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Now about these wedding plans...
Ack! So my oldest daughter is getting married, the first of 9 daughters, and the wedding will be in December. I'm looking at everything we have to do and *panicking*. Does anybody have any golden advice?
She'll be using a Christmas theme. |
Set a budget and stick to it. But that's true for anything.
There are some really good wedding advice threads on here somewhere...but none are from mothers wanting advice. Good luck! |
Congratulations! I have been thinking about a Christmas theme for my wedding although I have no date set. I really have no clue about where or how to get started myself. Everything is so expensive and overwhelming that I am considering running to City Hall. I have looked at the knot which seems to be full of good ideas. Maybe that will help you. Good luck!
Tomorrow in NYC, Filene's Basement is having their big bridal sale, also known as the running of the brides. I might check it out if I have the summoned up the fortitude. Maybe you'll see me on the news fighting with another bride for the perfect wedding gown, lol! :p |
Re: Now about these wedding plans...
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Planning on paper! Get a notebook and keep careful notes, it will help you keep on track :). Using a database/speadsheet or PROJECT MANAGEMENT software is a GODSEND.... I used MSProject in most event planning for work, and planning a wedding *is* an event ;) :) :) KEEP A SENSE OF HUMOR....BE FLEXIBLE :)...things will happen and ultimately is the marriage that counts not the party to the point! |
If you are planning on having Christmas trees in the theme, then you should consider Old Time Pottery. They have those in GA, don't they? We bought 4 footers, 6 footers, and 10 footers for a little of nothing from there. We bought wreaths and had bows made for them to go on the church doors.
Then, we had our florist do the bouquets, etc. It cut our floral/decorating cost in half. I would suggest for her to buy some Brides magazines and look online for things she likes. Romanticflowers.com is an awesome site for bouquet ideas. I gathered pictures of things I liked and would use in my wedding. I placed them in sheet protectors in a binder. Then, when we went to the caterers, I had the catering ideas right there. When we went to the florist, I had the bouquet types I liked, etc. When we went dress shopping, I was able to show the boutique what type of dress and favorite designers I liked. I was able to empower myself by knowing what I wanted. That put a lot less stress on me. |
no advice from me, but congrats and keep us posted on how it is going!
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First off, Congrats to your daughter and to you!
go to: http://boards.weddingchannel.com There are TONS of great ideas on there, especially in the Planning and Wedding Journal forums. |
Does the church or chapel that you're using have photos of what it looks like at Christmastime? I've always said that, when we do get married, I want it at Christmastime, since our church is decorated to the absolute hilt, with hurricane lamps & greens at every window, evergreen boughs with either magnolias or poinsettias, and trees. Why pay for more when there's already a lot of decoration? Your daughter should be the star, after all!
Also, between my first marriage, and when I talked to our church's wedding planner, there has been a TON of changes - so I'd start with the venue, and see what they allow and what they'll have. For instance, pew bows, a consultant, and Herbal Tea in the Bride's Room :rolleyes: are all part of holding the service in the church, while rice, bird seed, and confetti are NOT allowed. From there, I'm going to bow to Tippiechick! |
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Honeychile, the reason I know what the church looks like at Christmas is that Mr. Carnation and I were married there at Christmas--she's getting married the same week only 25 years later! And she's using the same soloist; and the soloist's son, who was my ringbearer, will be her organist! Her bridesmaids will wear the 2-piece strapless red gowns at www.davidsbridal.com . No clue about bouquets yet (but they'll be Christmasy) or a reception site...:eek: there is so, so much to think about. Caterers! Photographers! Florists! Does anybody have any tips that made their planning easier? LOL, birdseed. They threw it at my wedding and my French braid rained birdseed all the way to Orlando. |
Bridal organizer software!!
When Mr. Trojangal and I were planning our wedding, I came across a wonderful free bridal organizer that could be put on computer!!! It was called Bridesmate or BridalMate, I believe. There were several wonderful functions: budget tracker, budget planner,GUEST LIST DATABASE--what was really cool about this function was that it allowed us to enter all of the information from invite to RSVP..and it allowed us to print out a list of all who were attending so we could give caterer a final count and we could give the military base all the names of those attending. What was even neater was it allowed us to record shower gifts and wedding gifts, and when we needed to mail those thank you notes, the addresses were already in one place!
Just checked the Internet...it's at bridesmate.com I think you'll find it helpful! |
Congratulations!! 9 daughters??? Wow....
