Young Alumni....Still in the mix?
 

any young alumni out there who still live in teh city they went to school in? who are still friends with the undergrads? do you still hang out with them? is it lame to go back and party with them on a thursday night? or a big theme party?

I don't live in the same city anymore,because I graduated in December of 2003, but I do still have undergrad friends, and I visit them. Also my boyfriend is in grad school at the same school, so he still live in that town, and I go visit him. We go out with friends, undergrad and others, and I still go to the fraternity house and hang when I'm there. It's still fun to do, but I will admit it's different now that I live a couple of hours away, and have a "big-kid job".

Re: Young Alumni....Still in the mix?
 

Right when I just became an alum 2 years ago it wasn't uncommon for me to be out at the bars and apartments with the collegians because these were the girls I was very close with while I was in chapter.

A lot of "older" alums frowned upon it because some young alums didn't know where to draw the fine line between alum and collegian. I was still working on my degree when I took alum status early. Still, I only went out with them if I was invited to the bar and if I was invited to the party. I don't think it's lame at all.

Now, on the other hand, because it's been a few years and most of my girls have since graduated, I rarely ever encounter the collegians aside from official chapter events. Out of the chapter, there are only a handful of girls still collegians that were collegians with me.

I stayed in my town for about a year after I left school... I'd gotten a job in a local law office and just decided to get a nicer apartment and stick around :)

I still went to meetings pretty regularly and out to the bars, etc. There were a few of us young alums around and we pretty much did stuff together with the actives.

Now that I'm in a different city and a few years out, I don't do much with my chapter anymore.. there's no one still active that was active with me, and that hour drive back home makes it pretty inconvenient to attend 9pm Monday meetings. I'm actually planning a trip to a meeting in October, though, so we'll see if I feel welcome. If so, I'll try to do it more.

Thats funny that you mention that. I still live 20 minutes away from my chapter of initiation and am helping them with recruitment. I actually went out with them tonight for a couple drinks. I did just graduate in May so I still know a lot of people in the system (some that at times think i'm still active) but I don't think it matters whether you're alum for a couple years or recent. Its still ok to go out with them.....afterall they are your fraternity brothers. It's all about reliving some college moments that you don't get anymore~!

I graduated in December 2001 and I am still very active with my chapter and my sorority in general. As a chapter Founder, I definitely want to remain in contact with the ladies initiated into my chapter. I have attended at least part of every Rush week we have had since I graduated.

I am also very good friends with some of our neos and just last week had a party at my "big person" house to which all chapter founders and all our neos came too. I see myself staying in touch socially and business-wise with my chapter for a long time to come. :)

I graduated in 1998 which is a long long time ago it seems. I try to make it back to New Paltz at least once a year but it just isn't the same after you graduate. The girls are still sweet and as adorable as ever (some are like 10 years younger then me scary............) and it's nice to visit but as soon as I get my New Paltz fix in for a night, I long to go back to being an "adult". As much as things change, they still remain the same and you realize as you get older how much you have changed from those days as a young collegian. I am going to begin my next chapter in my sisterhood by becoming an Advisor this Fall for the Deephers at Pace University. I don't think it is cheesy at all to go back and see the actives, in fact I think it is great because it lets them know you are still interested in them and sisterhood doesn't necessarily have to die after graduation.

I graduated back in '02. Since then, I've become a member of the chapter advisory board and deal with both the chapter's Honor Council (like standards board) and Financial issues. The two areas often go hand in hand.

I've had to kind of redefine how I can hang out with these guys. There obviously aren't any guys left that were around when I joined the colony -- in fact, there are only a few former colonists left in the chapter.

There has been a great deal of change since we received our charter and our roles as alums have been chaning along with the chapter. We've set up a house corporation, an Alumni Chapter and an Advisory Board. Yeah, we still hang out. A lot of us show up for Rush from as far away as Dallas (which is about a 3 1/2 hour drive). We still have a good time with them.

I on occasion will buy an active a beer, go out to the bar with a few of 'em, etc.. These days, you won't see me participating in chugging contests or anything of that nature (if that stuff ever happened anymore). I don't usually hang out at parties too late, etc.

