a situation...greek brothers only
 

hey people...

i have a question to ask...it's specifically for the 5 frats of the divine 9.

and i would like an honest opinion or what would you do in that situation, sorors and my greek sisters, please also answer and tell me what you think.

guys-

suppose....you are in an intimate relationship with a female who is also greek. let's say a little over a year. she sleeps at your house quite a while and you are quite comfortable with her. one day, you come home and she is chilling in your house with your fraternity robe on that has your letter on it. (she just stepped out the shower and it was cold)

would you gt upset with her and demand for her to take it off?

before i give my input...i am interested in what you would say or do.




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MaMaBuddha

Devastating
Stimulating
Tantalizing
_________________________

Imaginer un métro rempli avec les anges tombés...

It would upset me BECAUSE: 1)I would've bought her a special robe with her own letters, 2)I would expect her to wear it for that purpose,and finally 3)being greek, she should know better than to put on my letters.
I would not snatch it off; I would however tell her to never put it on again.

Would she be wrong if she had a t-shirt that said, "my boyfriend is a ....." with your letters on it?

Because if it isn't wrong, I really don't see a difference because both items still have your letters on it.

There's nothing wrong with it if Alpha is spelled out; it's when you have the GREEK LETTERS that there's a problem. You cannot have the greek letters on and not be a member. That is the purpose of incorporation, and trademark.

I would NOT put it on!

And, I would not want him to touch any of my items, either. We all should know better than that! Greek or non-greek,

DO NOT TOUCH!

that's my OPINION!

MAMABUDDHA:

I would not have a problem with it at all. Especially behind closed doors, it is not a problem whatsoever. If we have that kind of relationship and you are my acknowledged girlfriend, it is not an issue. A lot of younger Bruhs have a problem with it, but I don't. Conversely, I would not be caught dead in any sorority para or something like "My Girl is A XYZ"

the reason i asked because that situation happened to a friend of mine and she asked my honest opinion.

it made me question a few older greeks from back in the day. some answers i received were:

if she was my girlfriend or sweetheart-back then you let your sweetheart(girlfriend) wear your jacket of sweater, to let everyone know that you were together.

then again time were different back and chivarly was in...now and days, you rarely see it.

then that brought the thought to my mind....dang, she stepped out the shower and needed something to through on and that might have been the nearest thing at hand and he got pissed because she put his robe on.


then that brought in the mind of carrying... say an umbrella. if it was pouring rain outside and one of my family or co-workers asked to borrow my umbrella to run to the store or out to car to grab something.

would i lend it to them, with concern in my mind of them getting wet?

or

should i be more concerned that my letters are on the umbrella someone might mistake them to be member of my org?

but I can imagine my grandma asking to borrow my umbrella and me saying no...I can imagine a POP!!! in the lips. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif


http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif
thank the lord that hasn't happened!!! i couldn't bare getting POPed in the lips by g-ma




[This message has been edited by MaMaBuddha (edited February 28, 2001).]

Doggystyles...

i tend to agree with you.

The Original Ape, i see your point, but i disagree especially if she was your girl.

sunnydays...although the thought of my man (righhhhhttt!) in a shirt that says "my girl is a DST" is cute...i don't think i'd be able to handle it. *lol*

the only thing i hate is if it was raining and i was walking down the street with my man(righttttt!)who happened to be greek and it was either freezing, raining or a snow storm and he didn't offer me his jacket and we were in a relationship. he would be in the dog house!!! (no pun intended)

There is a difference between someone putting a top or some other type of clothing on with anotther person's letters on it/them and this situation. If the girl got out of the shower and needed something to wrap up in to go from the bathroom to the bedroom and then would quickly take off the item and put on her regular clothes, then that is not a big deal, especialy if this was her man's robe. If she was to go outside and go out to the store or something with her man's lettered t-shirt on, that is different...that is WRONG.

