The "What If?" Sororities
 

There have been a lot of threads on where everyone preffed, but the one question I always had was the "what if" sorority.

Was there a sorority whose pref party - or earlier - you didn't attend, and later wondered if you should have do so?

Obviously, this is for women whose system had more than 2-3 sororities.

There were several "what if" sororities for me. Stupidly, I cut a ton of sororities after first parties because I was sure I wanted to be a Pi Phi. And I'm glad I am one but I still can't believe that as a junior PNM, I just blithely cut all those groups--who knows what friends I could've made? And what if Pi Phi had cut me? :eek:

I also turned down a COB bid my sophomore year. Who knows what might have come from that?

I did the same thing after the first round - I wanted ADP or KKG, and didn't realize that I may be cut from either(I was a freshman, btw)! If I had to do it all over again, I would have given two others (KAQ & DZ) a better look. Both were stellar sororities (DZ still is!), and had invited me back.

I also made my decision based mostly on the seniors, who of course were gone by the next year. I think that's when I started to wonder, "what if...?" But in the end, I was meant to be an ADPi - as has been said, my blood runs azure blue & white!

what if I hadn't filled out my pref card even though I got cut before final round?

what if I had been invited to TEM or Kappa Phi Omega for final party and felt i needed to sign them?

what if TD hadn't wanted to bid me?

what if I hadn't accepted TD's bid because I was offended ?

But I'm damn glad I did accept and I love my sisters. You know your in the right sorority when your president farts in front of you on the first night of pledging.

I rarely thing about the "what if?" questions because I am so happy at Pi Phi, but I guess there are a couple.

- What if I had gone to the KKG pref party instead of turning down their invitation? Would I have signed there?

- What if I hadn't intentionally single preferenced ("suicided") Pi Phi? I went to the AXD pref party and decided that it wasn't for me, but what if I had put them second on my list?

This isn't really a pref story, but I'm going to post it anyway...

When I was in undergraduate school, I went through rush. At the time the system wasn't integrated, and I was dropped from 4 of the 5 houses on campus. I was getting ready to go back to the one house that invited me back when a "friend" of mine told me that the only reason the chapter invited me back was because they lost the picture that was attached to my application, and didn't think it would be fair to cut me. It hurt hearing that, so I decided to drop completely out of recruitment. I wondered for YEARS what might have happened if I'd decided to stick it out - what if I had gone through it? What if I'd been given a bid to that chapter? What if I'd been initiated in college instead of as an alumna?

Years later when I was going through alumnae initiation, I contacted the Vancouver alumnae chapter of this organization. Almost 15 years had gone by since my disastrous rush, but I still had lots of love for this organization. I agonized over my decision, but ultimately I chose Alpha Phi (and Alpha Phi chose me). I now know without a doubt that I'm exactly where I belong, but from time to time, I still wonder "What if I'd become an AOII?"

My "what if" is more general - in that "what if I'd gone through formal recruitment as a freshman?" Would I have wound up joining the same sorority that all my friends from freshman year wound up joining by the end of our first semester of sophomore year?

While I still have a great respect and love for that organization (considering I had gone into formal recruitment as a sophomore hoping I'd be a member by the end of the week), I now know that ADPi was the only place for me to be, and the only place that I feel that I would have grown into the person I am today, versus who I'd be if I was a member of any other organization.

My only "what if" was pretty big: what if I had been able to go through formal recruitment? Would I still have been an AOII? I certainly hope so, but will never know. Luckily, I have no regrets about the choices I made as a blissfully young 17 year old girl.

My main "what if" is "what if" i would've rushed spring of my freshman year instead of fall of my sophomore year. I had seen flyers for KD informal recruitment but was a little shy about just randomly calling up and saying hey, I wanna come!

I guess I also wonder what if I didn't get a bid to KD... there really wasn't any other houses that I could see myself in when I went through recruitment.

But I do wonder how I could've changed some of those houses. Heck, I briefly entertained the idea of joining Kappa Alpha Theta (who ended up closing later on in the semester after my fall rush) and rebuilding it. Even the other house that I preffed, I really don't think I could've been a sister there... and seeing how that house has been since then, I'm glad that I didn't.

I think I also wonder what if instead of having the f'ed up formal/informal hybrid (open parties, come and go as you pleased, no cuts until pref invites were handed out), how I would've fared had we done the formal structured recruitment that they do now with cuts every round.

What if I hadn't dropped out of formal rush before pref?

Out of 4 NPC sororities on campus at the time, I'd gone back to two for second round. I came out of that round interested in being part of a sisterhood, but not really feeling that either of those two sororities (or, for that matter, either of the other two) was quite the right fit for me. So I dropped out, never picking up my pref invites.

The following week, I rushed the only local sorority on campus, and found my home. :)

It's for the best. I have great sisters. :) Plus, one of the two sororities I'd gone back to had fully half of their pledge class from my year deaffiliate before graduation.

