It's a damn shame....
 

You know what, I post this at the risk of sounding unbrotherly, but fuck it.

I am really tired of private messages with intolerant, hateful messages that question why I became an Alpha. I am sick of grown ass men -- who are supposed to be showing me guidance and wisdom -- telling me that Alpha doesn't want me, that I never should have been initiated, that we need to get rid of all gays in Alpha, that I give Alpha a bad name.

I am sick of the bitch ass moderator in my forum saying things like:

I LOVE Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc. Don't get me wrong. But when we sing "Manly deeds, scholarship, and love for all mankind....where were these people?

Yes I am a gay black man and I am an Alpha -- so the fuck what? Am I THE FIRST DAMN ONE????? From 1906 to 2003, I was the first queer Alpha to ever walk the earth?

I have been shown more brotherhood from Pikes, AEPis, LXAs, SigEps, hell....I've been shown more SINCERE Brotherhood by most of the men on this board. But when it comes to my own frat, it comes down to throwing your hands up and not being able to do anything about me AT BEST, and at worst, letting other brothers be UNBROTHERLY in our own forum??? WE LET PHASHRINER SPEAK BUT WE CLOSE A FUCKING THREAD ABOUT HOMOSEXUALITY????

That is complete and utter bullshit, and I am fucking sick of it.

THANK GOD that in the REAL world all the REAL Alphas I know truly have my back and accept me for who I am. But to date, I am disgusted by the lack of brotherhood that's been shown to me by my own frat brothers on this board.

THANK YOU to everyone who has supported me on this board....i'm not talking about book sales, either. I am talking about that sincere ride or die brotherhood and friendship.

This may be "messy"....this may be "unbrotherly".....but at this point, I don't care. I really don't. I will NEVER go back into the Alpha thread and I will delete any PMs I recieve from Alphas on this site. That is the god's honest truth and I MEAN IT.

I think you are a great person and a great representation of your fraternity.
People represent their GLO by wearing their letters proudly and donating their time to their organization. Personally, I don't think anyone represents their organization by whatever sex they prefer.
I wouldn't think any less of Alpha because they had a gay member and from what I've seen of your postings on GC, I would actually think more of Alpha! Sorry to hear that some people are giving you a hard time. :(

I've got to agree with ZTAngel. I don't know any Alpha's besides who I've "met" on this board and I think you are an excellent representation of the fraternity.

I'm sorry that people are being unkind to you. From what I have gleaned from your posts on GC, you are a really great guy and someone I would probably enjoy as a friend in real life. I hope that things improve for you on your fraternity forum.

I never really cared about someone's sexual orientation. It might be the result of my upbringing. I try not to judge people especially about things that are none of my business and do not impact my life directly.

R,

I'll echo the previous posts and say that I'm glad you are who you are and I'm glad you're here on GC.

I am so glad that you have many more brothers out there who accept you for who you are.

I do hope that those who are close-minded can get past that and finally understand the brotherhood you are so proud to be a part of.

Keep your chin up, hon. Cheesy, but its the truth: "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter."

This is absolutely insane - I openly challenge any Alpha men with issues to come to bat, right here, in front of the community. Let's see how well your bigotry represents your noble order, and we'll compare to Senusret - who is unilaterally well-regarded, liked, and appreciated here.

Let's see it, gentlemen.

Fuck them. People like that are threatened by someone who was strong enough to know who he is and took the steps to ensure that others knew it too. You don't need those "brothers" when you know you have true bonds with the people who really matter.

Rashid, I'm sorry to hear that you're experiencing this from your brothers. You are a great representation of Alpha and APO and a wonderful contributor to GC.

I know there are lots of us here on GC who wish you weren't gay.

But then again that's just to fulfill our own personal and selfish needs. ;) :p Bwahahahaha.

I second that.

You are hot, a good writer, a good APO, and a devoted Alpha Man. It's a SHAME your brothers say things like that. I know another Alpha who is gay and I think he is an awesome representation of the fraternity. Once you are initiated, you are their BROTHER, simple as that, and it's SAD that your brothers can't put brotherhood in front of their personal feelings about your sexual preference (which by the way is no ones' business but yours). :)

I'm very sorry that a few have responded to you in a hurtful, negative way. Count me among those who value your friendship and see you as a fine member of your fraternity. A favorite snappy comeback of mine is "Grin and ignore it!"

You are a class act and a very good representative of Alpha and APO. I've said it before but I am very proud to be able to call you my Brother. It's too bad some others on here don't know the meaning of true brotherhood.

