My Litte Greek Heart Is Broken!!!
 

HI ALL,
ONCE AGAIN IT'S ME THE FOREVER ASPIRANT. ONCE AGAIN I'VE COME TO A DEAD END. AS SOME OF YOU MAY KNOW AFTER TWO LONG HARD YEARS OF TRYING TO BRING..WHILE U ALL KNOW BY NOW ALPHA PHI ALPHA TO MY CAMPUS THEY CHANGED POLICIES OR WHATEVER. IM SO DISCOURAGED FOR THE LAST THREE YEARS OF MY LIFE MY GOAL HAS BEEN TO BECOME AN ALPHA, AND BE THE BEST ALPHA IN MY COMMUNITY I CAN BE. I'VE BEEN THA BEST MAN IN MY COMMUNITY NOW I WANT THE HONOR OF BEING AN ALPHA. WHAT SHOULD I DO SHOULD I TRANSFER TO MAKE MY DREAM COME TRUE, OR SHOULD I JUST FORGET ABOUT IT ALTOGETHER.

There are some many important things in life. For me, Alpha is certainly important. However, I would not consider a transfer of school.

I suggest that you get your degree and then consider a graduate chapter. Good things come to those that wait - - -

I totally understand what you are saying, but from what i've heard and seen, waiting to graduate school basically sucks for some people. I personally believe that by doing this undergrad it will give me the chance to do a lot more for Alpha, and my school. When i get to graduate school more than likely i'll be working, going to school, and trying to figure out what im going to do with my life. I feel that i wont be able to be as dedicated and make as much progress as i could if i were an undergrad member. Im not saying i already plan to be inactive, but in grad school i would like to already have a reputation for myself and my chapter while assisting other aspirants.

Alpha is for life. Do you think your impact lessens once you're in the Alumni chapters? If you're in the Philly area, are you implying that the Brothers from Rho, ODL, and ZOL aren't making an impact?

The work of Alpha is always there. If you think they can do more on the Alumni level, then you put forth the effort to make it happen. Keep your eyes focused on the Light. Don't get caught up in the distractions.

If I may chime in, who says that you STILL can't have a significant impact on your school once you've graduated and become a member on the graduate level?
You could always serve as a Graduate Advisor and work closely with the undergraduate chapter in your area. Not to mention that if your goal is to establish a chapter on your campus, you would have better means to do so if you are a member of the local graduate chapter. (at least that is how it works with us)

Either way, membership on the undergraduate level is not the end-all of any NPHC org. In fact, it is only the beginning. Like my Pham said, Alpha is a LIFE-LONG commitment. If you are worried now about being able to balance "working, going to school, and trying to figure out what im going to do with my life" with Alpha NOW, then maybe you should re-think your decision to pursue membership.

Trust me, if membership in APHIA is as important to you as it seems, you will be happy to be extended an invitation by whatever means necessary (undergrad or grad).

Thank you Soror. Very well said.

Men of Alpha Phi Alpha if this is an unwarranted intrusion I will edit the content of this message.

I have several comments and questions based on the post made by philly.

This is NOT intended to start drama nor or you expected to answer just wanted to give you some of MY thoughts on what you shared.

philly it seems you want to do it for wrong reasons.

Many people have skewed vision of what fraternal life is all about.

Parties, panties and 'pull' should be well established BEFORE joining any GLO.

Trying to use the organization to bolster stats generally means that a person won't work hard for any organization.

I'm not an Alpha.

But I'm just curious to know how you'll feel you will do more?

You should be doing things for your school now.

Then that would be a good way to help you grow.

It seems as if you already have a mental barrier and an unhealthy perception about Graduate members

If you were to fellowship with Black Men making positive moves in their community you'd be getting just what you need, right when you need it.

But I see that you are using some tools to build monuments before you even have a chance to experience life as a Graduate student or aspirant.

Then don't do it.

BGLOs don't need another member that isn't FULLY dedicated to furthering the cause of any of our organizations.

The NAACP, Urban League and various other organizations are available.

Seek those out if you feel that you have a shadow of a doubt when it comes to putting in true work.

With those you can come and go.

With a Fraternity you SHOULD not.

Are you seeking Alpha for Alpha?

Or

Are you seeking Alpha so that you can be considered Greek and enjoy the social benefits thereof?

Thanks LBF. All questions aspirants should ask themselves before joining ANY GLO.

Kudos for Laidback's Keen Observation.
 