My what ifs are- What if I had gone to ASTs pref? I was given a snap bid, but I often wonder if I had gone to ASTs pref., how I would have ranked the other two and if I would have put AST on my pref. card (which I didn't)?

Also, wonder what would have happen had I gone through with a more open mind, and not let my roommate and friends influence my opinions on the sororities.

But I am happy where I am, but there will always be what ifs..

My huge non-pref what if, is What if I hadn't depinned? How would things be different? Would I value AST as much as I do now, since I have been reinstated as a sister.

My what-if is slightly different.

What if I had joined the other local sorority on campus that I really liked (even better than the one I ended up joining!)? I actually would have been happier. But if I had joined that sorority I would not have found AOII because I could have been a more active alum (and just kept in touch with sisters) and would have not pursued AI.

Things definitely work out for a reason and I'm SO happy to have AOII!!

As a side note to the rushing at my undergrad school, back in the day it wasn't really formal rush - more of a COB-formal hybrid (you had rounds but no cutting so you had to go to all 4 groups). First semester freshmen can go through rush but they can not pledge. Basically this allows freshmen to meet the groups. 2nd semester freshmen can pledge. The group I really liked didn't give me a bid second semester because they thought I was definitely going with what turned out to be the only sorority that gave me a bid. Moral of the story - don't make up someone's mind for them - if you like them and want them to be a sister, give them a bid! :)

My big "what ifs" are from freshman year. I received a bid from Alpha Xi Delta, but I knew in my heart it wasn't my home. I'd fallen in love with two other sororities on my campus, and I was sad. I also wonder what would've been different had I been a founder or my sorority instead of in the first new member class... if I would have been friends with different people, if my family would have been different. I knew Alpha Chi was my home, though. I'd researched all over the internet, and when I heard they were presenting at my school, I was so excited for them to come. Something about Alpha Chi just seemed right to me. Basically, I have LOTS of what-ifs but no regrets :)

What if I had gone to University of Texas like I was supposed to, (instead of choosing Radford because of my boyfriend)? Would I have rushed? Would I have gotten a bid? If not, how would that have changed who I am now?

-What if I'd gone to USA? Would I have gotten into my mom's chapter there?

-What if I'd gone to 'Bama? Where would I have been given a bid to?

-What if I'd suicided Kappa or AZD? Would I have still gotten a bid?

-What if I'd taken my cousin's suggestions that I go to some of his fraternity's parties the summer before I rushed? Would I have been in a different sorority because of who I met there?

-Who cares, as long as you're happy where you are?

What if I had listened to myself the first semester of college? I went through Fall Parties in November and ADPi was my last choice out of 9 sororities. My roomie was an in house CHi O legacy and her sister wanted us both. Well, I was less than happy with my grades so I did not return for spring recruitment. A few weeks later ADPi held some open recruitment parties that my roomie convinced me to go to. Reluctantly I did........and I fell in love with it. It was perfect for me.

What if I'd gone to my backup school, University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign? Would I have rushed? Would I have been an Alpha Phi? Several girls I knew from high school ended up joining Alpha Phi at our Beta Alpha chapter.

What if I hadn't joined any sorority and decided to help form the third sorority (local)? I was friends with a lot of the girls and they're colonizing as Phi Sigma Sigma on my campus now. But now I do look back and realize I fit better with Alpha Phi than I do with them.

What if I'd purposely cut Alpha Phi in my mind because my roommate (who I didn't like at all) wanted them so badly? Gamma Phi Beta wanted me pretty badly, but in the end I realized that I'd just have to put up with my roommate as a sister (and now we're actually friends).

My what ifs:

What if I had gone to one of the other universities I got into, would I have even considered greek life? I honestly doubt I would have. I knew more people at those schools already and I don't think I would have looked at greek life in terms of trying to meet people.

What if I had gone through formal recruitment instead of COR? I think I would have ended up still ADPi or I would have tried to go where ever my roomie was going.

I am happy though with the way things worked out. Especially since I don't think I would have been as happy at the other schools I got into... and my roomie ended up dropping the sorority she got into... And looking at that chapter I would not have been happy later on there.

ADPi was always a really good fit.

I didn't rush at UT because I was in Longhorn Band my freshman year (saxophone so not a complete band nerd ;)

My freshman Liberal Arts Honors advisor told me, "Don't worry, you can do both... I'm sure...."

I believed him because he acted like he knew what was going on, but he didn't really know what he was talking about. After coming early for band tryouts and making it, your life is consumed with band practices and football games --- no time for Formal Recruitment especially since UT recruitment is fairly long and takes up entire days.

