Ya'll can all quit now, because I win.
 

Paging cashmoney, you are no longer the dyrtyest dude on the block...

Look no further, trashest MF right here. I took home a lovely gal last night with the apparent hourly street name of Brianna. Get back to my place an Brianna and I are going at it. In the course of the evenings activities, her leg ends up over my shoulder. She tells me, "Ow, I cant move my leg that way. Last week I was shot in the leg."

I'm all, "what?"

Shes like, yeah, look there. Last week, I got shot in the leg. The infections all heeled up, but it was a homeless guy named Marco that shot me so I cant move my leg that way.

I'm all, "huh?"

It was then that I realized I was going to die of every disease known to man because I loved on a woman that was uncleen.

Bitch had a bullet hole in her leg. Not only did I see it, but my wanger accidently rubbed across it. Eww.

Who has sex with someone who has been SHOT. Do ya'll have ANY IDEA what my momma would be saying right about now? After the social stigma died down, I'd be beaten within an inch of my life. and left to live... just as as an example to those around me.

The funny part is that last night you posted something about how you thought you were "out of your league" on this one and I assumed you meant you were going out on a date with a really amazing, beautiful, successful woman and tried to bolster you up about it.

dude wasn't homeless...that was her PIMP!

Marco shot her 'cause she ain't bring him, his money.

did you pay her after ya'll finished? she might get shot in the other leg.

Wow...you win. I hope her pimp doesn't show up at your front door demanding payment.

is it bad if I wonder if he finished up?

you WIN hands down for the best st. patty's day story...actually for one of the best hookup stories ever...that is so funny, i can't stop laughing...haha

so whatever happened to your car wreck? :p

I bet he raw-dawgged her.

Sounds like it was followed shortly by a sexual trainwreck.

Damnned Irish and their holidays....

The hookup wasnt with the date I had tho. Met the shot tramp at a bar with the buds.

YEah, I used a condom. I live by the motto; if your're gonna play in the pink, wrap the dink. Still tho, I cant beleive how dyrty the whole thing sounds. My old roomate had been stabbed, but this is a new low for me. Its one thing to live with a friend whos been in a bar fight. Its another to have sex with someone whos been shot.

I'm still in shock.

I took about a 14 hour shower.


I did finish up tho, lol.

attababy!

Oh Andy! And all this time I thought you were a nice boy! :eek:

Maybe you should wipe off your wing-wang with some Clorox?

i am crushed!! i thought lifesaver was as innocent as an altar boy!

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Hilarious!!!

From one trashy bitch to another...this hookah is proud of you.

GOOD JOB Andy.

Holy shit, she just called and wanted to hang out. I'm all wanting to say, "You a shot up bitch!"

Her pimp prolly wants to roll my ass or something.

I guess its a good thing I posted my final wishes thread, lol.

Dyr-tay.

oops!! she has your phone number AND knows where you live? no where to run, no where to hide!!

Andy, this story brings a tear to my eye. My boy has grown up. I'm so proud. *sniffle*

White trash lovin' Texas style! :p

I'm sure I speak for the BobDon when I say:


hit again, make fun of bullet hole, blow on dome


It's a simple planet, brother - you have done FANTASTIC here

Hahaha. I love that he had NO problem finishing up but is all shocked the girl would have the audacity to call him again :)

If I were to hit it again, and I am not saying I will, the first thing outta my mouth is gonna be, "lets revisit this shooting thing again. If a homeless person cant buy a sandwich, how they afford bullets?"

I wanna know.

Thanks to my friends who searched the local new archives for the story. Jackasses.

Is it wrong for me to be thinking that the hole would provide an extra place to hang on to? Extra leverage... like a grip in rock climbing.

is it wrong to want to know if your friends found an article?? if so, please post :eek: ;)

Well, I mean, at that point you had already caught something, so you might as well get the job done. :p

No more two-steppin' with you!!

Brother Andrew, I for one am sorely Disappointed in YOU!;)

U go out and act like a Slut Bitch of the worst kind.:mad:

As your surrigot Father, Well, I thought, I Brung You up better than this.:rolleyes:

Call me, sounds like a Fantastic TAIL, or Tale, Or An over active Probiscuse!:D :) :cool: Oh, an excuse for a Toddy!:D

Great story......bwah ha ha ha ha ha..........

so.....


what wrong with fucking with a chic that's been shot?

i swear it's completley healed up. only a few bullet fragments remain.

wow. i think i'm definitely too young for this story.

Andy,


you soooooo crrrraaaazzy:)

You sure can tell a story!! I'm LOL over here.:)

It's not so much that she got shot, but she was shot last week by a homeless man and she knows his name.

I'm not sure why, but it is very funny to me.

I dunno why, but this really skeeves me out. Puts a really strange picture in my head.

But HEY... this story makes me laugh.

Re: Ya'll can all quit now, because I win.
 

Hmmm.... must be a Fraternity thing because I'm afraid I'd have to raise my hand as well...

Of course in my case a "street name" or some homeless dude wasn't involved :p

thank you for the laugh!!! i was taking a break from report writing and this was exactly what i needed...

:D

that's pretty funny