-- It's a fairly unique situation we have where we essentially are able to define what an alum is and does where our chapter is concerned.

i'm only a year older than some of the women in my chapter and am attending graduate school at the same university where my chapter is located, so i still do a lot with my collegian sisters. i helped with formal recruitment and have attended a few of their events this semester. though i've been invited to attend meetings with the advisors, i have yet to go to one because i don't want to be around too much, you know? it feels different, but in many ways, it's not been a drastic change from being active.

I've been out for just over a year and have moved roughly 400 miles from my chapter of initiation. When I was back for a visit, I hung out with the girls and helped out with recruitment. It was great, and I hope to be able to do so again. Since I try to meet all of the new actives and keep in touch with everyone I knew as an active, it makes helping out easier and shows the younger women that it really is for a lifetime. Plus, visiting gives me a chance to see my pledge sisters ;)
I also happen to live by another chapter now, so I am serving on the house corporation for that chapter. This is a new thing, so we'll see how it goes, but I know it will be different than being an active.

The girls have made it a tradition to go line dancing every Monday night after the meetings. I've been joining them on occasion. I also have very recent alumna sisters that still hang out with the actives... so if they have a get together, actives are there too. So the house generally knows who I am. And I still run their website, so I have to be around.

Josh,

This is a very good question. I agree with ktsnake about recent alums having to redefine their roles. Some alumni can be wilder than the undergraduates, which is not a good situation. I think recent graduates certainly can hang out with the actives, but it's probably better if they're a little more reserved and even watch out for the younger guys while they're together.

How long can you do this? I don't know. Depends.

But if an active asks you when you were initiated - and then says, "Wow, dude that's the year I was born", ya might want to look in the mirror.

Jono

i don't live in the town i went to college in, but last year was my first year out of college and i made a point to make sure i got to go see everyone. i went down for a day in august to see my sisters, in nov. for our homecoming, and april for our white dove ball. i plan on trying to stay involved as much as possible in supporting the gals as i can.

Living some distance does make it hard for some Alums to get back. We at my Chapter try to plan for Alums to come back to two events a year. Homecoming and Founders Day. Oct and Feb. to be exact.

But now, back to the original question, We have a lot of Alums in the Area Of The School who dont do a damn thing. No matter How Hard We as Alums and Actives try to get them involved.

If I had the answer, I would be working for Our Int. Hq.

It is funny though, our local Alums tail gate at every home game and dont really have anything to do with the Active Chapter.

Hmm, there could be a total tailgate for Alums and Actives in the works.:)


Greek Life is not like marriage where absence makes the heart grow fonder.:(

I'm right down the street from my chapter but I rarely go to the house unless it's just to stop by and visit or for an alumnae event. I'm still friends a few of the undergrad although I keep in better touch with the alum. I'll go downtown and party with a few of the collegiate members but I don't go to socials.

i think it is something for you to be aware of...

if you are going to hang out and drink with the collegiates, then you may want to look around and make sure everyone standing there is 21+ (of course, we know no one ever drinks when they are under 21), look at your groups social policy (for example, phi mu does not allow collegiates and actives to participate in an activity with alcohol present) and look at why you are really there. is this a rush event and you are there to support the chapter, a chapter reunion, a philanthropy event, etc., then i say go for it. if you are just going to be hanging around at a social, then you might want to reconsider your plans.

it is great to get to know the actives and be a support, but there are lots of ways to support a chapter!

oh, today i had a conversation about some alumnae who graduated recently who don't seem to realize that they graduated. this particular chapter is frustrated because they keep showing up to meetings, want to come to parties, etc. and the chapter is like, you are graduated...go away! not that they don't want support, they just don't want the new graduates hanging around telling them what to do...which is what often happens when new graduates keep coming back.

