Why is my roommate so...GRRRRRR!
 

Hey all. I'm living in a graduate dorm on campus with the most critical woman alive. I don't know how to deal with her. It's not just the criticism, but also cruel little statements she makes.

For example, my parents were planning on coming to see me this upcoming weekend. That's the same weekend that my roommate's sister is coming. When I told her, she said, "I wish your parents weren't coming this weekend." I said, "Excuse me?"

There was no emphasis on "this weekend" to suggest that she was sorry she couldn't spend time with them.

Fast forward. Today, I didn't go to Church because I have been feeling sick for about four days. I was finally feeling much better today, but I didn't want to go to Church and spread my germs, or pick something up from someone else as I'm recovering.

One of my roommate's friends came over today and lectured me on why going to Church is so important. When my roommate heard this (and after her friend left) she asked me how sick I was. The conversation got onto why I was sick. I said that there have been a lot of changes in my life and my body is probably just reeling. Then, she called me a hypochondriac. I also said that being in classrooms (and Church for that matter) is just putting yourself into a airborne germ infestation, so it's not too surprising that I was a little sick. Then she called me a mysophobic (fear of germs) and claimed that I was complaining. When I told her I was answering HER question, she just rolled her eyes.

I just can't win. How do I deal with this woman????????

Re: Why is my roommate so...
 

Make her an offer that she can't refuse.

http://tinypic.com/b9cmd

Re: Why is my roommate so...GRRRRRR!
 

Next time you have to sneeze, do it either onto whatever she's eating at the time or right into her face. Then when she complains say, "HA! NOW who's the mysophobe????" and laugh at her.

Sorry to be so trite, but with folks like that you have to laugh to keep from crying.

You have my sympathy!

Request a new roommate. You are graduate studying and need to STUDY which is next to impossible to do with a hostile bitch room mate.

Thanx for the smile. :) I needed that!

Take her toothbrush and clean the toilets with it.

Don't tell anyone and make sure you're not being filmed (hi, Big Brother 4 I think?)...and you can live with the fact that she's brushing her teeth with toilet junk.

GO!

Re: Re: Why is my roommate so...
 

Those were funny but Damn you people are evil:p

Ditto on the new roomie idea.

If I lived with someone like that, I'd just ignore her. She probably won't find very much enjoyment in bitching at someone who doesn't pay her any attention.

Put NAIR in her shampoo bottle!

This is what I did when I lived with a whacko. I really should have moved out and saved myself all of the stress.

Good luck to you.

I guess everyone has a bad roommate story...

I once did an internship where I had to move to another state and room with 3 other women (there were a total of 16 interns) I really felt like I was a cast member on the Real World.

Two of my roommates were wonderful and we clicked!! The other....well she was going through some personal things so when she was having a bad day...she made an effort to make sure she put everyone else in the same mood.

One night I cooked for all the interns (she was at work) when she came home she ran to her room and slammed the door...why?? 2 minutes later so came out, I told her I cooked and left some food for her...her response....

"next time you cook, please shut my bedroom door. The smell from "your kind" of food is all over my stuff"

OMG!! My jaw dropped :eek:

If moving out is an option, I would definately try that. She doesn't sound like the type of person who is gonna change even if you try to have a nice sit down with her and talk things out. I feel your pain. Living with a roommate--whoever they are--is not an easy task.

Well....you could try talking to her. Just tell her hi, I don't really appreciate the way you talk to me. If she reacts immediately and negatively, then look into moving out. But it's possible she will be surprised and not even know that she is coming off so gruffly.

I'm in a bad situation because there are so few graduate students here. The school is very small since it's a seminary. I can't really move out because there's not really anywhere to go! I'm living in one of two real graduate dorms. :( I'm kinda dealing with her as I can.

I actually have confronted her and she gets horribly offended, claiming that I haven't lived a Christian lifestyle for years (up until now) so how would I know. She's a very combative person, so I leave her to her own devices most of the time.

In that case, you need to arm yourself with Bible verses. "Judge not...", etc. and just toss them at her when she's being like that.

Dee

Agreed! Give us some more examples and we'll all start combing the Bible for some good ones to keep handy.

I'm so lucky that I have such a wonderful roommate. I'm so sorry you live in a situation like that - especially during grad school.

:(

pick your battles; she sounds too self-righteous to try and enlighten her all the time. i wouldn't think you'd wanna end up in a who's-right-who's-wrong argument with someone like that.

be super nice to her, and nod and smile, water off a duck's back. pray for her, and thank God you aren't that way.