If it had been me in that situation, I would have told my man off for fussing at me or even getting that mad simply because I wrapped up in his robe for a minute to go from the bathroom to the bedroom. If we are close and in a relationship he should know better than to do me like that, especially if I was in my OWN organization and he knew the extent of my pride in it. As far as him wearing my robe, I don't really see that happening simply because a man would rather walk around bukked nekkid before putting on a woman's ANYTHING!! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

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P.H.A.S.A.D.
#14
D.S.G.H.O.S.T.S.
LAMBDA
4/15/00

My response is this if the above scenario happened to me, once I step out the shower, I towel off and put on clothes/my own robe, etc. MOst likely if she is over there and has "sleepovers" http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif with her man, wouldn't she have her own robe over his house as well?

Well if not, I would not have put his robe on out of respect. Instead grab a sweatshirt and sweats of his that are sans Greek Letters.

I was on a listserve and the question of letting your significant other carry your umbrella or wear your jacket if inclement weather came up. If I were without an umbrella and he had his, I would hope he would be enough of a gentleman to hold the umbrella over me. I would reciprocate if the show were on the other foot.

i could see a problem if a young lady wore his greek letters to the store.

but my thing is in the house as Doggystyle stated behind closed doors if okay.

the umbrella situatuion is something else totally.

ROFLMAO at you MaMaBuddha! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

This whole topic is just funny to me. Why does a robe need to have greek letters on it anyway? Or an umbrella? I'm sorry but I just think its tacky to put letters on every inanimate object.

So now I have a question. For those of you that have the license plate with greek letters on the front of your car, how do you feel about letting your man or woman drive your car?

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"Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth." ~Mohammed Ali

LOL

LET'S SEE HOW YOU FEEL AFTER/WHEN YOU CROSS THE BURNING SANDS... http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

CRIMSON TIDE4: I AGREE 19.08% http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif

As a general rule, I would expect that non-members of Phi Beta Sigma Fraternity, Inc. would show the proper respect and not wear the letters, especially if it is someone I am intimate with.

However, there are exceptions to every rule.

Given the fact scenario presented, I would not be upset.

Mamabuddah,

I thought that question was a bit tricky! First of all, if she's up in my house/not my apartment

I would have a problem if I came home and my man had on anything with my letters on it.

I find it interesting that the woman was in a BGLO. Because my boyfriend and I are both Greeak, we both know the rules. Basically I would think all the rules were known.

Although, I did pose this question to him and his response was similar to Doggystyle's. That is in the privacy of his spot, he wouldn't see a problem. Howeverm I said, what if I had on a shirt and some of your Frat were coming over and he said then that would not be ok. In other words, what is done in the privacy of your spot is between the two of you anyways. So if I am getting up out of the (let's say bed) and I put on a shirt (not with letters but with the name of the org) to go the the restroom then that's okay.

Midwest:

A lot of people put their letters on things such as robes (and you, I do have one).

AKA2D: I hear ya loud and clear.

Deltabrat,

No offense intended. If you like your robe, I love it for you. As AKA2D'91 pointed out, I can't really relate, since I'm not greek. I have seen some paraphernalia websites and I think letters on nightgowns, bedspreads and things of that nature is going overboard. This is just one woman's opinion.

And y'all still haven't answered my question. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

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"Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth." ~Mohammed Ali



[This message has been edited by MIDWESTDIVA (edited February 28, 2001).]

I don't have a license plate on the front of my car! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/tongue.gif

Issue #1: I agree with DoggyStyle. Although I HIGHLY DOUBT my man (IF I had one) would wear anything with my letters onit (assuming he'd be able to fit it), if it's within the confiles of my house, there shouldn't be a problem...depending on what he's doing. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif

Issue #2 (concerning carrying my Delta umbrella). NOPE, not alone. I'll be happy to go with if you're running to the car or some short distance like that if that's the only umbrella I have, but I usually keep an extra with me (in my car, in the house and yes, at work because I'm forgetful like that & you never know when it's going to rain), so that's not an issue for me. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif

Like AKA2D'91, I don't have a plate on the front of my car, but I do have a frame on the back. I am not going through the drama of getting my hands dirty taking it off everytime a non-Soror wants to use my car. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif

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Kelli
Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.
12-Delta Nu-94
MAL, Southern Region

[This message has been edited by 12dn94dst (edited February 28, 2001).]

hmmmmm...

midwestdiva brought up a good point about the license plate. i did have a plate on my car and my man (at very very very long time ago http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/tongue.gif ) use to ride out in my car all the time.