Rashid...

Hang in, man. We know who the better man is at the end of the day.

Face it - you are doing a better job of representing Alpha Phi Alpha and its' ideals than the likes of the trash that trolls the Alpha forum.

I agree with KSig RC's sentiment - I'd love to see some of these "men" defend themselves for their bigotry and unbrotherly actions - but I have a feeling that like most bigots they are cowards at heart.

Co-sign. Those small-minded posters are just jealous because of all the GCers of both genders who think you are a hottie.

Seriously, co-sign on what every other poster in this thread has said. Any GLO would be proud to have a kind, talented (and did I mention hot?) member such as yourself.

Agreed!

Your "real" brothers will love and respect you for who you are, no matter what.

Don't let a few bad seeds get you down.

Sadness.

Whatever happened to unconditional love? Isn't that what brother/sisterhood is about? Would you shun your biological siblings and/or best friends for their lifestyles even though their actions speak positive volumes?

S, I appreciate your eloquence. I wish you luck with your upcoming book release.

I completely agree with what OTW and others have said: I AM a little sad that you're gay. But, it's only for selfish reasons;)

I am very sorry to hear about what's been going on for you. I know it must really hurt to see your Alpha brothers treating you this way.

I just wanted to echo what others have been saying in that you are one of the finest (*double entendre here*) examples of what a fraternity man SHOULD be like.

I honestly had no idea that you are gay until I read this thread. But, it doesn't change the fact that I think you are one hell of a great guy and one of my favorite Greek Chatters. Keep your chin up. There are a LOT of people here who have your back should you ever need it.

Hugs, buddy. I can't even imagine what that is like for you. I hope it is some consolation that there are plenty of people on this board (and it sounds like plenty of Alphas in real life) that completely support you.

And I hope this is a wakeup call for some people that "being a good representation of our organizations" goes beyond, oh, not drinking in letters. You can do all the community service you want, but if you're treating your fellow brothers the way that Rashid has been treated by some of his on this board, you're definitely giving people the wrong impression of what a fraternity's supposed to be about.

Until these people pull their heads out of their asses, Rashid, just know that there are tons of on this board who can't find a better example of what an Alpha Man should be like than you.

Dude, you've been nothing but a GREAT example of an Alpha (and I know many in real life). Your "brothers" are just perpetuating the ignorance and homophobia which is such a damn problem in our community, not to mention perpetuating the stereotype that Black men are insecure in their masculinity. But, I digress.

We all love you.

Bro, dont sweat it. You gotta know that there are way more of your brothers that support you and value you for who you are vs. the few who make the comments who seem to not support you.

Also, they are doing Alpha a HUGE disservice by displaying such unbrotherly behavior. THey think they are helping the Alpha's by wanting to get rid of gays, when in fact by making such statements they are showing themselves to be narrrow-minded, prejudiced fools that do nothing but hurt your brotherhood.

It aint worth your energy to worry about. Continue to live your life in a way that shows how awesome and cool gay people are. The battle of equality is fought one person at a time. Remember things in the grander sense of history. What horrible things others before you had to endure in the name of acceptance and equality; fire hoses, spitting, beatings. A few hateful words on a messageboard are nothing.

We got your back and you are welcome here.

First off Phrat,

As a lady of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. I have YET to care what your sexual preferences are. As long as you are open and honest about who you love and do it safely with as much spirituality as heterosexual couples do it...

Secondly, I love your Fraternity because most of the men in my family, from my Grandfather, my father, and my brother are all Alpha men... AND I also know of SOME Alpha men that took care of me when I was child that were gay Black men--back in the day, that one would NEVER speak of such actions...

So for you to point out how you choose to live your life out in the open, I applaud you...

And, as my sorors and I agree, that we had to shut some stuff down on AKA Ave recently, I do think it is rather inappropriate to point out what your homophobic Alpha brothers say to you on a public forum such as GC... For me, it is not so much what you said, it is how you said it with profane language...

I agree with you, Alpha and many OTHER historically BGLO's really need not be all hateful and display their homophobia by condemning your choice to live publically... To me it calls into question what are THEIR real skeletons are in their closet...

And I do think you could have said it differently... I know this makes you angry and anger will be ineffective to reaching out to those who have repressed idealogies of gender roles... It goes the same for when we have to argue against racists... Bigots come in any form...

As far as what your fraternity brother said to you, let him be honest and post what he is soooooooooo afraid of from "allowing" a gay man to sing the Alpha Hymn next to him when that gay man is the President of his chapter and is helping African American young males go to college then to Alpha University... I would like to see that...