And I wasn't one of those that was against Greek Life and "got turned around" and then saw the value of them. When I got the Greek Life brochure in the mail that summer I poured over it looking at all the facts and pictures, thinking, "This is what I want to do." I just also wanted to be in band since it had been a big part of my life and I was fairly good at it.

So in the Spring when girls in my dorm that were Alpha Phis that I had been hanging out with all semester were having a party at the house and invited me, I knew I had to go. I got a bid at my second party and didn't think twice about accepting (each party was several hours long - fun events like karaoke at a bar and a carnival at the house - so lots of time to get to know everyone) :)

I definitely wonder what would have happened if a small town girl with no legacies or recommendations had gone through Formal Recruitment at UT. But I found the place where I could learn and grow and be a leader, and I am not sure if any other organization could have done that at the time.

Later I found out that my orientaion roommate was an SDT and we got reaquainted after I joined APhi. My best friend in Longhorn Band that year ended up transfering to UHouston and joining Alpha Chi Omega. She was nearly an APhi with me at UT, and I nearly transfered with her to Houston.

So many possibilities, but no regrets.

-What if I had rushed during my freshman year instead of my sophomore year? Would I have gotten a bid?

-What if my grades had been higher sophomore year? (I got cut from a lot of places after first round for grades...the minimum GPA for most of the houses was a lot higher than the minimum GPA to rush)

-What if I hadn't dropped out and decided to keep checking out the houses I had remaining? Granted, both of them closed before I left the first time around, but had I gotten a bid, could I have made a difference and helped them stay around?

-If I had joined a sorority at IU, would I have rushed APO?

-What if I'd found out about APO earlier and joined before my junior year?

what if
 

My only "what if" is....

what if i would have studied better first semester when i was a freshman (we had deferred recruitment) and was able to participate in recruitment then. Would my sister's sorority have cut me then too? If so i couldn't have joined my colony and become a founding sister

What if I had gone to Dalhousie or the University of Western Ontario instead of Queen's? Would I have been a collegian member of Alpha Gam?

That's my "what if" too. After the first informational session, there was never any question in my mind about being a Kappa. I just wonder if I'd be one if I'd gone to Duke or Vanderbilt instead.

And I can't even imagine where I'd be in my life right now if I'd selected one of the colleges without Greek systems that I'd applied to!

Wow, I have a lot of "what ifs":

What if:
-I'd gone through rush my freshman year at WVU? My roommate went thru and went Pi Phi. Would I have stayed at WVU instead of transferring?
-I'd gone through pledging my sophomore year at D&E with ZTA?
-I'd put ZTA on my pref. card instead of suiciding Phi Mu my senior year? I didn't receive a bid on bid night, but received bids from both the next day.
-I'd accepted the bid from ZTA my senior year instead of the one from Phi Mu?
-I'd gone through pledging my senior year at D&E with Phi Mu?

I did pledge APO my freshman year at D&E (after learning about the org. at WVU). I would not change that decision for the world!

I also have no "what ifs" about my decision to join Beta Sigma Phi!

It's interesting to think about the "what ifs", but then I think about what I would have missed if any of those senarios had happened... I have to say that I really think things have worked out the way they were supposed to so far!

I've had so many "what if" moments in my life in regards to greek life

-- what if I had better grades than I did, would I have not been cut so hard?

-- what if AGD or SK had kept me for prefs, would they have offered me a bid?

-- what if I had gone to interview with colonizing SDT, would I have been chosen?

The org I did choose was such a great place and was prefect for about 6 weeks, then it went to hell, but that is another thread on GC.


But this is also sounds like regret to me and I have decided that I will no longer regret ANY decisions that I've made it my life, it has made me the person that I am today and I really like who I am now.

I never had a "what if" sorority. Alpha Xi Delta was the only sorority for me.

I'm new...
 

I've been reading posts on Greek Chat for over 4 years, and have finally decided to register and post because I think about the "what if" sororities a lot. A brief background on me-I attended Vanderbilt University and just graduated in May 2004. Basically, I went through recruitment by freshman year and joined Delta Gamma...I later realized DG was just not for me (it's a wonderful organization, but I was just overburdened with school work and really felt like I did not join the sorority that fit me.) I disaffiliated Fall 2001 and have since wondered what might have been if I...

~Had written down AOPi or ADPi first on my bid card. I preffed DG, ADPi, and AOPi, and really like all 3. I listened to people say very negative things about ADPi and ignored my gut feelings that they were the organization for me (given my choices.) Or, AOPi could have been great, too, and I had many friends who were a part of that house.

~Had actually loosened up and went to parties my freshman year. I met very few people outside of those who lived on my hall or those in my classes. I really think if I would have gotten out and socialized more I would have had more choices during recruitment. My sophomore year I decided to let myself have fun and met a lot of people-it was too late, though!