he went as so much to purchase a plate that said Alpha/Delta.


soror deltabrat,
i think i too would be a bit peeved if my man (righhhhtttt) had my letters on. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

so...i have a blanket with our letters and crest on it. it is so huge, fabulous and warm---the question that lies here is sleeping on it or under it with another person????

would you consider that disrespecting????

ummmmmmmmmmm. I have the blanket, too! I guess I would not want non-Sorors with it, since I keep it at my mother's house in our "AKA corner"! LOL http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/tongue.gif

If I had it here with me, I guess I would have to put it on a chair (for show) and pull out one of those "other" blankets to keep us warm.... http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif

Ladies, I don't see the big deal with an umbrella if it is raining or a jacket if it is cold. If you are my wife or girlfriend, any true Omega would respect the need of the situation. But casual wear is a no-no. The car tag is no big deal, unless it is a same sex situation, then it gets tricky.

WOW!

I don't know if I would make my man sleep on the floor or bundle up with my DST blanket and he have one sheet shivering in the corner while we were sleep. I would probably take it off to avoid confusion although I am not likely to feel funny about that.

License plates are a trip because I have sped up, run over people, run red lights, etc to catch up with a Soror only to find out it was a man in the car. Like DANG!

Ooh! DST/APA plates or DST/Que Psi Phi plates and any other "look at us, we're a Greek couple" 'nalia is crazy to me. I know some think it is cute but I just don't see it.

Midwest, no offense taken. I understand it's a matter of personal choice. I didn't have the robe made for myself, my Neos had it made for me when I was their Dean.

The unbrella thing is another issue as well. I don't see me letting another person carry it. Unfortunately men have to contend with being gentlemen. So yeah, if my man and I are out and about and suddenly a strom rolls over, I don't see him tripping off the frat umbrella/jacket. However, if it were my umbrella, I also wouldn't have him shivering in the rain while I walked dry under my DST umbrella. I think there's extras o it if the person is of the same sex because there can be confusion. My boyfriend did satet that while he may not smack me upside the head for throwing on a shirt on route to the restroom, he would have to go OFF if he cam home and his roommate had on a shirt. Why this would happen, who knows.

Similarly, I am not handing out Delta shirts to my homies if they spill something on a blouse and need something to throw on. I don't care if it has the greek letters or says Deltagirl or My homegirl is a Delta or I wish I could be a Delta or whatever. It is NOT happening.

ROFLMAO LMAO LMAO!!! Soror that is hilarious but I feel you.

The license plate thing is not a big deal to me. I do know (LOL as I flashback) that I have 2 sets of car keys, one with DST insignia and the other with my name and any one who needs to use my car will get the NAME keychain. IT actually happened to me with a guy friend who was kind of upset when I SNATCHED the other set of keys out of his hand but I WAS NOT HAVING IT!!

Ok, maybe it's just me. Other than my car, I don't let anyone use anything that has my letters on it. And only my ex-boyfriend was driving that, so no confusion there. Not an ink pen, nothing. As far as the umbrella situation, listen to the weather in the morning. It's called preparation, I'm sorry. Like Kelli said, I'll walk you outside, with my umbrella, but you CANNOT carry it by yourself. It's not about not caring about the person's well being, the situation is too sticky. Think about how you would feel if you were walking down the street, and saw someone with an umbrella that had XYZ letters on it. You go to meet and greet, since that's the sisterly thing to do. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif And find out that the chick is not a soror!! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif What?! First thing through my mind is, what soror gave this chick her letters??? Next thing you know, they'll want to borrow the skee-wee! LOL! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif Ok, I'm kidding, yall, I'm kidding!! LOL!! But I'm serious about the other stuff. Nope.

I think that these responses are quite interesting. Because, I know more than a few of us have tripped off of GLO's traditions of lavaliering and whatnot. But here, we have people saying that it's ok behind closed doors?? What is THAT about?