That to me is very unbrotherly when there is so much work that needs to be done for the impoverished and disenfranchised...

What I don't understand is how someone like PHA_Shriner, or whatever he calls himself, can be embraced by the same members who seem to be denouncing you. It just doesn't make sense to me.

I already PMd you, so you know how I feel about the whole thing.

ZTAngel, thank you very much for your kind words. I agree that accurate representations are developed through the time that you donate to your organization -- something no Brother of mine on this board can truly comprehend because they are not in my chapter. I appreciate your kindness.

mu_agd, thanks! I didn't realize you don't know any Alphas away from GC. I hope that the Alphas you meet in the future live up to the standard you feel that I've set. I think every Alpha is a great man -- so long as we try.

Peaches-n-Cream, you've always been great to me! I can't wait to hang out next time I'm in New York. Don't worry about things improving with me on the Alpha board -- As I said, I'm not going back, and I'm cool with that. For real!

OTW, first of all: \ooo/ :) Second of all, even though I was hella upset when I wrote everything I did, I always knew that there would be some idiots (as there are in every organization) who wouldn't accept me for who I am. I, too, hope that they change -- but I'm not holding my breath.

greeklawgirl, the coincidental thing is that I JUST told somebody else that saying last week! It's so true...sooo true.

KSig RC, you are gangsta. :) I appreciate your sentiments, for real.

BetteDavisEyes, BASICALLY. I really do appreciate that. "I agree" is a vast understatement.

GP, thank you soooo much. I am glad you brought up APO. Going back to my home chapter for initiation twice a year really makes me proud of BOTH my decisions. And I don't know if you remember that I had a gay APO brother who was murdered in NYC last year, but I've been thinking a lot about him. I miss him a lot, but I am glad that he and I pledged a chapter (and fraternity) that accepted us just as we were.

OTW again.....you are so silly. Do you think my hotness intimidates them?

Jocelyn, thank YOU for that. It's the simple things....brotherhood....so many people aren't ready for that. A simple concept to comprehend, a difficult concept to LIVE.

tinydancer, thank you!!! Truth be told, grinning and ignoring it worked for a while, but you reach a point where you just SNAP and then everything goes back to normal again.

SisterHavana -- someone who LIVES Brotherhood -- thank you so much, not only for what you said here, but how you live your life -- you've really been there for me in countless ways.

DeltAlum, thank you. I'm just trying to be like you! :)

RACooper....now now....you know I was with you up until the "trash" thing. But all in all, you know we're on the same page. And heck....I can't really call someone my brother if they won't tell me when and where they were initiated, now can I?

ariesrising, thank you for your words....you know I've always loved what you do to further Greek unity across the board! Stilll loving the website. :)

angelove, thanks...silly. More male GCers need to think I am a hottie so I can have a date. :( LOL

Lady Pi Phi, thanks! I've been repeating that to myself all day.

chideltjen, I appreciate everything you said. Just to respond: sadly, I think some people would shun their blood relatives just as much as I've been. Homophobia is rough.

Tippiechick, awwwww thank you so much. I'm sorry this is how you found out. It's like I was telling somebody last week, "coming out" is never one single event. If you life a relatively normal life, you're always coming out to somebody out there who didn't know. But anyway, thanks again. :)


sugar and spice, okay, so by the time I got to your post, I started getting the misty eyes. You really hit the nail on the head -- it doesn't matter how much service you do if you don't know how to be a brother.

Munchkin03, preach preach preach! You know (on a sidenote) there was a conference on black masculinity in NY a couple months back. It seemed interesting, but at the time I wondered how on earth it could be useful. But now I see. Anyway, yeah...there are a lot of issues we need to address within the community. I really think the legacy of slavery in this country has a little to do with how we view black masculinity, but that's a whole nother thread.

lifesaver, I agree with you wholeheartedly. I appreciate everything and I am very lucky/blessed to have people like you on GreekChat and plenty of Alphas and friends in real life. It's not so much that these ignorant few truly hurt me or somehow inhibit my growth as an individual....its just that you get SICK of it, you know? It's like damn, I only have two cheeks to turn! (Or four, depending how you look at it. lol)


AKA_Monet, thank you for your kindness. The Alphas on GreekChat on the whole have chosen to ignore the issue when they are not telling me that I should have never been one. It's not all of them who are bashing me openly in PMs or blatantly on the boards, but there is tacit agreement from many of the rest. I am taking it to the public to end the taboo about the topic. I am a gay Alpha who is bashed by other Alphas and so long as I remain silent about it, it will keep happening. In terms of the profanity -- go through what I've been through and maybe you'd be profane, too. I won't apologize for the sentiments or the language. You thoughts are noted, however, and much appreciated.

