Stupid, Crazy or Funny pick up lines
 

Whats the craziest pick up line that you have heard. This one guy recently told me that he liked the hair on my arms. WHAT!?!?!

I have no idea, I know a lot of men in the DC area like hairy women. Like hair on legs. He said he liked the way it laid on my arms.
This weekend this guy told me he was a popular DJ in this area and on the radio. The one problem with his story is that the DJ he was perping to be is a white guy.

I had a guy come up to me and say..."I'm gonna go kiss your father cuz he has truely created perfection!!!" After I stopped laughing (which was about 10 min. later)I asked him if he had taken his medication for the day.

A, Shawty what yo name eeya?

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! http://www.plaudersmilies.de/happy/roflmao.gif I think I've heard this one before. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

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S.H.A.D.E.
10-Lambda-SP00
Memphis Alumnae Chapter
Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.

Lady of DSTinction

"Both tears and sweat are salty, but they render a different result. Tears will get you sympathy; sweat will get you change."

this guy (a total stranger) came up to me one day and said, "you ready to go?" i looked at him like he was crazy and said, "go where?"
"i thought we were going to lunch?"
"i don't know you!"
"but i'm paying and i just want to get to know you"
i laughed and walked off. now my favorite response to the question, "can i get your number?" is when i tell them "one." they sit there looking confused and i explain, "i'm number one" and usually walk off.

and, another time, i met this guy and i had just gotten off my cell phone. my phone is one of those small samsung phones and he asked to see it, like a lot of people do. when he gave it back to me, he said, "i want you to call me." i said, because i didn't want it, "i don't have your number." "yes you do, i just put in your phone. and if you don't call me, i'm going to call you" what this brotha did was use my phone to call his cell phone, which was on vibrate, so he got my number and gave me his! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif that freaked me out and whenever he called, i was always "conveniently" busy. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif

See, now why did you make me laugh out loud. The hair on your arms...what is that about?



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...and like that I'm gone!!
KL

I was out this past weekend, and a guy with a two-way pager walks up to me and says "Was that you that just paged me?" I couldn't do anything but laugh because it was too funny http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

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"Mind ya own, stay true to ya own, be ya own."

Peace and God Bless
*Classy_Diva5*

[This message has been edited by Classy_Diva5 (edited August 06, 2001).]

The word of the day is "Legs". Lets go back to my place and spread the word.

Okay LMAO LMAO, pick up lines are so funny.

This guy at my summer job was so funny. He would always tell me how this line had 100% success rate until he met me that it http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif.

The line: I lost my number. Can I have yours? I LOL in his face but we were cool so he was not upset.

Now that is classic!!



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...and like that I'm gone!!
KL

Oooo stupid lines! Last week i was standing in the line at the club with some friends. And a guy walked up to my friend and said( I hope he was drunk) Didn't i see you today on that street. You drive a grey car right. no, A black car, umm well a white car. Cause i told myself Dayum she look good. We started walking when he was still guessing colors.

The other stupid line was the arby's drive thru guy. He asked if i wanted any sause. i said sure. So he said arby , horsey, me??

A man approached me at a club one night. (I was wearing a simple tank top and a pair of jeans, exposing my arms and shoulders, but not much else). His line was "I like that flesh!!!!!!!!!!)

Was that supposed to sound like a compliment?

I was in traffic and waiting at a stop light, two men pull up on the side of me, here is how the convo went:

man: Hey miss! Excuse me!

me: Yes?

man: Could you tell me the way...(he leans out the car, like he is getting ready to ask for some serious directions, I lean out to hear him better)

man: to your house?(big cheese)

Man I laughed so hard, I had to get out my car and give him a pound on da hand for that one, cause he got me good on that one! lol!

QTE

IMHO my pickup lines were a little more original. Some examples:

*Rain Man at the supermarket*
I see a fine sista, evaluate her mood and body language--if she appears "normal", I approach her with this line:

RM: Excuse me, can you tell me where I can find the frozen raccoon?
Sista: What?/Excuse me?
RM: Frozen raccoon. You know, the kind in the Swanson TV dinners?
Sista: *LOL* Are you kidding me?
RM: Naw, it's true. They just came out with them last month and from what I was told, it is delicious....

Note: This line will work primarily for a sista who is generally mellow, easygoing, and got a great sense of humor.