Hotep Brothers.

Bro. Laidback presented excellent insight in responding to the individual who stated that he was endowed with a "litte Greek Heart having been broken." Alphamen are not with small hearts, and I suggest one to need not seek Alphadom unless they have a large heart. Small hearts = Small DEEDS! Resume building seekers & tee-shirt wearers NEED NOT APPLY!:mad:

Re: Kudos for Laidback's Keen Observation.
 

'06

andrew
 

In response to your questions, I feel as if i am being attacked because of my aspirations. I've been accused of trying to use Alpha to "bolster stats", my status on my campus is already well established I am a member of our Black student Union, Minority Coalition, RHA, NRHH, Harlo, Campus praise ministries, and a Gospel choir supporter so in no way am i trying to "use" Alpha. My desire to be an Alpha has nothing to do with social status, or partying or making friends, my desire has everything to do with being apart of a brotherhood that's been around for almost 100 years, being apart of an organization that great men such as Martin Luther King, W.E.B Dubois have come from. I desire to be an Alpha not being of status but because of a mission, Alpha's mission statement is my mission statement for life. I dont desire to step (i cant dance), i dont desire to drink and party (im a born again christian) I desire to fratenize with other men who feel as i do, as if the black community lacks male role models, people who struggle for success while never forgetting about the problems in their community in which they overcame. My desire is pure and true. I feel like you and the other greeks on this board are so over protective of your org's that you attack true aspirants. I love Alpha as a historical organization that fought and fought to get to the point where they are to. I love the programs that they do for youth to encourage them to stay in high school and go to college. The only selfish aspect of my wanting to be an Alpha is that i feel that it;s a blessing to be part of such an organization and i want to feel that way. I know what my goals are in life and what order they are in although Alpha is not number one it's in my top 5 lifetime goals. I wont be discouraged by your disdain for my feelings.

Wow Phillyinterest,
Calm down. No one is attacking you, but merely asking you to consider some things. I understand what Alpha means to you. What I don't understand is why you are so reluctant about the idea of going through a Grad chapter.

Being a member of any of the D9 is a lifetime commitment. That means 40-50 years of alumnae service versus 1-3 years of collegiate service.

If you truly believe what you have written, then pursue Grad. it doesn't have to be while you are in graduate school, it can be afterwards when you have more time to fully commit for the REST OF YOUR LIFE!

Re: Kudos for Laidback's Keen Observation.
 

When i said that my "little greek heart is broken", I didnt thnik that you all would take it to the heart. The reason i called it my little greek heart was because at this stage my greek heart is broken, it is not little because of i plan to do small deeds (although it's those that count the most to many), but because when a door constanly closes for you sometimes you become a little discouraged and even anger. I have a large heart, which allows me to do more than most people (Greeks included!). I volutneer at least once a week while doing 18 credits as a full time student and working 2 part time jobs!! People should take everything so literal all the time. Personally im tired of greek( only on this board) constantly telling me i shouldn't seek being greek! What are u thinking when you tell an aspirant whose been working hard for two years to bring a chapter a Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity Inc. to a campus which is still 90% white. I enjoy dedicating my time to fight for something i love. You dont know me, nor do you know my heart and you shouldn't tell me that Alphadom is not for me.

I have to ask that you please excuse me from my earlier post. I was a little heated. But i do understand and appericate your advice and honestly you are totally right. Im a worker and when i have a goal (one was to start a chapter of Alpha Phi Alpha at my school) it's hard for me to realize that goal is not going to happen when i set the time for it to happen in. I do think that going grad may have to be an option for me. Once again thank you for caring enough to even give me advice. :)

Re: andrew
 

Again for everyone who happens to be reading this, I am NOT a member of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc.

Just a concerned member of a BGLO.

It's not your aspirations that I questioned, it's the latent message in your second response that concerns me.

In that case you should feel proud of the legacy you've started there.

It seems as if you don't need Alpha to truly make a mark.

IF you are granted an opportunity to be considered for membership in the future those experiences will have served you well.

IF thats how you truly feel.

It should matter not whether you are given an opportunity Grad or Undergrad.

The brotherhood is what you are saying that you are interested in.

All of this is admirable.

Your second response, however, seemed to provide several conditionals as to why you feel you wouldn't make a good member if you went Grad.

Maybe I'm simply reading too much into what you wrote.

Your desire may be pure.

It's the interests that concerned me.

Why shouldn't we be?