~Had known just how serious recruitment is in the South. I had no idea I should have gotten recs...how was I supposed to know that the more elite sororities basically pick the pledges they want just a few weeks into school...also, the legacy thing isn't that important in the South (from what I've seen) unless your mom, sister, and/or grandma, was in the same sorority at the same school. My mom was an AChiO at a college in Indiana and she had me believing that I would automatically be invited to join at Vanderbilt-little did we know many of the girls who go through are legacies, and it really doesn't give you much of an edge!!!

~Had decided to attend another school I was considering: Hanover College, Indiana University, or DePaul University. Going to a school in the midwest would have been a completely different experience! I loved Vanderbilt, though, and wouldn't trade my four years there for the world. :)

Well, I'll eventually have to post my recruitment story, even though it happened over 4 years ago (I remember it well!) It's really good to know you all have thought about the "what if" sororities and what might have been...I know it's something I think about quite often.

what if I had gone to Bama instead of UNA.
- I would have gone through rush and
- what if ADPi would have cut me
- I didn't have great grades from high school

What if I had transferred to Bama after a year of UNA
- I was already an ADPi and I chose not to transfer but
- what if I had affiliated with the Bama chapter of ADPi
- I had a few friends that I met by visiting Bama a few weekends and most of them were ADPi's
- would I have had too much fun at Bama and not completed my degree as quickly as I did at UNA.


After meeting girls from so many different chapters and so many different universities I know that I fit in Alpha Delta Pi both as a collegian and as an alumnae but it is wierd to think of how different chapters would have taken me through recruitment differently. W H A T I F . . . . . . .

The ones I cut, I cut for a reason. Therefore, I don't do the "what if" thing.

That's EXACTLY what I was thinking as I read this. My "what if's" have more to do w/ choices in schools, missed opportunities, etc.

I guess my only "what if" in regard to sorority life would be "what if" I had rushed my freshman year instead of my sophomore year? But only b/c if I had rushed then, would it have been as obvious to me?

I have a few "what ifs":


- What if I had rushed my freshman year?

- What if I had continued with the rest of informal recruitment my sophomore year?

- What if I had accepted the bid I received? What would my sorority experience have been like?

- What if I had alum initiated with one of the two other sororities which invited me?


Hrm...I have a suspicion that, if I had continued with informal recruitment, I'd probably be a Delta Zeta right now. :)


.....Kelly :)

I'd like to know if AST gave me a bid. Not that I would have taken it over ASA, I'm just curious.

curious as to what my chapter had been like had I not been a member? I guess sorta wondering what my impact actually was... who else would've stepped up and done some of the stuff that I did

i have two "what ifs"

1. what if i went to penn state? would i have rushed?

2. what if i had not met so many wonderful phi mus the summer before my sophomore year? what if they hadn't been so awesome and didn't listen to my bf when he said "don't talk to her about being in a sorority or she will freak?" i wonder how the rest of my college experience would have been....

life would definately have been different.

I have three "what if's"...

What if I had rushed freshman year...

What if I had gone to the CW COB with the rest of the colorguard?

What if I hadn't cut CW soph. year because of a couple seniors I wasn't comfortable with?

* What if I had formally rushed my freshman year at MTSU instead of my sophomore year at Ole Miss?

* What if I had known I needed recs for all of the groups at Ole Miss? (The booklet said they were suggested.)

* What if I had not listened to friends from MTSU on what to wear to each round of Ole Miss' rush?

* What if I had not quit rush and COB'd?

* What if I had known about the killer B's when someone rushing me at one of the houses got me to talk about them?
(What do you do for fun? "Shopping"
What else do you do? "Hang out with friends"
Have you been to visit any fraternity houses? "Yes, my best friend is a SigEp."
Have you been out to any bars in Oxford? "Yes, my friend's sister took us to The Gin. She said it was where a lot of her sisters hang out. But, other than that, I haven't been out much."


I am pretty sure if I had rushed at MTSU I would either be an AOPi, ChiO, or ZTA. (I had COB offers to join ZTA during my freshman spring semester.)

Considering that every sorority member I came into contact with my freshman year at MTSU was a ZTA, that two of my good friends at MTSU were ZTAs that wanted me to be a ZTA there, and that I ended up COBing ZTA at Ole Miss, I am PRETTY sure that I was meant to wear the turquoise and steel gray.

Wow! I would say so!! :)

what if..........

-i had gone to the other school i was heavily looking at Albright College? ther is no ZTA there and very small. would i have even been in a sorority?

-i had lived in the dorms my freshman year? we had deferred recruitment so people went in with "biases". would my judgement have been clouded by stereotypes?

-i had trasferred to umbc like i was planning?

-i didn't have to go to work and miss the second night of philanthropy parties? who else would have invited me back had i gone and would i have ended up preffing the same 3 houses?

-what if i had put adpi first on my bid card (i was a bit torn after pref, but in the end i knew my heart was in zta)