I was just thinking about this the other night. I still live 10 minutes away from my alma mater and most of my friends from the chapter are still active, so I am very much friends with some of the actives and kinda still "in the mix". It is a bit weird for me though becuase I don't want to be around all the time and act like an active since I'm not, but these are my friends, and I want to hang out, so mainly I try to go out on our own time with them and not go to greek parties and such. It's also really hard not to give input about what goes on and have them turn to you and say " alumni, will you take the picture". not hear all the day to day stuff that happens on campus cause you weren't there etc... something I've been having a very hard time with actually...

For my chapter the amount of time an alum spends with the actives depends on how active she was to begin with. There was one girl who graduated a year ago who was around all the time because she was very active as a sister. I on the other hand only plan on hanging around when I am needed, like for recruitment... or the occasional nights out. Not to say that I wasn't active while I was there, but I just feel that I need to move on now if I am ever going to do it at all.

It is interesting to hear other people's stories because I think this can sometimes be a weird situation. I love my GLO and still want to be involved, but I don't want to seem like that girl who won't go away. I graduated in May 03 so for 03-04 school year I was still around the house and saw the actives a lot because a lot of my close friends were still active. I went to Bid Day to celebrate getting the Rho Gams (a lot of my close friends) back and even went to one of the first grab-a-dates with a friend because her boyfriend couldn't go. Now that I'm over a year out of school and the chapter I don't see the girls as much. My roommate is still active though (she's a 5th yr) so I still hear all about it from her. Our Alum chapter is growing a lot though and I actually hang out more now with some of the sisters who are older than me than I did when we were in the chapter together
If I'm still in Raleigh in a few years I would like to become involved as an advisor. I definitely think the rule about having to be out a few years before taking on that role is a good idea.

I graduated in 3 and a half years from Northern Arizona University so that put me finishing in Dec. '03... Since I wasn't entirely sure where and what I was going to be doing I stayed in town until the summer... It worked out well, because I worked and things... The fact was though, that it made an interesting combination of being an alum, but wanting to still be part of the chapter... What I ended up doing was helping out with spring recruitment a bit and initiation... Other than that I would hang out with sisters I was close to on a one on one basis, but not really go out and party with them... Having to get up to work to pay the bills really kept me from going out with them a lot...

I'll admit that it's been hard for me to "distance" myself from my chapter. My boyfriend is still a collegiate and a very active member of his fraternity, so I'm definitely in town often, and I only live 15 minutes away from campus. My sisters were my absolute best friends, and it's really hard to step back from that. At the same time, I don't want to be overbearing or "lame", so I've tried to limit how much time I spend with the entire sorority. I've stayed close with a few sisters in particular, and most of them are older, but I can think of 2 or 3 girls that are only sophomores that I consider good friends.

For the most part, I've only been going to events when invited, such as helping out with Recruitment. I stopped by at a Recruitment retreat one afternoon because we don't have a Recruitment Advisor right now because ours moved out of state, and I thought the girls might need help with the younger girls, or just doing something simple like making nametags. Our President (who is one of my very good friends) went out of town this weekend our boyfriends' fraternity has been hanging out with these 3 cool girls. Normally she would have brought them out, but I did it instead since she couldn't. These girls hit it off with our sisters fabulously, and I'm glad I did take them out to our movie night, because otherwise we might not have been able to show them how much fun it is to be Greek.

I will say it's really hard to not put your 2 cents in all the time, especially when you were fairly well-respected. I've just seen other alumnae stick their nose in the chapter's business too much, and that's why I'm trying to butt out unless my opinion is asked or my presence is requested.

We actually begin "recruiting" our new alums at their "crossing over" ceremony to alumnae-hood. This year, one of our brand-new alums became an advisor and another who graduated the year before joined our advisory board (I'm the oldest advisor at 35! LOL).