Ugh, what a B....!!! I hate people like that that think they are holier than thou and they are so not!!! That's one of the reasons I couldn't take the church my parents made me go to until I was in college, but that's another story for another thread. What about looking for a place not in the dorms? Is that an option? You may be able to find a roommate off of a website like craigslist.com. Good luck and keep us posted!

I'm apologizing in advance, but ARGH!!! More on the roommate front. The other night I stayed up late to finish typing a paper. The next morning, my roommie told me that my TYPING had kept her up all night.

Then, last night I couldn't sleep - I'm looking down the barrel of finals week! So, instead of making any noise in the apartment, I left and drove around for a little while and then came back, sat in the car, listened to music and read. Then, I came back in and went straight to sleep. It turns out that when I left (though I very carefully closed the door and locked it, doing my best not to wake her) she claims that I woke her up and she couldn't get back to sleep. She confronted me this evening when I got back from my evening class and was already stressed over the final review in that class. GRRRR!

To top it off and make it more fun, in the conversation about the events last night, I told her that I make every effort to be as quiet as possible. Then she said that SHE KNOWS I don't bang around the apartment, play music, watch tv, etc. And, she can't figure out what keeps waking her up. Ummm...could it be that we live in the cheapest building that has absolutely no insulation, so if you're the least bit of a light sleeper, you're in for it???

You know, I don't have any problems with the noise level. Yeah, it's louder sometimes but it's because the walls are paper thin. And I recognize that this is DORM LIVING! It's not a retirement community where everyone goes to bed at 8 PM. I'm a grown woman. I should be able to walk around as I need to. And, use the restroom whenever I need to, but that's another problem she has. It seems I wake her up when I get up at night (which doesn't happen often - usually when I'm stressed) and have to...ummm...relieve myself. Dang! When I gotta go...

Before there are any snide comments about me being a "grown woman" complaining about this on a public forum, ya know, sometimes you just have to let it out. And, believe me, she's heard all of this. She just doesn't get it. She actually said that she wants me to go in my room and not come out or make any noise during quiet hours (10 PM to 8 AM).

Whew! Thanks for "listening"!!

Perhaps you should suggest (in a nice way, not a sarcastic way) that ear plugs may be helpful for her since it is a loud living environment. Or, a white noise machine.

Dee

She "claims" to wear ear plugs and use a fan to block out noise. And, on a number of occasions when her friends have come by the room after she's gone to sleep, she's somehow not awakened by them knocking on the door - which is FAR louder than when I gently close and lock it. I just don't get it. I'm the one who has to get up and tell them she's asleep.

Thank you for your suggestion though! That's precisely what I told her.

She was just talking tonight about moving to another room or another dorm. But, she doesn't want to have to "move my stuff. I feel settled in here." I don't know how to break it to her that if she can't put up with a little noise from a considerate roommate, she won't fare well anywhere else on campus either. I'm just going to try to let it go and let her do what she needs to do.

I do have a bit of consolation. I thought I was all alone in this, but she put up a sign in our hall (which is the hall where the laundry room is!) for people to be quiet because it's too loud in her room. Our neighbors took the sign down and took GREAT offense at it because she actually NAMED THEM on the flyer among the people she was addressing. Good grief!

OMG I had the roomate from Hades my freshman year. One of many examples: one week she was so sick. puking, sneezing, coughing, YUCK. Anyway, I went to Wal Mart and bought her some medicine and soup, made sure she had her assignments, and then snuck in our room after class while she was sleeping so as not to wake her, to grab some stuff and leave the germ hole. Well, she recovered and passed whatever she had on to me. The week I was sick she was so kind as to repay me by staying on the phone with her boyfriend and laughing hysterically with the tv blaring while I was trying to nap, and bringing in some nasty smelling food which made me puke. What a sweet heart. I would tell your roomie the same thing I told mine one day.............
GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM!!!

OMG! When my best friend was in the process of deactivating from her sorority (not DPhiE of course!), she still lived in the sorority suite (it was the end of the year) and the other girls were soooo pissed about her quitting that they actually did this!! Luckily, she was tipped off by her roommate in a rare bout of kindness!

i could probably come up with some mean things but everything i am reading is already good as it is.