We've earned the privilege to wear the letters and live our oath one to another.

If that shouldn't be protected enthusiastically, what should?

I know that Men of Alpha appreciate seeing that.

Many times persons interested rarely search for a historical perspective.

Blessings come in God's time not yours.

Preparing for that time is all that you can do at this point.

I'd hope not.

But I'd also hope that you look back at your posts and try to UNDERSTAND where I am coming from with my comments.

You don't know me and I don't know you.

However when I speak it's to make a point and several things about your post did not sit well with me.

Re: Re: andrew
 

As i stated to another member i do have to apologize for seeming defensive and angry. I do thank you for taking the time to analyze my post and help me see certain things that honestly i may have not realized i thought, felt or even said. So i do understand your reasoing and i also understand why greeks are so defensive when they come into contact with aspirants, for the simple fact as you pointed out you worked hard for your letters and most greeks love their organizations, i didnt think about it that way. So i do understand what you are saying and i honestly appericate your guidance. Sometimes we look for advice and expect it to taste like sugar when sometimes we actually need a little salt on our plate! :) With highest respect and apperication

Message for the Heartbroken One.
 

Hotep Brothers. "Heartbroken one" you stated a rather intriguing and defensive response to the ADVICE that you was given by ALPHAS and various other D9 (elite 8 in my day) members. Your ambition, determination, and drive as so stated insofar as your interest in a great fraternity is to be lauded; but sadly I stand on MY VIEWPOINT, that your written attestment as best reflected by YOUR TONE clearly is indicative of many of TODAY'S membership comprising up of the "new wave" boat members of BLACK FRATERNITIES & SORORITIES. I truly believe it to be no laughing matter when someone expresses interest in joining ALPHA PHI ALPHA FRATERNITY, INC. I would NEVER vouch for a one who is without HUMILITY (something that a few of MY FELLOW ALPHA BROTHERS might perceive you to be w/out & lacking as shown your post). Your seeking ALPHADOM might pose to be quite difficult if you step to the BROTHERHOOD the way in which your defensive tone so appeared to be. You can choose to interpret the vibe of this post however you want. I post in peace, and I am suggesting that you HUMBLE yourself to LISTEN, and interpret reasoning given you by bonna fide members of ANY ORGANIZATION that you are so interested to join. Years ago there were "SMOKERS" whereby you would be DISMISSED in less than THREE MINUTES if you came to MY BROTHERS w/such a PISS POOR attitude. Your attitude is privy to being perceived as "PISS POOR" by those who are on the SIDE you are "trying" to get to. Humble yourself and do what you can to prove them wrong and maybe just maybe you will be granted the honor of "EARNED" membership. Good luck in your endeavor to pursue ALPHADOM.:cool:

Re: Message for the Heartbroken One.
 

As with the other members that offered me advice i feel that it's important that i apologize to you. As a member of any of these distinguished organizations, you all deserve a certain amount of respect from me just for the simple fact that you've done something that i strive to do someday. I really do appericative your advice, because i honesty believe if you didnt care about me as a aspirant you would have just scrolled along through my post and left. The fact that you took time out to point out some issues that i may not have realized is highly commendable and apperciated. I do understand why you feel the way you do. I underestimated the love that you as a member of such an organization feels about it. I as an aspirant sometimes feel as if i'm the only person (at least at my school) who shares a love for Alpha. I can promise you this is not my attitude all the time and it was out of anger because i didnt realize the advice given to me was just that helpful and caring advice. I've learned to take advice like i said earlier it's not always gonna be sweet but sometimes the bitter is the most important. But i do share an unparrelled love for Alpha, and wish to be a part of such a distinguished organization. I hope that you do know that I am an honest and true aspirant of Alpha Phi Alpha fraternity Inc. and whether i'm allowed to share in this brotherhood tommorrow or 10 years from now my love will never go away. Once again thank you for your most useful advice and know that i am working on the things that were bought to my attention. Im a very headstrong person and sometimes that comes off the wrong way. Thank you

re: Philly's Love
 

Hotep Brothers. Mr. Philly, your offering of understanding is kindly accepted by this here Blackman. Be it known, that one must be careful about professing "love" blindly toward that which h/she does not really know. This is not to imply that you do not know something about Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc. for you do or else you obviously would not have posted in this room. Nevertheless, PATIENCE along w/observation and RESEARCH is very important whenever one is to embark upon a lifelong journey. I liken such to marriage. Do you have a Queen in your life? Many scoff at such a ? but I do not. I readily ask individuals who are interested in any BLACKMANS fraternal organization of mine whether they are under the power of the BLACKWOMAN. Any BLACKMAN who is w/out a BLACKWOMAN in his life causes for me to bluntly ask of his reason for such. Before I offer my time I must know that he DOES LIKE BLACKWOMEN and is NOT a FLAME THROWER. No offense but you do like BLACK FEMALES right? Philly, has some very nice Queens of the likes of Jill Scott, etc. Catch my drift? Mr. Philly, have you ever read Frances Cress Welsing's "The Isis Papers?" You can obtain some important answers to your ? that you posted in another thread.