Many of the new alums join the group as it's a pretty young group. It's like they never left their chapter...but there are less meetings and the dues are MUCH cheaper! LOL

My problem is a little different. I graduated about 2 years ago, and I moved back to Texas (from VA). There are very few chapters of my GLO here and the ones that are, are at least 4 hours away. I really want to be involved! There is an alumnae group here, but they are mostly older women, and they have not met in awhile. I sent them emails a few weeks ago, letting them know I wanted to be involved and I'd love to have lunch sometime, but I never heard back. I have been getting involved in other things here in town, but it's not the same. I've even started emailing one of the newer members back at school, just to keep in the loop on numbers and such, she's really sweet and indulges me, and we've never even met. I wanna be involved, but I can't;-(

Try contacting Your National and see if they have anything in their Data Base that would pull out a listing of Alums inThe Houston area.

How many Chapters are there in Texasif at all?

If there are, either go through Hq Site if they have a list of Chapters you can contact via email.

If National Site doesnt,try greekpages.com.

I just graduated this May and have moved 600 miles away from my undergrad to go to graduate school. The hard part for me is that there are still sisters who are active that I came in with, but have not graduated yet.

In talking to sisters that are nearby campus, they said it's best to just attend events that you are invited to, chapter wise. Such as initiation, recruitment, alumni events, etc.

I think the hardest part is for sisters who have graduated, but their boyfriends have not. So if they're partying with their boyfriend and sisters are there, that may be hard. Then again, i think some have yet to draw the line between active and alum.

The thing that is going to be hardest for me is the fact that I am going to be advising a local chapter while in graduate school. I hope I will be able to draw the line, a)because I just graduated and b) because these girls are my age. I'm hoping that since i did not know these women as a collegian it will be ok.

My one weakness is though that I am flying down twice this semester to visit my sisters and friends, one is for alumni brunch though. :p

I am and I'm not.

I'm in the same city, working with a larger alumni association, and return every so often to help as well as to see how my brothers and friends are doing.

I am an adult now and I don't feel the need to be the weird alum at some party with college kids. That was getting old in college and it sure as heck is unacceptable over a year out of school.

-Rudey

Really sorry to disagree, but I have been working with My Chapter for almost 40 years.

I have visited Chapters in Close Proximity for 5-7 years.

It always Great for me to meet Young Men who have the same hopes and Ideals that I had so many years ago.

My self imprtance as a Founder never entered into to it. The Young Men/Women are New Life Blood of any Greek Organization.:cool:

I'm graduating in December, next semester I sure will be involved! I planning to attend most service and social events. We have a ACTIVE who is 40 and a 25 y/o grad student....so I'm sure I won't stand out at all. It is different if I'm still doing things with my chapter at 30 or even 25. I think it depends on the school, Josh. I think it is the same way with the social greek orgs on my campus, when I used to party at the fraternity houses I saw recent alums all of the time. This could be because our student body is a tad bit older than other colleges, people throughout their 20s blend in on our campus.

.

"for example, phi mu does not allow collegiates and actives to participate in an activity with alcohol present"

Are grad students allowed to be active phi mus?

Wow you have all made me a little nervous. I graduated in May from a school in Wisconsin and promptly moved to Philly. I, yesterday, bought a ticket to go back for homecoming which is not a huge deal at all. It feels kinda funny to be going back. My decision was really based on the fact that I have four of my best friends who will be there (two alumnae, two active) so it will be a great opportunity to see people but the whole being an alumna thing feels intimidating. I've been very very good at not giving advise (i broke once, but it was a HUGE thing) but I'm still worried. These are my best friends and other very close friends...does me graduating change how I have to interact w/them? I just dunno...

NO!!!!!

Homecoming is a weekend for alums to have fun. You're not there to advise them or anything else. You're there to have fun. So don't worry about it. ;)

I agree with 33girl- there's a big difference between coming to Homecoming and coming out every Wednesday and Thursday night to fraternity Late Nights. I'm sure everyone will be really excited to see you!

I know we'll have fun. The stories of how you have to change your interaction (I guess I do realize that is ment towards advising) still kinda is about being an alumna. Homecoming is way low key and they actually have one of our alumnae doing the semester check-up at that time. (Our alumane group does a check-in weekend once a semester w/the chapter to make sure everything from finances to drama is cool, and to keep the alumnae in the mix) I never thought it would be strange to go back. Thanks for your support though! It is kinda funny how once you have a job, it is hard to take those drunken dials at like 2am...

