Is He Gay????
 

Ok, ladies, I need your help. First, I realize that this post has nothing to do with fraternity/sorority life, but I'm desperate for some unbiased opinions on this subject. I hope it is not deleted. Anyway, a few months ago, I met this guy at work (let's call him John) and we became friends. We sit together and go to lunch together every day. Now, when I first met him, my gaydar told me he was gay, but after a month or so, he told me he had a girlfriend. He also said that all his life, people, including his father, had thought that he was gay. In fact, even before we met and started hanging out, everyone at work thought he was gay. The only thing in my closet is a fabulous wardrobe. Everyone at work thinks that we are a couple and he does not dispute this to them.

He takes me home every friday nite and stays until 3am, although nothing has happened between us. He has slept over here numerous times, in the spare room. One time he told me that my a*s was flat, and I took his hand and put it on my a*s to prove him wrong. He didn't react negatively.

He broke up with his girlfriend after she demanded that he choose between her and his friendship with me.

His best friend is gay and he says that all his life, he's always had gay friends and they always fall in love with him. By the way, I'm falling in love with him!!! He hurt his shoulder working out and I massaged not only his neck/shoulders, but his whole back, during which he felt my "you know what" against his a*s. (I was sitting on his a*s). His only reaction was to say "I felt something sticking me. You're not getting turned on, are you?"

So, while my gaydar is 100% in tune, I'm beginning to get a little confused. On the phone he kinda treats me like we're at the very least, dating, but in person, acts like we're just friends.

So, to make a long story short (too late), HELP ME ladies. 1) Is he gay? 2) What should I do?. I really have strong feelings for this guy, but I'm not sure if I'm willing to wait for him to "find" himself. I would also appreciate the opinions of the open-minded, heterosexual males out there. Thanks.

It's been almost 3 years since you have posted...

I guess Welcome Back is in order. :confused:

Yes. Yes he is very gay and just doesn't know it yet.

Are you a man or a woman?

Find the first post made...

Re: Is He Gay????
 

That should have been the end of it.

I dont know one str8 man that would allow a gay man to sit on his a$$ and massage his back.


he's gay

Re: Is He Gay????
 

Okay...If you even have to QUESTION a mans sexual preference, the only thing that YOU need to do is KEEP IT MOVIN'!!! Unless of coarse you don't mind risking your health/life over a piece of sexually confused d***. I'm sorry for being so blunt, but there are far too many people who are being deceived and end up dying from AIDS because they were with a man who was on the fence sexually. For you to have all the signs ahead of time you would be CRAZY to put yourself in that situation. Keep him as a friend, but it wouldn't be smart to become physically involved with him.

Re: Re: Is He Gay????
 

SkeeWee14, DphiU is a guy.

Re: Re: Re: Is He Gay????
 

What in the...? But why is he...? Aw, nevermind!

It wasn't until the fourth paragraph that I realized that DPhiU was male. I had to go back and re-read it in that context.

DPhiU, you would know better than us if he is gay. My guess is yes, and he's playing games.

Is He Gay???
 

Yes, the man you are questioning is gay as the day is long.

Me too!

But, yes. He's gay.

1. The person who posted this topic is NOT a soror.
2. Please introduce yourself to the board in the "New Sorors" thread at the top of this forum.

Thanx.

Oops,

Thanks, I mistakenly said soror with Aka on my mind. I tried to delete it, not successfully. Ok, I'll look into introducing myself. Glad to see someone is online at the same time.

ol boy is 'mo like sunshine.

Me three.

I guess I assumed he was a female because this is a sorority page, but...

Long story, short...he gay. As was stated, I don't know any str8 men who would do any of the above you mentioned, most obvious being allow a man to massage their anything, mush less while straddling them...we won't even mention the erection. What I would be more concerned about is how long he's been in the closet, how many men he's had sex with (because he has) and whether his g-friend has put herself at risk.

RE: Is he gay?
 

Thank you ladies for your unbiased, honest opinions. AKA2D '91, yes it has been quite a while since I last posted. Good to know that I have not been forgotten. Thank you for not deleting my post. I now live in Barbados, so my life is devoid of any fraternal activity.

I guess I should have stated that I am a male. Good to see that I'm not losing my gaydar as I get older. I too suspect that he is very gay, but he is afraid to accept that fact. After all, we live in the caribbean, where life/culture is not as progressive as it is in the States. He has always dated women and I suspect that is because that is what was expected of him. It's kinda funny that everyone thinks that he is gay, except HIM. Even my mom thought that there was something between us when she came to visit. But like I said, there has never been anything directly sexual.

This guy is a psychologist's dream. He's so deep in denial and full of contradictions and as a psychology major, I find him to be an interesting study. Having been in the States my whole life, it's hard for me to understand why or how anyone could be so afraid of being who they are. But then again, it's a different culture here. I wish people like him came with a little switch that you could just flip and presto....

Although I am into psychology, I tend to follow my heart more often than my head, and my heart is leading me to him. I think I'll stick it out and see where it leads.

Again ladies, thank you for your gracious replies. Keep 'em coming. You have again shown me that I am right in telling my sister that the day she pledges DST is the day I drop dead!!! NO DISRESPECT for DST, but hey, AKA is the way.

I forgot you. I saw you had "2" posts. Therefore, I searched your other topic and found that you posted back in '02.

Re: RE: Is he gay?
 

-------------------------------------------->:confused:

Re: Re: RE: Is he gay?
 