Re: re: Philly's Love
 

Currently right now there is a Nubian Queen in my life. who support and love is something that keeps me going. I personally love black women. I've dated white women before,, and although i am not racisit, they're not for me. I love the strength in a black, the abilty to say how she feels and say in such a way that i know it's coming from the heart. I've seen the strength in my mother and my grandmother, and i look for the same thing in my Nubian Queen. I believe that black women were created with strength, courage , and wisdom. Im not a "flame Thrower" lol, but i do have a question. I've been invited to many Alpha events and there were alot of "Flame throwers" there was no mistake about that. Openly gay BLACk men in such a noble organization thatwas built on manly deeds. DOnt get me wrong im not gay bashing just saying shouldnt there be some kind of unspoken rule stating that what bumps in tha night should stay in the darK? Tell me if im overstepping my boundiares here

Re: Re: re: Philly's Love
 

Then why the thread about being with White women?

:rolleyes: :mad: ------->

Why respond to this thread:rolleyes:

re: Philly's Path toward GUIDANCE!
 

Hotep Brothers. Mr. Phillyinterest, YIPEEEEE! You are w/a GREATNESS! I am pleased to know you have embarked upon the HONOR & PLEASURE of the FIRST TEACHER (aka BLACKWOMAN). PROTECT her at ALL COSTS!. Now, on to business. Be it known, that there is an ongoing ATTACK & ASSAULT to WEAKEN the MASCULINITY of the BLACKMAN, and this form of sickness has infected many BLACK MALE FRATERNAL GROUPS. No need to worry though because BLACK MANHOOD will surely prevail and come out on top (no pun intended). The COUNCIL of ALPHAMEN who promote, support, & advocate BLACK MANHOOD are enduring a movement that is taking place right this very minute. I know many are scratching their heads and saying, "WTF is this dude (or some derogatory name) on?" I assure you that ALPHA PHI ALPHA FRATERNITY, INC. is not going to EVER be accepting as a MATROSEXUAL, HOMOSEXUAL, or any other SEXUAL other than H-E-T-E-R-O-S-E-X-U-A-L FRATERNITY. I promise. In the meantime make sure you explore what GREATNESS you have and can contribute should you be blessed to join the ranks of GREAT BLACK MEN who have been claimed as SONS (not DAUGHTERS) of KING ALPHA (not QUEEN ALPHA). I welcome providing you further insight into your GREATNESS along w/your pursuit of your fraternal endeavor. Lastly, make sure you visit Temple University's AfriKan Studies Dept. and tell my mentor Dr. Asante I said, "HOTEP!" Stay focused BLACKMAN! :cool:

Ladygreek help me PLEASE!!!!!
 

Hotep Brothers. Queen Ladygreek, you are ever so WISE, BEAUTIFUL, and STRONG so please help me by not being so AMAZON-LIKE (I respect you being of DST and know that you are just exemplifying the UNIque Trait of such-ok?) Phillyinterest is a young BLACKMALE who is craving his BLACKNESS and the POWER and WONDER of such. Let us embrace him and invite him to STAY HOME. To do otherwise will give him the yearning to want to STRAY FROM HOME! Lighten up on him ok? You SELF-RELYING AMAZON QUEEN YOU!:cool: ;)

Re: Ladygreek help me PLEASE!!!!!
 

I merely asked the question. What he said here seems contradictory to the other thread he started. In fact, his whole Alpha thing is started sounding contradictory and suspect. So now I wonder if he is a real, sincere poster or a troll.

Ladygreek...interesting!
 

Hotep Brothers. Queen Ladygreek, I have respect for you. You have a QUEEN'S instinct & intuition, that I truly must acknowledge. DAMN! I hope you are wrong. Good catch and observation.:confused:

Re: Ladygreek...interesting!
 

