Tips for Northerners Moving to the South
 

Found on Cartalk.com

1. Save All Manner of Bacon Grease: You will be instructed later how to use it.

2. If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or her) as "Bubba." You have a 75% chance of being right.

3. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean the natives can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.

4. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four-wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

5. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.

6. Do not buy food at the movie store.

7. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating.

8. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.

9. There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a Southern accent, unless it is a Southerner imitating a Boston accent.

10. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"

11. People walk slower here.

12. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.

13. The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "Big ol'", as in "big ol' truck" or "big ol' boy." Eighty-five percent begin their new Southern- influenced dialect with this expression. One hundred percent are in denial about it.

14. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

15. Be advised: The "He needed killin'" defense is valid here.

16. If attending a funeral, remember, Southerners stay until the last shovel of dirt is thrown on and the tent is torn down.

17. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.

8. Most Southerners do not use turn signals, and they ignore those who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a Southern license plate, you may rest assured that it was on when the car was purchased.

19. Northerners can be identified by the spit on the inside of their car's windshield that comes from yelling at other drivers.

20. The winter wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait until November.

21. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store, it is just something you're supposed to do.

22. Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When you purchase one it is to be positioned directly in front of your trailer. This is logical, bearing in mind that the dish cost considerably more than the trailer and should, therefore, be displayed.

23. Tornadoes and Southern divorces have a lot in common. Either way, someone is going to lose a trailer.

24. Florida is not considered a Southern state. There are far more Yankees than Southerners living there.

25. In Southern churches you will hear the hymn, "All Glory, Laud and Honor." You will also hear expressions such as, "Laud, have mercy," "Good Laud," and "Laudy, Laudy, Laudy."

26. As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to drive on a vehicle known as a John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for such a vehicle.

27. You can ask a Southerner for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees and rocks, you're better off trying to find it yourself.

actually the part about Florida is not true. At least not for north Florida (which is jokingly called south Georgia), in the panhandle.

I only skimmed the original post, but did I miss the part about "Sweet Tea?"

(I just got back from a week in Charlottesville, VA, and one place actually asked if it was ok that the tea was not "sweet."

Or, "Lower Alabama."

Cute list, especially #23!

Actually, no one I know uses "y'all" as singular, so I would consider that wrong.

Oh yes! I grew up in southern VA, and sweet tea is a staple there! In high school I worked at Taco Bell and sometimes I had to make the sweet tea... it was really gross how much sugar I was required to put in it. Now I live in Northern VA, which isn't really "Southern," and my mom gets upset that restaurants here don't serve sweet tea whenever she visits me.

"Well, your honor, he needed killin'."


HILARIOUS!

OMG, what a great list. Y'all must Remember Missouri was Southern, beleive it or not.

First true battle of the War between the States between Missouri and Kansas.

Gettysburg of the West in the Kansas City Area.

What the hell is not Sweet Tea? Heathens that dont drink Sweet Tea?

Got to Have Sweet Tea!:)

4 Wheel Drive must have a whip antenna and a 30-06 in the rear window for varmits or dirt bags!

Hm wondered why Rams Man called me Bubba!

Never forget Good Ole Boy or Girl, down home just like a slice of heaven and earth.

Actually, we rarely were asked "You ain't from around here, are you?" when we were in Texas/Mississippi/Tennessee. Instead it was often asked as "Oh, are you from here?" or "Are you new to the area?"

Ah, Northern Canada I see!:)

I LOVE 1, 3, 4, 7, 8, 10, 11, 16, 17, 24, 25, 26, 27!

Yeah, that was one of my favorites, too.

what part of southern VA did you grow up in? I grew up in Suffolk....

It said nothing about the fact that we always pull to the shoulder of the road when a funeral procession passes. It's just so respectful.

big difference
 

One big difference I've noticed in travel up and down the east coast...It seems that northerners more urgently get out of the way of emergency vehicles (ambulance, police, fire, etc.) whereas, in the south, people act like they don't see them!

Also, the emergency vehicles up north DO NOT pause in intersections like they do in the south.

And, may I say that I have yet to see a car wreck in Nyack, NY in two/three months. But I was in Georgia and saw 6 wrecks on the same highway in three days. Makes me think...

Cosign. Y'all is plural, as in two of the four of y'all in attendance. All y'all means that all four of y'all better be there!!


As for he needed killin', I can totally understand that. Just yesterday, when the Scott Peterson verdict came down, I heard two or three people say, "He needs killin'," in response. I agreed.



And while I'm on my shoebox, when will Northerners learn that putting sugar into iced tea is NOT sweet tea?!?!?!? If I can't have sweet tea, I'll take it plain, thank you!

I take it that it's easy to get sweet tea in Pittsburgh? :confused:

I wondered when someone would say something about that. I don't know how, but I understand that there is a special way of "brewing" Sweet Tea which includes adding the sweetener early and boiling the tea slowly or something. It isn't just adding a lot of sugar.

