Debutante Gift?
 

I have a friend who has her Debutante Ball around Thanksgiving. I am unable to attend and didn't deb myself so I was wondering what is an appropriate gift? She's 19 years old and sophomore Tri-Delt at William & Mary. Thanks for the help!

People actually still have debutante balls? WOW! I seriously did not know that but then I live in California so we're strange tofu & soy eating freaks out here who all love to surf & say the word "like" a lot.

Anyway, it's hard to think of a gift b/c I really do not know what you'd give a debutante. Hmmm...Maybe a nice piece of jewelry with her birthstone like a necklace or a locket that has the date on it.

There are a few here in the SF Bay area:)

Re: Debutante Gift?
 

What about something engraved?

Has she registered anywhere? I'd go with that first. She'll get a ton of engraved jewelry, so if you're close with her parents, I'd ask them if there's something she'd really like (but in your price range).

Perhaps an engraved picture frame? Of course, if your friend is coming out at an organized event, it is possible that all the other girls will be receiving a picture frame already.

When I made my debut at home in New Orleans in 1998, I received engraved jewerly and my most favorite gift was a small Waterford crystal vase. It is simple and elegant. One of my escorts gave that to me. I also received a limoge box and light pink pearl necklace from Adler's in New Orleans. My sister received a Mignon Faget ring as a gift when she made her debut in 2001. I know that was her favorite gift.

A Vera Bradley bag with monogram???

A small Lane cedar jewelry box? I still have mine, and I've taken it everywhere.

A spa treatment before the big day?

Down here in the lowest part in Kollyfornia, there are a few deb balls.;)
I agree with some of the gifts that have been suggested. Another one would be personalized stationery.

Perhaps go buy a really nice book (from a staitionary store) and get her sisters/friends/family to write something sweet in there for her.

Can't go wrong with a gift certificate from [insert classy department store name here].

I would have loved to have a spa day the day before my debut!

I'd stay away from jewelry. She probably has enough friends and family who will take care of that category!

Of course Hawai`i debuts are nothing like the big Southern ones, but it's a big deal in my culture. I loved the jewelry I received, but my most favorite gifts were the vases and frames...I'm a flower and pictures whore! ;)

just curious...how do you go about having a deb ball? who gets chosen to have one? or can anyone have one?

1.) You might be invited to be in one based out of connections. You could also apply, I guess.

2.) Your family might throw you one. Coming-of-age parties are a part of a high school classmate's culture. Her parents threw her one and invited several girls in my year. I wasn't cool enough to be invited though.

My family's been a longtime member/supporter of the United Filipino Council here, and every year they invite 18-20 year old women to participate in their Debutante Ball. So yes, it could be through a family's connections in society. Mine was a dream -- it was held at Washington Place, the governor's mansion.

Then you have the individual "coming out" galas thrown by families whose daughters weren't invited to the really big one. The idea's the same -- formally introduce the girl to Hawaii society -- but at the same time the parents like to show off how much money they have (to get back at being snubbed by the UFCH).

The only one I knew of in Pittsburgh was the St. Joan of Arc ball...thrown by the Diocese of Pittsburgh to recognize young women who performed community service/good works and were catholic (i believe, I could be wrong). But I remember my good friend was chosen and she had the most beautiful dress.

I believe there are only two recognized ones left in Toronto. One is the Helicon Ball, thrown by the (Hungarian) Helicon Society of Toronto. The other is The Cotillion Ball, which is held by a Carribean society. I tried to get one started for the Dragon Ball, which is a big deal fundraiser for the Yee Hong Geriatric Centre (seniors' centre for Chinese speakers), but it didn't work out.

There's the Cinderella Ball too, but the closest I've gotten to that is knowing a guy who was an escort.

There are more in Pittsburgh; there's one for hospital volunteers (the St. Cecelia, but you don't have to be Catholic), one for Polish women (I forget the name), the Southern Club, etc, etc.

I think every city has several, it's just finding the "Right One" that becomes important (in some minds).


I loved loved loved the ideas of a day at a spa or the Waterford vases! When I got married, my bridesmaids all got Waterford. It's gorgeous and never goes out of style!

I know my friend was a deb. and it was a ball thrown by foundation supporting a hospital I believe.

I just saw this - I had a friend who came out at the Cinderella Ball (but it was before I met her). The pictures are incredible!

I had a sweet sixteen which is just like a deb ball only i had mine while still in HS its a big deal in the southwest amongst mexican american families and a lot of fun .... i dont know about being a part of any association to have one .... In San Antonio Texas its just tradition you know and who gets to go well ofcourse your family and the sponsers (those that helped to pay for the party) the court of honor and their guest and anyone else the deb. wants to invite .... I have been to many over the years and still have more to go too .... w00t for a big family with kids still approcaching the 15 - 16 yr mark which is the usual time when we have them

I almost forgot about the gift
 

I forgot bout the gift ....

engraved stuff is ok and all but sometimes you can get to much of that ... I know i got it all the watch and jewlry and frames and dolls etc etc .... the best gifts came from my friends which were journals and cds and necklaces with oils and special pendants on them ... sometimes its the fun things that we remember and not the overpriced frilly shit ... thats just my opinion though

I don't think 16 is too young to be a deb. The people I spoke with at the Helicon society recommend that the deb still be in high school, because the Helicon Ball is held in February, right before Reading Week (second semester break). They don't want girls to come home "just because".

I didnt think 16 was to young to have one either .... some ppl find it weird that i had one at 16 when i told them about it at college ... for me its the norm and 18 and 19 seems like whoa

There are many debutante balls in New York City between Thanksgiving and the first week of the New Year.
The Mayflower Ball is for descendants of the Mayflower. They used to have their balls at the Waldorf and the Plaza Hotels, but now it's held at the University Club.
At the International Debutante Ball each deb has two dates: one in White Tie and the other in military uniform.
The Junior League also has one of the more exclusive debutante balls.

The movie "Metropolitan" shows the debutante season in NYC.

My friend was 20 or 21 when she made her debut. Her photograph was in the New York Times. :)

The last deb ball in Vancouver died out in about 1989. It was called the Governor's Ball and the Lt. Gov was the guest of honor in attendance.

<hijak>

Mr. A and I are going to hit this one next year. (Cant' furnish a new house and go to a ball in NYC in the same year. ;) )

If we end up having daughters, we're making sure they know this is an option if they'd like to debut.

</hijak>

--add

Sixteen isn't too young, but a lot of people consider your debut the point in time after which you can date.

I wasn't allowed to date until I was eighteen, so obviously a debut at sixteen would've been silly for me.

I'm not so sure about debuts at 20, 21, 22. One of my sisters *just* had one, and she's 23 (I think?) I'm guessing the meaning of the debut has moved less from "I can date now, and here's my introduction to society" to more of an, "I'm eligible for marriage now, and here's my introduction to society as a woman in my own right."

Hey Everyone,

Thanks so much for the help! It was also fun to read everyone's deb stories or other info. My dad told me I could of made a debut in Cincinnati but by the time that rolled aorund, I was away in college and they were planning to move down south anyhow. I've been looking at some of the silver pendents Tiffany's has and they may fit what I am looking for.

Thanks!

That's sad :( So many people don't even know what debutantes are anymore, or don't know how to get their daughter into one.

I just saw this thread too. I debuted in Atlanta. Its a huge deal in Atlanta, and all based on who you know, you have to have a former debute request an application for you.

Anyways, I got several engraved things, some nice jewelry, my fav. gift which might sound corny, was when someone donated money in my name to my favorite charity.

A few girls that debuted and went to high school with me, also went to Willam and Mary.

Let me know when you come to New York. :) Maybe I can crash the ball. ;)

Question about the Junior League ball in New York (as well as other Junior League balls): Is this for daughters of League members?

el paso has a symphony debutante ball. a black sorority also has a deb ball.

sounds sort of similar to a quinceanera party ( a sweet 15 party).

Are there any cultural equivalent for males?

Mine wasn't SO huge but it was fun and I enjoyed the party. There definetly were some big bashes at a few hotels and resturants around our town. I guess it all depends on the money a family has and what they choose to spend it on. My town had a very diverse group of lower and upper middle class so there were classy but small parties like mine and big bashes with professionally done invitations and the party at the Radisson like some of my friend's had. I was never at a party with escorts but there was usually a candle ceremony. For every candle the girl chose either family or friends to speak of and then they came up and helped her light the candle. It was sweet.