I still live in the same city as the chapter. Its nice for recruitment, they always welcome the help. (and the brownies ;) ;) hehe)
I went to their family day event just this past weekend too. One of our Phi's that I recently befriended (she reminds me exactly of myself when i was a phi!!how cool!!) asked me if i would be going to the XYZ something (cookout?) this week and i was like, I would love to see those guys again (because i still know some of the guys) but Alum aren't really invited. But its part of informal, so technically if i wanted to i could attend.
Who knows, i talked to one of the guys the other day and he told me to come too. haha. My friends don't want to let me go (thank god!)

I like being around, and hanging with the girls, i just graduated, so i know most of them anyway, but if they invite me out, i'll go out wiht them, sometimes i see them out and it is always fun. I'm just down the street and they told me i can make my fabulous 7 layer salad or brownies and stop over anytime.

i know i am not the only one living around here. i was thinking about starting a chapter association, since so many alumnae are around the area.


taualumna, {""for example, phi mu does not allow collegiates and actives to participate in an activity with alcohol present"
} did you mean collegiates and alumnae?

Worried, why?

I just got back this weekend from a fun filled and packed time.

Saw some Brothers that I have not seen for some time and had a ball!

Oh, I have been doing this since 1965!:D

Woory? As Alfred E Newman said "What, Me Worry"?

Go, enjoy, and have a great time. No matter how many were there, it is always good to see the Oldsters and the Newbies!

This thread is far and away my favorite. It is so nice to hear that other people are going through the same stuff as me. I graduated May 2004 and being alum is like going through withdrawl from some major dependancy that you just gave up. I actually missed recruitment this year, I wished I was there even though I always really hated it cause I always ended up way to stressed and tired at the end of the week.
It's really hard for me because my boyfriend is still in school and is the social chair of his fraternity and hangs out with his frat brothers ALL the time. And right now I am in town visiting and I feel like the lame old person (even though I am only 22, how sad is that!) cause everyone else is in school and people will ask me what year I am and I have to say that I am done. That's the worst part, I look and sound younger than I am so if people don't ask then they just assume that I am still in school.
In AX we used to talk about the younger alumni of any group (ours, frats, etc) that didn't really go away. You know the ones, the ones who come to all the parties, date dashes, etc even though they have graduated. We loved them and all but it was a running joke that they were "sketch alum" and though I am in town (like I said) I haven't so much as driven by my sorority house for fear of being labled sketch alum.
Blah Blah Blah, I'm rambling. Basically my point was that it's kinda sad, hard, whatever being a new alumni and it's good to see that other are in my shoes.

Oh yeah....for AChiOAlumna, for whatever reason my computer won't let me PM so could you PM me I want to ask you about your alumni chapter....

As an alumna who just watched another brand, new alumna have difficulty with Recruitment this year, can I offer you peace of mind that you were probably wise beyond your years that you didn't attend Recruitment this year. I witnessed a young alumna pacing behind the scenes this year wanting to get out on the floor and participate in talking to the PNMs, wanting to speak with collegiates about members and wanting to participate in selection. We really had to contain her while she nearly crawled out of her skin...the rest of the alumnae are removed by several years (I've been alum since 1991 and I'm the oldest!) and can focus on what needs to be done as an alum.

It's okay that you had to step back...it's probably healthier for you and the chapter and you know that you'll be back to support the chapter again...for now, give yourself the chance to adjust to your new role as an AXO alum and enjoy it...it's for the rest of your life!

I was so glad that I wasn't like that! I went alum in Dec 03 and skipped participating in Spring Recruitment, which ended up being very helpful! Being the last recruitment chair, I had to train the new recruitment chairs (yes I said plural....we had a total of 4 throughout the year!!) so there was no way that I couldn't be heavily involved.
I went back for formal recruitment last month and was able to act as an advisor of sorts which got me out of the collegiate perspective. I made sure, however, that I didn't go to selection. I stayed upstairs so I wouldn't get myself engrossed into it.

Just taking a semester off of it helps a great deal!