You took the words right out of my mouth..like..yea..Wow

WTF is going on here??????

I am a straight male and I think both you guys are si..ys.

It burns me up to see us black men as having to prove our sexuality. It seems like we automatically have to prove ourselves or fight off suspicion. Like one woman posted on another thread "Treat them as gay until proven straight", what is that about!!!

I think all the media hype and urband legend about gay and DL brothers have burned an imagine into womens minds. Its just another stereotype of the black male that we have to fight. I do acknowledge the fact that there is a population of black men where those behavios exist. And that the rise in HIV/AIDS in black women is an issue. However, it is not fair to have prejudices against black men because of all of the stories that your "girlfriends" have told.

So speaking on behalf of straight brothers in regards to this topic: It seems that you are very gay. If this guy was straight, he would have never even hung out with you to the point where people would have thought that the two of you were "together". You guys would have gone to lunch sometimes but thats it.

Here is a general rule: No straight guy will ever hang out with a gay guy so much that people will tend to think they are together. Our mindset is we can kick it as co-workers, but "keep it movin...shauty!"

Re: Re: Re: RE: Is he gay?
 

Me too. What gets me more is the fact the DPU feels that everyone is so open here as opposed to the caribbean. I am sure it's worse, but this country is far from being a [Black] man's gay haven where they can be out and not stigmatized and ostracized, etc. But then again, I'm just a Soror of DST, so I guess I'd betta keep my mouth shut and opinions to myself. Continue...

Oh, BTW, KT Nupe, your sentiments are exactly what a lot of women said but not quite as clearly. Ain't no way a str8 brothah is going to hang hella tough with a gay man to the point of questioning. Heck, many not at all. I don't think, however, this is indicative of the DL phenomenon. Especially since this man is in another country and therefore, up against a whole other cultural norm. Not that it wouldn't "fit" that description but the last thing I thought was "he's on the DL." I guess part of the reason was that it took me a while to realize DPU was a man. Then when I realized it, I wanted to hit on the risk factor for the woman (she is at risk, like it or not) but not to harp on the DL thing. Matter of fact, I don't recall anyone going into DL zone. I may be wrong, though.

His best friend is gay and he says that all his life, he's always had gay friends and they always fall in love with him. By the way, I'm falling in love with him!!! He hurt his shoulder working out and I massaged not only his neck/shoulders, but his whole back, during which he felt my "you know what" against his a*s. (I was sitting on his a*s). His only reaction was to say "I felt something sticking me. You're not getting turned on, are you?"


Well?? Were you??? Because as someone previously posted, what straight man would let you sit on his booty and massage his neck, back and shoulders......and what straight man would want to do that to another man??? I mean I'm just askin'an errythang!
:o

RIGHTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Once again--------------------------------->Over here :confused:

DPU,

From a tantra prespective, you must support your travels in the Universe. You are only interested in his lower Chakras that fail to access the heart Chakra, much less the above...

Your friend may or may not be gay. Who is to say but him. And to ask women who are physically incapable to reach the truest depths of his tantric power would be difficult for us to acertain...

However, whatever you all do, be protected and care with the utmost of Love that transcends thoughts...

That is what Divine Love asks us to do, through expansion...

^^ That sounded so cool! Going to google "tantra".----------->
:D

I have to admit, before I figured out the poster was a guy, I racked my brain trying to figure out how he felt something sticking out of her. :eek:

I've been lots of women, but thats a new one on me. I thought, "man he got you so hot he made your c#$% pop out!" "How can I get a woman that hot?" :)

QUOTE]Our mindset is we can kick it as co-workers, but "keep it movin...shauty!"[/QUOTE]

lol.

Re: Re: Re: Is He Gay????
 

OH MY WORD!!! :eek: I have to go back and read in slow motion :D .
Guy or not...I still feel that gay is gay. There's no two ways about it. If the dude he (DphiU) is interested in is claiming not to be gay, but all the signs are saying that he is, than I feel like DphiU need to keep it moving and find someone who is not "sexually confused". Just think about it, if "Mr. Denial" is playing in two yards at once, that just increase the possibility of him catching something from somebody and spreading it on both sides of the fence. That's just wayyyyyyyy too risky. DphiU should just move on and find somebody who is not ashamed to be who/what they are.

is he gay?
 

I know, lol, that "keep it movin' shauty" had me cracking up too.
DPhiU, you got alot of us stumped and surprised with the fact that you are a male. I did not know either even when I read the sticking thing. I thought you meant p---c hairs or something, not to get too crass. I could not figure that out either. Maybe because this is a sorority page, I don't know...anyway, just be careful, try to get yourself straight too.

Re: is he gay?
 

I am :confused: about what this means. The "sticking" part had me confused, too and I actually thought the same thing you did or like Nupe, that "she" was real "sticky" not something "sticking."

is he gay?
 

Deltabrat,

I know. DPhiU's letter was just too much. That was book material. I'm still thinking about it. It was just "off the chain".

Are you serious????!!!!:rolleyes:

She's probably of the belief that people can choose the sex they are attracted to if they really want. To each his own I guess. I personally believe that you are homo/hetero when you are born. But that's just me;)

Here is a general rule: No straight guy will ever hang out with a gay guy so much that people will tend to think they are together. Our mindset is we can kick it as co-workers, but "keep it movin...shauty!" [/B][/QUOTE]

That's exactly what I was thinking - - -

My bottom lip is still on the floor. The dude had me oh so fooled!