Let the "Where's Your Boyfriend?"s begin!!!
 

Well, folks, it's that time of year -- the holiday season is upon us and with that comes parties where, if you're like I am, you're going to be asked a million times, "Where's your boyfriend, Jess?" If you can commisserate, let it all out!

ETA: Do guys get this too? If so, then "Where's your girlfriend?"

Re: Let the "Where's Your Boyfriend?"s begin!!!
 

My grandfather constantly asks me "so do you have a boyfriend?" and I haven't for like, a year, but I'm seeing someone now so hopefully he'll get off of it.

Re: Re: Let the "Where's Your Boyfriend?"s begin!!!
 

I never really liked the phrase "he'll get off of it".

-Rudey

I don't get to sit at the "adult" table when my family gets together on christmas eve until I bring a boyfriend. :mad:

If people ask, tell them that you are too much of a slut to be with just one man. Trust me, they will never ask again. :p

Re: Re: Re: Let the "Where's Your Boyfriend?"s begin!!!
 

Oh get off of it.

Over thanksgiving my cousin's wife told me I had to get a move on about the whole relationship thing. Apparently according to her all women should be married and have their first baby by 25. That irked me greatly what's it to you what I do grrr :mad:

my one aunt must've told my mom 5,000 times that my brother and I can bring our significant others over on Christmas day. This is also shortly after she made some comment to my mom that I should be getting married soon, i'm getting old! Okay, her daughter didn't get married until she was 25, her son who is a year and a half older than me is no where near getting married. It's always been a friggin' competition!

Mr. kddani will be with his family on Christmas day, where he should be. We're not that serious yet that we need to split our time on a major holiday yet. Not to mention the fact that I just wouldn't want to expose him to the dullness that this particular side of the family is. And cruddy food!

But yeah, I know i'm going to be asked a zillion questions. My response will probably be something along the lines of oh, it's nothing serious yet, i'm more concerned with finishing law school. Both her kids went to not so great schools and haven't gone further than their bachelors and have crappy jobs that they hate. While of course I don't hold that against them, it's a nice comeback to get my aunt to STFU.

I used to get asked that by my family all the time. Now that I have one, it's "so when are you guys getting married?" Um, we've been dating 2 months thank you! No plans for marriage yet!

That's what I'm worried about. I've been with my boy for a month now. I actually had a sister (sorority, not biological) ask if we had talked about marriage! I'm like... uh... how's this: we're exclusively dating but marriage hasn't even crossed my mind.

For the time I was single though, (about 2.5 years) my grandmother would ask if I had a boyfriend yet. I would say I was too busy for a relationship. So she went on to say that her sister was always "too busy for a relationship" and she never married and is now a miserable old hag. (Not her words, but it's the family's sentiments.)

I totally feel your pain on this one! Same goes in my family. I almost like sitting at the "kid's table" though. It is much more amusing.

It makes me :rolleyes: when people at work ask me if I have kids before they ask me if I have a boyfriend. No where in there do they ask if I'm married?!! What is THAT all about?

My mom and the not-BF get along really well, and that's all that matters...because it'll be a cold day in hell before I bring him to any family parties.

I've been with Mr. ADqtPiMel for about 4 years, so he comes to the majority of my family's stuff and I go to his. We get a lot of the "So when are you getting married?" comments from my dad's family and both sides of his family. We're only 21, calm down people. :rolleyes:

On the other side of it, I just got out of a four year relationship, and my whole family adored him. I swear, he talked to my parents and cousins more than I did! Thanksgiving was a disaster with everyone wanting to know where he is, what he's been up to, etc, and I have a feeling that Christmas will be much worse. Its hard to go through a break up, and harder at the holidays when your family is bitter that they're being deprived of spending time with him. :rolleyes:

This question is made even more complicated when you're seeing 2 guys at the same time, because of course I'm not going to explaing THAT to my relatives but then I don't know which one to tell them about (I dont want to leave the other out!) I'm probably just going to say no one special, which isn't true, but less complicated.

Haha.

As a guy, all the comments I get from both aunts and uncles are 'Don't get married! Ever! You're too young, wait until like 30 or 35.'

25 is YOUNG to me to be getting married. I am almost the big
3-0 and honestly, I don't really know a whole lot of people in my age bracket, a little older and even much younger who are married yet. Hell, I know people who've been dating for 5 or 6 years who are not even engaged yet. People need to get over this already and just STFU already like you said. Why do people--not only family members--insist on making marriage into a competition?! Damn, we can't even finish grad school and START in our profession and people want to have us barefoot and pregnant already. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My grandparents got married young (one grandmother at 18, one at 19, and my grandfathers are 2 years older than them) and my parents married young (my mom was 20 and my dad was 22). Whenever I have a boyfriend, one of my grandmothers is always asking my mom if "he's the one." And I had a boyfriend over Thanksgiving but we just broke up, so that should be fun explaining that to the entire family over Christmas. :rolleyes: But my sister is 23 and not dating anyone, so I think I'm in the clear for awhile.

My husband still hasn't met ALL of my family...

Ladies, don't worry about "when you have a boyfriend" questions... They'll live without one.

When I was single, I just stopped going over to folks houses for the holidays. There were tons of needy homeless people out there disenfranchised with with no friends or family to begin to share the holiday spirit with them...

One can always do that during those times and those folks need you the most...

Ugh. I am so sick of this question it makes me want to gag. I get so tired of hearing it at every family occassion, etc. Especially when it's followed by the ever popular, "Don't worry, you'll find someone." Thanks for the vote of confidence.

