Sisters Swiping Clothes
 

I. Have. Had. It. Did any of you ever deal with a sister who swiped your clothes and didn't give them back? One of our college daughters has been bad about this over the years but now that she's in college close to here, she makes raids during the day when we're all gone. We could put locks on the closets but it's like locking the gate after all the cattle are out.

We could try to raid her dorm room or her bf's apartment but I don't know how we'd pull that off. Her sisters who are in college have taken their entire wardrobes with them bc of her but it stinks for the ones who are still at home.

Isn't that what sisters are for? To share clothes? My sister & I constantly raid each other's closets without asking. If something goes missing that I'm looking for then I just call her up & ask her for it. No big deal.

The key is that first, Swiper Sister should ask and second, she should return it. Neither of these is happening!

I don't know, maybe its just the way they are used to working, especially since you have so many daughters. But since its just me & my sister (we don't even live in the same house, but we still love to swipe each other's clothes) I know I don't have to ask & I only return if she asks me for it. Same goes for her. A lot of clothes that I wouldn't wear or no longer fits she borrows & keeps & it doesn't go to waste gathering dust in my closet.

Call her out on it and explain that its a big deal to everyone else and that her behavior is uncool and her rights stop where everyone elses begin.

Maybe let your girls put locks on their bedroom doors?

I'm glad my sister is only a 4T.

If she's coming into the house and taking clothes without permission while no one is home, sounds like its time to for her to lose house key priviledges.

Her sisters should confront her and explain why she's no longer welcome to borrow their clothes anymore.Cut her off completely. Also she has 3 days to return the things she's taken or pay to replace the missing items if they are not in good condition.
They can tell her you and Mr. Carnation approve this decision.

As for getting access to her dorm room call the dorm director of her building explain as her parent you need get some items from her room that she borrowed from you and are unable to get ahold of her. I've never known administrators to deny a parent access to their child's room.

In the boyfriend apt., call the boyfriend and ask if he or roomate will be there at a arranged time and explain you need to pickup clothes she borrowed because they need to be drycleaned.Or get their permission to have the building manager let you in.

Good luck.

My sister used to do this to me when I was 15 and she was 14. I wanted to wring her neck. My mother put a lock on my door, and I was the only one with the key.

There also might be an underlying problem. Ask her if she needs new clothes for college. She might be embarrassed to tell you that she needs new clothes because she has changed sizes. Maybe she just doesn't have enough clothes. Or maybe the clothes that she has aren't as fashionable as her sister's.

As far as her entering your house without your permission and taking clothes, talk to her. Tell her that she has a week to return all of the items or replace them or you will change the locks. It might scare her into returning them.

Ummmm...no. As someone who currently works in a residential hall, it takes much more than "I want to get in my child's room" for a parent to gain access to the student's dorm. For us, the parent has to have not heard from the child for a number of days and security has to have a valid reason for keying into the resident's room--ie, no one has seen the student recently, or there is no record of student access into their building or dining hall. In other words, deanery or student affairs personnel won't entertain a parent's request to get in their child's just because.

I would say, if it's a serious problem, allow your other daughters to get closet keys.

OH NO!!! I don't know what school you go to, but I highly doubt it an andministrator would allow you access to a students room, even if it is your child. I know my university would NEVER have allowed that.

While she shouldn't be borrowing things without permission, it's not right to "break in" to take them back. That's stopping to her level and doesn't really make you any better than her.

Neither of the two universities I went to would allow a parent to enter their child's dorm room. That was the greatest thing about going to college, because even if your parents were paying for it, everything from your grades, to your campus medical records, to your dorm room was private from your parents unless you chose to share it with them.

Well, I'm betting that she's stored some of them at the bf's apartment anyway and I can just see us asking the landlord if we can break in. LOL!

But--we could handle this easily when she was in high school. When your kid is in college, it's harder to apply discipline! I mean, you can't force the kid to hand over the clothes (especially if she claims innocence)--what are you going to do, ground her?

About all we can do is to withhold money for extras until she comes up with the clothes. And if she doesn't, she'll be out a lot of money but that won't recover her sisters' favorite clothes.

Frankly, I would tell her she won't be getting tuition unless everything is returned (in whatever shape) by a certain date.

My parents did that to my sister and it was remarkable how quickly everything was returned to my mom and I !

:D

A bunch. That's why people refer to Carnation's kids as the "Carnation Nation" -- there's a ton of them! Over ten, I know that for sure...

Carnation, I have 3 sisters and one of them is a clothes swiper. Only thing is when you confront her about it she now admits it and will give things back. When she was little and I lived at home she used to swipe everything from my dolls to sports uniforms and my favorite hair scrunchies. The way we've approached her about it is confronting her one on one about our things that are missing. It doesn't completely stop the swiping but it does get our stuff back.

Good luck!

Haha. When I was in college my sister was 11! That was just what I was thinking.

*Times I'm glad that I'm a "second only"!!" :)









According to The Birth Order Book, so many years between two children makes the second child a "second only child" - it's like having 3 parents!

What is this magic number?

My sister and I are a pretty good number of years apart...but we're the same size now! Too bad we live so far away from each other, she could learn a lot from me...;)

There are 13 and 9 of them are girls! Plus they have, let's see, at least a dozen girl cousins who are high school and college age. Most of the sisters and cousins swap clothes amicably; it's just that this particular one takes what she wants without asking and doesn't bother to return it.

Bruinaphi, I can visualize us having one of those "confrontational" meetings like they do with alcoholics where all the people who are affected by the perpetrator force him to sit down and listen to how his behavior is hurting them...

I think it's as low as 7 or 8. There's a lot more between my brother & me, so I'm not sure.

And he seems to think I could learn a lot from him, too! :rolleyes:
My brother, would-be best buddies with Cotton Mathers!

Interventions can be scary when they involve someone on drugs or someone who is an alcoholic but when its over clothes I doubt she will take it as seriously as you want her to. I vote to take away her house key or put locks on the bedroom doors of your daughters that live there. That'll really scare her, especially when she sees how seriously you are taking it.

Just think of all the stylish clothes you're missing out on :( :p

Ok Ok...I must have been on some other planet....you have 13 children? (birth, marriage, adopted?) I thought I was doing great with 5! You are a goddess!!!

I know:( All those cool Dora and Strawberry Shortcake outfits I will never get to wear:(