Advice to rush thread addicts
 

Sometimes PNMs get cut and don't want to talk about it. Sometimes they drop out and don't want to talk about it. Sometimes they have 5 million things to do (remember how busy we all were when we all started college?) and posting is the last thing on their priority list.

I know a lot of people find it really exciting to read the stories, but if they don't update, please don't post 86 time asking them for news. They'll post when/if they want to share something. They're not going through recruitment just so people on GC can read about it.

Oh, and calling people from that school to try to find out about PNMs and where they went is just creepy. If I had found out that someone who had written me a rec for the sorority I joined had done that, I'd think twice about staying in that group because I'd be kind of freaked out to know that there are people like that in my GLO.

/rant

Well said. I'm just as excited about hearing everyone's stories, but I'll sit back and let them post when they're ready to post their thoughts and feelings.

Best of luck to the GC PNM's still in the middle of recruitment (or about to begin), and best wishes to our other PNM's, wherever they may be! :)

I didn't go through rush at a competitive or cutthroat school, but I can still sympathize with them and try to understand the devastation some PNMs feel when they've found out they've gotten cut, or when they decide to withdraw because of their own reasons, etc.

As I've seen with past seasons of rush, there's so much hype and excitement leading up to this PNM's rush on campus with the 230492348273948 Good Lucks up the butt. It takes a lot of balls, er, OVARIES, I mean to have the courage to admit to everyone online that rush simply didn't work out.

I know if I was a PNM and it didn't work out, posting on GC would be the LAST thing on my priority list.

What ForeverDiamond posted about GCers contacting their fellow members on a campus where a GC PNM is rushing (just to see how her rush went) might seem outlandish, but I'd be lying if I said that it hasn't happened before. :rolleyes:

There's a lot of anxiousness and excitement, I know. But I think some of y'all need to take it easy just a little. WORD.

Re: Advice to rush thread addicts
 

See, I agree with everything except this... I don't see anything wrong with this with the following rule. If you know the person well and figure they are way too busy to call everyone, then it might be easier just to call the chapter and find out. If you wrote a glowing rec for someone, then again, it isn't so odd to me.

But, if it is an info-only type situation or just someone you know that went through rush, then it IS a little odd.

Just my opinion... For what it's worth... ($.02 if you were wondering)

It may seem crase to want to know what happened to all of the PNMs that you know, but when you run into them or their parents in person and ask is even worse!!! I'm trying to find out about all of the girls I know before I see them!!!:confused: Is this so wrong?

Re: Re: Advice to rush thread addicts
 

See, that's what a normal person would do.

Perhaps it was just worded wrong because as an alum you kind of want to know how this PNM did because in a way, the alum had some say in her rush process.

I believe what ForeverDiamond was venting about was the GCers who have no "relationship" with this PNM except for GC. Going out of the way by calling your contacts at XYZ University just to suppress your own obsessed and addictive need for rush threads is what's sick and creepy.

Oh my gosh, if I see one more post that reads "Any updates?", I'm going to scream.

We go through this EVERY SINGLE YEAR. Some of these girls are busy and for many of these girls, unfortunately, they were cut heavily and don't want to talk about it. Can you blame them? Leave them alone; they'll post when they're ready. They haven't forgotten us. Bumping up a thread will not bring them back any sooner since they're probably not regularly checking GC.

Also, I've heard about a great many GCers who have contacted schools, alum, or collegiate members regarding a GC PNM to see what happened with the PNM. I think we all witnessed the worst of it last year and I think the thread is now locked (thank goodness). It still goes on, though. If you're contacting these PNM's schools to find out where they went when you've never even met them, you really need to revaluate your life and find something to do with it.

ETA:
I'm not talking about those of you who have written recs for some of these girls and have become very close with them through PMs and Emails. :) I'm talking about the people whose only contact with the PNM has been through their rush thread.

OTW, I completely agree on that. I guess I misunderstood.

Thanks!

