Etiquette!
 

Y'know, I continually am annoyed by the lack of etiquette in people in certain situations. For instance:

--open the door for people if they have their hands full. It only take a second.

--maybe this is cause I'm a southern gal, but...if a lady walks in the room and there's nowhere to sit (especially if it's an older woman), a man is supposed to give up his seat for her. Yeah, it may be old fashioned, but it just makes sense.

--DO NOT, DO NOT, DO NOT!!!!!, leave your ringer on if you go to a concert, play, etc. It is extremely rude to the performer(s) and distracting to the audience as well. No call in the world is worth disrupting a performance for.

--on the same line...for petes sakes, people, learn when to clap and when not to if you go to a concert/recital!!! If a piece has more than one movement, YOU DO NOT CLAP BETWEEN MOVEMENTS. Only after the entire piece is finished. No exceptions.

Discuss!

My biggest annoyance is when we are at a restuarant waiting for a table, the seating (in the waiting section) is full, and there are KIDS sitting there and their parents don't tell the kids to get up so the adults standing can sit.
This bothered me the most when I was pregnant-- 9 months pg and tired of standing, I must continue to stand because lazy, mannerless parent doesn't think their spoiled brat should stand.
I always make my kid stand if there are no seats. If I know my kid is tired or something that prohibits them from standing, then they sit on my lap. If the adult does not sit, I still have my child stand-just in case the person changes their mind.

-wendi

Do not bring a 5 months old baby to a 3 hours art film.

Re: Etiquette!
 

That's a hard one for those of us who are musically challanged. Which is probably most of us.

It's generally not meant to be rude -- rather to be appreciative.

Re: Etiquette!
 

I absolutely agree with this. Even guys I know that are absolute a-holes abide by this rule. I also know many guys who feel that telling certain "locker-room" stories around girls is inappropriate and at a party will wait until they leave the group to do so.

Re: Etiquette!
 

Going back a few years, I was taught whenever a lady entered a room -- whether their were seats or not -- a gentleman would stand. Simply out of respect.

There are a lot of other things that have gone by the wayside as well.

But it's not all our fault (speaking for the men). When you've been taken to task as being sexist for opening a door, or car door, or walking on the streetside on a sidewalk, or whatever, you tend to stop doing those things.

How about kids who run around the restaurant and their parents aren't doing a thing about it? I don't like that. I also don't like it when parents take very, very young children to restaurants and these kids obviously don't want to be there, so they throw tantrums. I understand that there are some cultures where going out is a "family" thing, but in these cultures, kids are also better behaved. If the kids don't want to be there, then don't go to that place!

Re: Re: Etiquette!
 

I would never be upset if I got on the bus and a man didn't give up his seat for me. After all, he's had a hard day too. :)

But if it's a pregnant woman or someone who's approximately 130 years old, SOMEONE needs to stand up.

People who leave their cell phones on or let their kids run in movies/restaurants/libraries/bookstores/concerts should be disemboweled while they are still breathing.

Re: Re: Re: Etiquette!
 

How can they breathe if they are being properly strangled?

When I was a collegian, we were told to stand whenever an alumna entered the room as a show of respect. This wasn't a hundred years ago, but it was in the 80's and it was in Atlanta. :)

How about people who charge into an elevator before letting those who are inside out? :mad:

Though it doesn't really qualify as etiquette, I hate, hate, hate when shoppers leave their grocery carts scattered around the store's parking lot. There's a cart corral that will ensure that they don't blow into and damage others' cars (like the Toureg I saw broadsided). It also lets others actually park in empty spots.

Don't even get me started on co-workers who monopolize the network printer, and don't replace the paper.

/rant

I just got Kate Spade's Manners book for Christmas. I'm sure I'll have more to add later.

I don't know how the bus system works in your city, but in our buses, the first few seats behind the driver are flagged as courtesy seats, and if an elderly person or a disabled person on a wheelchair (we had those hydraulic lifts on the door) boards the bus, we're encouraged to find other seats and give them up.

I can't stand it when young punks don't give up their seats when the courtesy seats are full. It pisses me off to see the elderly searching for an empty seat when the bus is full.

Show some respect, geez!

Re: Etiquette!
 

This is the one that bugs me the most. I work in a receiving room that has the time clock. I will be carrying a 40 lb box, yet men and women young and old will push past me or make me wait for them to walk by so they can punch in or out. As if letting me walk by quickly will cost them more than 3 cents!