Well, my non-Greek husband drives my car w/ the DST plates or DST window sticker. I do not trip because he takes care of my car, runs errands for me and drives me when I do not want to drive myself. I often see other husbands driving their wife's car, especially picking them up from the train station. No big deal. ::shrug::

As far as clothing or items like cups, no way is a non-soror going to wear or use it. I don't want any confusion. When my non-Greek mom attends Delta functions with me, I advise her not to wear red so that there will be no embarassment and she totally understands. As far as the umbrella thing, I don't even use them! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/cool.gif

I disagree about the 'as long as it is in private' permission. No way is NO WAY. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif



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MCCOYRED
Mu Psi '86
BaltCo Alumnae

Dynamic...Salient...Temperate...Since 1913

As far as license plates, I'll let my father, boyfriend, sister, brother, etc. drive my car with plates on. For me, I never assume when I see plates on a car that that person is in that organization. It's not like the person has the letters on their body or in their hand (ie keychain, etc). It's simply attached to a vehicle of transportation. That's just my take.

Ideal08,

Girl,you got me at working laughing all out loud...I feel you. I have dang near ran down the police to catch up with a Soror due to the license plate to find out it be a boyfriend or husband and you right you let someone borrow anything pertaining your XYZ then you right next they wanna borrow the call and then OOOO~OP's they done got popped in the mouth. If you are not a Soror you can not borrow anything with my letters on it and ya bet'not touch it! If my man drives my car with my license plate he knows to take the key only and leave my keychains alone. It is all about RESPECT Somebody said to be prepared. If you know you stay the night at your man's house on the regular then go PREPARED take your own robe with your OWN Greek letters and he will be and happy and so will you!!! If you don't have a robe with your GREEK letters take this opportunity to let your man know so he can purchase that GIFT for you.....then he will be happy and so will you!!!

OHHHHHH ya'll are so CRAZY...Much Greek luv to you all

I've been int he situation where a co-worker asked to borrow my umbrella, I told her no because my letters were on it. She didn't understand.

yes...all the responses here are quite interesting...but i don't think one person's repsonse devalues the way people treat there letters.

roomies, friends and such are out of the question for t-shirts, sweaters and so and such. the umbrella thing is if-y.

significant others and married ones...ummmmm...that needs to be well thought about.

certain situations are handled in different ways.


oh and about the Alpha/Delta license plate, we thought we were getting married. it was a cute idea on his part. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/tongue.gif


[This message has been edited by MaMaBuddha (edited March 01, 2001).]

Just FYI

When I was driving to work, I saw a car with the license plate KAPPAMN but was driven by a woman (the owner's wife or mother--I dunno). Just wanted to share that.

Anyhow, on usage of the letters, I well tell you upfront that I don't get overly picky about nonmembers using my letters as long as they don't plan to perp. My mother wore my shirt once (and it was on her driver's license photo until it was renewed). I loaned a lady friend my cardigan with the letters on it b/c she was cold.

Anyway, my point is this: All too often Greeks protect their letters to the point of foolish pride. Meaning that if using an item like an umbrella or a car with letters on them would pose a detriment to a non-greek (would get wet in the rain, can't use to car to race to the hospital to check on a dying friend or relative), then IMHO you are not protecting your letters, you are idolizing them. Please put principle over pride, and if your letters mean that much to you, please don't allow them to be placed on items were they could be "compromised", or leave nalia where others can get access to it.

My .25 cents.

RM

IF I WERE GOING TO TAKE A SHOWER, I WOULD HAVE BROUGHT A TOWEL OR MY OWN ROBE WITH MY TO THE RESTROOM BEACUSE I KNEW I WAS GOING TO BE WET(DUHHHH). BECAUSE HIS ROBE IS TABOO OFF LIMITS. I WOULD NOT WANT HIM TO DISRESPECT MY LETTERS (DST) AND I WOULD NEVER DISRESPECT HIS (Q-PSI-PHI).

AS FAR AS THE UMBRELLA OR BLANKET IS CONCERN, IF MY GRANDMOTHER WAS COLD AND MY BLANKET WAS THE ONLY WARM BLANKET IN THE HOUSE, THEN I WOULD WRAP HER IN IT AND GET HER SOME TEA.BECAUSE IF IT WEREN'T FOR HER I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD THE MONEY TO PLEDGE AND SHE PROBABLY BROUGHT THE BLANKET.
THE UMBRELLA SITUATION, IF MY MOTHER DIDN'T HAVE AN UNBRELLA AND HER AND I WERE TOGETHER, I BE DAMN IF I AM GOING TO SIT AND LET MY MOTHER GET WET AND CATCH A COLD. SHE MADE ME, SO DAMN THE MATERIALISTIC SHI***.!!!THAT'S MY MOM.