Anyway, I have 2 pieces of advice from remembering my own wedding-planning days: 1) Determine your budget BEFORE you begin any planning...this will keep you locked in to what you can afford and not result in having to take out a 2nd and 3rd mortgage on your house... 2)While a wedding is a serious event, don't take the whole thing SO seriously! Enjoy the process...be flexible...keep things in perspective....and keep a sense of humor about the whole planning process. Ultimately it's one day of the bride's rest of her life...I've seen brides who feel like their marriage will be a failure because the wedding didn't go the way they had hoped. IT'S ONE DAY!!! Good luck and enjoy this time with your daughter!! |
Get all of her bridesmaids to order their dress ASAP. The red from David's is such a pretty color, and my roommate and I were just saying how beautiful it would be for a Christmas wedding (I'm wearing a strapless red dress from David's for my little's wedding tomorrow!). But David's will change styles fairly quickly sometimes... I had picked out a different dress with the bride, but by the time the other bridesmaids got around to getting there it was discontinued.
Have a cookie table! Bring the tradition down to Georgia! I dropped off myc ookies at the hall yesterday.... dear God, I have NEVER seen so many cookies. Even the hall staff commented on how many there were (and this is Pittsburgh, they have cookie tables at every wedding). If honey's theory is true, they will have a very successful marriage. Maybe not so much a problem down South, but we're going to have pictures taking outside tomorrow... on top of Mt. Washington (overlooks the city). It's going to be friggin cold!!!!! I will probably have a ton of wedding do's and don't after tomorrow :) ETA: communicate with the bridesmaids! They can help you a lot, and it makes things very confusing when they're out of the loop. As the mother of the bride, go to the bachlorette party! You'll need the stress relief |
Like everyone else said, get wedding planning software or a good book-form planner. I got mine at Barnes & Noble for about $15, and it had all sorts of checklists for things I never even thought of.
Pick out invitations soon so you can have lots of time to address them. And get a guest list EARLY so you have numbers for things, like the caterer. Have her join theknot.com. I prefer it to weddingchannel.com. I'm a huge fan of The Knot Magazine, too. It has all sorts of ideas for people who don't have huge budgets (and some for those who do). I found pictures of dresses, flowers, cakes, etc. all from the magazine and website. Good luck! My wedding is in less than a month, and I'll let you know if I think of anything else. |
the best i can do is big time congrats.
enjoy the chaos. it will be wonderful. |
Congratulations! :)
The farther ahead you plan everything, the more likely it is to get done the way you'd like, and the more time you have to correct anything that goes wrong. Have the bridesmaids order their dresses, shoes, and accessories now. Your daughter should arrange her final dress fitting WELL in advance... like several months in advance. Check with the officiant that the wedding dress and bridesmaids' dresses are acceptable. In some churches, the bride can't have her shoulders bare (so no strapless or sleeveless dresses) or have too short a skirt. They may or may not be more lax with the bridesmaids. Organization is key. A former coworker of mine actually put together a Gantt chart, with herself, her fiance, parents, in-laws, and wedding party members as resources... she had task lists, dependencies, etc. Something you may not want to hear, is that your daughter and her fiance are in charge. You're not. If she wants her bridesmaids to carry bright pink and orange flowers, and you know that will clash horribly with their red dresses, certainly you can advise her to rethink her choice, but ultimately it's her choice. (Although I'm sure she has better taste than that! ;) ) Also, something WILL go wrong on the wedding day. With that many factors, something is bound to happen. Hopefully it will be something minor, but brides (and moms!) have a way of stressing out over every little detail, e.g. "I LOST A BOBBY PIN! OMG IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!!" (yes I've seen a bride do this). The important thing to remember is that, the photographer may have been late, the band may have forgotten that the maid of honor wanted to give a toast (happened at my wedding), the guests may have been stuck in traffic between the wedding and the reception... at the end of the day, they're just as married. Good luck with all the wedding planning. :) |
My sister is getting married in May. Her biggest stress has been the budget - even though my parents are paying for the entire thing. The dress was also an issue - but seems to have been resolved. If you are going to buy her dress in ATL PM me, so I can tell you where NOT to shop. We bought my sister's dress here and the bridal shop has been horrible.
*sorry, wedding vent now over* Other than that, my sister is big on the message boards at Ultimate Wedding , it's set up a lot like greekchat but for weddings. Please tell her congratulations. Have a great time planning, there is a lot of stress involved, but the end result is always worth it! |
Congratulations to your daughter and her fiance! The strapless 2-piece bridesmaids dresses are great, too! One thing about David's Bridal that I'm sure they will tell you is that you should order all of the dresses together to make sure they get made in the same lot so they will be the same exact color. This also cuts down on the problem mentioned earlier about discontinued styles.
BTW, don't fall for the "go a whole size up even if it fits perfect and get 2 alterations" crap they try to give you. I called a local alterations place and they told me to come in 5 weeks before the wedding and that I only had to do it once. Cost me $20 instead of God knows what. |
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More hints/ideas: * use the covers of old Christmas cards for table decorations, reply cards, seating cards or wish bowl cards. Great way to recycle old, pretty cards and keep a festive Christmas theme * use ornaments as decorations/favors. They're relatively inexpensive and make pretty mementos. * if they're on a tight budget, borrow anything and everything you can where decorations are concerned. We had mirrored square tiles that were originally bought for my oldest sister's first wedding, used for my middle sister's wedding, used again for my oldest sister's second wedding, used for another friend's wedding, used for my middle sister's sister-in-law's wedding, then used for her brother-in-law's wedding, used by me at my wedding and then later lent to someone else to use at their wedding. * Do as much as possible, as early as possible. Start making favors as soon as she knows what she wants to do, buy decorations early, buy attendant favors and have them wrapped and ready well before the big day. The fewer things she has to worry about the closer it gets to the wedding, the better it will be for everyone. ;) Christmas wedding ideas Christmas-themed cake ideas |
I'm getting married 9 weeks from tomorrow so I'll tell you what I know (bear in mind I'm a laid back Yankee, so some of this might not hold true in Gerogia! ;) ) Please excuse the novel...
Have her get on theknot.com. The local boards are a god-send!!! I found my dj, location, seamstress, florist, transportation, guest hotel and more from recommendations of other ladies in the area. HOWEVER, do not get bogged down in all the stuff the other "knotties" are doing. People are asking for poems to go with bathroom baskets, which color ribbon to put on the favors etc etc. Sometimes it makes you feel a bit inadequate so she needs to remember what is important to her. For the dress, think serioualy about getting it online. You can save a bundle. I tried on dresses at all sorts of salons, found the one I loved, and ordered it from pearlsplace.com for 40% less than in the salon. I lucked out and found a dress that wasn't too expensive in the first place, but if she's looking in the $1000 range then this can be a huge savings. These places are generally real bridal stores that will sell you dresses at the huge discount because you are never coming in and using their time/facilities. The ones you hear a lot about on the knot are the place I listed above, netbride.com, rkbridal.com, bridesave.com and Discount Bridal Service (dbs.com I think). Also, this is NOT meant to put anyone down, but please consider other designers besides David's. I got my veil and tiara there, so I'm not anti-David's, I just think for the money you pay there, you can get a better quality dress. My dress is Mori Lee, she's a cheaper designer. The quality of my dress far exceeds the ones I saw at David's for a comparable price. In fact, my seamstress even commented on the quality for the price of my dress. Again, David's has some beautiful dresses! I'm just saying, if you are trying to save, don't limit yourself to just David's. If she finds her dream there, go for it, but just know there are other options as well. As far as decor, you will save a BUNDLE because everywhere will already be decorated for the holidays! And lastly, I think all you need for planning is to get a bridal magazine and find the To Do List. There is one in EVERY issue. It gives you a good timeline and all the stuff you need to take care of (even things like changing insurance papers). I then bought myslef a handy pocket calendar and at each month I wrote what needs to be done that month. As I do it I check it off the calendar and the list. You don't want to get too many lists going because somewhere something will be missed. OK, I'm done I think. Good luck, don't stress too much, and have a wonderful time!!!!!! |
Most facilities discourage the use of birdseed now. I remember it used to be standard.
We were planning a memorial service in a building that is often used for wedding receptions. I can't remember how many times the staff told us that WE COULD NOT THROW BIRDSEED. Um...yeah. The next time I'm at a memorial service, I'm going to throw birdseed just for the hell of it. :rolleyes: |
What's so hard about planning a wedding? I never understood this.
You wear a dress, the guy wears a tux. Oh and by the way you think your dress is special but every fricking wedding gown is white and is the same. You pick a place to have it (church, home, hall, or courthouse). You pick the standard food (chicken or fish). You pick flowers (they're flowers...they all look the same). And you register for gift. Why is it so hard for chicks to have weddings? -Rudey |
One of the things I'm most proud of myself for (during my wedding planning) was to get the cathedral length veil and headpiece for a total of $25.