Re: Re: Re: Etiquette!
 

Exactly. I don't see the point of a guy giving up his seat for a girl just because she's a girl. Or holding open a door for someone just because they're female. You hold the door open for people because it's a polite thing to do. And that goes for women or men.

Ettiquette should not just be for one gender.

Yesssss that is one of my biggest pet peeves! Loud/misbehaving kids in restaurants drive me insane.

I also don't like when there is a crying baby in church. I understand that of course babies cry, and this is why my church has a SOUNDPROOF crying room in the back! Don't just stand there and try to hush your baby!

co-sign

If i see that happen, i give the elderly person my seat.

WHYYYY am I coming across so many young females who CANNOT give a proper handshake?

It would really creep me out if people stood up for me.

I agree with s&s that etiquette is for everyone, and I don't think that I'm deserving of a show of respect just because I'm a woman or I'm older than anyone.

Trip them.

-it happened these past couple of days when I went to the mall: kids running around and playing on the floor.

-kids screaming and crying and nobody doing anything to shut them up. sometimes i want to just walk by them kid and give them a mean look to shut them up.

-having sick kids out and in enclosed places like restaurants. I really think my bf and I got sick from this little 5 year old girl when we went out to eat at this nice restaurant for our anniversary. The family sat at the next table, by a window, and even though it was cold, and she said she was cold, and she was coughing, they didn't move, getting my bf and I sick for 2 weeks.

-people not moving out of the way when walking down an isle or something.

-saying excuse me or sorry

I don't care if it's a family restaurant or not, it's NOT a zoo!! When I see a parent escort a troublesome child outside for a moment or two, I usually take the time to congratulate them on their parenting skills.

I was in a doctor's office once, and this kid kept running up and down the length of the waiting room, screaming. She finally got to me, and I put the flats of my hands on her shoulders and said, "Go sit down." She did. Her mother shot me dirty looks, but everyone else was giving me thumbs up or winks.

Part of being a child is learning how to be an adult - so few parents seem to realize that anymore!

As for the Alumnae thing, I don't have a problem with the actives not standing, BUT! If the elevator is broken, and I've just walked up 10 floors, offering me a seat and/or something cool to drink is only common courtesy. Not to me as an alumna, but to anyone who is a visitor.

Edited to add: I'd love to see something other than handshaking as a courtesy. The last thing that I want is to shake the hand of someone who just sneezed into their palm!

Wow, now that you mention it, this bothers me too. If I wanted to hold a limp dishrag in my hand I would go to Bed Bath and Beyond.

Along these lines....people who charge off the subway and thru the turnstiles to exit without letting people who want to get on the train thru first! I missed a subway last week due to this! :mad:

Those Kate Spade books are great! Enjoy!

Good manners have gone out the window with so many things these days.:(

Can we say it is equal rights that have changed this? I really dont know. When women want to be equals, maybe men feel okay be equal.

Should Parents who do not control their Kids should be flogged as parents cannot correct their kids or go to jail.

I guess I am like some of Us, DeltAlum for one who were brought up in the old school of manners. Be kind, be gentle, and show that you have some class.

Yepper, I am tired after 11 hour days but, I also had good upbringing and try to show respect for others!

Handshakes, I had a guy come in to apply for a job. His handshake was like a dry wash rag. Goodby Mr Chips!:rolleyes:

Most of this comes from me being a lifeguard at a public pool for so long.

- Mothers who think that the sun shines out of their kid's ass. NO! Your child broke the rules, he/she must be disciplined like every other child.

- Women who think that their child's bowel/digestive news is "cute" or "natural" and therefore we all want to hear about it. THIS ALSO INCLUDES CHANGING YOUR CHILD IN PUBLIC!! Do NOT whip out a crapped in diaper in the middle of a mall courtyard (this is not as uncommon as you think!). Most malls or large public buildings now have changing stations in the women's AND men's rooms and some even have family restrooms or nursing stations where mothers can go to take care of their babies. I DO NOT THINK YOUR CHILD'S POOP IS CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!

- Women who bring those SUV like strollers into tight/ confined spaces, like stores. Is it really necessary to have a stroller that looks like a freaking pastel hummer?

I wash my hands or use sanitizer after shaking hands. The grerms can wash off, but the bad first impressions usually can't.