Re: Re: Re: Advice to rush thread addicts
 

right on

If you know them and their parents personally, then I can understand the need to know!

I agree with everything said above, but I don't think people want to be annoying but are just simply curious to know how things worked out.

I have a feeling that there are many folks around here who wrote recs for people on GC who are rushing and are closely following b/c of that. Just my guess though based on some things I've read on here.

But if you don't know the person well, calling the chapter or whoever to find out what's going on is extreme!!

Can I get an AMEN for this? It's disheartening to know that we are probably scaring PNMs with our enthusiasm for the recruitment process. Since many of us have gone through recruitment at least 2 times as collegiates (or alums) it's very exciting for us, but we need to start thinking of these girls. They will post when they have the time and the drive. I understand that it's wonderful to see a PNM going through this process, but we really need to lay off the "any updates" stuff and let these girls post if they are ready.

not to mention that the threads get full of pages and pages of "good, luck!" "any news?" over and over again. sometimes I go to check the threads b/c it seems like there might be an update and then it turns out the pnm hasn't posted for days!! most pnms actual recruitment stories are only 6 or seven posts long, but their threads are 14 plus pages!!!! not that these girls don't deserve the "good lucks", but it gets kind of overwhelming to read and post in.

---just a personal frustration:)

Re: Advice to rush thread addicts
 

Someone has actually done that?!?!?!?!?! Yes I must agree that is pretty darn creepy!!!

I'll say an AMEN to what everyone has been saying. I know when my friend was going through at UF and hadn't called me for a few days, I was DYING to know what was going on but I also knew that she could have been cut and me calling or emailing and saying "Where did you go" could have been the last thing she needed.
If PNM's want us to know, I think they will tell us in good time!

Re: Re: Re: Advice to rush thread addicts
 

AMEN. That is creepy.

I just figure when/if the person is ready to tell us what happened, they will. As fun as it is to read the rush threads and find out the endings to the stories, people do have other priorities and it is hard to write bad news.

I am a self-confessed rush thread addict. :) I love reading all our PNMs' stories, no matter the outcome.

I don't see anything wrong with a quick "good luck" or "congratulations" or "sorry things didn't work out" post ... but I agree that calling people to find out if someone you know only via GC went XYZ is kind of creepy/stalkerish.

It's great when a PNM comes back and updates us (especially since it takes a lot of courage to admit that you were released from all groups or that you chose to drop out), but you know what... if a few days have gone by since bid day and the PNM hasn't posted, it probably means s/he doesn't want to for whatever reason, and we should respect that.

*bump*

Thank you! I was going to bump this earlier.

Ladies (and the occasional gent) PLEASE stop bugging rushies for updates, especially those COBing. Let them come to us in their own time. Honestly, if they don't wanna tell us, it's none of our damn business ;)

Replying to this so it'll get bumped.

I think some people just need a little reminder.

Another thing to note is that if the pnm has NOT shared where she is in school at, what groups are at her school, or what group is colonizing that she is attending parties for, then it is NOT our place to share that information. Even if you know what school she is at and what groups are there, leave it to the pnm to share the information that they want to share.

axo mom,you go girl!
 

what she said!!

Re: Re: Advice to rush thread addicts
 

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by ForeverDiamond


Oh, and calling people from that school to try to find out about PNMs and where they went is just creepy. If I had found out that someone who had written me a rec for the sorority I joined had done that, I'd think twice about staying in that group because I'd be kind of freaked out to know that there are people like that in my GLO.

/rant
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ACTUALLY, I don't know about other NPC groups, but in Phi Mu it is the collegiate chapter that RECEIVES the recommendation to let the "recommender" know the outcome of the "recommendee's" recruitment experience. There is a form that says essentially "thank you for the recommendation for SUZIE SORORITY WANNABE. She (check one) - has joined Phi Mu. - pledged *any other group*. - declined to complete Recruitment" etc etc etc

That way you don't have a bunch of alums calling an already overwhelmed membership director for information. Very handy and very much like a thank you note (with additional information) for the recommendation.

