In This Thread, We Talk To Each Other Using Lines from Seinfeld
 

Since that show had so many great lines. :D

"That's what you had to tell me? Your father wears sneakers in the pool?"

"And you want to be my latex salesman?"

"ASSMAN? I'll give him ASSMAN!"

Don't forget to celebrate Festivus on December 23rd. Festivus for the rest of us!

Make checks payable to the Human Fund. ;)

OTW, you are sponge worthy.

Okay, it doesn't quite work, but I love "sponge worthy" more than anything.

"Not that there's anything wrong with that"

"No soup for you!"

Tuck or no tuck?

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, Mister!

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Yada, yada, yada.

"I just threw away a lifetime of guilt-free sex and floor seats
to every sporting event in Madison Square Garden. So, please,
a little respect, for I am Costanza, Lord of the Idiots."


"Serenity Now"

"You put the balm on? Who told you to put the balm on? I didn't tell you to put the balm on. Why'd you put the balm on? You haven't even been to see the doctor. If your gonna put a balm on, let a doctor put a balm on."

"Maybe the dingo ate your baby..."
- Elaine, to a snooty party guest

"Did you just double-dip that chip?"

HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!

That was the sound Jerry's GF's stomach made one episode.

He's a male bimbo... he's a Mimbo.

He took it out.

"Elaine, do you have any idea what happens to a butter-based frosting after sitting 60 years in a poorly ventilated English basement? I have a feeling that what you are about to go through is punishment enough. Dismissed."
-Mr. Peterman

Sex to SAVE the friendship

Jerry: "Are you Master of your Domain?"
George: "I am King of the County. You?"
Jerry: "Lord of the Manor."
Elaine: "I'm Queen of the castle!"

Oh yeah? Well, the jerk store called, they're running out of you!

Weezie is an outrage!

Is Anyone Here A Marine Biologist???
 

GEORGE: The sea was angry that day my friends...like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli. I got about fifty feet out and suddenly, the great beast appeared before me. I tell ya, he was ten stories high if he was a foot. As if sensing my presence, he let out a great bellow. I said, "Easy, big fella!" And then, as I watched him struggling I realized that something was obstructing its breathing. From where I was standing I could see directly into the eye of the great fish!

JERRY: Mammal.

GEORGE: Whatever.

The meeting's at Monk's coffee shop. Do you need directions?

Elaine: The wedding is in one week. I got this [holds up invitation] today."

Jerry: So you think it's a non-vite?

Elaine: It's an un-vitation!

Jimmy's gonna put the moves on Elaine.

"You know Darren, if you would have told me twenty-five years ago that some day I'd be standing here about to solve the world's energy problems, I would've said you're crazy... Now let's push this giant ball of oil out the window."

Newman, you wouldn't eat broccoli even if it was deep-fried in chocolate sauce.

George: Yeah! Look at me! I was free and clear! I was living the dream! I was stripped to the waist, eating a block of cheese the size of a car battery!

Jerry: Before we go any further, I'd just like to point out how disturbing it is that you equate eating a block of cheese with some sort of bachelor paradise.

George: Don't you see? I'm back in.

Jerry: All because of Wrath of Khan?

George: Yes!

Jerry: Well, it was the best of those movies.

George: KHAAAAAAAANNNN!

George! FESTIVUS is your heritage!

They're real, and they're spectacular.

"You want a Christmas card? You want a Christmas card? Here's
your Christmas card!!!" - Elaine to George, as she grabs his head and pulls it into her chest, in "The Pick"

HELLOOOO, NEWMAN.

I don't have a square to spare. I can't spare a square.

The bra for men...the bro.
No, it's a mansiere.

Katya to Jerry: "In my country, they speak of a man so virile, so potent, that to spend a night with such a man is to enter a world of such sensual delights most women dare not dream of. This man is known as the "Comedian." You may tell jokes, Mr. Jerry Seinfeld, but you are no Comedian."

I only need ONE square!! What about a ply?? Is it two ply? I'll even take a PLY!

A GEORGE DIVIDED AMONGST HIMSELF CAN NOT STAND

It's a JUNIOR Mint. It's chocolate, it's peppermint, it's delicious! It's very refreshing.

Jerry: Kramer, he's just a dentist
Kramer: Yeah, and you're an anti-dentite.

That's it. We've come full circle.


Did we have this conversation before?
Yeah I think we did.

I've got the Kavorka Jerry.

She's got shiksa-ppeal.

Elaine: I've yada yada'd sex.

George: Really?

Elaine: Yeah. I met this lawyer, we went out to dinner, I had the lobster bisque, we went back to my place, yada yada yada, I never heard from him again.

Jerry: But you yada yada'd over the best part.

Elaine: No, I mentioned the bisque.