KSigkid -- GO FIGURE, right???? If that's what it takes, let me never be embraced.

All in all, I didn't expect to recieve so much positivity from my post. I know you all don't normally see the "Kennedy Street" side of me, but he's there and will come out when pushed too far. I will acknowledge that I am under EXTREME stress to get Lazarus out on time, and it's moments like this where I really feel the alone-ness of self-publishing. I've got to deal with final proofreads, a cover designer who is in Japan and answers his phone when he feels like it, and waiting for checks to clear at the bank....lol....it's been crazy. So when I come to GC (for entertainment mind you!) I don't expect to receive messages of intolerance in my inbox.

So that's why I'm still taking the path that I mentioned in the first post. I'm not going to the Alpha forum and I'm not taking any PMs from Alphas. They all know how to get at me if they need to speak to me, but as far as GC goes, I've got nothing to say.

I am far too hot for the foolishness.

I thank you all for the love, for real. :D

Senusret I, in this single message you've reinforced every good thing I've ever thought about men of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc. I applaud your honesty and openness. See, I've always thought of Alpha men on a higher plane. Maybe I've just been blessed to know some truly progressive and openminded Alphas, but who can say for certain. Not to disparage other NPHC fraternities, but the thoughtfulness of Alpha men -- the ability to pause, reflect, and articulate strong ideas -- that always made them stand out in my mind. You've epitomized that in more ways than many other Alphas I know - save for Walter Kimbrough, but this thread ain't about him. :D

It's truly sad that some folks from your own d*mn family can't overlook their own prejudices to see that brotherhood should -- and does -- eclipse all. I'm not saying that we have to look the other way if faced with something we don't agree with, but dang, just agree to be BROTHERLY and accept the fact that this queer brother IS an Alpha, always will be an Alpha, and isn't going away. And I dare say that he -- and other queer folk in GLOS like him -- is representative of a greater issue, especially an issue that is coming to a head in African American communities. Folks can try to close their eyes and ears all they want, but lesbigay folks in GLO are integral members of all our communities, and we'd do well to hip ourselves to that fact and act accordingly.

Plus, you like Paul Beatty as much as I do. That gives you a bunch of extra cool points. ;)

I know that's right!!

Bull.

I could only hope to have half the strength you have and a tiny percentage of the class you show if I were in your shoes.

But thanks for the kind words. They are what we all have come to expect from you.

As someone else said, A Class Act.

Shoot, I might even go as far as saying I wish I was a cute dude. ;)

Rashid,

I'm so sorry that people have been mean to you because of what you prefer. Perhaps these so-called "fine men" need a bit of polishing up. I say ignore them and get on with it. "Obli di, Obli da" as they say...

Best of luck!

Cynthia

I don't know you all that well personally, but you are a member that I respect a great deal on these boards. You are honest, classy, and educated. In short, you're the shit!

Maybe I need to see a picture since we keep talking about all your hottness. :D ;)

Rashid,

If I could pick who would be the sub for my Pre-K darlings when I'm out, I'd pick YOU. And I betcha my kids would admire you as much as I do! We have a fair amount of Greeks at our school, and a fabulous one such as yourself would fit right in!

Michelle

Rashid, you KNOW you're my brother in L, F and S (espcially the F part). :) And I'm extremely proud of that. **hug**

astroaphi, I think there is a pic in the "Look At Me" thread in the Delta Sigma Theta forum.

"It's not who you love. It's how."

From what I can see from your persona on GC, you are an amazing person who has done far more to promote your fraternity than the ones who are degrading you for your preferences.

Keep your head up.

Rashid,

Keep on staying true to yourself and forget about those haters. It's unfortunate that the very people who are supposed to have your back - don't. You make me proud to be an APhiO. I hope you know that we are by your side! *Hugs*

What a great quote. :)

Keep on fighting the good fight R. Just remember this quote:

hey rashid,

keep doing what you are doing and that's making a difference. those that chose you to become a member in the first black fraternity thought that you could make a difference and you are making that difference.

you exemplifiy the perfect Alpha Man and if i wasn't a lesbian, perhaps....

:p

great locs think alike....

I definitely echo these sentiments! :)

I wouldn't doubt it. Shit, you intimidate even ME with your hotness.