That's what my Dad says to me on the rare occasion we talk about anything but finance, school and the state of my car. About 4 weeks ago I mentioned I was going on a date, and he told me, "You don't need to spend time worrying about boys. Worry about getting into medical school." Um Dad, I'm just going on a date. No wonder he's divorced! :rolleyes:

I had a lady at church ask me last Christmas, "Have you found anyone yet?"

Dear Mrs. B.,
A. Why, is someone lost?
B. I didn't know I was supposed to be looking!
Sincerely,
Nun Ya Biznis

P.S. Just because your daughter got married by her senior year of college, and every other kid at this church is either married after high school or before finishing college, DOESN'T MEAN I HAVE TO!

Oh, and I really like my mom telling me that I "better find someone or I'll end up an old cat lady" (like an old single woman who has 37 cats and that's all she cares about.) Gee, thanks mom, that's really sweet of you! :rolleyes:

If your relatives say anything and you're on the young side (say fresh out of college), tell them that the average American bride is 25.3 years old. If you're a guy, tell them that the average groom is like 27 or so.

Everyone in my family that I spend the holidays I'm pretty tight with so they all already know my dating situation and would never ask me that.

However, if my grandpa comes in he will ask me and if I say yes he will say "He isn't good enough for my ladybug" regardless if he's met him or not.

Very cute.

What this quote *really* should read is:
The average American "starter marriage" bride is 25.3 years old. If you're a guy, tell them that the average "starter marriage" groom is like 27 or so.

</snark>

Ha ha ha...

I didn't get that question so much from my family (they're all about my starting a career and like, finishing grad school), but I get it from my mother's Southern Belle friends.

"What are you going to do with that boy?" (pronounced like buoy) :rolleyes:

What is the pressure in the "good old South" to go from Daddy's house to the sorority house to your husband's house? I know only a handful of people from college who are married now, but half of my HS class is hitched with kids on the way. WTF, mates?

If my family had such poor social skills that they asked me constantly when I was going to get a boyfriend or anything of the sort, I'd probably respond by saying, "Well mama, he's in prison right now, but he didn't do it and he'll be out soon and he's just dying to meet you!"

I think this has now crossed over the Mason-Dixon line. Soooo many people I graduated HS with are married with multiple children. Which is fine, but that doesn't mean everyone should do it. I was getting my hair done yesterday and the stylist asked me if I had kids, and I said I was too young and she said he was 18 when she had her first child, like 23 is too old to start a family or something.

Oof, my cousins are all married now, and I get that "So where is your boyfriend?" thing all the time.

I smile, and tell them (politely) that he is in Fort Wayne with his family where he belongs. I also tell them that he and I go to school together 8 months out of the year and I prefer to spend the holidays catching up with my family and other friends.

Being nice generally shuts them up. :)

Re: Let the "Where's Your Boyfriend?"s begin!!!
 

I was just wondering this . . . I don't think we get it as much or as early. I think a mom or other female relative is likely to ask this question of a guy when he is much older than girls getting the same question.

Also, I think a guy's family knows that a lot of times men will be dating but not bring their girlfriend home for the holidays for a variety of reasons so won't bring it up.

How often do we har stories about X girl being the first one the parents met even though he has been in the dating game fo years and multiple partners?

Also, and I know this sounds harsh, girls receive more social validity by having a guy than a guy does having a girl. Very little of our social value is determined by us being single or taken. Also, guys don't seem to have a social shelf life, or the shelf life is much longer than the dating female.

Oy. And if you still think there is social validity attached to being single or taken, you are too old for this board.

I used to get that question all the time. now, it's like when are you going to find someone new...they're just jealous, because he didn't buy them diamonds for christmas.

But, on Christmas Eve, they asked for him, and it's like he has a family too and it's the same night they do their thing. If you want to see me next Christmas, you'll shut up and stop asking. :)

Just kidding. I wasn't that mean. But that is what it feels like.

made it through the entire holiday without a single where's your boyfriend

Both my nephews, ones 23 and ones 26, are getting married. One on New years day and One in June (or possibly sooner). Since I am close in age to my nephews they are more like my brothers. We only had 5 adults (including me) and 3 kids at our house for family dinner last night and I bet I was asked that question at least 10 times (people felt the need to ask it multiple times). Today we went over to my sis' house and one of my nephews was there and started in again saying hopefully soon I will have my own family. Geez people, I'm only 21, let me at least graduate first. The next person in my family is only 17, but I could care less if she's married before me.

Then my mom started talking about baby names for my "children" at lunch today...

Uhm . . there are a lot of 20 msomething's too old for this board then . . look at the engagement threds and wedding threads . .

No one asked me but I started to few bad cuz my 16 year old cousin brought her boyfriend. And he got her a "promise" ring. :rolleyes:

Don't knock promise rings! That means they're going to be together 4-EVER! ;)

1) sitting christmas eve with the fam and my sis's fiance....mom makes the comment about how she wants 6 kids from both of us....i was like, "both of who!?" b/c i'm the single girl and whoa, no babies, thanks. she was like, "both of you" to me and my sis...."you'll find whoever he is somewhere.....someday.....you know....wherever......" grrrreat.

2) my mom bought me both b. jones books (yay!) b/c we both know that i relate all too well to her (minus the being a 30-something singleton)...and then my sis pipes up, "yeah, but you don't end up with the good guy in the end"

THANK YOU! I'LL BE HERE ALL NIGHT!!! :p :rolleyes: :eek: