Should you "pledge" an Auxiliary Group?
 

I am sort of new to greek buisness... but I was approached by a member of Alpha Angels
and asked if I wanted to join them. I then talked to my sister (AKA) and she totally went off the deep end about these women, and sugguested that I definitely not join because itwould jepardize my admission into any sorority if I did want to pledge in the
future. What is the beef between these ladies... Que pearl, Kappa Diamonds, Sigma
Doves, and the ladies of AKA, DST, ZPhiB and SGRho? Are they actual organizations that
are bound with the fraternities they cling around? Or are they the doormats and free
(Um, Um,) that my sister claims them to be? Should you join a auxillary if you plan to pledge a sorority in the NPHC? Also do you find as greeks any of their pratices disrespectful?


I would love some feedback...


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In complete darkness we are all the same... It is only our knowledge and wisdom that separates us... Don't let your eyes deceive you

The Diva Truth

this is the topic that will not die. your sister is correct in that according your yard, it may jeopardize your chances of pledging a sorority. the beef that exists is rooted in a lack of respect by some sweethearts for sorority members. some see themselves as sororities and true sisters to the fraternity. it should be noted that all 9 national organizations have policies which forbid their collegiate chapters from making or affiliating with sweethearts because of the liability that they present to the organization. ultimately, the choice is yours. just be aware that it might make your road to pledging a little rockier.

i think that most greek sororities look upon these groups as a generic portion of the real thing. Speaking for my self, as a delta, i totally disagree with pledging a social group just to get close to that specific fraternity. Not all social groups are about this but most of them are. Do your research on the group and see what there reputation is on campus. you don't want to be apart of any thing that is not positive and trying to help others.

This really isn't a reply, it is more of a question that i have that is related to this subject. Here is my situation and question.

I was approached a while ago about becoming a sweetheart. Not knowing anything about any of this, I started asking the few greek ladies that i had the opportunity of getting to know (ladies that i respected and whose opinion i valued), outside of the ones that are in my family. They told me they didn't see anything wrong with it and that some of them had been sweets; although none were the same one as me. Time went by and these same ladies seemingly cut off all lines of communication with me. I would see them and i guess that i would become invisible, making me feel as if i had done something wrong. I have read the other post about sweethearts on this message board and understand why your organization or any other would look down on the things they did. However, in our defense, the group of girls that i was with, never even came that close to being sorrity-like. We didn't have a show or anything like that. The only way that anyone knew about us was if they saw us with them - even that wasn't a common thing. Our Big Brothers really did treat us like their little sisters. There was no disrespect going on anywhere. We supported the events that they had and they support the events that our various non-related organizations had.

I guess that i am asking if anyone can clarify what it is that would be seen as wrong with that?

I do want to become a member of this organization one day, and would like to make sure that i haven't made life too hard for myself because of this. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/confused.gif

Thank you

Mancala,

Your organization could do all of the community service in the world, but if you have just one member doing the opposite, your entire org. is labeled. I am not totally against lis. orgs. because 3 of my L.S.' were members. But on my old campus, the little sister groups did not do any community service. All you saw them do was wear their 'nalia, do calls, and strut at parties among other things. Again, it just depends on your campus and the attitude they have towards these groups. Just a little FYI, the Alphas at my school are not allowed to have angels or sweethearts. This is comes straight from their advisor's mouth and he is a charter chapter member. So, if an Alpha advisor won't let them support or have alpha angels, what does that say about AA's legitimacy.

a read a similar thread in the AKA forum. i would check that out. one of their members posted a response of an Alpha Angel that i think really accurately represents what is wrong with the auxillary system. in accord with c&c1913, i would question something that the advisor opposes. in fact it is a NPHC rule against any member org sponsoring sweethearts. i know Delta has a strict policy against this. so, if national orgs. have a problem i would really wonder if i am acting in concert with the dictates of the org. and more to the point, on these various message boards, i see very few actual fraternity member endorcing or supporting these women that have sacrificed so much to be affiliated with them. i have said this before it seems a lot to go through to be diss by other bruhs, sorors and the general public. it is hard to see the benefits.

I am NOT of an greek org. But, I DO have an opinion. One of the Frats.' "girls" groups (what org. that is will remain unamed), has become a REAL organization at my school. They have their won Constitution and everything. They are able to request money from the university for their functions. (Not as much as the REAL orgs., but they are able to get it). I think this may be because I go to a prodomitally white school http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/confused.gif. I am totally against this because the Delta Sigma Theta, Inc., AKA's, ZPhiB, and SGRho have a real history for their names and letters http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/frown.gif. Somebody.......give a words or two on this matter. Sorry if anything is misspelled http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif!!!

[This message has been edited by gypsy (edited May 10, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by gypsy (edited May 10, 2000).]

Gypsy,

I can relate to your post. At my old school the KKI's wanted to be become an university recognized organization. But first, they had to drop the name kappa kourts and they changed it krimson kourts, to say that they are separate from KAPsi . I know they submitted a constitution, but i'm not sure if the university accepted it. (maybe Ms CrimsonCream can help jog my memory! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif) I know they did a car wash, but as for performing public service, no. Because even after going to all that, they still would carry canes, throw up the kappa sign, strut with the kappas, and wear 'nalia that said nupes' lil' sis, etc. So everyone wondered why bother to say you are a separate organization from the kappas, but you continue to do the same things that little sister groups do. Don't get me wrong, i am not hating on any organization, they do their thing and we do ours. Just my $.13 worth! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

the national orgs have a great deal to do with the official separation from a liability standpoint. but, in my estimation, it is just a smoke screen because they still act like sweethearts not an autonomous org. they have justy found a loop hole to still exist.

I read with much interest the replies to this topic. I think these groups are detrimental in general, both to the persons involved and to the organizations that they purport to support!! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/frown.gif. If they are females supporting a frat, they can be easily misconstrued. All-in-all, if you are interested in a specific GLO, there are better ways to make yourself known to them.

We can't stop these auxillary organizations from "doing their thing," but we do disassociate ourselves by stating that we do not condone little brother or little sister organizations.

My opinion, and this is my observation at HBCUs, those who get involved in these auxillary oganizations want to "belong." Because of impatience and anxiety they jump into something superficial perhaps because no one told them the consequences they might face instead of sitting back and waiting on their time...the right time.

"Be anxious for nothing but in everything with through prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Phil 4:6-7

Have any of you come across men that CLAIM to be our aux.? I have met beauxs and dudes. I just can't give them no love!!!

1) I waited too long and worked too hard to feel love for some brotha throwing up my sign and wearing my symbols.

2) I have been fortunate enough to meet and spend time with past National officers and older sorors who tell stories about the founders and their vision. No where in that vision is there an auxiliary!!!!

Y'all know how the song goes..."if it was good enough for the founders then it's good enough for me."

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B safe,
KMC

At the school I attended, the Kappa Sweets tried the same thing that C&C spoke of, but to no avail. I was approached several times to be an Alpha Angel but declined. My philosophy that if I'm going to work so hard for something, and be so proud to represent an organization, I'm going to have ALL THREE of my letters, not just one. I made the mistake of saying this loudly on the yard one day, and a Kappa sweet proclaimed that "...that's good that you feel that way, because you will NEVER be a Kappa Sweet and you will NEVER wear crimson and cream!" Man, I would love to take a picture of her face if she ever saw me in some 'nalia now!

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Deltaluv

From reading through these posts and others on this site, I get the feeling that sweethearts and little sisters are viewed in a more positive light in predominantly caucasian GLOs than they are in predominantly BGLOs....I could be wrong though.

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Kelli
12-DN-94
SSU c/o 1997

not really soror. when i was a freshman there were some kappa and alpha sweethearts, by my senior year their were none. both chapters did away with them because they kept up too much mess in the chapter, with their own girlfriends and the sororities on campus. they did not have a positive image at all.

the best advice i can give you is to follow your heart. dont do anything you will later be ashamed of. i AM a sweetheart, forever true. i wish to someday pledge. i have known what i wanted to pledge since i knew what a sorority was, but i saw being a sweetheart as a stepping stone. there a several girls from my line that have gone on to get their three letters. there is alot of love that i have learned and was taught by my sisters and brothers that i hope to share one day with the lovely ladies of whatever i choose to pledge because the more i learn about them the more i know in my heart that i have alot that i can bring to their organization.
Hope that my words have brought you some light from the inside.

I don't understand why if you first decided to join an Aux Group due to what ever the reason maybe, then you decided to join a sorority as well why would you be prejudged???

I agree with the person that said joining a Aux Group is just a stepping stone. As long as your heart is in everything that you do and you have the credentials why does anything else matter???

Help me out those who are in an Aux group.

1. Would you pledge a sorority first then an Auxillary?

2. Is it really an Auxillary, because aux. are parts of a larger entity. I know we don't have auxillaries in Delta.

2. If you are a Kappa Kourt, Alpha Angel, Omega Gem/Pearl, Sigma Sweet, how are you bonding with your "sisters" or being taught by your "sisters" when those are male organizations (the larger entity)

3. How can you learn to bond like sisters if those who are teaching, training, etc. are not a part of a Sorority. Who is the authority here?

Help me out here because I honestly don't get it.

Hypothetical Scenario: I get to college and all I've ever known is I want to be in a certain sorority. Well, I know the Angels are affiliated with the Alphas, and the Pearls, with the Ques, etc. (you following me?) and so the Alpha and the AKAs are frat/soror, Ques/Deltas, etc. (so everyone thinks), and well if I become a little sister to them then I can get close and meet their Sorors. (NOT!!)

So, again I'm trying to understand the logic of little sister organizations. Someone, please enlighten me. Right now, my opinion is little sister organizations are little sisters to fraternities. So, what's the connection to sororities?

The only DUMB question is one that is NOT asked.


[This message has been edited by DirectorDST99 (edited June 03, 2000).]

This is the way that ours worked.

The "old head diamonds" came in and worked with us and quite a few of them have moved on to their various sororities. They made us learn stuff that i guess a line pursuing a sorority would about each other. We had to be very sharp when it came to knowing about each other. We bonded with those ladies, and the guys were basically around. We were more of their (the guys not the girls) little sisters. At least that is the way that my group was, but we never did anything right anyway.

The connection that we had with the girls was that we got to know them and it help take away some of the fear when it came to getting to know them. They could already see that we were willing to work for something that we wanted to be a part of. Although they don't know what it is that i want to be, they know me and i feel very comfortable talking to them (some of them anyway).

I have seen the topic of service on here a lot. I am fully aware that you can do community service on your own, but working with a larger group is still service. Our big brothers always had us out somewhere doing something, be it from delivering sandwiches at midnight to a homeless shelter to picking up trash on the highway... service was done. and it was also through the service that you met the ladies. So i do believe that being a member of an auxilary group has benifitted me.

To be HONEST with everyone I really don't understand Aux Groups myself. I don't really think someone that has pledged a Sororoity will want to pledge a Aux, due Sororities being known worldwide Organization and Aux are band.

The are several Women that I know that belong to Aux Groups. From what I know, they were told the only difference between an Aux and a Sororoity was the 1 letter compared to the 3, they bonded with the sisterhood, and they have done their Community Service. Due to them not knowing the difference between an Aux and a Sorority they choose the Aux. Either, because Aux were well known on campus, or whatever other reasons. I feel they should have done more research before making their decision because, now that they have learned more about Sororities and Aux they want to go on pledge a Sorority.

Most of the Sororities at their Campuses are giving them a lot of flack about the whole issue, which in my opinion really shouldn't be the case. They were ignorant about the Aux and Sorority issue but now they have seen the light I don't understand what the big problem is.

The auxillary group I was in was all a learning experience to me. It was very similar to Mancala's group. I did not see our group as a problem because we never tried to be something that we weren't. We knew that we were not part of the NPHC, and we did not act as if we were, or were trying to be. In fact the only way people knew we even existed was by word of mouth. To me, being in an auxillary was a chance to form a close bond with a group of other girls, and to get to form a brother/sister bond with a group of guys that i knew next to nothing about when I first entered college. It also helped me to meet various other people from some of the other BGLO's because some of them worked with us, and as we helped the guys do community service, and various activites, we also met others. I understand that some aux. groups take their "calls" and "chants" to the limit, but that wasn't the case with us. I hope that all the auxillary groups aren't viewed the same way, because some are defenitely stepping over their boundaries according to what I have read in previous replies. Well I guess I have said enough. May God Bless you all http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif
Peace and Love,
Ambitious 1

[This message has been edited by ambitious 1 (edited June 04, 2000).]

my question is why would anyone affiliate themselves with a group of people without first finding out what their goals and values are? additionally, why wouldn't they consider any drawback that membership would entail? before, i made the decision to actively pursue Delta, I made sure that knew as much as i could about the organization before making my interest known and making any commitment.

i think sometimes we try to put the best possible spin on bad situations. lots of sweethearts have enjoyed their experience, but, there are also those who regret it.

i have said before that i find it very telling that very few fraternity members will defend their auxillaries or even discuss them. the women seen to be out there on their own when they are questioned about their validity or purpose.



[This message has been edited by dstbrat (edited June 05, 2000).]

I would have to agree with you, they are just out there on there own. I would have to say after realizing this and geting a dose of reality they tend to want to move on to a Sorority. So that they can build up that sisterhood, and anything they may be lacking due to pledging a Aux at first.

So if in-turn many do decided to go on to pledge a Sorority does that mean that they should not be given that opportunity???

Just because they make a decision without looking into it first, or going on the trust of someone else, that shouldn't discount anyone from doing anything that's in their heart.

We all have to live an learn. Plus, nobody is perfect.

In regards to what Taz-Shedevil said about not looking into what it is that one was trying to do, i have one comment to make. When i was approached with the whole "sweetheart" thing, I asked all the people that i could find that might have some knowledge about it, i even asked some Deltas that used to be sweets. The thing is that no one had anything negative to say about it. It probably is my fault that i didn't know about this site before hand, but time was wearing down and i had to make a decision, so i had to reason to think that it could have been bad. yes this is going on the trust of someone else but it was so many people that it really didn't seem bad.
http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif

I was not told until afterwards that it may have not been a good thing to do. I was told by a friend of my sister's that is a Delta. By the time she told me that some aux. groups are seen as bad, our so called "process" was over. I wish that I would have spoken to her before hand so that I could have known how sororities view some auxillary groups. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

Bringing this back up for those who are interested. It most definitely was a hot topic.

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Director #2
LMAC
Spr 99

At my school, there are no aux groups(at least none that I know of) Can anyone tell me what exactly it is that they do. I have an idea, but I don't want to just assume.

At my school we did have sweets for my godmother was a Kappa Sweetheart back in the early 80's. However, today all the auxiliary groups are underground. WE know that the Sigmas recruit fresh"meat" to be their Doves and does Lord knows what w/them. Also the Kappa's still have sweethearts to this day in which I'm told they do some type of community service, but never publicly...it was also "rumored" that their sweets got annoyed one day and had their Spring 1999 line dropped and a few members put on probation...but only those members know the whole truth being you can't believe word of mouth. Anyway, as far as Que Pearls or Alpha Angels I haven't heard of anything at my school..

so is my assumption right, if you know what I mean?

Well, there is so much to be said on this topic...Lawd help!!!

Well, I am a Sigma Carnation. My reasons for becoming a Carnation were different from anyone on my court. First, We are not Sigma Sweets, Doves, Silhouettes...we are Carnations: a flower that blooms in the winter. I believe that there is something in a name. The Sigmas took the time to change the name to set us apart from the other lis sis programs on campus.
The Sigma Carnation program is truly a mentorship program. There was no foolishness during my court year. Another reason I became a Carnation was because unlike the Kappa Sweets, Alpha Sweets, and ther Iota Sweets on this campus, we DO NOT HAVE A PROCESS!!!!!!! Believe me I'm not being made my MEN....for their organizaton, to be a fundraiser for them or a service project to benifit their chapter. I am a strong woman and I did not join to belong, stroll or party walk, step, or to do service. I joined the mentorship program to prove a point...That a little sister is not a frat rat, is intellegant, community oriented, can be and is respected by sororities on this campus. This program does not make me. This program has been a bridge for GDI's to greek life on this campus. When this campus' sororities begin the observation period they look at some of us first because we are around them, not just the Sigmas but all greeks. I have been a leader to my court. When I was approached to join, I confronted other greeks and old Carnations for advice because I did'nt want to perceived as something that I am not. I did not want anything to get in the way of my education or any opportunity to join the sorority of my choice. This was my chance to stand out and make a difference. Some of my court sisters are Sigma groupies, and they just want to stroll...but you can't weed out all of the bad ones....and because of their behavior they have been marked by all greeks on this campus. I never strolled, stepped, or have ever disrespected any sorority or the Zeta's by thinking that I am the Sigma's Sister. A big problem the soroities have with lil sisters is that some don't recognize that they are not a part of the greek system, and that they do not understand that they are not a seperate org. I have developed frienships with Delta's, Zeta's, and SGRho's. My being in the program has not made me an outcast...it put me in the public eye more and from that greeks took the time to get to know me and I them. That is a goal of the program, and I commend the Sigma's of my school for their effective efforts and I commend the Zeta's for their support. I respect the greeks on my campus and have in turn earned their respect...I thank God that I was able to make the difference that I set out to make. My favorite saying is "Be the change you want to see in the world" -Ghandi ....That is what I strive for every day of my life.

Okay, at my school aux. groups are illegal but yet the Omegas "crossed" some Omega Gems. No Greeks embraced them b/c we all knew it was illegal anyway and the Omegas reputations were already terrible so most people had no respect for those girls. As a Delta I had none. The girls came out loud and nasty to alot of us and that turned us off even more.
Well the story gets better...my Sands and some of my friends outside of Delta started talking to some of the members and asking them why they pledged that and ALL 10 of those girls said that they were recruited by the Omegas and told that becoming a Gem would automatically allow them to pledge Delta! Needless to say my Sands and I have clowned and told those girls they should've known that wasn't true b/c NO DELTA was EVER at their "pledge" sessions. Some of the girls are very nice and intelligent but they pledged that organization ONLY to become Deltas which was stupid. If you want to pledge those organizations or any sorority PLEASE do it b/c that's what is in your heart. Not to make a pathway into another organization.

this subject is interesting as well as controversial. i am am/was a kappa diamond. when i was first introduced to the greek system i had no idea of the steps to take to become greek, for i was a freshmen. and this was my introduction. we interacted with other greeks and participated in greek themed events. WE DID NOT THINK WE WERE A SORORITY. WE WERE CONSTANTLY TOLD WERE NOT A SORORITY. *lol* some secretly inspired to join those sororities....which is natural.

most of the fraternities on my campus had sweethearts and even some of the sororities on campus had gents or miackas (sp??)

then again this was all before the aux were banned

now and days, it seems like it frowned upon. my experience with the kappa's on my campus was a great one. we weren't hazed or forced to do anything we didn't want to do. The guys were very repectfully, i will admit. we participated in several service acts. it was very funny and the experiences are something i will never forget. many of my sister's went on to join other sororities and organizations.

being a diamond was my first year at school. after my introduction to the greek system. i moved on to bigger and better things. i pledged and i mean pledged Delta. but i still have a place in my heart for The Diamonds of BCC.

you wouldn't believe how many sorors and people i've met since then they have been affiliated with an aux group.

...Could my spelling be any worse? http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif Forgive a sistah! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

This reminded me of the story a Soror told me about the Gems that came out at my school last spring. Some of them had collars, were barking, walking on hands and knees, and had their tongues hanging out! Yet a couple of them have indicated that they want to be a Woman of DST, hmmmmm.........


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Sisterhood, Scholarship, & Service
Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.
"Intelligence is the Torch of Wisdom"

Oh my God, this one blew me away. I weep for sisters all of them...

I will have my LS visit this topic, because she was a Que-Essence on our campus before she became a Delta. Now I have seen some things, and I've seen some more things in my 27 years of living, regarding greek activites, but that one took the cake.

I just wanted to thank the ladies who posted their POSITIVE experiences with aux. organizations. It is reassuring to know that the behavior some of us have seen on our campuses is not how all aux. members behave. I have a question though. What are everyone's thoughts as to how "everything" in the NPHC system (ie pledging, aux. orgs, step shows) when from what it was to what we're dealing with now. Meaning, how did something where positivity was the norm become normally not-so-positive.

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Kelli
Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.
12-Delta Nu-94
MAL, Southern Region
Savannah State University c/o 1997

I'm wondering now if these auxillaries have rituals and the whole nine. If they do, then it seems as though they really aren't an auxillary but "wannabe" sororities and even fraternities.

I think they should dig deep into the beginning of their existence and find out who and what they are.

I don't know what auxillaries WERE like back in the day, but I do know that TODAY, I would not advise anyone to join one. While their intentions may be sincere, their public display of continued disrespect for themselves and the sororities and fraternities they "claim" is an embarassment.

I say BAN auxillaries from college campuses unless they are bound by a sorority or fraternity's constitution...and I think only one auxillary can claim that.

You don't see any graduate chapters clinging and holding on to auxillaries do you?

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Director #2
LMAC
Spr 99

i think the main issue is that there is no continuity. in some place the members of the org bring them in and in others their big brother/sister conduct their activites. in some places the act like greeks in other places they don't. there is also no real way to regualate or govern them is they are not registered or recognized. so on many fronts their are real liability questions for the organizations and the schools where they are active.

The whole question of aux is a difficult one.
I have been taught by older Sorors that what exists today is not what they once were. Traditionally sweethearts were the girl friends and wives of frat members. This is why even today the frats sing their sweetheart songs to the brides of frat at weddings but NOT to their "sweets". ALso, Becasue these orgs are illegal they are far from uniform. Some schools they "pledge", others they don;t. Some they run their own activities others they are about doing what the men direct them to do to promote the men;s activities and the name of the fraternity. The idea of doing work in the name of the frat, an organization that you do not belong to and that you are not recognized by is why a lotof Sororities look down on them. Many feel like strong, educated Black women do not need to be about working behind the scenes for men or even along side them if you are not and cannot be on par with them in the org.

I think it is hard to make a hard and fadt statement about them as they vary greatly.