Thanks to having mostly male friends in high school, I find most bathroom humor funny...but I would be very embarrassed to discuss my child's bowel habits. This lady at church once asked me to pray for her son because he was constipated and haven't pooped in almost two weeks. I had to hold back my giggle. Couldn't she just say "Pray for my son, he's having some private medical issues".

The Subway:

When i was interning in DC, people who would get up or already be standing in front of the doorway. IF YOU'RE NOT GETTING OFF, STOP BLOCKING THE DOOR!

Now living in Boston going to grad school: while i realize the T is crowded, is it really necessary for you to NOT MOVE INTO THE CAR! there is plenty of room in the middle.

And for both please do not lean all over the entire poles that other people need to hold onto if they're standing. Personally I don't want to have to touch your back b/c you're leaning on the damn pole!

Ha ha ha...my AGD friend refers to this as the "Icky Poo Banana Handshake".

I was always taught the correct handshake would be to grip firmly, pump 3 times, and give your greetings while hands are grasped (including your name).

"Hello, I'm Susie Sorority, how are you?" (grip)
"Hello, I'm Fred Fraternity, i'm well, thank you, and yourself?"

I really hate it when people just serve water and wine and leave me out. TOTALLY RUDE!

Great question! I've noticed this in the 20-somethings that I interview. I often get a "wow, firm handshake" comment from men. And I hate it when a man shakes my hand like I'm a girl.

honeychile, I think that kid you saw in the doctor's office was on my 5 hour flight home from Las Vegas in November. She was running up and down the aisle, bumping into everyone. :rolleyes:

Question: If you are given a gift in person, and you thank the giver upon receipt, is it necessary to send a thank you note later? I'm asking because I rarely do, but my mother in law always does. (We won't even talk about those who are mailed gifts and never acknowledge their arrival. :( )

She should get that kid to the doctor because that isn't normal.

I really dislike unruly children and do not let me see them hit their parents... Whoo hoo... It's owwnnnn nauw...

Like there's this 8 year old that comes to my church with jacked up hair, all over the place then wants to whine and yell to his folks about stuff... It was me that suggested to my pastor and the other staff to put the kids in the front so they behave--somewhat. Anyhow, this same kid cannot sit still for nothin' and the adult (not his parent) kept tapping his shoulder to make him behave. My husband said that this child needs a foot up his ass!!! Meaning, we believe in corporal punishment. Not a several ass whoopin' like back during slavery, but basically a "pinch"-in-his-face-snort-behavioral-modification-method-guarenteed-to-work-without-relapse!!!

But usually, I just ask the older kids in church if they love Jesus? That usually shapes them up for a few minutes... Or I start teasing them...

Sounds like this kid may by hyperactive and need medical help more than corporal punishment.

"GAG", KIDS, better living through Drugs, is approved by the ACLU!

Dont swat kids who are bad, talk to them. Yow, right!

Dr. Tom Says, a swift kick in the ass works wonders!:cool:

When I was a preschool teacher, we used to teach our children to say Yes/No Maam/Sir, excuse me, etc. We even said it back to them-the 3 year olds, getting them used to basically-We are polite to you, you are to be polite to us. So when I would go somewhere I would hate that my 3 year olds were more courteous and polite then everyone else. And I got so used to saying yes sir, that when I worked as a bartender I would reply with sir/maam, and get YELLED at for it!! Hello, this is TEXAS where manners are supposed to prevail, and excuse the hell outta me for being POLITE! Grrr.....

I was on a call once with about 4 other people and I heard the toliet flush! I don't care how good of friends we are or how many times we've worked together, do not go to the bathroom while we're on a call (unless you're going to mute it the ENTIRE time.) Gross

Whaaa....? Why did you get yelled at for that?

The whole "ma'am" thing cracks me up! We had a Leadership Consultant (AGD travelling consultant) from Texas here in this area this past semester and the first time I spoke with her on the phone, she called me "ma'am". It was cute, but made me feel old initially. We went out to dinner and she called the waitress "ma'am" also, so then I didn't feel so badly! She was so adorable. You just don't hear ma'am up north much. A "ma'am" is old (like an adult to a 3 year old)! So, when someone calls you ma'am, you feel old. This one is a regional/cultural thing I think!

Dee

It's definitely a cultural thing. When I was a child and said, "Yes" or "No", my parents would ask "Yes or no who?" I've also noticed that, for the most part, the African American community is better at enforcing this than others - at least, around here.