*Rain Man at the art gallery, seeing a sista looking at a painting*

RM: I'm sorry, but that artist is WACK!
Sista: How can you say that?
RM: 'Cause I got a 19-year-old brother who can sketch better than old dude there. *RM pulls out a charcoal sketch and shows it to Sista* They say my little brother is in the same league as Klee (prounounced CLAY).
Sista: *studying sketch* Someone is lying to your little brother. That sketch makes this painting here look like Rembrandt.
RM: *studying the two pieces of artwork and sighing* Y'know, you might be right. By the way....

Note: This lets a sista know that if nothing else, you have an appreciation for artwork, and possibly a sense of intellect. Whether or not your brother is actually in the same league as Klee may be another story altogether.

*Rain Man at the mall or on the street. He sees a sista carrying several shopping bags. He casually looks in another direction and bumps into her, knocking down the bags and spilling the contents*

RM: Oh, I am so sorry. I am just such a clumsy fool.
Sista: Oh, that's alright. It's OK.
RM: No, it's not. I am just so absentminded, out in Lada Land. Lemme help you with this *While putting her stuff in her bags, RM, slips in a small package with his business card attached. Another tag attached, reads: "To Jim, thanks for the help. Call me, we'll have lunch" When finished, RM gives one last apology, then quickly slips away*

Note: If Sista is honest, she will call the number on the card to arrange to give the package back to you. From there, it's holla time all the way.

One last one:
*Rain Man in the park getting a drink of water. He sees Sista alone walking down the path When Sista gets within "range", RM coughs and gasps uncontrollably*

Sista: Are you all right?
*RM responds with more coughing and gasping*
Sista: Are you okay?
RM: *coughing subsiding a bit* Yeah, I'm alright. Water went down the wrong pipe. Thank you though. It's not everyday that I get a Good Samaritan coming to my aid. You must be truly an angel sent from God.
Sista: *blushing* Thank you.
RM: No, really, tho'....

Note: Food can be substituted if no fountain is available. But be careful, though. Sista could panic and dial 911 on you, or a nearby cop or paramedic could come on the scene to your rescue and wreck your whole game.

Just to let you sistas know that some of us are original and not offensive.

RM

Okay, here's my most recent scenario, and by far it was the worst one I've heard yet..

I was walking home, reading Liar's Game (for the fifteenth hundred time), and this guy stops me and says
Him: "That look like it be a good book" (WTF! His English is "turrible")
Me: "It is."
Him: "What the title is?"
I show him the book cover
Him: "Yeah, that Eric Dicker man is the sh*t. I read Mocha In My Coffee last month"
Me: "It's Milk In My Coffee"
Him: "Same difference"
I begin to walk away because he is tapping my last sane nerve then suddenly I hear:
Him: "You need to give me your number"
Me: "For what? I don't think so"
Him: "So that we can converse on summa these otha books that I be readin about"
With that being said, I just kept walking http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/mad.gif

I swear some men need to take Pick-Up Lines and How to Approach and NOT Approach women 101! How is he going to tell me what I NEED to do? http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif

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"Mind ya own, stay true to ya own, be ya own."

Peace and God Bless
*Classy_Diva5*

[This message has been edited by Classy_Diva5 (edited August 08, 2001).]

ROFLMAO @ him. Poor thing. He read a book and now wants to have a book club. He needs to join a Grammar club while he is at it.

girl i will sprinkle hershey kisses on the ground where you walk and they would read i kiss the ground you walk on!!!

sequel #8
spr 01
sigma xi
ccu, myrtle beach, sc

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crimson and cream
and nine white pearls
there is nothing like
a Delta girl.....

A guy that I work with tells me all of the time that I have very "attractive eyebrows"... http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif

Can somebody tell me what that's all about??

[This message has been edited by ChaoticRed (edited August 10, 2001).]

ChaoticRed, he may not be trying to hit you with a line. My girlfriend has VERY attractive eyebrows. That was the VERY first thing I noticed about her when I first met her.

http://www.plauder-smilies.de/kiss.gif
I guess I'm gonna take that as a commpliment then...that was a first timer for me...

I posted this someplace else before, but a guy came up to me and said, "Damn, girl. You jus how i like my cornbread...thick and yella." http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif

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*someday...if it's in God's will*

The other day I was out walking, and this guy rode up to me on his bike, and was like I saw you and I just had to get on my bike and come see you. It took all I had not to laugh in this man face. You should have seen the old and rusted ten-speed he was on. lol

Why did the guy who was cleaning tables in BURGER KING invite me back and said my next lunch is on him? I got into my BMW and drove away! PPPUUHHLLLEEZZZ!!!

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MCCOYRED
Mu Psi '86
BaltCo Alumnae

Dynamic...Salient...Temperate...Since 1913

Men seem to think I should give them my number because I am a "pretty black girl", and that should be a compliment.