My other post about the big deal about dating white women has to do with the fact that because i am mixed i get alot of drama for it. Men in my family are not unfamiliar with dating and marrying white women, As i stated in both post i have dated white women also, as a whole they are not for me. I have dated two that may have worked out but i dont deny my african american hertiage andn the strength and power of black women. I am dating a black women and dont see myself with any other woman period right now white or black. I just didnt understand the big deal about it.

Re: Ladygreek...interesting!
 

I just want you to know that im not here pulling anyone's leg, or being a "troll". The issues i talk about here are pure in nature and are not just a bunch of hog wash. I am who i say i am and feel what i say i feel. I appericate your guidance and your helping hand. I can assure you that im not playing any games. the post about dating white women had to do with a disccussion and somethings that were said to me. As i said earlier im with a NUBIAN QUEEN right now. I wont deny dating white women but i will always love and embrace my own hertiage. Although i am mixed i was always accpected my my African American brothers and sisters. It is only now that i am in college that i deal with a lot of drama. That does not deter me from being who i am and dating black women and realizing their strength. So please know that i am not "fake" or trying to mislead people. My journey towards Alpha Phi Alpha fraternity Inc. is something that is real and it's important to me. If and when i'm accpected into this brotherhood of intelligent, strong, and wise black men or past and present it will be a blessed day for me.

I find it quite interesting that you all would entertain such a topic on a public board. Wow

Personally i feel that your thinking is the thinking of many African Americans when it comes to touchy topics. No one wants to speak about them or discuss their feelings. We as a community need to learn to be more open. What better place to talk about such topics then on a public board where many feel more comfortable voicing their thoughts and get the chance to see how other people feel about "such a topic"

Now you are straying way out of your lane.

Simmer down.

Stop being so defensive.

BrickHouse is correct in the fact that we've given you way too much air time as it is.

Take all the nuggets of wisdom you can gleam from the posts here.

Everyone that has posted so far is a Man or Woman of a BGLO except you.

The ungrateful always bite the hands that feed them.

I'm saying, He is asking questions that could potentially hinder his chance of being an Alpha. This is the exact reason why the "OLD WAY" doesn't work anymore. People don't want to keep their business to themselves. It isn't HARD to identify who you are. Those who are close to you indeed could be the ones to stop your progress.

Im not understanding what you are saying. Because you all are members of BGLO's (which you do get alot of respect for me) Im not allowed to have my own intellectual thoughts and share them with other people such as yourself's. In my last posts i didnt disrespect anyone i even apologized if i had in prior post. I have alot of respect for you all and said many of times i appericate your advice and guidance but i dont appericate you treating me as if im second class or just another "dumb interest". I thought this was a board where i can share my thoughts with other people who have made it to where i hope to be someday. Please stop taking all my post as "hot or angry". And what questions am i asking that could hinder me from ever being an Alpha? The fact that i asked about the homosexuals in the organization. I guess thats also a taboo subject. I didnt judge anyone i asked because i thought i was in a comfort zone and could ask a question. I know there are lines that i as an aspirant can not cross, but instead of writing me off tell me, dont treat me as if im of " a lower class".

Philly,
I don't think that is what they are saying at all. We tell folx all the time on greek message boards about discretion--don't put too much about yourself out there--it could come back to haunt. You have basically bared your soul on here and you don't know who could be reading this board and think "dang that dude is too open with his sh*t. we can't trust him with Alpha business." And they might be in the area in which you are seeking membership.

So just chill a little and continue your pursuit, but tone it down. The internet is a small world after all.

There is so much I want to respond to.

But I will simply say this:

1) In discussing this we are ALL out of our lane.

2) You did NOT respect the rules of this forum based on this thread http://greekchat.com/gcforums/showth...threadid=38767 while it's entitled "Questions About Membership" I'm sure it was meant to curtail all discussions of the membership sort.

PMs are in order now.

But respect for the tone of this forum is a must.

Men of Alpha I apologize for participating in this conversation.

Wow..expressing interest on the net is cool. No discretion needed, eh? Learn something new every day. Thanks GC. :rolleyes:

And there it is in a heartbeat.

in a heartbeat? lol..never heard that one.

whattup by the way. :cool:

Because people like me...can find out who you are…. and make it harder for you to join. Discretion is a key in Alpha. After reading your posts... you don't know it.

lol... a term my granddaddy use. I'm at school working on my research problem/question. Whats good with you? :)