BUT IF IT WERE ANY ONE ELSE I WOULD GIVE THEM SEVERAL BLANKETS SO THEY WOULD KEEP WARM(LIKE MY MAN) AND I WOULD DRIVE THEM TO SHELTER IF THEY DIDN'T HAVE A UMBRELLA. THEY WOULD THINK I DID IT OUT OF KINDNESS BUT I KNOW THE REAL REASON.

IN ALL THIS YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW YOUR OWN HEART. AND ALLOW YOUR CONSCIOUS TO BE YOUR GUIDE.

ONE LOVE
QUEEN

Well, I have an OES lanyard in my car, and an emblem on the back of my car, but am I
"rainbowed" out? Nah. I went through Neo fever, bought a jacket, tee-shirt, and hat, and that was it. And I never wear the jacket (lawsuit pending), my locs are too big for the hat, and it sure ain't summertime yet! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

If she was just going from shower to room, no big deal, and if it's just those two, no big deal. I would never try to sport any Greek's gear when I'm not in that org.

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@~~^~~~~
The most beautiful thing in the world is, precisely, the conjunction of learning and inspiration.
-- Wanda Landowska

I'm a non greek, but those are my sentiments exactly... when the well being of any human being comes into play, all bets are off. I saw two women walking down stairs one greek and one not and the non-greek lady took a nasty fall and broke her arm. The greek took off her sweater which had her letters on it and made a sling for her friend to set the arm. Her sorors protested for a second but saw the urgency in her doing that and backed off. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

I also agree... and guess what? This "symbol worship" is unique to mostly YOUNGER BGLO members.

It used to be traditional that when a couple was engaged, the fraternity member would "pin" his fiance.. He would GIVE HER his fraternity pin! I own an Omega pin... I have also worn an Omega sweater IN PUBLIC on a college campus.

You can get as angry as you wish about somebody "perping" with your symbols, but if you touch that person, you might either get hurt or arrested...

I am devoted to Delta - have been for almost 25 years - but I do not worship our symbols.

I would make her take off my robe.

1) She should not be wearing my letters.
2) I would probably just want to see her butt naked. Yawl look so good coming out of the shower all wet and dripping.

Hey, I can tell you the truth, or I can lie to you. I prefer the truth.

MN

I understand the "symbol worship" point of view and it is a valid arguement. However, the bottom line is whatever it is that someone is trying to borrow belongs to ME. IT is MINE. I have the right to say "yes, you may borrow..." or "no, you may not borrow..." for no other reason than "because I said so." If you don't like it, you don't have to borrow anything from me. It's that simple.


RainMan mentioned needing to borrow a car to go to the hospital to check on a dying friend/relative. If we're close enough for you to fashion your mouth & vocal cords to ask me to borrow my car, then we're close enough for me to be at the hospital with you as part of your support system.

it's funny how we tend to keep certain traditions and let others go...

i agree with Brother RainMan and Soror Beejae.

i think we put the wrong things on pedestals.




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MaMaBuddha

Devastating
Stimulating
Tantalizing
_________________________

Imaginer un métro rempli avec les anges tombés...

[QUOTE]Originally posted by BeeJae:
It used to be traditional that when a couple was engaged, the fraternity member would "pin" his fiance.. He would GIVE HER his fraternity pin! I own an Omega pin...

Pinning?!

Sho nuff!! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

On that note, my girlfriend (before and after she became a Delta)always wore my Omega Psi Phi pendant. I was proud that she wore it as much as she was took pride in wearing it. Almost all of my chapter bruhs girlfriends possessed something that identified them as belonging to a Que. I guess that the worries about perping drives this attitude, but if my girl let me get wet rather than using her umbrella or let me be cold rather than use her blanket, or won't let me use her car because of a license plate/sticker, I'd have to tell her that her priorities were missplaced.