Thank you -- I was searching for this earlier so I could bump it.

Re: Re: Advice to rush thread addicts
 

Here's my personal request to all alums who want to know where their PNM ended up pledging. (Note I'm referring to a campus with over 1,000 women going recruitment, but others may feel the same way.) Please do not call the house on Bid Day and expect them to happily track down which Chapter your girl pledged.

First, these actives have been working hard all week. Now they want to relax and enjoy the celebration with their new pledge class. Second, we often don't get the full list of where everyone pledged until later in the day. Third, we get one copy of this list and try to keep it safe. On this exciting day no one wants to take the time to go run copies and have to keep track of all of them. So all I'm asking is please wait until at least the day after.

But above all I beg of you, if your PNM did not get a bid to your GLO please do not call the Chapter and start ripping the poor active who answered the phone a new one. At a minimum ask for the Recruitment Chair or President. Actually as a Chapter Advisor I instruct all members to direct those sorts of calls to me because I won't tolerate my girls being abused by an alum, which is what so often happens in these situations.

Just keep in mind regardless of who you talk to, they are not allowed to divulge specifics of the selection process even to alums. You were in their shoes once, please remember how difficult it can be to make these decisions.

Thanks for this great thread. It is a useful and timely reminder.
Posting a thread as a pnm going through recruitment does not constitute a contract between the poster and those who love recruitment threads. The pnms has every right to write as much or as little as they like, and is not required they should submit to any posting schedule. I know we all want to support these women but sometimes the tone of the requests for updates gets a bit frantic. And yes, the 42 requests for an update makes the threads uninviting at the very least.
thanks again for the reminder!

AMEN! That and "Any updates? Any updates?"

A remember a few rushes ago, we had a GCer who helped several PNMs in securing recs for their rushes. These PNMs were going through rush at fairly large and competitive southern schools -- and each had a chapter of the GCer's sorority.

Fast forward through rush, and about one or two of these PNMs never really bothered to update their stories past Round One. It would probably be safe to say that rush simply didn't work out for them or she just didn't feel like posting on GC.

THIS GCer PUBLICLY POSTED THIS (or something along the lines of this):

"OH...I'LL JUST TRY AND GET A HOLD OF MY CONTACT AT XYZ UNIVERSITY AND I'LL FIND OUT WHERE SHE WENT."

Sometimes these girls don't post for a reason -- and it's one thing to sincerely be curious as to where she wound up (if anything), but it was plainly obvious (especially from other posts) that she was just a rush addict F-R-E-A-K. Put it this way, she needed help.

Thankfully she hasn't been online for a bunch of rushes now, and I really hope she stays the hell away. :mad:

I agree - I think it's creepy to call up the chapter and nose around.

Plus it might weird out the chapter and affect the girls chances at recruitment if you're that crazy alum harassing them about the PNM!

I know I may get ripped for this, but my biggest pet peeve on all of GC is the infamous "Good luck!" post.

If I have to read through another "good luck", "have a great recruitment", "follow your heart" or "keep an open mind" I think I will throw up.

I'm sort of hoping that when recruitment begins I'll read a recruitment story thread and hear....I don't know....their recruitment story maybe? But somehow I doubt it.

Aries, you forgot to include in the consolation prize category:

Oh, it's ok--- you can always AI.

*Kidding, kidding, people!

I love the new signature, Aries!

LOL...yeah I thought about including "there's always AI" but I'm afraid people might actually take my sig seriously.

**pounds head into the monitor until it bleeds!**

ariesrising, you are awesome!

I'm ok with the initial good luck posts, mostly... But when you have to go back and wish them good luck every time they post something new, that's ridiculous. And when they're updating WHILE they're rushing, there's no need to wish them good luck again every day. Your good luck wishes don't expire after every round.

Re: Re: Re: Advice to rush thread addicts
 

Yep that's how our USC (CA) chapter does it. I received a nice note telling me where one girl went and that the other diidn't pledge..........