there are alumnae awards so it's nice that the alum can be there to receive them.

I'm really surprised that alum are not allowed to attend formal. I had to pay for my formal ticket just like everyone else. I also had to RSVP. I don't see what the problem is. If you've paid and you've let the chapter know you will be attending good. You can come. If you decide to crash the party then you should be asked to leave alum or collegian.

We invite alumnae to formal, but they must pay for themselves and for their date. If they show up without RSVPing (and therefore aren't on the list) they won't be allowed in. It has never been a problem.

Wow, your chapter needs to get the sticks out of their asses! :eek:

T, I'm so glad we're brothers :p

My thoughts exactly.

Ummm as I've clarified, it's a national policy. It's not like LyonLuv's chapter is purposefully alienating their alums.

I guess it's just hard to understand how a national could condone such a thing.

LA, you know I love you and I don't mean any disrespect to Phi Mu...and I can see your nationals' reasons why they have the policy they do.

Many of us put such a stress on sisterhood, and when we hear of alums that are prohibited from socializing with collegians, I'm guessing that we are quick to assume that they're being alienated -- especially since most of us are allowed to attend these events.

It is important that alumnae who do attend need to realize that they share liability for things that go on at these events. I suspect that's why Phi Mu doesn't allow it at all. I think it's great when alumnae still want to attend functions, just so they all realize that if anything negative goes on, they need to take appropriate action. Whether they are advisors or not, they're likely to be seen as chaperones when attending things like formal.

I love being around collegians, but feel too old to go to formals anymore..lol.

Dee

That's our chapter's policy, too.

We never had a problem with people not RSVPing for formal, though to be honest few alumnae ever came.

Is Phi Mu's policy based on liability insurance?

For our five year we had no problems, we had it at a hotel, found a bar sponsor so if we didn't hit the cash bar minimum, someone other than the chapter would pay the hotel. We had it where the alumnae were staying so that we didn't have to provide them transportation elsewhere and we had vans to shuttle the women. It went quite smoothly.