going on dates to just go on a date
 

do you agree to go on dates with people you don't have an interest in just to go out on a date?

I don't understand why you would want to spend an evening with someone that you aren't interested in. It sounds like it would be a chore, not something fun.

Dee

Re: going on dates to just go on a date
 

No. I don't feel like I should waste my time (or theirs). One of my friends does this and I just don't see a point. If you have no interest in someone at all, why waste your time?

Re: Re: going on dates to just go on a date
 

I've done this twice in the past. I had an hidden agenda both times. :o One reason, sometimes getting to know one person can get you closer to another person.

Go if you think you *might* be interested. If it's a get-to-know you date with a guy you got set up with through a friend, or you've gone on two dates with the same guy and still aren't quite sure what's going on.

Other than that, I think I'd be worried people would think I was trying to mooch a free meal.

If you have no interest in the person.

And you aren't paying for your own meal.

That's all a person would being doing in the end.

As long as you don't lead anyone on, it's fine to dabble in serial dating. A first date doesn't carry any long-term committments, so think of it as social networking. ;)

Casually dating different types of men/women can help you better understand what you are looking for in a significant other, develop a new interest (Ie: music, arts, a new kind of food you haven't tried before), learn something new about yourself or make a new friend/group of friends.

And you might meet someone special through that new group of friends!

DEAD ON! You explained way better than I did!

Depends.

If it's to a date party or formal or something like that, I'd go just b/c it would be fun and I could probably pick someone up there that I did like.

On a regular date...nah.

I went out on many dates before I met my fiance. If I met someone who was interested in me and held my interest, I accepted a date. These guys were nice and we had a good time, but nothing materialized. I guess that is casual dating. I was going out and having fun.

Re: going on dates to just go on a date
 

I don't think the guy cares as long as he gets to know the girl in the biblical sense.

-Rudey

Does that include letting the other person know BEFORE the date that you have Zero Interest in them?

It's not dating if you don't look at it as a date.

It's serial rejection.

Since there is no commitment or promise of one, are you paying for your own way?

I agree with your premise.

But first dates don't allow you to see what a person truly is about.

Most times it takes several dates for a person to move through their own closely held perceptions about people to even begin to see what the other person is really all about.

Now if you are hanging out with a group of people you can learn some of these things but not always with the one on one cuz most "First Dates" are not that creative, unless you plan to do something totally different than the norm.

But most times when you have the mindset to plan to do something totally different from the norm in relation to going on a first date you already understand what it is you want and know that you don't waste time on pointless dates.

Are you trying to court for marriage? Or are you just trying to "hang out"?

Dating is really "hanging out" if you do it "serially"... It hardly ever leads more than a few "sporty events" then it's whatever...

If you DO NOT want to get married to that person, and you WANT marriage (eventually), DO NOT go out with that person you have no interest in...

But, I don't see anything wrong with "Continuable Dateable Education" even if you have little interest in that person... You have got to learn how "folks" think, somehow... And practice makes perfect... If you do not "DATE" at all, then how will you have appropriate social interactive behaviors???

DAYUM... Where's James... He's better at this than me... :rolleyes:

And don't date Cashmoney unless you want your world rocked... :p

And you can date Rudey, and he MIGHT show you good time, but he's gonna have EXPECTATIONS in the end... ;)

That's pretty much the broad ranges you get with most guys...

Perhaps I am focusing too hard on the original question which asks:

How in the world could this be viewed as a positive interaction or even a learning experience?

You don't have an interest in the person.

You, more than likely, are viewing the date with totally different outcomes.

You, more than likely, will not tell the person, "Hey, _______. I have no interest in you. I'm just going out cuz I wanna go on a date."

Maybe it's me but a person's perceptions are more than likely still going to shape their reality in the end.

Little would mean some.

But she said:

She's speaking of none.

Which, in the end, can't lead to any productive social interaction.

I've done this before with guys I've met at clubs that seemed interesting. But since you can't really hold a conversation in a crowded loud club, it's refreshing to go to a sober cafe after the fact. Generally after seeing them in both environments I can either not see them again or see if I can get a friendship out of it at least.

Re: going on dates to just go on a date
 

I think a first date truly makes you KNOW if you have interest in the person, so it's ok to go on a date to find out.

I do it. You never know. Unless, of course, I really can't stand the person...even then, a free meal just isn't worth it.

I'd rather stay home and do my laundry! :)

I took the question to mean that you already know that the person doesn't interest you. First dates are definitely a "get to know you" to see if there is interest situation. But, if, after the first date, you know you aren't interested (ie. they revealed a deal breaker), and you continue to go out with them, then I just don't get it.

Me too.

Which is why some of these responses baffle me.

Cuz when men say they take a female out in hopes of sex.

SOME women take up arms and wanna gather up the 'posse'.

Eesh. I hadn't read it like that. In that case, you're right.

There's a difference between deal-breakers and just not knowing for sure what's going on, though. For instance, for me, having kids is a deal-breaker. So is being very quiet and shy.

If you have kids, I won't go on a 2nd date with you. (Though I will reccomend you for other positions in the field, if you're a sweet guy.) But I'll sometimes go on a 2nd date with a quiet guy -- figuring he might have had an off night, been cowed by my obvious beauty and charms, etc.

They can talk all they want about how you're going in with intentions, but once you booze them up and play the Seabisquit soundtrack they'll put out.

-Rudey

I gotta get up on that soundtrack.

Titanic has always worked for me in the past.

a little update....

well, i didn't end up going out with the guy who i had no interest in. basically he didn't call when he said he would so i made other plans. i did end up seeing him on sat night...and he asked me to sleep with him. stupid boy! if you don't call when you say you will...you don't get to ask the girl to sleep with you.

just thought inquiring minds would want to know.

Did he provide you with booze, low lighting, and perhaps the Gladiator soundtrack before he asked for sex?

-Rudey

every one of you has gone out with some one for free food

I think AKA_Monet has the right of this one.

A good movie to think about is "50 First Dates" with Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore. The lesson is that on any given day you might succeed or strike out with someone.

You might meet a person on Tuesday and hit it off but if you had met that person on Monday you would have struck out. The timing could be off. One of you could feel bad. Or you just might be out of synch.

Dating someone you don't already have a lot of interest in is a way to see if you hit it off over a few dates. This is assuming you find them basically attractive. Or at least nice to look at.

I also think that AKA_monet is right on with her "Continuable Dateable Education" idea.

*raises hand* I'm one of them!