I wanted a crystal tiara type of headpiece, so I was shopping around at smaller bridal stores getting ideas. Most of the smaller tiaras were inching closer to $100...I was seriously considering ordering one from a prom catalog!! (Which isn't a bad idea nowdays....). Anyway, I found some on clearance because the metal band (that would have been hidden by my hair anyway) was tarnished. BINGO!! A $90 tiara for $20. The cathedral length veil was easy...go to a craft store, purchase tulle (however long you want it), purchase the plain clear hair combs (or barrette or whatever works with her hair...look in the bridal section at a craft store), cut and decorate the tulle (I had a simple rolled hem on mine), and attach to the comb. Put the headpiece on your head, slide the comb in near the headpiece to achieve the right look. I also had my formal portraits made without my veil in (just the tiara) just so they would be different. Have fun!!! PsychTau |
Someone offered to make a veil for me as a wedding gift so that's one thing less for me to worry about.
I know that carnation started this thread to help her daughter, but the suggestions and advice are really helping me right now so thank you. :) |
Budget!!!!! I know planners that have bride and grooms asking for LOANS for weddings. Don't forget that there is more to a marriage than a wedding.
That said: Weekday weddings (Friday evenings and such) are cheaper than getting a wedding done on a Saturday. I know most weddings are on Saturdays... but that's why they are so much more expensive. You will probably have better luck getting something on a Thursday or Friday because everyone and their mom will be renting reception halls during the holidays for things other than weddings. You will also save money on the limos. If you plan on getting married after Christmas, the church will already be decorated white. (That is, if it's a Catholic church.) My friends from church do some event coordinating and decorating. They swear by dollar stores and Wal-mart. Swear to God. It's not where it's from, it's what you do with it really. You can get some really inexpensive tulle/netting from Wal-mart, as apposed to going to Joanns or high end bridal stores. Most people won't notice the difference. And dollar stores sometimes have REALLY good glass bowls that can be dressed up with flowers, garland, etc. |
Two things I suggest:
1) This is HER wedding...Don't take over...I know you are excited and she is the first, but don't take over...Be there but remember it is HER day! 2) Don't stress...It's NOT going to be perfect....You can try, but something may go wrong. If isht goes wrong, try to deal the best you can and move on....It's one day... REMEMBER IT'S ABOUT THE MARRIAGE, NOT THE WEDDING! |
E-bay is a good source too. My sister got the mirrors for the table from there, as well as a few other things. She is also buying the stuff for the "bridesmaid emergency kits" and bathroom baskets from the $1 aisle at Target.
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I remembered something else!
If you are paying for any/all of this, let your daughter know exactly how much right off the bat! I tried to get my dad to tell me his budget and he always brushed it over because he wasn't "comfortable" talking about it. It caused much unnecessary stress when looking for a place (is this too much?), putting together a guest list, etc etc. Also, Rudey, you sound exactly like my fiance! How I wish it was that easy. Trust me, I think it's a lot less about women being crazy, and a lot more about the industry in general. When I looked in March of 04 for a potential date of a year later, all the places had 2 Saturdays left in all of Spring/summer/Fall 2005!!! |
When I was planning my wedding(even though it never happened) I LIVED by the planner I bought. It was small enough to carry around and had TONS of lists in it. It even listed a hundred flowers and the seasons you were able to get them in. And I strongly believe that it doesnt matter where you buy the stuff or how much you spend on it, if you can use some creativity you can make anything look fancy! Good luck!!
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How exciting!!!
Tell the photographer (and videographer, if applicable) if there are any specific pictures or poses the couple wants. While you're at it, tell the photographer if there are any shots the couple DOESN'T want. I wish I had another dozen pictures of us with our toddler niece, with DH's grandmother, with my father, or with my best friend/maid of honor instead of the pile of 'stylish' prints we specified we didn't want in the first place! Also, if the bride and groom will be serenaded make sure the photographer and videographer captures those moments on film. Thank heavens our photographer got that right :) |
I was in her shoes about 3.5 years ago
Congrats to your Daughter and her fiance. I was a December bride too
1. Tell your daughter that her future husband can NOT get away with "this is your Christmas/Anniversary" gift unless it is one hell of a gift. Mr. 1228 jokingly wanted to set our wedding date for December 27 so he could do the one gift for Christmas, anniversary and my birthday. I didn't fall for that! :D 2. Set a budget and plan a timeline for doing things 3. Ebay is your friend 4. you can be elegant but comfy on your wedding day. 5. relax and breathe When the stress gets to you, sit down and go to this wedding site Etiquette Hell and go to the wedding section and be prepared to : 1. laugh your ass off 2. tell your family and friends "if I act like this please kill me!" This is HER wedding, don't forget that. Let her lead and plan Good luck! |
I will have more to say on this tomorrow after some rest, just got back from the wedding today.