How about...Are you married?...Are you taking applications?

-Do you have a husband? Well you better watch because someone may swoop you up, and it may be me! (What? excuse me?)

-Or how about...Girl, you have the sexiest lips I have ever seen!

-Not to mention my hair, complexion and my body parts being a topic of discussion

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Delta Sigma Theta Sorority,Inc
Rho Xi,Sp'01
#4,Issues

Worst Mack Lines In History
 

I know with all the beautiful sorors and sf's on the message board there has to be some really good stories of the worst mack lines in history. I mean mack lines that made you just laugh in the guy's face and just walk away:rolleyes: The one that just make me sick to my stomach is when married men try to holla at you and tell you that him and his wife or having problems and he doesn't want to be there. The only reason he is there is because the six kids that he and his wife have. All the while your thinking yeah right scrub you don't want to pay no child support!! Then he proceeds to ask for you number because he just needs a friend or someone to talk to:mad:

Too Many to Name, So Little Time
 

I know you ladies have heard all of these, I am about to mention. I believe they are universal. From coast to coast

*Girl I know you are tired, because you have been running through my mind all day:rolleyes:

*Girl that must be jam, because jelly don't shake like that

*Girl, do you have a twin here or is it that you are just that fine?
(Hmm, a guy actually thought I had a twin and told me I was prettier of the two:eek: )

*Girl aint you that girl from the Juvenille video:rolleyes:

*Excuse me for bumping into you, but might I add that it did feel good doing it...:p

Can I have your number,(No you can't) Well, can I give you mine?

THE WORST...
 

Brotha: Hey, hey, shawty!! Come here...

Me: walking swiftly in the other direction

Brotha: Shawty for real, come here... I gotta tell you something. For real

Me: walking even more swiftly in the other direction

Brotha: (at the top of his lungs) For real, I need you in my life. Tonight!!!

I just had to stop and go back so I could tell him how lame that was. All he could do was laugh and agree.... :rolleyes:

I'm Married!
 

I was on the train last week and this guy started talking to me, casually. He saw my wedding ring and asked was I married; I said yes. He asked whether I had children; I said yes. In the very next breath, he asked me would I like to go out with him and he kissed my hand. I was like WTF? Then he said that he doesn't want a committment but would love to go out and have a 'good time'. Don't think so!

I think this bruh man was mad at my girlfriend for not giving him a chance to do his version "MacDaddy.....you know "Hey baby what's your name?".....the whole 2 and 1/2 yards of sh....tuff!!!


.........so he goes on to say.......


"Well you know you got more a$$ than a team of donkeys!"

http://www.plauder-smilies.de/kopfpatsch.gif


We hollered when we got in the car!!

Re: I'm Married!
 

Oooooh....

I wonder if we've ran into the same fool! I was gettin my car washed and this guy says the usual "Can I take you out sometime". I reply that I am married. (Really, divorced.. but hell I didn't feel like being bothered.) He says "Great, so am I.... So what's the problem?" :eek: I'm thinkin to myself 'You are definitely a winner!'

maybe i'm corny, but i think that's kind of cute.

maaaaaan
 

Sorors.. Tha Bruhs had a MILLION of um when we were ug. Most were silly ones we used on freshmen girls to get to know them and get them to the bar-be-QUE or party.

My favorite was to have a young lady on her way to class pass you and say,"ExQUESe me."

-- have her turn around "yes"

You dropped something..

-- she looks down and all around.. "What?"

THen the Bruhs would say.. "OUR CONVERSATION.. LET'S PICK IT BACK UP." :)

*rimshot* Thank you Thank you Sorors... *please.. no more applause*.. just throw $$$$ :cool:

One word...
 

CRAZY!! Yo' azz is crazy, LMAO!!!

I'm just now reading this thread, and this is some funny mess, lmao...

2 classics...

"Ya know what would look good on you?...ME!"
(this never works, but I've seen many a drunk college men get beer poured all over em for it!"

"Girl...you look so good someone oughta put you on a plate...sop you up wit a biscuit!" - Rev. Brown- Coming to America;)

the pick up artist
 

"gIRL.. DO you wanna see me put my SEX ORGAN ON MY SHOULDER?"

* girl looks at you crazy *..

THEN YOU TURN YOUR HEAD AND PUT YOUR TONGUE ON YOUR SHOULDER !!

*getz a laugh every time*

Re: the pick up artist
 

LMAOF!!!!! I agree Ideal 08 This is a hillilarous thread... :D

I got another one that....
 

Re: the pick up artist
 

CTHU!!! See you are crazy!!