Giving it up.
 

I've been thinking about a common philosophy among girls...

I've heard it I don't even know how many times, but I just don't understand it. At all.

Why is it that when a girl doesn't like a guy that much she will sleep with him sooner than with a guy she really likes?

That just seems totally ass backwards to me.

?????? Why become intimate with someone you don't like??????

It's not that they don't like them...there is a physical attraction but nothing more than that.

Guys do the same exact thing. Why is that?

Yea, but thats normal for guys. Thats just how it is.

Re: Giving it up.
 

Lots of girls want to enjoy one-time flings or occasional sex with men they don't really know or like. But when it comes to having sex with someone you really do like you don't want to have sex with them for the wrong reasons. You want to wait & make sure that they like you just as much before you do anything that could make your relationship more complicated.

For me-having sex with someone that I don't plan on having a relationship with is just having sex. But having sex with someone that I really want to be with means so much more, because its one of the ways I can show that person affection. And in that case I want to be sure of how I really feel, and how he really feels, before we share that together.

That's just how it is with us, too. What's good for the gander is good for the goose. Accept it.

I think if you dont like the person on that level its easier for feelings to not get as much involved.

However, when you actually want something to become of things, feelings are usually already there so if you sleep with them and they dont want a relationship, feelings get hurt.

Ok girl is really sexually active, she has slept with lots of guys casually (which is cool) but suddenly she likes someone a lot so she makes him wait (not cool for the guy).

If you read socio-biologists they claim that its a nesting instinct.

The girl is willing to form quick sexual liaison with someone she doesn't see relationship potential, but when she sees someone that she sees a future with, she waits sexually which forces the male to to invest more time and resources into the relationship.

I think most people realize unconsciously that the more a guy has to invest in the relationship before the "award", sex, the longer he will stay around .. . to a degree.

Also, the increases sexual tension caused by waiting makes the male fixate on the female . . . in other words he thinks about her a lot more.

Personally, I don't find that promiscious girls that turn it into a waiting game just because they see potential with you are very credible.

Re: Giving it up.
 

It's backwards and stupid. I've never done that.

Re: Giving it up.
 

It is backwards. If I don't like a guy that much, I don't let him anywhere near my bed, or get anywhere near his.

I guess what crz and James said does make sense in a twisted sort of way...

i don't see how it's twisted, just because a girl needs a guy to just give it to her to satisfy an urge. Physical attraction has nothing to do with liking someone. You just have sex for fun sometimes.

Is the air the same on your planet ;) ? Physial attraction is a/the prime component of liking someone romantically.

For me, if I like someone I try to tumble them into my bed ASAP. If I don't like them I try to avoid it on the hopes something better will come along.

No no no. It makes sense to jump into bed with a guy you don't really dig if that's what you feel like doing. But it does NOT make sense to make a guy wait because you dig him. That's the stupid part.

Haha. Maybe you have to have made this mistake first ;) before understanding the "once bitten, twice shy" mentality of being scared to jump into bed too quickly with a guy you're crazy about.

In my experiece, two seperate times I have slept with a guy I really really liked within the first couple dates, one guy said immediately after that he had decided he didn't want a relationship (but yet we continued to be together for 6 mnths) and the other guy decided that our relationship would just be all about sex.
I have been told to hold out on guys for awhile, that way they'll respect you and you'll seem more like the kind of girl they want to have a relationship with.

LOL, I've never considered it a mistake. ;)

Seriously, if a guy is the type to judge a woman for jumping into bed "too quickly," he's not a guy for me anyway.

Re: Giving it up.
 

Why? Did you just get played? :D

I'm sorry, you kind of walked into that one... ;)

Where's Cashmoney when you need him??? :rolleyes:

No really, what James says is probably correct... Many women have low self esteem when they immediately sleep with a guy they don't like... It's kind of like, well, if it doesn't work out between guy and me, then I won't feel so bad because I never liked him in the first place... Rather counterproductive... But that's female logic for you...

I've just heard this so many times.

Hell, I may have been played, I don't know. Hopefully I was on the "I don't like this guy much, so I'll just have sex with him" rather than the other side. At least I got something out of it.

Okay, I can understand the why you need the physical stimulation...

But what I am unclear on is why do you CARE if homegirl "uses" you for a "tool"?

I guess my question is, I thought most guys are down for the "tool" properties when girls are cool with the "no strings attached" rule in effect...

More to the point, why don't you slow your roll if don't want to sleep with a girl that is using you for sexual purposes only?

Hey, I don't care if you don't want to, I am just asking for the logic behind it...

I'm not saying I care one way or the other, I just wanted to know the logic behind it.

So do you or don't you understand the logic behind why a girl will readily sleep with a man she doesn't like versus a man she does like? Yes or no would suffice...

I judge women by how often they return to the bed after the first jump. The longer the time between sessions, the lower the score...

Re: Giving it up.
 

You've got to either be really young or really stupid. First off, girls run off of emotions unless they're really fucked up in the head. By being really fucked up in the head I mean they've been burnt so bad by so many dudes in the past that they're incapable of acting and responding like a normal female (thats only if you believe there are normal females out there, still).

If a girl really likes a guy, she's reluctant to sleep with him because she knows her feelings and she knows she'll get attached easily to him. Kind of like opening herself up to get hurt, and most chicks have been burnt at least once or twice in their lives by a dude. Either that or she's really attracted to him because of his hotness and thinks he might be a little dirty.....this usually applies to me since I'm a dick and very few women like me because they think I'm nice. If I'm nice its usually because I wanna stick the girl.

When a girl doesnt like the guy and hasnt had sex in awhile, she's down for it because she knows its not going to go anywhere on her end. Usually women get emotionally attached to a guy they like before they fuck them where as most men get emtionally attached to a girl after/during/while they are fucking the girl. Things start going wrong when some guy starts having feelings for a girl after fucking her for a good minute while the girl doesnt really like him. The female knows she came into it strictly for sex while the guy started off with the same like mindness but ended up having feelings for the girl.....this guy is usually known as a bitchass or sellout.


i gotta get back to work but i'll finish up when i have time.

Cashmoney

Re: Re: Giving it up.
 

Ok, I'm going to have to agree with Cashmoney on this one.

There is absolutely no logic to why girls do this. I'll admit it, I'm guilty of behaving like this.

Some girls won't sleep witj a guy she likes right away because she likes him and has gotten attached and is afraid of getting hurt. He logic is that she doesn't want to trhow her heart into something that isn't going to be returned and therefore she'll end up hurt.
But if she's not interested, in her mind she has nothing to lose.

Like I said, there no real logic behind this kind of thinking, but it does happen.

Am I the only who doesn't get why a girl would sleep with a guy she doesn't like ?

nope.

But I think he's asking about degree. So, a girl could like someone and sleep with him on the 2nd date, but the boy she thinks is Mr Right she might wait 4 dates because she thinks he is Mr Right.