Have it somewhere where you won't be rushed! Start early and make sure you leave plenty of time. My little got married today in a very popular place in Pittsburgh that's very hard to get... you kind of have to get in and get out fast as they have several weddings in a day. We had to change and get in the limo lightening quick... and it was stressful. The bride and her mother discovered that Xanax works well for anxiety :) |
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*scared* I had someone offer to make my wedding cake, and another do my flowers as a gift. Neither turned out the way I wanted them to look - and I couldn't say much, since these were dear friends and I didn't want to hurt them. I was bound and determined not to be a "bridezilla", and kept focused on "this is one day, not the entire marriage". If someone offers to make something for your wedding, PLEASE make it crystal clear exactly what you want, and somehow, work in the right of changes!! To this day, we tease about what all went wrong (including the groom!), "but it was a beautiful day!" |
First, CONGRATS to your daughter!!
Seondly... from a girl who is planning her wedding (along with a few others..) PLEASE.. for the love of everything good in the world.. remember that it is HER wedding... NOT your's. (Can SOMEONE please call my mother and reminder her of that? She doesn't get it..) Listen to her.. BE FLEXIBLE. Third - Set a budget, but allow that buget to be slightly fluid. If the Dress of her DREAMS is $1000.. cut back somewhere else.. or let her get it. (Again, someone want to call MY mother?:rolleyes: :p ) Theknot.com is amazing. So is UltimateWedding.com they both have great resources! (I use both!) Make a list... either by paper.. or on a program such as MS Excel (excel will help keeping costs and such in tact.) Finally.. ENJOY THIS TIME! I know you're FULL of emotions.. so is your daughter.. but please remember that this is a JOYOUS occasion! :D |
ROTFL! My husband's best friend and his fiancee hired a seamstress and a guitarist for their wedding; they didn't know anything about either one. The fiancee gave her the patterns and material to make slinky red dresses for her bridesmaids.
Half an hour before the wedding, the seamstress gave Karen the dresses--with Santa Claus fur sewn onto the necks and cuffs! She said she couldn't resist doing it. The guitarist told them not to worry about what he'd play when she went down the aisle, that they'd love it. He plunked out "Here Comes the Bride" with one finger as she proceeded down the aisle.:eek: This is why we're checking out the vendors we don't know! |
I just have really one or two suggestions that have been hit upon...
The Budget: once your daughter gets that set.....have a general idea of what you want to spend on which item...what will be the most expensive, besides the food, b/c we all know that is the most expensive....but other things.....will it be the cake, the dress, the flowers....etc. I concur on the bridesmaid's dresses.....order every thing all at once....i've been a bridesmaid several times, I was also lucky enough to design my own dress, we either had to use the same material or the same color, of course the brides' had the final approval to make sure we weren't completely off and complimented each other Also remember that this is one day of celebration....a wedding does not make a marriage. Some ides to use for Christmas theme: 1) White lights everywhere 2) Have some holly leaves in the boutique 3) Candy cane candles as centerpieces 4) snowflake centerpieces 5) green, gold and red colors (my colors, sans the red) 6) A reception site that has a fireplace so that you could place a yule/wedding log into the fire place, hang stockings with the wedding couples name on them 7) pre-reception, have cookies, milk and eggnog for the guests 8) preplanned photo shots...have them take a few shots in B&W film. 9) have the bridal party have a "day at the spa" early on the day of the wedding or the day before. 10) Make-up and hair test a month before the wedding to make sure everything is the way your daughter wants it. 11) Break in those shoes....weeks before the wedding to make sure she can stay in them for long periods of time. 12) As the mom you know when to support your child and when to back off, be extra aware of this during the planning of this special occasion. 13) AVOID AS MUCH FAMILY DRAMA AS POSSIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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one of my friends did the black and white photos for her wedding and they were GORGEOUS!!!!! |
If she has the date set and is planning to invite guests from out of town then start giving them all a heads up so they can plan their vacations to come.
My dad does a lot of woodworking and I love Christmas. What I want to do for my favors (whenever I get married, even if not at Christmas) is to have my dad cut out wood hearts and then one side I'll put on the the first part of 1 Chorinthians 13 Love is patient...On the other side I'll put the date of the wedding. If I do have a Christmas wedding then for seating cards I thought about buying ornaments and writing the persons name on it in gold and have a little tag attached with the table number on it. So that way they end up with two favors from me |
That is one of the reasons I planned the wedding in Las Vegas...didn't need no family drama, I have enough! :D
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Do your photos before the ceremony (or as many as possible, if the bride and groom don't want to see each other before the ceremony). You don't want to miss the cocktail hour. ;) |
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