Anyone who knows how care to explain how it's made?

I have my own secrets. ;) Someone else care to share?

I am not SSS1365 but I gotta represent Southern VA! :D I grew up in Virginia Beach. My mom still lives there

But SisMadly this list is SO true!

Re: Tips for Northerners Moving to the South
 

I will actually admit to this, it's true!

And I have yet to find one native southerner that can pronounce my daughter's name correctly...but then again, there's enough Mexicans here to make up for that.

The only thing that I know about sweet tea is that if you add the sugar before it cools, whenit cools, the sugar stays mixed with the tea. Also, for those truly obsessed with sweet tea done right (my Dad was after he went to Tulane,) make ice cubes out of the sweet tea. When you add the ice cubes, as they melt, the sweet tea doesn't dilute.

Southern transplant
 

I was a northerner who moved to the South when I was 16 years old. We moved all over the place b/c Dad was in the military and his last assignment was in the Florida panhandle (Lower Alabama). I went to school in Alabama and learned so much. Seventeen years later, I still choose to live here and can appreciate many of those comments. I had to laugh when I went to Ohio for a conference. A friend from Louisiana and I were talking; the director stopped for a second, and asked us a few questions. We asked her why, and she said she just loved hearing our southern accents!! My family in Colorado always teases me about my developed accent as well.

So I thought I would offer a few tips from my own experience!

1) No, that is not cream of wheat. They are called grits, and you do not put sugar on them.

2) Do not be surprised if some of the first questions folks will ask you include:
a. if you are kin to so and so
b. what church you attend

3) men will hold the doors open for you

and to quote a great song...

4) We say Grace and we say Ma'am.


I love it here!

Honestly, it's IMPOSSIBLE. I never found a decent glass during the short time we lived there.

Re: Re: Tips for Northerners Moving to the South
 

Is it mahr-ee-ah-nah??

A little town called Farmville, which is about an hour west of Richmond. Of course I don't have even a hint of a southern accent, so people don't believe me when I say I'm from there.

Always enjoyed being from the Middle of the USA.
\
Would go South and people would love to hear My Nothern accent.
\
Would go North and people would love to hear My Southern accent.

What is great, I have always seemed to pick up the local accent withing a short period of time and talk like a Native!:)

Ah life is good. Dont travel anymore though!:(

You've got to go to Manchester or the North Side. I've been to some places in the Hill District that have it too.

Re: Tips for Northerners Moving to the South
 

that is so funny. and in a lot of places in the South, it is very true

No, it's darn near impossible! That's why I spend as much time as possible on the road! It's funny, PhoenixAzul, but I was going to mention a place on the North Side that does it right, too! :)

As for the how to make it, we use a sugar syrup at home. It's not quite so gritty that way.

#21 is so funny, and so true!

My friend used to have a sign in her office that read, "I wasn't born in the south, but I sure got here as fast as I could" I always loved that!

Re: Tips for Northerners Moving to the South
 

VERY true!

sooo true. i'm in houston and i was wearing capris just last week. but let me add that when the temp drops to sixty degrees, don't be surprised to see leather jackets.



yep, same for rain. my mom, who's up in dallas which is my hometown, called one day and said "i saw on the news that it's supposed to rain real bad down there. have you been to the store yet. you better hurry before it gets too bad."



could be true but pleeeease don't think we all live in trailer homes.


yep! and will have the nerve to draw you a map of stuff you have no idea how to identify! my dad has that bad.

And the map will include such notable landmarks as "where the ol beer joint used to be" or "where that tree was that was hit by lighting and burned to the ground." I still have NO idea where have of the things are in my town because they all begin with a landmark that burned some 25 years ago....
Silver

really? where do you live now? I have a bunch of friends who live in VA beach. I live in NC, and my friends think it is crazy that our area of the state does not have counties or townships. It is a regualar drunken fight over it...until I pull out the map.:rolleyes:

This list is all too true...even more so now that I live in eastern NC!

Re: Tips for Northerners Moving to the South
 

Or a Southerner imitating an Upper-Midwestern accent. My friend went to Minneapolis for 3 days about one year ago and she still speaks with the accent that she supposedly "picked up" while there. It's like, dude, you grew up in Birmingham!

Love Tenn.

But try driving down the road and see a Land Mark sign and no damn place to stop and read it as is at road edge.:mad:

Re: Re: Re: Tips for Northerners Moving to the South
 

More or less...my neighbor just gave up and started calling her "Maury"

Re: Re: Re: Re: Tips for Northerners Moving to the South
 

:) What's the "more or less"? Is the "r" rolled?

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Tips for Northerners Moving to the South
 

Yeah, it's just hard to put Spanish into English

I thought everybody did this.