Oh my gosh, your roommate sounds horrible.
A few years ago, I made the poor choice of moving in with my best friend. We're no longer friends now. :) She always wanted it quiet. We had a clock in the kitchen that made a very quiet, barely audible, ticking noise. At night, she would walk into the kitchen and rip it off the wall because she claimed that she could hear it in her room. Her door was closed and her bedroom was all the way on the other side of the apartment. :confused:
She was always sick and always having some kind of drama. A complete hypochondriac and she always needed to be in a fight with a friend of her's. She never cleaned and would leave her crap all over the apartment.
Extreme social problems that I didn't really pick up on until we moved in together. She was going to a weekly therapy session but that didn't help.
Karma came around and bit her in the butt...twice. My other roommate and I referred to these incidents as "The Laundry Incidents".
One time, I had left Chap Stick in my pant pocket that had fell out into the dryer. It didn't get on my clothes, thankfully. She did her laundry the next day and red, cherry scented Chap Stick got all over her clothing. She was crying hysterically. HYSTERICALLY. I was in my room on the phone and I ran out to see if she was ok because she was crying like someone died! No, she was hysterical because Chap Stick got on her clothes. Dude, I'll give you money to get a new pair of Wal-Mart khakis...sheesh.
The second time was when my other roommate used some black dye in the laundry machine to dye back a shirt of her's. I guess the black dye didn't get completely cleaned out of her laundry machine because it ended up all over Evil Roommate's load of lights. I just laughed and laughed and laughed.

That's so funny! I have a clock in my room that ticks louder than I don't know what. But, it was a crossing gift from my big sister and I'll be a pizza pie before I give it up!

Quote:

No, she was hysterical because Chap Stick got on her clothes. Dude, I'll give you money to get a new pair of Wal-Mart khakis...sheesh.

I am seriously LOL at that!!! Bwahahahahahahahaha!

Ignore her. It's hard, but do your best. Or, if you feel like it, tell her you've tried your best, but she is still the hardest person next to the devil to live with. And then move out.

Put in a roommate request change, saying that your current roommate's living habits are effecting your study and your ability to be succcessful in your program.

The worst housing can do is to say no. You won't know unless you give it a shot. Let us know how you make out.

Meanwhile, every time she opens her mouth, tell her, "I'm really not interested in what you have to say. Please be quiet. I'm going over HERE now, and I expect you to leave me alone and refrain from bothering me. Thank you and have a nice day. Feel free to move out. I'm working on doing the same because you are not someone I want to be around on a regular basis. Again, please keep quiet. You're disrupting my graduate program."

Given that it is finals time right now I would probably do my best to ignore her and then tackle it later. I had a rude roomate and after saying things until my face turned blue I decdied that ignoring her was the best option. Luckily for me she inproved a little but not enough for me to want to live with her again.

Post a sign with her name on it that says:

. "Again, please keep quiet. You're disrupting my graduate program." [/QUOTE]
lol!!!

The best thing I can tell you is to move. You've made an effort, she won't meet you half way, get out now!

And just to help you realize that it could be worse, here is a little story for you.

I had a seriously skanky slut bag roommate (she really does suffer from mental illness, but that is an aside, part of the illness is refusing to seek and receive treatment). I had heard rumors she was a ho, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt and she moved in when my roommate went back to Sweden. I should have known something was up when she was on the "no entry" list to the military barracks, and was rumored to be a big fan of both the basketball and hockey team members. So she slept with a married guy, guys with girlfriends, etc, changed in front of my boyfriend (though he said she had nothing he wanted to see, classic), and took pictures of herself in lingerie and mailed them to some guy she knew from highschool that went into the military. She also had been pregnant more than once (claimed condoms didn't work for her, wtf?), and contracted chlamydia that was undiagnosed for so long she didn't know where she got it from.

So homegirl brings home two guys. One just had a baby with some chick back home, and roommate was trying to get with him. Of course he had a friend. Well I woke up to this "friend" trying to remove my clothes and get in bed with me. I reported it and the guy with the baby said he never touched me blah blah, provided his alibi. So we go on spring break and when I get back the predator had stabbed the guy with the baby 151 times in a basement and killed him. Had he told the truth the murderer would have been in jail and unable to stab him to death.

My roommate brought home a sexual predator and a murderer, so things could be much much worse.

Edited because of my poor hung over grammar

:eek: I'm just glad you're ok! And, your philosophy is what's getting me through. It really COULD be much worse!

Yeah the straw that broke the camel's back, so to say, was the trifling heffa roommate I caught in bed with my boyfriend. I caught them at three or four in the morning, I had to be at work at seven (I did precare at a school) and I had reactivated my application for school here, called the movers, and booked my ferry trip to leave Alaska all by ten am.

I live alone now and it is awesome. I may move in with a friend has she has roommate drama. Her original roommate is now dating a drag queen that moved in, doesn't clean or pay bills, and leaves her boobie inserts in the sink and fake eyelashes all over. Plus he/she looks like a Chuckie Doll.

Oh crap I almost forgot my first college roommate ever, that decided to experiement with drugs, bisexuality, and stripping with our suitemate. Luckily I became very ill and had to have a tonsillectomy and an adenoidectomy that semester and got out of that.

You could always tell her you're praying for the demon spirits to release her. :p